My Father Cigars Le Bijou 1922 Churchill in Review

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My Father Cigars Le Bijou 1922 Churchill in Review

WRAPPER: Habano Oscuro-oscuro
BINDER: Nicaraguan
FILLER: Nicaraguan

FORMAT: Churchill
ORIGIN: Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Med.-Full

NOTES:

Chocolate | Espresso | Spiced grains

Of course, you get that Pepin ground black and red flake pepper blast in the first few puffs. That clears into a molasses-heavy but not cloying sweetness. Chocolate is a primary note existing somewhere between chocolate bread and burnt brownie corner. Also, a segment of that gets a rye grain coffee bean attachment that scans there as Russian black bread. All along, the cocoa is decadently supple, nuanced, and complex--as is the rest of the profile. Spices: cumin, clove, cinnamon. It does not try hard. Correction--it tries hard not to try hard. Refrain.

The midsection ballons with leather and oils, dripping-down into plush black soils. Umami-drenched. Barnyard. Manure. Lip-smacking, and when you smack them lips of yours on the long finish, there's a definite glimpse of plantain. The whole thing is structured superbly-so via a true cedar that's sweetly-spiced and a tick citrusy-floral. Excellent balance. Great silky weight. I love re-visiting blends to remind myself of how much and why I appreciate their goodness. Here, it's simply displayed, delightfully austere. A rationed ostentatiousness. 

Burn-line happens unevenly through the 1/3 but a hard re-direct holds throughout the remainder of the experience. I usually don't mention initial redirects but this was, as stated, a big and stubbornly-met retouch. In the late 2/3 to opening 3/3, there is some softening of packing that happens the draw a 1/2-tick. Come the nub, it's back to form as I spear it with a toothpick, greedily, cheapskatedly. All else-wise performed at the least admirably. Dense clinging ash, excellent smoke out-put; this culminated in a classical room-note of what I call gentleman's study. The leather, the wood paneling, the books. Speaking of which, this is a blend for the books.

TASTE: A
DRAW: A-
BURN: B+
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Mr. Barker, We Meet Again (Before?) Sherlock Holmes: The Valley of Fear

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Mr. Barker, We Meet Again (Before?) Sherlock Holmes: The Valley of Fear 

This is a sort of unofficial or at least somewhat unexpected second of a further unexpected three-part series wherein we thrice meet a man named Barker in Sherlockian canon. Perhaps the same man named Barker. We shall see. Not long ago at all, depending upon how you individually process time, I wrote and posted here an article titled, "An Introduction to Mr. Barker (from The Sherlock Holmes Adventure of the Retired Colourman)" I mentioned therein that his lone appearance was in those RETI pages. I might have been... less than correct. Although I stop safely shy of claiming full-blown incorrect.

However, as stated, we do meet other Barkers, and perhaps they are all he. The focus here is on one Cecil Barker, more precisely--the focus here is to suss out if they are one and the same, the Retired Colourman and Valley of Fear Mr. Barkers. According to William Stuart Baring-Gould and his chronology of canon, RETI took place in July of 1898. Before that, Cecil Barker plays a role in The Valley of Fear, circa January 1888. Again, could this be our first introduction to our man? If so, we know a lot more about him or at least have a lot more potential information with which to hypothesize upon his character-build. This VALL role is a meaty role.

The Barker in VALL is introduced as "Cecil James Barker, of Hales Lodge, Hampstead." This immediately does two things, one offers somewhat of a pro and the other somewhat of a con, in connecting the two Barkers as one. First, the full name. He is known only as Barker in The Adventure of the Retired Colourman, as well as (in which we will delve in pt. 3) The Adventure of the Empty House. Although the allusion to EMPT is admittedly misleading, as he is not mentioned by any name at all (at times I confuse my headcanon with canon-canon). Although a VALL full name, an EMPT cameo, and a familiar surname in RETI as acts I, II, & III of his saga, can well be a designed thing.

Nevertheless, 'Hampstead.' puts him near enough to his RETI base of Surrey. Thus far, it's inconclusive at best. Looking further, what is his role in the Valley story? He was a regular guest at Birlstone House and quite cozy with Douglas/Edwards and his wife, and with D/E from the way-back. He was first on the scene of the murder. Posited his own 'very definite' theory (although he did know the truth) and even went so far as to seem adept at handling said scene, or at least not tainting it. (Adept up to manipulating it.) "Nothing has been touched up to now," said Cecil Barker. "I'll answer for that. You see it all exactly as I found it."

Let's get physical. "A tall, sunburned, capable-looking, clean-shaved man looked in at us. I had no difficulty in guessing that it was the Cecil Barker of whom I had heard. His masterful eyes travelled quickly with a questioning glance from face to face." Tall jives with his RETI description. Sunburned could be in step with 'dark' from those pages as well. An out-of-doors sort of fellow. But clean-shaved. I suppose he could later-on have decided to grow a mustache. Also, 'stern' fits. His taking-in of the room seems quite detective-y. He comes to offer the new evidence of a found bicycle. An investigator would be proficient at steering an investigation.

Barker was, as noted, first on the scene. He then turned back Mrs. Douglas. "Poor Jack is dead! You can do nothing. For God's sake, go back!" She heeded his trusted words silently. Holmes noted the oddity of this behavior but what if she had known of the potential scheme? I say potential because I do not believe she knew it all until she congregated by the hedges with Barker quite gleefully, in a scene that all but convinced Watson they were, if not knew, her husband's murder(s)*... probably the former. Actually, "He entreated her to go back, and she answered him, but what she said could not be heard." Could be an "Easy. I will explain later," sort of quick kayfabe convo.

I believe that the most convincing look at Cecil Barker as a detective in-the-know was slipped in "He imagined that some secret society, some implacable organization, was on Douglas's track." To me, this obviously alludes to the presence of Moriarty--not Scowrers. (Holmes too would acknowledge Moriarty by this adventure's end.) Remember, word of the Scowrers was no secret, as news of their horrid misdeeds spread throughout America, so why not across the pond? (A trip Cecil took.) Barker's mind, and here his words, were a step-ahead. From that interview, "Some inquiries are offensive," Barker answered angrily. Here we see the short-fuse I cited sensing in what is now pt. 1 of our look at him... how he kept it overly in-check during RETI.

More physical traits. Watson likes hands. He freely notes Holmes' and here in VALL he notes Barker's "... great, strong [man-handler?] hands." Remember this from RETI: "When I could twist my head round I looked into the tinted spectacles of my friend and rival, Mr. Barker. It was a curious foregathering and set us both smiling." WHEN HE COULD. This is strength, as we recall Holmes capable of bending a fire poker. More-so, "strong black eyebrows," is a match for his I say now probable RETI description. Add too, "broad shoulders" to the growing list.

Now then, what of the VALL lack of 'grey,' 'coloured,' or 'tinted' glasses made mentioned in RETI and EMPT, respectively. Recall this is the first meeting, chronologically-speaking of this character. Perhaps his sensitive eyes were prone to later worsening? Perhaps some unmentioned injury in the interim twixt? Or, perhaps, as his renown grew larger over time so did his need to secret his identity or at least make it a tick obscured. Also, look at the William Stuart Baring-Gould dates. This eye-protectionless VALL appearance occurs in dull-sunned January. EMPT is in April, and RETI, July. It's sunnier in his shades donning months.

*This is the clincher passage perhaps, in proving these two Barkers are one-in-the-same indeed. "Now all pretense of grief had passed away from her. Her eyes shone with the joy of living, and her face still quivered with amusement at some remark of her companion." A few ticks later, Mrs. Douglas wants to let Holmes and Watson in on all she's just learned. At first, Barker rejects the idea but quickly changes his mind: "Yes, that's it," said Barker eagerly. "Is he on his own or is he entirely in with them?” In other words, will he work with me, together as private investigators, at the expense of not working with the official police?

And we see here Barker's plucky bootstrapping attempt at pulling himself up to Holmes' level. He's just not been deemed ready yet for primetime. So comes the response of "I wish none of their confidences." The great detective simply requires eating a fourth egg (cholesterol levels be damned) and then will show how he has the case in hand. He knows Barker lied and so did the Mrs., and furthermore are not the actual murderers. "Mrs. Douglas and Barker are both in a conspiracy to conceal something; that they aided the murderer's escape," the master is almost there if not (silently) already arrived.

We now come to Holmes baiting Barker via the direct correspondence of a letter. Long unnecessary story short, enter the not-dead at all previously thought brutally murdered Douglas. He says, "I hadn't much time to make it all clear to Barker and to my wife; but they understood enough to be able to help me. I knew all about this hiding place, so did Ames; but it never entered his head to connect it with the matter. I retired into it, and it was up to Barker to do the rest." So she did know and what I mentioned before between Barker and wifey was simply a notification of all going according to plan. With Barker taking the lead because, again, who better to steer an investigation than an investigator? That or it's a high-percentage utter fabrication.

Finishing up what we do know of our man, our one-man, Barker, he amassed a fortune alongside Douglas. Deep pockets are mandated if pursuing a career similar to the one which Holmes invented if you wish at all to play at or near his level. He's an Englishman, as I deduced in pt.1, and at this tale's completion--he is in league with Sherlock Holmes. It's he that brings word of the death of Birdy Edwards to 221b. He "beat his head with his clenched fist in his impotent anger. "Do not tell me that we have to sit down under this? Do you say that no one can ever get level with this king devil?" 'WE.'

"I don't say that he can't be beat. But you must give me time--you must give me time!" We all sat in silence for some minutes while those fateful eyes still strained to pierce the veil." A meeting of all those employed under the Holmes Detective Agency. I'd imagine with Barker allowed to moonlight later, then inheriting upn Holmes' retiring to the bees. Why then, do we not know of Barker's own adventures, even as we know of Holmes'? One word: Watson. Everyone plays a role in the HDA. The Master, the hot-headed apprentice, and the loyal chronicler.

REMINDER OF TIMELINE
(William Stuart Baring-Gould)

VALL: 7 January 1888
EMPT: 5 April 1894
RETI: 28 July 1898

Part III coming soon. A final look at (maybe) Barker in EMPT.

::: very :::

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Latakia Tobacco but Were Afraid to Ask

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Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Latakia Tobacco but Were Afraid to Ask. Everything, huh? That's a bold statement concerning Latakia. Its history is long, malleable, changeable, and at a point, almost lost. Also, here it's presented in a condensed fashion, as well. A full delve into each aspect would culminate in a book-length read. OK, maybe a fat pamphlet. Below, instead, is a comparatively rather brief overview. I'm talking in circles, first paragraph. Ah, the buzz that research brings.

All that stated, where to begin with this prized condiment-component of English blends? I suppose at the beginning. Even before that, though, let's understand that like Cavendish, Latakia refers not to a specific varietal of leaf but to a type of process. Granted, what is used in this process is Oriental leaf. This means leaf grown in the region of the old Ottoman Empire. Namely, Turkey, Greece, Lebanon, Bulgaria, and North Macedonia. This is why at times it's also called 'Turkish tobacco.'

Nicotiana rustica is a leaf that is, like others, a product of its (here arid) environment. So instead of a say six-foot-tall western-world Nicotiana tabacum plant with 20-something leaves, we're dealing instead with something half that height putting out maybe a hundred small leaves per. This short stature helps it make the most of the scant moisture offered, even as its bushy foliage shades its own self. On top of that, the structure of its leaves aids in funneling water to its roots. 

As you might imagine, these leaves are tiny, so much so that they are sewn-together in an effort to keep them from scattering about during their sun-cured first stage. Did I say this is quite labor-intensive? They are then placed on a frame and carefully turned to be angled toward the sun. After several days of sun-curing, they're unsewn and sent to Cyprus for the Latakia process to begin. Before the unrest in Syria (where Nicotiana tabacum was also used and grew naturally smaller) all, or the predominant amount of, Latakia production was staged there. A note as to Syrian farming, back in that time, the 'shekk-el-bint' plants were stalk cut and left to lay in the sun.

But Syrian Latakia--from Latakia, Syria--while once the norm, is no longer in existence. To be clear, Syria still produces tobacco but does not process our leaf at hand. This is due to anti-deforestation efforts atop the aforementioned strife which made distribution nightmarish. That precisely is where Cyprus comes in, along with the one entity which handles the whole although small shebang, Bee Trading Co. It feels odd to write, but I'd rather not go too far down that rabbit hole within the confines of this overview (as stated at the onset). Suffice to say, a good part of the Syrian knowledge was lost in the necessary move to Cyprus. What remains now is a leaf that exhibits some different smoking characteristics from what it once did.

Aside from that lost information, much still stays the same in terms of processing. So let's get to that, shall we? It is thought that the whole reason for this lauded process, interestingly enough, came about due to a circa 1880s bumper crop. Shy on storage room, the days of yore farmers were forced to house these excess leaves in their, well, houses. There, they slowly cooked in the warmth of their home fires and picked up the aromas of their daily lives for months at a time. The effect this had on the tobacco is what grew to be mimicked via smoke-curing on account of its tastiness--again, first in Syria, now in Cyprus for the current smoker's conceivable lifetime.

As to said Cyprian smoke-cure: "Helmut Fischer of the British-American Tobacco Company in July of 1964 gave a list of woods used in Cyprus including percentages as follows: Mastic - Pistacia Centiscus: 90% Myrtle - Myrtus Communis Romana: 4 % Stone Pine - Pinus Pinea Pinus Pinaster: 4% Cypress Tree - Cypressus Sempervirens: 1% Konison-?: 1%" (Wikipedia) // The smoking process takes months (see its accidental discovery and imagine apeing it) and this accounts for, in part, the dark complexion of the final product. Many of the sugars are 'cooked' out of it, which leads to its slight nicotine content and smooth smokeabilty. More on that in a tick.

First, let's have fun back-tracking a bit! A note as to the Latakia fermentation process. It takes a lot, an awful lot of this leaf in the same place all at once to fully ferment. Because of that, the fermentation process is at times varying levels of aborted. Shortened would have been a kinder word. Remember, this is a fairly niche leaf even though it plays large roles where it does indeed find roles to play. Am I coming up 'short' in brevity or clarity? Hard to say, ain't it?

English blends. I mentioned that Latakia plays a pivotal role there. However, if lots of the leaves in your English blend come from the Balkans, you have a Balkan blend. Add some Cavendish to the bill and you are talking a Scottish blend. More than a certain amount of Burley: American/English blend. Cigar leaf inclusion: CALL ME. Please note that there is no clear distinction but plenty of debate in many (all) of these distinctions. 

The truth of the matter is it is best known as a component, a condimental leaf, of English blends. To be fair, it is almost always condimental, as a little bit goes a long way. Latakia's English fame is due simply to the fact that at its onset, it was used mainly by blenders and manufacturers in the United Kingdom. This is because the UK already had 'dealings' in the Middle East that, say America, did not yet 'boast.' It did have the slightest of presence in the US at around that time but that leaf came from tobacco purchased from England. 

Finally, what's it like to smoke the stuff? Well, you smoking it is a ::: very ::: excellent way to sort that out yourself. Barring that (& for whatever odd reason) you want to read it from me--smoky. But in a fantastically more nuanced yet still powerful manner as compared to the cigar world's 14-day smoke-cured Kentucky Fire Cured offering. With Latakia's lengthy cooking time, the stuff is a bit like pre-chewed food, in a way far more delicious than that describes. Think spiced floral woodsy notes. Some tart almost wine-like astringency.

Mostly, think smoky. Sometimes, think Lapsang souchong black tea. One awesome performance characteristic is actually two things that I am about to list. ZERO TONGUE BITE. That, and it burns supremely well and stays coolly lit like a dream. I suppose I could end on a high note but instead of that--a warning: I've heard it said of Latakia that men love it and women hate it. This horridly antiquated take on divisive gender expectations is meant to mean that those who don't smoke might hate its room-note. It is pungent af.

Thanks for reading!

::: very :::

LIVE w/ Laurel Tilley, Macanudo Cigars Brand Ambassador

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LIVE w/ Laurel Tilley, Macanudo Cigars Brand Ambassador

[Originally aired 1/24/22]

I'm joined by Laurel Tilley of General Cigars (Macanud Brand Ambassador) and we talk a lot. One of us listens. The old and new cigar booms, a trip thru the Macanudo portfolio, and shoes that make you tall(er). Plus MORE.

Watch on-demand at your leisure, simply by dialing up @kaplowitzmedia on Instagram and looking under the IGTV or whatever it is now tab. "VIDEOS," I think. thx

::: very :::

The Adventure of the Connecticut Broadleaf Shortage

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The Adventure of the Connecticut Broadleaf Shortage [CONN]

Back in 2000, August rains deluged the Connecticut River Valley. This falling water came accompanied by falling temps and the two together created a perfect opportunity for blue mold. Tobacco growers faced that threat preemptively and quite well but then: brown spot. fin. Sounds at ::: very ::: least a little like 2019 and 2021's crop issues. But add to the acts of God, acts of men who buy up what remains of limited resources at such a prodigious clip as to sandbag. The little guys are left out in the cold. But weren't it always hard being plucky? 

In short, while pimpin' might not be easy, tobacco farming and leaf procurement are quite more difficult. You know what's easy? Smoking. Let's take a moment to look at that as we catch our collective breath. Connecticut Broadleaf (CBL). Characteristics of this intensely flavorful varietal tend toward sweetness (chocolate-covered raisins) rooted in a compost-earthen base. Spices and leather could be expected, as well, all in a somewhat rugged manner of delivery. It's a punch in the mouth, really. Performace-wise, it's a slow-burning leaf, at times problematically-so. Cosmetically, think fugly. Inelegant thickness and veins oft akin to stems.

:::

Now, let's find out a tick or two more about this 'baccy, this time via a bit from my Unnamed Cigar Dictionary (UCD) in-progress project...

Connecticut Broadleaf A short, portly large-leafed varietal grown in the Connecticut River Valley and in the open sun. Their hefty leaves give them their apt name and tend to get quite dark via the fermentation process. Many a vaulted Maduro offering is cloaked in Connecticut broadleaf. [The plant is stalk cut, meaning the entire plant is harvested at once.]

Connecticut River Valley Stretching from Harford Connecticut to a bit over the Massachusetts border, this growing region is, well, a tobacco-growing region. That sentence just kinda fell off at the end. Oh well. I might as well add that the lower tip of Vermont also is included.

Historians say that tobacco has been grown there by those of European descent since the 1600s and by natives long-back before that, although that’s silly because no one listens to historians these days. Apparently, glaciers crept down from the Arctic because Al Gore wasn’t around then to stop global warming, this left the soils rather loamy, and with other descriptors of clay, sand, and silt. [Why yes, I will sacrifice sentence structure at the altar of a bad joke.]

:::

More on the leaf at hand. According to my research, some cite CBL amongst if not the first tobacco grown in the area. However long it's been, the road to its popularity has been slow and winding. Prior to its more recent wrapper usage days, it was typically employed as binder and/or filler almost exclusively. It also graced the likes of the near-graceless Backwoods Cigars. I mean, it becomes to take on a certain charm, doesn't it? The appeal of a local pug makes glitzy good. Nose to the grindstone, kid. Bootstraps!

So what's next for this leaf? Well, not all CBL (or otherwise) crops suck. Greedy hoarders reach their ends. I doubt its over-all popularity will wane much as it dips temporarily in availability, but ultimately all fads are cyclical. However, I do see San Andreas getting a boost as a viable more readily available option. Funny. A good way to ensure more leaf is obviously by growing it in more places. Nicaragua has been experimenting with growing CBL. I've seen some folks liken thoughts of Nica BL to a decade ago's SA. See, manufacturers of premium cigars back then tried their best to hide their use of stigmatized Mexican tobacco. 

I don't get that happening here though--I don't see why it would be any sort of tarnish to say "Nicaraguan Broadleaf." People accept Nicaraguan and they accept broadleaf, each to the tune of jumping up and down and asking JUST ASKING practically demanding to have their monies taken. Although, the American farmer might have a thing or two to say about all this. That's right. Somebody go get John Cougar Mellencamp. Tell him to bring his guitar and a chili dog. We're headed to Pennsylvania and Maryland. There are other US spots but I figured hey, that's enough.

Lancaster County's New Providence, PA has been experimenting with growing CBL for a handful of years and as of the most recent news I can make myself privy to, has grown at least as much each year and in what is referred to as 'sizable' quantities. This, of course, alongside their usual Pennsylvania type 41 Broadleaf. To compare the two agriculturally, CBL weighs 1/2-1/3 what PA does, so that's nice for field workers and their backs. It's also ready for sale in the fall as opposed to PA's wintertime market trip, and getting paid sooner is always cool. 

Wait... Maryland? I thought I saw myself typing that earlier. At around the same time as the previous paragraph's reporting took place (a few years back) but in Chaptico, Md, Connecticut Broadleaf is providing and provided with another option once again. Burley is typically grown in that neck of the woods, making CBL happening for farmers on no small learning curve. For one, apparently, burley can be harvested and left lying in the field a couple of days. You cannot do that and expect top-grade wrapper leaf. Our plant is seen as a quite lucrative yet equally risky endeavor in the land of Old Bay seasoning on everything.

Where does this avalanche of information, some of which is mildly dated, lazily researched, and maybe oddly presented leave us? I'm gonna go smoke a cigar, that's where. You do you.

GLOSSARY OF TERMS

(quotes from Wikipedia)

Blue mold "... is a plant pathogen infecting tobacco that causes blue mold. It is an oomycete (a fungus-like organism) that is highly destructive toward seed plants. It is very prevalent in humid farming zones, like the southeastern and eastern U.S., Canada, and countries bordering the Caribbean. The disease was first identified in 1921 in Florida and Georgia." - Ivors, Kelly, and Asimina Mila. "Burley and Flue-cured Tobacco: Blue Mold." North American Plant Disease Center Forecast. 16 July 2007. Web. 3 March 2010.

Brown spot "is a fungus which has been recorded causing leaf spot and other diseases on over 380 host species of plant. It is an opportunistic pathogen on numerous hosts causing leaf spots, rots and blights on many plant parts."

RESEARCH SOURCES

(Spots I informed myself at)

American Farm Publications

Cigar Advisor

Cigar Aficionado

Connecticut Valley Tobacco Museum

Lancaster Farming

::: very :::

Kaplowitz Media. Cigars of the Month (January 2022)

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Kaplowitz Media. 

Cigars of the Month 

(January 2022)

Partagas Cigars Decadas Limited Reserve 2021

Suede | Citrus | Earth

FINAL GRADE: A-

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Muestra de Saka Chubby Unicorn

Star anise | Nutshells/wood | Semi-sweet chocolate

FINAL GRADE: A-

If you'd like to read the full reviews, simply employ the search field to the right of your screen. thx 

::: very :::

Rocky Patel Cigars Grand Reserve in Review

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Rocky Patel Cigars Grand Reserve in Review

WRAPPER: Undisclosed
BINDER: Undisclosed
FILLER: Undisclosed

FORMAT: "Sixty" Gordo 660
ORIGIN: Honduras
INTENSITY: Medium

NOTES:

Cedar/citrus | Floral/fruitiness | Spiced chestnut

First, there's a big front of white peppercorn that settles into black pepper flake rather quickly. Then a cedar shows in an alive if not lively fashion, on the heels of that is a big citrus zest accompaniment. The notes are interestingly married. And there are two more instances of matrimony. A floral fruitiness chugs atop the clay-earthen sunlit bottom. Think under-ripened melon and chamomile with a surprising edge to it. In the in-between is a chestnut note, not roasting but spiced brightly-glaringly with saffron and curry powder. Zippy? Tastes like catching a glare off chrome trim.

All the listed partnerships are delineated and with a great distance twixt. Hooray, structure! A separate yeasty-herbal tanginess occupies the spaces like the first sunny day of the year occupies the eyes. Soaring notes but not uncomfortably-so, just high not deep, and nuances build upwards. Complexities are nice but in a kind of aggressive way. A weird mix of truculent and mellow. A sharply focused gaze out a window blankly. Not super-balanced, way citrus. At the mid-point, milk chocolate and suede come lightly-cautiously in. For all the shiny clamor, the finish is decidedly thinned out to a salty lemon-orange. A bit of minerality.

Draws excellently gate-to-wire. Burns on a wobbly line. Ash grows dense and clings well to a markedly quite-wide mascara-line. That width serves as a visual sign of the youth felt on the palate. A seam gets a tick loose before the mid-point but is fine on the other side of said point. Smoke out-put is moderate and then some, with an aroma of floral suede and culminating room-note of additional pale toasted grain. Rolled impressively solid. Sorta performs like it doesn't know that. Flighty and a bit jarringly-so. Fidgety. High-strung.

TASTE: B
DRAW: A-
BURN: B
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Excerpt X from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

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Excerpt X from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

Before we get into this, I have a confession. Work has slowed to a halt in terms of this project. This is temporary however and should pick up again in the coming days. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Also, as somewhat of an update, I'm a strong-not-scant 90% done with my first jaunt through the alphabet. Then will come a second jaunt. Then, some further verbal pizzazz--followed by illustrations--visual pizzazz*. In closing: PIZZAZZ.

That stated, here are three (3) entries + that I believe & hope will find you well.

::: EXCERPT :::

Churchill A Pajejo Vitola which, in Cuban factories, measures seven inches long with a Ring Gauge of 47. In New World specs, think in terms of an offering measuring 6 3/4 to 7 inches, with a ring gauge (or RG) of at least 47, normally 48. I personally abhor a 50RG "Churchill."

Did you know that Winston Churchill (from whom this format gains its nom de tobacco) was famously lazy? I always am put in mind of Mycroft Holmes when I think of The British Bulldog working from his bed until an 11am Whiskey & Soda accompanied stroll through his garden, with a stogie in tow, I am most certain.

Back to Cuban factories, the Churchill is known as a Julieta No. 2. At the factory level. Romeo y Julieta was first to use the Churchill moniker in terms of retail in either the late 1940s or early 50s (depending upon who you ask). Prior to this naming shift, the size went by the name of Clemenceau. Obviously, “Churchill” became the common name across-the-board.

Robusto A 5X50 cigar size, classically. While all cigars are getting fatter, this format seems among the most susceptible to sneaking up a notch or two. 5x52 and 54 are pretty common. Must be all the McDonald’s they were fed as kids.

Toro Traditionally, a Vitola that measures one inch longer than a Robusto, so 6x50. Much more common now is a 6x52 expression. 

In days of yore, the Corona size was what most offerings were blended in. Nowadays, much to my chagrin and the general growing largess of cigars, I understand this vitola is popular to ‘blend to,’ that’s fine. Another way to state this shift is that the toro is now a quite average size when not long ago at all, it was considered humungous.

There you go. Three (or perhaps 2.5) currently popular formats (sorry, Churchill). In compiling these entries, I often have thoughts of mine presented to me all over again. One of which is the overall growing size of cigars. The prevailing wisdom behind this is that the consumer senses more bang for their buck. I could go on here about how that is an incorrect view, but perhaps that's best expressed in its own article at a later time.

I continue to feel it awkward to include 'parejo' alongside 'vitola,' which is why I didn't do it here consistently. I'm still on the fence as to this and will hop off onto one side or the other any day now. Too, I feel as though I used the word shift a lot. It's what it is though. What's a synonym? Dunno, I'm stumped. Nonplussed. Put at a loss. Baffled.

::: BONUS MATERIAL :::

Vitola The size and shape of a cigar as designated by the factory in which it’s rolled, and again by the brand that brings it to market. Robusto is a vitola, for instance. As is Toro, etc. Worthy of note is that there is no true strict standard adhered to by brands. Lots of wiggle-room.

Parejo A cigar with straight edges (Lonsdale, Robusto, Toro). A cigar with not-straight edges (Perfecto, Belicoso, Diadema) is called a Figurado.

Please note that some entries in this excerpt have appeared in other installments. I fell into a theme here and ran with it, but I do believe these second appearances are somewhat different as editing is a constant.

I'll make it up to you with this next bit.

A is for Apple… 

(& quite a weird way to begin.) A common question people don’t ask me is how best to clean their palate between cigars. This always, whenever it doesn’t happen, strikes me odd. Because why not let time heal all wounds and cleanse all palates? There are precious few of us who need to back-to-back smoke cigars while retaining a sense of clarity. Regardless, eat an apple if you need to rush the hands of time. The funny thing is if you needed to know that, you do and also have your own method already. Succinctly, do not chain-smoke cigars for funsies.

::: FONT GUIDE :::

Excerpt from the work-in-progress book (UCD).
My thoughts on the work-in-progress book (UCD).
Italics within definitions are recommendations to see that entry.

::: WHAT DID I JUST READ? :::

As you Gentlepersons hopefully know or are at the ::: very ::: least now FINALLY aware of under that rock of yours, I am constructing a Cigar Dictionary. A book. It is yet to have been named. Its working title is "Unnamed Cigar Dictionary" (UCD). I will change that "As soon as possible" (ASAP). Nevertheless, the idea of the whole thing, the game plan, is that I will blog the process of creating & assembling the UCD on a non-scheduled basis.

Included in these blog posts will be my italicized thoughts regarding said creating & assembling process--and as we get closer to it being a book proper, the process of that, as well. THESE WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FINISHED BOOK. Please note that not everything, including the whole or part of definitions, will appear in the finished book.

To read other excerpts, search Unnamed Cigar Dictionary or UCD, in the Search Kaplowitz Media. field to the right of your screen.

I need you Gentlepersons to get excited about this and not be able to wait to purchase it--whenever it finally is completed and available for said purchasing. *NO TIMEFRAME.

::: very :::

On "The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet" from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

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On "The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet" [BERY] from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

::: PUBLICATION HISTORY :::

The Strand Magazine (UK) May 1892
The Strand (US) June 1892
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (Coll.) October 1892

::: NOTES & GRADING :::

Watson gets one right! Sorta. Not the case, mind you but: "for he was running hard, with occasional little springs, such as a weary man gives who is little accustomed to set any tax upon his legs." Then from their portly visitor's own mouth, "I came to Baker Street by the Underground and hurried from there on foot, for the cabs go slowly through this snow. That is why I was so out of breath, for I am a man who takes very little exercise." SCORE IT!

The ensuing melodrama prior to the case being related to Holmes is Victorian Era melodrama delicious. "For a while he could not get his words out, but swayed his body and plucked at his hair like one who has been driven to the extreme limits of his reason. Then, suddenly springing to his feet, he beat his head against the wall with such force that we both rushed upon him and tore him away to the centre of the room." He is then plopped kindly into what acts as a de facto fainting couch from which he tells our duo word of his woe.

Prior to that display, Watson was pontificating as to the sad scene of a 'madman' whose "relatives should allow him to come out alone." Post said scene, from the fainting couch, we learn the man is Alexander Holder, "the senior partner in the second largest private banking concern in the City of London." Furthermore, that it all went downhill for the upper-crust fellow when an unnamed Nobleman secured from him a four-day 50K pound loan with “One of the most precious public possessions of the empire" as collateral. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Well, what went wrong for me is that I wanted to bite harder into this hinted-at red herring of sorts. I wanted to further believe my initial idea that somehow this indebted Nobleman was behind the 'theft.' having orchestrated the whole shebang. Alas, it was all too fleeting. Then the 'very pretty' Lucy Parr makes a longer if not far-less tantalizing bit of pickled fishiness; she and her peg-legged beau. Entirely unconvincing, that. However, its parallels to the real burglars are neat.

Equally if not more-so unconvincing is the case against Arthur, the grievously disappointing son of our once-proud now potentially ruined banker. The case against him doesn't seem as damning as we're presented it to be. He's standing there in plain-ish sight, not dressed (outside was a "strong frost"), holding the coronet? Seemingly with no plans whatsoever to actually steal away with it. Mary screamed when she saw the coronet in Arthur's keep. This Holder (a great banker name) is more than a bit blinded by his bias here.

Also, Burnwell is a delightful villainous name. How can you not suspect that guy? Evil McThefty? Nah, he seems OK. Maybe it's not that egregious a name but oh, well. Not all my jokes land.

Holmes has it covered, but while seeming smart, he also poo-poos what we're supposed to believe. "You suppose that your son came down from his bed, went, at great risk, to your dressing-room, opened your bureau, took out your coronet, broke off by main force a small portion of it, went off to some other place, concealed three gems out of the thirty-nine, with such skill that nobody can find them, and then returned with the other thirty-six into the room in which he exposed himself to the greatest danger of being discovered. I ask you now, is such a theory tenable?"

You see, this is mainly the tale of a kid being a bit of a spoiled shit, at least in-part due to his dad not saying 'no' nearly enough or even at all. So Dad becomes biased after creating the tilt, for he had been BURNt so WELL in the past. Then biased further by 'his little Mary' just being the perfect little apple of his almost strangely over-affectionate eye. Character-wise, there is also McThefty who frequents their abode on a regular basis. (Which is why Mary is home so much.) I've already mentioned the mentionable rest.

Holmes has some decent dialog with Watson. The good doctor seems near the top of his narrative game but also at the heights of his bewilderment. It's all good but the way it's told is off-kilter in a sort, where again, the obvious is not and the not is a foregone conclusion not to be swayed-from right up until the ::: very ::: last. All these quirks make the plot a bit shaky, like a person of perhaps as much as average intelligence feeling quite brilliant for ingesting certain stimuli. But that's enough about Whovians and Dr. Who.

I feel as though I'm all-over the place here but why is Arthur asking his cousin to marry him? Did I miss something? Oh, apparently that was kosher at the time. The problem of losing the people's jewels seems huge until you remember that the borrower here probably has the ability to print money in either the literal or figurative sense. This is odd and even more-so as the stakes lower in that way.

As the case is getting solved, we do get some neat action-hero Holmes, "At first, of course, he denied everything. But when I gave him every particular that had occurred, he tried to bluster and took down a life-preserver from the wall. I knew my man, however, and I clapped a pistol to his head before he could strike." At the end of it all, we read from Holder's appreciative mouth: "A day which has saved England from a great public scandal," said the banker, rising." But really was it that much?

Again, the only risk was to a Nobleman's name and a banker's professionalism. Call me picky or call my reading of the situation poor, but I don't see jolly old England in death throes even in a worst-case scenario. But it's the best case we get at tale's end. When Holder at long last understands Arthur isn't the villain, he blurts out "I must fly to my dear boy." A Field of Dreams moment is best avoided here. Although I wanted one on first blush, probably because I'm a big softie. I am curious, however, as to why Holmes handles breaking the news to the kid sans his father's presence.

I suppose what I'm saying is that this whole escapade strikes me as well-written humdrum. Even the nice-enough-drawn characters seem not used to their best abilities. Why not paint the baddie as badder? Why not give more insight on the transgressions of the son upon his father? Why not highlight how poor stupid smitten Mary must have been torn? I mean we get the last bit but I also get she's more upset as to being caught than about perpetrating the whole dang mess. The little bit of sympathy one might have for her is gone upon her attempting to throw Lucy to the wolves under the bus.

In closing, here's a bit of further nothing! "You should not have a farthing from me" Holder ejaculates somewhere along the tale to Arthur who is again asking to be bailed out of his gambling debt on Dad's dime. Quickly, Penny-farthing bicycles are those oldies that have a huge front wheel and a smaller one in the back. Named-so because the front wheel was seen as the penny and you get the rest. Don't you feel smarter now?

Two questions remain. Did Holder return the cracked coronet collateral all broken-up or did he take a loss paying a 24/7 jeweler's emergency rates? Obviously that second option. And who was the Nobleman borrower? I'm quite open to any thoughts on this, point me in a direction and I will go. TELL ME! All ears, here. [comments on this blog are still, and always will be, disabled.]

CHARACTERS: 1/2
SETTING: .5/2
PLOT: .5/2
PROBLEM: .5/2
SOLUTION: .5/2

FINAL GRADE: 3/10

::: RESEARCH SOURCES :::

History 

Lit 2 Go

Wikipedia

###

I'd like to take a moment to remind you kind Gentlepersons that I write these thoughts under the assumption of you having read these adventures. They are readily available everywhere, including for free at Project Gutenberg as well as Wikisource, where you can listen to it read, as well.

Also, please bear in mind that this post is part of a series in which I'm working through every case in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. For other entries in this series, use the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen and plug in either particular adventures contained within that collection, or The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes to view them in their entirety.

::: very :::

Annotating a Note | Bocock Brothers Cigars World Traveler Maduro (Churchill)

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Annotating a Note | Bocock Brothers Cigars World Traveler Maduro (Churchill)

WRAPPER: Nicaraguan
BINDER: Honduran Connecticut
FILLER: Nicaraguan

BLENDER: Raydel Lezcano
MANUFACTURER: San Judas Tadeo

FORMAT: Robusto
ORIGIN: Honduras
INTENSITY: Medium

Here I will be singularly focused on the first note to grab my attention, following its evolution (& attachments) to the end.

Chocolate. The note first fully appears as soon as the front-loaded pepper-spice smooths out. It's not an aggressive start but the black peppercorn particularly does hide our note a good bit. I'll say semi-sweet chocolate, but it begins more-so as bittersweet. From there, red fruit syrups sweeten it further along. Meaning, of course, that semi-sweet chocolate has more added sugars than does its bittersweet brethren.

Nevertheless, those fruit syrups stay alongside our note for a good length, interlacing to varying degrees and evolving on their own into a red wine before departing from chocolate at the beginning of the 2/3. Much more vanilla extract comes into the chocolate then, along with a cola flow. Then a retro-haled pull exhibits a resurgent pepper, this time ground black and red flake. It drops to the palate with a caramel cream addition. Our note gets enhanced via that confection.

The returning pepper (then spice). A leathery gambit holds this off the chocolate but not for too long and our note becomes hidden w/ the aid of cumin and paprika. As to again not lead you to believe a pepper-bomb is at hand, I'd rate it all of a four on a 10-point scale. This leads me to believe that the chocolate we're following is on some sort of union-mandated break. The whistle blows. Back to work. A new sarsaparilla churns out from anise, which in turn churned from the peppers. This drags up the chocolate.

And drags it up fudgily-so. As in our annotated note is now displayed in a milk chocolate fudge way. Much the rest of the profile softens this way, and some delineations are bled through and/or lost. This would be a mid-point transition. Coming out of that, the fudge loses some milkiness, firms, and is soon a salted darker-not-dark fudge that makes for a lip-smacking endeavor. Some umami is pulled in from the savory compost underneath. There is bittersweet chocolate back at play now.

That's right, a separate chocolate begins to form right before or at the opening of the transition, alongside newly introduced baking spices. The two cocoa notes do become one and as the final third looms and dark chocolate happens on account of that meeting. A smoky vibe sidles up close but doesn't rub elbows overly-so. Our note is silky and deep. Mature. Dusky. A certain dark-dried fruitiness sets into it. Finally, a slight tar. This is how the note displays on through to the end of the cigar.

As said, that was different. For familiarity's sake, below is my typical way of rating. As, naturally, pertains to this smoke in its entirety.

TASTE: B+
DRAW: B+
BURN: B
BUILD: B+

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

I reviewed (in the usual manner) this blend in its Robusto expression. Feel free to search that up via the Search Kaplowitz Media. field to your right.

::: very :::

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Muestra de Saka Chubby Unicorn in Review

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Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Muestra de Saka Chubby Unicorn in Review

WRAPPER: ???
BINDER: ???
FILLER: ???

[This blend is quite akin to the Muestra de Saka Unicorn, presented in a different format]

FORMAT: ~560 Perfecto
ORIGIN: Fabrica de Tabacos Joya de Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Medium-full

NOTES:

Star anise | Nutshells/wood | Semi-sweet chocolate

Let's start with the umami-drenched dark fertilized soil earthiness that envelopes the profile. All cushy and chewy and like whoa. It acts a bit like a boa constrictor applying a caring hug. Thankfully a structure is in place, and in place via the most engaging part of this entire parcel... a calmly complex slowly evolving look-see at nuts and woods. Shells and trees, too not just flesh and lumber. Hickory, charred booze barrel, black walnut, toasted almond. Pecan pie. "Nutty chocolate cream cup," comes to mind. Dessert served simultaneously with a beefy meal. Hefty.

Balanced well, is all that, by a  mature molasses sweetness which pushes forward a more obvious semi-sweet chocolate (on account of its strong vanilla influence). Spices do business too, in the form of Five Spice powder (Star Anise, cloves, cinnamon, pepper, fennel seeds). OK, maybe that's the most interesting part. Hard to say. Grains are on the back end, a rye mash bill of the stuff. So ::: very ::: much happening. Oh, look--someone is pulling a double-shot of espresso. Crema. Dang. But with all the happenings, there is no cacophony. I'm a baby constrictor and my mom is holding me tight? Oh, chicory. I legit get a Dr. Pepper vibe at mid-point. 

Flavors schmear a bit in the 3/3 when smoky malted things happen via leathery progressions. Getting to said final-third occurs on a mainly-even burn, a single lagging needs lightly re-touched. Twice. Then twice again. The draw is friggin' perfect. The ash seems to never want to fall. Seams stay tight on the oily shaft. Razor-thin char-line. Burns quite slow, evenly-paced. Big billowy smoke out-put smells like everything listed if you look particularly for an item. As with on the cheeks and tongue--it lingers long and remains beautifully delineated (almost) throughout. 

TASTE: A-
DRAW: A
BURN: B+
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

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::: very :::

Bocock Brothers Cigars World Traveler Connecticut (Churchill) in Review

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Bocock Brothers Cigars World Traveler Connecticut (Churchill in Review)

WRAPPER: USA Connecticut
BINDER: Costa Rican
FILLER: Honduran, Nicaraguan

BLENDER: Raydel Lezcano
MANUFACTURER: San Judas Tadeo

FORMAT: Churchill
ORIGIN: Honduras
INTENSITY: Mild-medium

NOTES:
Citrus | Balsa wood | Pale spice

Tangy and prickly around its edges but creamy across a broad middle. Edges consist of lemon rind and orange pith. The creaminess is a slightly lower-level of nougat, another thing like peanut butter powder. Also, a soft suede which begins to form the trailing underbelly. This is completed with a chicken coop laced clay earthiness. The structure is pinewood, lumber-style, with a cardboard lilt underneath. Pale spices scan as ginger and horseradish and live on the front-end exterior fleetingly-so.

A bit wobbly of balance until the back end smooths. Smooths is what the texture of smoke does coming out of the opening third. A complex blend in the way that it's delivered, smokes somewhat like a shuffling deck. Nary a nuance, as all notes seem to skim atop the bottom on an even-line, avoiding both heights and depths. Still, interesting. Quite ::: very ::: delineated, notes remain distinct from one another. Lively. At the half, there's a tick of honeydew that's really nice, also nice is that cardboard ticks disappear then. Grassy, some.

Nice draw if you don't mind a bit and a half of resistance. Burn-line is even, shy of perfect. Its mascara is a little wide in parts. Ash grows well and dense. Smoke out-put is moderate and leaves a springtime vibe of primary notes joined by wildflowers in its wake. Burns slow and cool. Those wildflowers are on the retro-hale with a white pepper accompaniment. Smokes a bit like a charmingly raw folk song being sung, teetering into bluegrass. Brings its own lemonade to the picnic.

TASTE: B
DRAW: B+
BURN: A-
BUILD: B+

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

The Problem with the Cigar Aficionado Top 25 Cigars of the Year List

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The Problem with the Cigar Aficionado Top 25 Cigars of the Year List

First, some parameters if you will. I say the Top 25 but I say that only because that is its name. A good reason for sure but what I'll be referring to herein is the list's Top 10 selections. For those less than adept, Cigar Aficionado Magazine has been in print since 1992, making it 30 years old as I write this article. In 2004, they named their first Cigar of the Year, a Padron Serie 1926 40th Anniversary. Splendid cigar.

The method employed in unveiling the selection is via incremental installments which last over a few days. It begins with 10 then culminates in number one. Only then are 11-25 named, the day ofter. No offense and nothing personal to those who fall outside of the Top Ten, but no one really cares about you or your feeble accomplishments. I kid because I LOVE. To be clear, I am writing this on the day of number one being named--we'll get to that in a bit. 

Cigar Aficionado magazine is given much credit, and rightly-so, for its large contribution to the previous cigar boom of the early-mid 1990s. I'd daresay that boom well might not have happened sans Marvin Shanken's glossy guidances cutting through swaths of cigar smokers and directly into the mainstream vein. We all know the A-List celebrities who have graced its luxurious pages--really it's a who's who of exactly who you would expect.

Of note is that (taking nothing away from Mr. Shanken) timing means a lot. As I like to mention, about a decade earlier Al Goldstein, dirtbag pornographer, began his own publication named CIGAR. What a different world it might have been if that is what helped grow and steer the boom. I consider it on-par with how we'd all be speaking German if WWII went the other way. At that horrid and perhaps problematic analogy, we now get to the task at hand. L'chaim!

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains." Chalk that quote up to anyone, really. Winston Churchill, Victor Hugo, and I'm sure others have had it attributed to them. Regardless, the sentiment behind it is obvious. As we grow older, we also tend to grow more conservative. Is this ripe old bit of wisdom true though? I'd say so if becoming more conservative is clearly differentiated from becoming a Conservative, per se.

To be clear, I'm not being political. I'm referring instead to the word's entry in the Oxford Dictionary that runs: "1. averse to change or innovation and holding traditional values." With people, all things are political. With publications--well--those are run by people but I refuse to wholly believe the issues at Cigar Aficionado are 'political.' Sure it plays a part but I've already addressed that in saying 'all things are...' Suffice to say I'm not speaking in terms of red or blue neckties. I'm more of an ascot fancier.

Today, thirty years into its vaulted existence, the newly-appointed 2021 Cigar Aficionado Cigar of the Year is the Padron 1964 Anniversary Series Torpedo Natural. Splendid cigar. And if it's true you can never dip your toe into the same waters twice, it is equally true to metaphorically acknowledge the snake eating its own tail. The growth of a man from the quote above, and quite on-time (30). I'M A CIGAR GUY. As such I talk to other cigar smokers and we all watched the process of finding out the Cigar of the Year, as we yawned and yawned.

Some claim pay-to-play in the form of them thanking their advertisers but I refuse, as earlier stated, to see it that way. Unfortunately, the problem I do see is far worse. They've become conservative--again not politically--but far too conventional in their approach. Let's now step off Padron's #1 and throw shade on two through 10 as well. After stating the obvious that they are all fine cigars and correctly acknowledged as such, for the most, even as much as 30 years ago. But then, Cigar Aficionado brought them on their coat-tails into the waiting public eye.

& they have continued for the ::: very ::: most part to do just that each and every more and more humdrum year. It scans as regurgitation. For a little bit now, the cigar industry is in another newer boom, distinct from the past one both in years and ethos. The talk of the cigar smoker town is not, predominantly speaking, the cigars on these lists. The talk is of 'boutique' brands who look to push the envelope in terms of both show and go. In terms of both presentation and performance... yet this once cutting-edge magazine refuses to leave the dullness of its traditionalism. The worst thing is it can do both, but won't.

"A rising tide lifts all boats." These words came from the mouth of famed Cuban cigar smoker JFK, courtesy (apparently) of the New England Council Chamber of Commerce slogan. Or so Wikipedia assures speechwriter Ted Sorensen once acknowledged. Its meaning is clear and yet lost completely on Cigar Aficionado. It would cost them nothing in no way, to include a small upstart brand on the (1-10) list. Say in the eight-10 area. It would make them appear hip to the scene, give them a shot of street cred, and said brand a nice shot in the arm--something which not much of this top 10 needs.

I'm not talking about charity. I'm talking about some 'craft' blends no one would balk at to see at number nine, say. I'm also talking bout honoring their core readers' experiences. Mainly, I'm talking about CA offering the illusion that their editorial heads aren't stuck up their editorial asses. I mean no one there can deny the boutique guys exist; particularly since they live online and Aficionado in recent years has seemingly paid more and more attention to their own e-presence. It becomes an egregious slight at some point, and again, why? The magazine has nothing to lose via inclusion and everything to lose through continued exclusion.

At some point the legacy brands will begin to move on and what then? A publication forced to either fold or to finally do business with entities they've scorned, again and again, year in and year out? The truth is this: there are too many best cigar lists and none really count. Except for Cigar Aficionado's... that one still counts. It still moves the proverbial needle. So why not give one-tenth of it to the future and secure everyone's growth in the process? Why not be relevant to this boom, as well as the previous? I daresay the two need each other. 

Because I'll tell ya why because. Complacency. Finally, let it be known that I posit all this as a traditionalist myself. Do I love everything about the new ways of these boutique brands? Hell no. It's sometimes loud, abrasive, disrespectful of even itself, and threatens toward hipster culture which is ever-just a hair's breadth from PC cancel culture. Then again, I'm also over 30 by more than I'd like to admit. Don't worry though, I can still do things. 

"Cause it takes me all night to do 

What I used to do all night long."

- It Takes Me All Night Long, recorded by Cal Smith, written by Bozo Darnell & Dave Pittman

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::: very :::

Special Edition of 1st & 15th | SUPERSTAR Media Panel Podcast | A Look at the Cigar Aficionado Top 25 Cigars of 2021

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(Members of the Round Panel)
Special Edition of 1st & 15th
SUPERSTAR Media Panel Podcast
A Look at the Cigar Aficionado Top 25 Cigars of 2021

This SUPERSTAR media panel special presentation is being recorded on the west coast evening of today (1/14). It will 'air' at 9pm PT which qualifies for the 15th as you travel eastbound. You may look for it then on the podcatcher of your choosing, subscribe to the 1st & 15th show ahead of time, or check back here periodically for the player to be embedded LINKED upon its availability. 

To listen on Apple Podcasts click here. To listen elsewhere simply search it up wherever you're most comfy. My apologies, but the embedded player looked atrocious, particularly given the specific aesthetics here.

Produced by Phil Kurut (who will also sit on the SUPERSTAR media panel) of Comedy Cigars Music. The full cast will consist of Cigar Craig, Tim "Tiny" Rollins, Mike "Jersey" Weinstein, and my "own" self. I am honored to be a part of this star-studded event which I created and then passed off to Phil and his elbow grease. Truly honored.

We (the SUPERSTAR media panel) are but a small segment of the Round Panel, a private group that meets publicly just once a year in order to do this--weigh in on the Cigar Aficionado Top 25 Cigar of the Year list. I'll also probably stick my foot in my mouth whilst recapping some of 2021's under-the-radar highlights.

NOTE: some portions of this post have been edited a handful of hours after posting for the sake of clarity. Just imagine how it read prior.

@kaplowitzmedia

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::: very :::

Live from the Throne Room | On the Road in Nashville

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Live (on-demand) from the Throne Room
Kaplowitz Media. Presents
The Stolen Thrown Cigars Program

On the Road in Nashville 

[originally streamed live on IG 1/13/22]

[Set to stream at 5pm PST if you are reading this prior to then, get ready!]

To watch live, go to @kaplowitzmedia on Instagram. For on-demand replay at your leisure, click the IGTV tab. Also, don't forget to follow there and @stolenthronecigars.

SPECIAL EPISODE: The Stolen Throne crew is on the road in Nashville, Tennessee. Tune in and see what's up. Hint: Bourbon goes great with cigars. [edit Rye]

Live from the Throne Room. Streamed live twice a month on a pop-up schedule. From the pop-culture inane to the cigar industry sublime. Most times w/ myself & Lee Marsh, other times w/ all or part of the Stolen Throne Cigars crew.

[edits made after live show ended.] 

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::: very :::

Bocock Brothers Cigars World Traveler Habano (Churchill) in Review

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Bocock Brothers Cigars
World Traveler Habano 

WRAPPER: Honduran
BINDER: Sumatran
FILLER: Honduran, Nicaraguan

BLENDER: Raydel Lezcano
MANUFACTURER: San Judas Tadeo

FORMAT: Churchill
ORIGIN: Honduras
INTENSITY: Medium

NOTES:

Citrus | Bright earth | Exotic spices

Tangy but tethered calmly. Citrus via orange peel notes dug into to fairly brightly-lit trail dirt. Clay & terra cotta w/ a slight tho lush vegetal "hello." Cereal grains collect under yellowish saffron-led spices. Milk chocolate stirred into weak coffee & cream begins late in the front-end, grows quickly to a primary. This complements and controls the tangy up-tops. Lots of white peppercorns, particularly via the olfactory. Butter happens at the mellowing progression.

Balanced but on a sour-sweet bias and w/ less spice per se than expected. Sweet and sour sauce more-so than spice-rack particularly in the 2/3 & onward as table sugar enters the mix. Fairly and subtly complex. Subtle as in a loud whisper or fast walk--given the somewhat tart leanings. Exotic, in a way. A foreign cuisine's comfort food. It takes till near mid-point, but the smoke does heft-up some, with help from a suede entry. Nicely nuanced. Calm but unboring. Approachable not dull. The aroma is a freshly-cleaned gentleman's study. Light shines in through an open bay window.

The draw becomes perfect, after a slight open onset. Draw-line also needs some settling-in, but is quickly even and thin. Ash splits in the 1/3 but never again. Displays as a stack of dimes mainly covered in thin-pale sheathing. A bit of toothiness shows on the burnt remains. Nice smoke out-put and decent coating of lips and cheeks off of a smooth texture. Does at times grip the throat thinly. The room-note is its lingering aroma, more sweetly culminated. A 1/2" section of seam does loosen but smokes thru fine. 

TASTE: B+
DRAW: A-
BURN: A-
BUILD: B+

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

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::: very :::

Excerpt IX from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project + Drew Estate Cigars Factory Smokes Sweet in Review

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Drew Estate Cigars Factory Smokes Sweet in Review 

WRAPPER: Habano
BINDER: Indonesian
FILLER: Indonesian

FORMAT: Robusto (554)
ORIGIN: Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Mild-medium/Medium

NOTES:

Diner joe (cream & sugar) | Salted caramel | Honey malt

An imbalanced though not wholly unkind simple offering. It is cloyingly sweet but Sweet is in the name. Undertones of suede get a tick salty-bitey aggressive but a spoonful of sugar (poured from the up-high) helps the medicine go down. "The medicine go down-wown. The medicine go down" A Mary POPpins the mouth? LOL (more-so a pawing jab). Decent construction/combustion. Nice enough room-note, aspects of which are somewhat akin to talcum powder fragrances. 

TASTE: B
DRAW: B+
BURN: B
BUILD: B

FINAL GRADE: B
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

Excerpt IX from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project (UCD)

Cuban Sandwich [insert pork tenderloin joke here] LOL! But seriously, a Cuban Sandwich cigar is a Mixed Filler cigar of a certain and particular type. There is Long Filler involved and it is used to envelope (or sandwich) the Short Filler. At times the long-filler is placed at the Head end of the smoke. The result is a cigar that acts, in ways, premium–but sells for much less ham.

What ways? No small bits of leaf stuck in your pearly whites. Another is in how the ash displays and at times performs, in a sheath-like fashion.

Sweet Tip Some folks get awful creative with their own processes but at its true and rudimentary level, this is a cigar that has had its Head dipped into Arabic gum-sweetened water.

Talk about a seemingly easy definition that can send you flailing down a rabbit hole! 

::: FONT GUIDE :::

Excerpt from the work-in-progress book (UCD).
My thoughts on the work-in-progress book (UCD).
Italics within definitions are recommendations to see that entry.

::: WHAT DID I JUST READ? :::

As you Gentlepersons hopefully know or are at the ::: very ::: least now FINALLY aware of under that rock of yours, I am constructing a Cigar Dictionary. A book. It is yet to have been named. Its working title is "Unnamed Cigar Dictionary" (UCD). I will change that "As soon as possible" (ASAP). Nevertheless, the idea of the whole thing, the game plan, is that I will blog the process of creating & assembling the UCD on a non-scheduled basis.

Included in these blog posts will be my italicized thoughts regarding said creating & assembling process--and as we get closer to it being a book proper, the process of that, as well. THESE WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FINISHED BOOK. Please note that not everything, including the whole or part of definitions, will appear in the finished book.

To read other excerpts, search Unnamed Cigar Dictionary or UCD, in the Search Kaplowitz Media. field to the right of your screen. I need you Gentlepersons to get excited about this and not be able to wait to purchase it--whenever it finally is completed and available for said purchasing. NO TIMEFRAME.

You also read a quick review of a cigar much in keeping with the given excerpts.

EDITOR'S NOTE: apologies for having originally referred to this cigar as 'Habano Sweets' prior to correcting. That was my Cuban street name in the late '90s and I got confused. 

Disclaimer: I have never been to Cuba nor have had a street name.

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::: very :::

An Introduction to Mr. Barker (from The Sherlock Holmes Adventure of the Retired Colourman)

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An Introduction to Mr. Barker (from The Sherlock Holmes Adventure of the Retired Colourman) RETI, or Eight Things About Mr. Barker YOU WON'T BELIEVE NUMBER 6!!!

As the clock struck midnight on January 1, 2022, The Adventure of the Retired Colourman [RETI] entered the world of Public Domain. Soon thereafter, Twitter was blowing up at the newly found free-usage of Watson's in-canon hotness... "With your natural advantages, Watson, every lady is your helper and accomplice. What about the girl at the post-office, or the wife of the greengrocer? I can picture you whispering soft nothings with the young lady at the Blue Anchor, and receiving hard somethings in exchange. All this you have left undone." It continues to strike me odd, how everyone is always grasping at the sexualizing of these famed characters.

Me? I was being re-introduced to the character of Barker via a re-reading of the tale. But we'll get to that later. For now, let's dwell where all the others did. You see, instead of leading with his own beautiful face, Watson returned to Holmes with a strangely precise and ornate description of a wall. Thus leading into the most excellent rebuttal of "Cut out the poetry, Watson," said Holmes severely. "I note that it was a high brick wall." Our poor, poor, beset upon hunk of a beefcake. The story itself is not the topic here but I will say that I deviate from many, in that I really do appreciate the later ACD Sherlock Holmes installments. It's well-worthy of a read and, as I say, READ MORE.

Nevertheless, below I have pulled the instances which regard our man Barker. Note he appears just once in canon (making him tied 1-1 with the famed Irene Adler) here within the RETI pages.  After each instance is pulled, I'll supply you with my two-cents in the hopes of fleshing out his character. Unfortunately due to the on-going coin shortage, I cannot in good conscience accept your kind offer of change in return. 

Why this exercise? 

Because I'm much more interested in another private investigator living in the Holmes Universe, and the (somewhat maybe) pastiche adventures that might be told of him (perhaps even by myself if I can ever find time) than in the studliness of Dr. Watson. Call me weird, fine. I've been called worse. But do also understand that somewhere along the way, sticks and stones began breaking bones. & with that, we commence.

::: 1 :::

"No doubt! No doubt!" said Holmes. "A tall, dark, heavily moustached man, you say, with grey-tinted sun-glasses?" ... "And a Masonic tie-pin?" 

Here, Watson is detailing his laying eyes on our man to Holmes. There was no interaction between the two, to be clear. So what to extrapolate from this? Well, let's see: 'swarthy' fellow, a big one, and what says testosterone as much as a heavy mustache? Nothing, in answer to my own question. I am not sexualizing, mind you, in noting his high T-Levels, I am just adding here 'muscular' (or at the least solid) to "tall." 

It is not said taller than Holmes, who is known to be six-feet even. The average height of a man then was about five-foot-five. So I'd put Barker at around 5'11 and carrying it taller. Just a gut-feeling.

The sunglasses say much. They say that although a swarthy-leaning fellow, he had pale light eyes, as they are most sensitive to sunlight (thus securing his English descent beyond his surname, which we will come to). They also might speak to his want of a certain amount of anonymity, which could stem from his either dabbling in or having had dabbled in, transversely darker realms. 

I mention the past-tense partly because of the name Barker itself. It is of English descent, dating back to the 1200s. It's an occupational surname referring to those who stripped and prepared bark as part of the leather tanning process. Leather tanning is a rather gross bit of business. One so singularly stinky that its practitioners were often confined to the outskirts of town.

So, we can say his ancestry is of the lower working class. This in turn makes much of the Masonic tie pin he proudly displayed. Why proudly? Because he took strides to conceal his eyes but then prominently show his brotherhood. How better than a fraternal organization with which to create contacts and attain knowledge not born into and/or readily gotten in your hand-dealt given circles? 

Suffice to say, his Masonic connection and its display quite-well might show he is the first of his family to climb the social ladder unto this particular rung. If he was a 2nd-generation member would he be so proud or would it simply be the norm to have gained inclusion? So, a brawny detective of a lower class than Holmes. A real bootstrap puller-upper, he. (I'll not get into Holmes's lineage here, but you can on your own dime.) 

::: 2 :::

"That was a surprise, but an even greater one was to find that he was not alone in the sitting-room of our client. A stern-looking, impassive man sat beside him, a dark man with grey-tinted glasses and a large Masonic pin projecting from his tie." 

Wearing shades in-doors. Sketchy af!

Mainly though, this bit simply rehashes the previous in most ways insofar as Barker's visual characteristics. Beyond that, it does show the two, Holmes and Barker, kept company, and most likely not for the first time as we'll soon see. Ah, the stern outward appearance of a self-made man. "Impassive." Emotionless. I don't believe him to be a soldier but I'd hazard he has a code. Dark. Again, we read dark. We do not read black, and ACD would have written that (most likely more profanely). 

I could be biased but wouldn't a touch of Semitic blood work here? Sephardic peoples were in place, and are typically taller and darker than their Ashkenazi brethren. Perhaps that places his ancestry more in-town however (banking LOL). "Gypsies" are an oft-mentioned lot in canon, and often out-on town's edges or other less desirable locales.  Although I'd stab that a man of Jewish lineage would have more luck becoming a Mason, and Jews relegated to the outskirts of towns is not new news. I mean the two have mixed elsewhere, see: Klezmer, and me. Plus, he could be a mere mutt, of a bit this, a bit that.

::: 3 :::

"This is my friend Mr. Barker," said Holmes. "He has been interesting himself also in your business, Mr. Josiah Amberley, though we have been working independently. But we both have the same question to ask you!"

Friend. Another pointed finger toward them being previously familiar. How Barker comes into play is that whilst one party sought the aid of Holmes, the other tapped Barker. Of perhaps some interest here is that the man who hired Holmes is actually GUILTY; having the hope that hiring the great Sherlock Holmes would, of itself, clear his bad name. BECAUSE WHO WOULD BE THAT FUCKING DUMB?

 

From that, as if there were any doubt, we can calculate Holmes as being a good stretch more famous than Barker. However, the simple act of Holmes conferring with Barker here shows the latter in a decent and legitimate light. I do not see the two being direct rivals (although we'll hear canonically differently in a mere tick of time),

::: 4 :::

"I have a cab at the door," said our taciturn companion.

From this bit of canonical evidence, it is clear Barker has a cab at the door. Although he is reserved about it. Add 'reserved' to the stoic stillness of his growing character traits list--but I feel that this is all more of a deviation from his normal ways--which would be indicated by his overplaying the soft speaking, big stick carrying in the presence of a man he wants to impress most & presently (Holmes). He is at his Sunday best, I feel, so much that t continued to catch Watson's eye.

:::  5 :::

"The old colourman had the strength of a lion in that great trunk of his, but he was helpless in the hands of the two experienced man-handlers."

Our Barker is an experienced man-handler then. Interesting. Much of grappling is learned quite young and often passed-down at least in its impetus. Not to brag, but I recently became quite winded rolling on the living room floor with my 11-year-old son. But because of our scrappings, he does know some holds and some escapes. 

Forgive me if I take some license by positing that perhaps Barker might, this in mind, come from grapplers--man-handlers. Interesting. Perhaps, even from the way-back Thief-takers, who begat Bow Street Runners, who would become the modern police force. Thief-takers of the ~1700s were hired privately to capture criminals. (The BSRs were a cleaned-up version of the oft-dirty that, and again--led to Bobbies.) 

(Parenthetical redundancy.) 

But granted that's far-fetched. More than likely, Barker was, however, a different sort than Holmes. He operates in Surrey. Now posh to my meager understandings, it was then quite rustic and somewhat underpopulated as compared to Holmes's London. We do recall how Holmes felt about the country-side, don't we? ...

"But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser. Had this lady who appeals to us for help gone to live in Winchester, I should never have had a fear for her. It is the five miles of country which makes the danger." - The Adventure of the Copper Beeches

Simply, and taking nothing away from Holmes and his self-defense (swordsman, boxer, single-stick, and of course Baritsu) skills, Barker was operating alone on an island for much of the time. Of note here is that he appears unarmed. I'm guessing he spoke quite well in certain situations prior to employing his large swarthy frame. (Swarthy) This is not to say he'd be at all averse to a bit of pew-pew. I simply have him pegged as a blunter instrument than Holmes in every way.

::: 6 :::

"I've left Barker to look after the formalities," said Holmes. "You had not met Barker, Watson. He is my hated rival upon the Surrey shore. When you said a tall dark man it was not difficult for me to complete the picture. He has several good cases to his credit, has he not, Inspector?" "He has certainly interfered several times," the inspector answered with reserve. "His methods are irregular, no doubt, like my own. The irregulars are useful sometimes, you know. You, for example, with your compulsory warning about whatever he said being used against him, could never have bluffed this rascal into what is virtually a confession."

To be considered a rival! An endorsement of good cases! Praise from Caeser! "He has certainly interfered several times" speaks to a more ham-fisted assist. When Holmes likens his methods to his own here, it's just insofar as they are both not official police. Not that Barker shares his modus operandi. Quite the contrary from the picture drawn on the scant lines given. We see a man of lesser thought and greater action. Blunter. A burly fellow swinging his dick, Excusez mon français. A bit of a wild west bounty hunter, I daresay.

A man who wants credit.

Hated rival, I am certain is tongue-in-cheek and for the amusement of the official police inspector in their midst. Of note, I feel as though Holmes is really feeling his naughty anti-hero self here--perhaps a contact high from rubbing shoulders with Barker? Although Holmes is 'irregular' he is by now quite the regular insider. Barker just ain't.

::: 7 :::

"and as to Barker, he has done nothing save what I told him." 

Here, we see Holmes easing Inspector MacKinnon's nerves about who exactly gets the case-cracking credit. Yes, Sherlock Holmes is very much in the lead, as it should be. Hmmm... I wonder if Barker has ever worked under Holmes's employ? I bet he has. Especially as the great detective inched closer and closer toward his own bee-keeper retirement in Sussex Downs. Hey, is that only about 40 miles from Surrey? I'm bad with maps.

::: 8 :::

"Now, you rascal, what are you doing in there?" [Our man Barker to Holmes himself whenst the two met whilst Holmes was half in-half out a pantry window.] "When I could twist my head round I looked into the tinted spectacles of my friend and rival, Mr. Barker. It was a curious foregathering and set us both smiling." 

WOW. I did so save the best for last. Let's dissect, shall we? Of course, we shall.

"Now, you rascal, what are you doing in there?" RASCAL? He did not know it was Holmes yet, but that's mighty big talk for a man I see as substantially younger than the other. That alone connotes all sorts of personality traits. Or perhaps he did recognize him and not let on as a rib? "when I could" ... meaning he could not immediately upon being nabbed. Remember: man-handler. Remember: Holmes as no slouch. Then the noted familiarity and finally--"smiling." 

These are ::: very ::: deep waters.

::: etc :::

While the information listed above is all we know of Mr. Barker in canon, we can see a bit more of him--literally see--as the character appeared on May 1, 1965, in the  BBC Sherlock Holmes series. Naturally in "The Retired Colourman" (Season 1 Episode 11). There, he was portrayed by Peter Henchie. His attire is that of a more rough and ready look, somewhat of a disheveled longshoreman vibing, perhaps due to him seemingly wearing a sort of pea coat. [I posted a photo of him on my Instagram.]

Full disclosure: I have that one noted image of him, and have not watched the episode. Maybe later, I will.

::: reference material :::

IMDb

Wikipedia

:::

I'd like to take a moment to remind you kind Gentlepersons that I write these thoughts under the assumption of you having read these adventures. They are readily available everywhere, including for free at Project Gutenberg as well as Wikisource, where you can listen to it read, as well. (Most likely.)

Also, please check out my series of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes reviews/thoughts. Simply use the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen and plug in either particular adventures contained within that collection, or The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes to view them in their entirety.

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::: very :::

Cornell & Diehl Pipe Tobacco Billy Budd in Review

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Cornell & Diehl Pipe Tobacco Billy Budd (Melville at Sea) in Review

CATEGORY: Cigar leaf-based
BLEND: Burley, Cigar Leaf, Latakia, Virginia
FLAVORING: no

BLENDER: Craig Tarlar
MANUFACTURER: Cornell & Diehl
CUT: Coarse cut

PIPE: Old German Clay no. 15
INTENSITY: Medium-Full/Full

NOTES:

Leather | Wood | Pepper-spice

I love Latakia! I love cigar leaf! However, I am cautious because I also love tuna fish and chocolate ice cream--but wouldn't stir them together and dive in with a spoon. I digress. Have you ever taken the remains of the previous day's last cigar and packed it into the next morning's first pipe? C'mon, live a little. Be a person. It's acrid. This is a much paler shade of that phenomenon, but it is t/here. I'm a bit hesitant to smoke this around my special lady friend for fear it'll put hair on her chest. THIS IS A WHALE OF A BLEND LOL (a little bit of Melvilleian humor). Big chewy smoke. Smoky and meaty and bittersweet out ahead with a salty leathery back-end. Fuzzy pinewood.

Cigar smokers looking for a point of entry into pipes have at this. That odd grassy note is Virginia leaf, and it lemony-cleanses some in the mid-section here. The burley blends in smoothly enough but does add a bit of ashiness as the bowl burns-down. I think it lends itself to the structure-some. Woodsy like timber and charred but not scorched, mainly. [I'm put in mind of Fig Newtons.] The whole profile seems wrapped in leather and via progression, it roughs up, softens--gets worked in. The worse it looks, the better it feels. Buckwheat and a tick of molasses. Baking spices and black pepper. Fusty and dusty and could use some more focus.

This seems like one to cellar well. The cut is hearty chunks that pack and burn well. Sweetens toward mid-bowl, almost to buckwheat honey, then that acrid tendency re-rears up near the heel. Big smoke out-put sits somewhere between English blend and mild-medium cigar; not a terrible room-note but definitely one for a smoke-friendly environment. Seems a bit dry out of the tin, but as mentioned burns well. Ash is powdery but in the end does dottle-up considerably-so. Ultimately, I find it lacking (strangely) in oomph, a napping strongman? (Under a damp blanket, come the end.)

TASTE: B+
AROMA: B
BURN: B

FINAL GRADE: B
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

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::: very :::

Happy Birthday, Sherlock Holmes! (Observed)

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Happy Birthday, Sherlock Holmes! (Observed)

I like a good party as much as the next person who doesn't at all like a good party. Birthday parties are the best parties. I also don't wish to trip the light pedantic. "Come, and trip it as ye go, On the light fantastick toe." - Milton. Nor do I wish to be a Debbie Downer. Even Debbie Downers don't wish to be that. So they masquerade as rockstar free-spirits and get face tats and share thoughts like BEING KIND IS PUNK. I digress, what I'm alluding to in that regrettable mini-tirade is of the other focus of this blog. 

I suppose you might call me a dissident and I do wish everyone well.

But haven't I already digressed? Sherlock Holmes was born in the year 1854. This we know thanks to "a tall gaunt man of sixty" - His Last Bow. That anchors that and since I wisely trust the maths & chronologies of (certain) others more-so than my own, 'thus it is written' - to borrow briefly from the KJV. How-so-ever, the January 6th part of the remainder of the equation supposedly answering the Holmes DOB question--well, that's less solid, it would seem. Evidence is circumstantial and merely + vaguely two-fold from what I've gathered.

The first bit of hypothesizing comes from the admittingly brilliant Sherlockian mind of one William S. Baring-Gould, for there can never be two, although perhaps it's not his finest work. It follows thusly: in The Valley of Fear, we begin on January 7th and upon that beginning, Holmes appears grumpy-testy (but when doesn't he?). From that, it is surmised that the consulting detective is nursing a hangover from the night before's yearly festivities. This is, I'd imagine, used more as a supporting bit of evidence to what I'll share next (one would imagine.)  but it is flawed. 

While Holmes does imbibe quite regularly within canonical pages, I do not recall him ever doing-so to any great excess that would lead him into a rough next morning. Although, in fairness, he is a noted practitioner of sleeping in late. Also, the owning of a gasogene shows him to fully adore whisky and sodas. Suffice to say though, I feel this proof alone lacks in proofiness and frankly doesn't hold sparkling water. Not to mention more against it on the immediate heels of my dismissal of it--

but does the image of Holmes drunk at his own middle-aged party scan in your mind whatsoever? If yes, in your conjured flashback sequence is Holmes in a conga line or doing the limbo at a Tiki Bar? You just might be writing fanfic either way. Is he cuddling up to Watson? Yup. Fanfic. [NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.]

The promised second bit of supposed documentation in support of the 6th of January is the brainchild of none other than Christopher Morley. It's at this point I begin to question any merit I might have in casting doubtful shadowing upon the opining of these great men. I'll forge bravely ahead nonetheless simply because stupid and brave are at times utterly indistinguishable. It's a Shakespeare thing, this idea's root. Namely The Twelfth Night, which Holmes directly quotes not once but twice in canon. 

::: very ::: tenuously so much so that I fail to see how--although I may have missed it in my research--this points to the 12th day of Christmas... OK and laces into The Feast of Epiphany... gotcha. But, I do not see how this ties in whatsoever in any direct or otherwise manner, to our 1/6 date; and what I (erroneously?) declared to be the lead to the previous statement's support. We got nada strung-together from there-to-birth. That's it. That's all. A cut cord, if you will. So it's January 6th and Holmes is 168 years-old today and also today, I am still reeling from the unexpected loss of Betty White (99). (h/t Phil Kurut)

Perhaps it's that immeasurable grief which now makes visions of Holmes preparing for tonight's celebrations seem somehow correct. "Here dwell together still two men of note Who never lived and so can never die." - Vincent Starrett. I bet Sherlock Holmes calls it an early evening in any event--the English countryside bees, after all, they wait for no man. Myself, I'll now light a cigar in honor of this great and glorious day, perchance to be followed later by a spiced rum tropical something.

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::: very :::

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars Muestra de Saka #NLMTHA in Review

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Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars Muestra de Saka #NLMTHA in Review

WRAPPER: undisclosed
BINDER: undisclosed
FILLER: undisclosed

FORMAT: Lancero (738)
ORIGIN: Joya de Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Full

NOTES:

Citrus | Spice | Oak

You got a tart cherry and a wedge of (at times chemical-laced) lemon out of the gate they're both aggressively pushed ahead by a raw hardwood. Behind that, there's some semi-sweet chocolate just waiting there, getting elbowed in line by a black peppercorn and red pepper flake gambit. It's all a tick helter-skelter but not terribly-so. Digging out trenches for nuance-placement requires a sharp shovel in this format. Moving into the 2/3, it's calmer and a half-bit of lemon meringue softer. Still herky-jerky but lesser. I feel like I'm trying to parallel park a supercar. 

The sour notes are quite refreshingly crisp. Like cleaning out your eyeballs with rubbing alcohol. lol j/k. OK. Blackstrap molasses. Anise. brown sugar. A soaring raw hardwood smoothes into lively oak that dances like no one is watching. "Hey oak, I'm right here. Watching." A new cask vibe. Lots of red/purple fruits that are not-quite-ripe yet. The retro-hale singes nose hairs but sweetens the abraded palate. Almost to the half-way mark, cola floods in, making this whole thing nigh effervescent. Jittery too. Is 'anger' a proper tasting note? Is anxiety? ... and if you gaze into the cigar, the cigar gazes also into you.

The draw is excellent for any vitola and coats the smoke-hole with shrapnel from the top-note 'splosion. I need to stop taking the shape into account. "She's got a pretty face. For a heavy girl." STOP IT. Grapefruit in the 3/3 pushes out everything but spice and a vague lingering of chocolatey back-end. Burns on an even if not perfect line, coming nowhere close to needing re-touching. Nice smoke out-put but leaves in its wake a surprisingly timid room-note off wispy aroma. The thing is rolled tight, stays tight, and doesn't budge an iota. This just in: Draw stiffens in the final act.

I don't often supply recommendations as part of reviews, but if you're holding onto one of these--hold on to it a bit longer. Some more age might just lengthen its many short glimpses at brilliance. Hopefully by offering more balance and some kindlier weight. As it stands, it's great for taking out on the freeway, but I'm certain to kill a person pulling out of this damned parking spot.

TASTE: B-
DRAW: B+
BURN: B+
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: B
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

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::: very :::

DOUBLE FEATURE: Episodes of Live from the Throne Room and 1st & 15th

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Live from the Throne Room 

A Stolen Thrones Cigars Program

"Lists"

Lee "The List" Marsh of Stolen Throne joins me as we go LIVE on Instagram to discuss year-end lists, stuff in 2022, and wardrobe malfunctions. You can watch it on-demand over at the Kaplowitz Media. Instagram thingy under its IGTV tab. You can really tell I had a heck of a nap before this one! 

Don't forget to follow Stolen Throne Cigars and Kaplowitz Media. Next stop Tennessee! (They have internet there now.)

@kaplowitzmedia
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:::

1st & 15th Podcast 

no. 22 "Hence the Plaque."

Phil and I are back for another round and here's what he had to say about it: "Kap and Phil discuss calorie counting? Wow. They also relive the glory days of their athletic careers. Define "careers"...and "athletic". If you listen long enough, someone will be offended. Apparently, they missed the Holidays."

1st & 15th is available on Anchor, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, & Stitcher. (& probably more.) Search us up, rate, & review!

::: very :::