Deep in flavor. Deep in your mind.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Kaplowitz Reads Kaplowitz 1/31/17

B"H
I woke up, lit up a Crowned Heads Jericho Hill, done did this up.
Give a listen, gentlepersons? Please press play below.
As always, the kindly loaning of yer kind attentions is verily appreciated.


Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

Look for me on Facebook:
The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it via the buttons below.
Sharing is a quick, easy, and free way to help me grow my audience.

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PayPal: paypal.me/Kaplowitz
L'shalom

January 2017 Pound for Pound Boxing Rankings

B"H
Below are my boxing p4p rankings for the month of January 2017. Hey, thanks for reading, gentlepersons. For yer doing-so, I shall try really hard to remember to include these posts in my Kaplowitz Radio audio endeavors. Lists such as these threaten to become as shallow and pedantic as Lois Griffin's meatloaf, lest some accompanying chat doth occur.

Now, without any further ado, adon't, or amaybe --
1. Roman Gonzalez 46-0-0 (38)
WBC Junior Bantamweight Champion

2. Gennady Golovkin 36-0-0 (33)
IBF, WBA, WBC Middleweight Champion

3. Terence Crawford 30-0-0 (21)
WBC, WBO Jr Welterweight Champion

4. Andre Ward 31-0-0 (15)
WBO, IBF, WBA Light Heavyweight Champion

5. Saul "Canelo" Alvarez 48-1-1 (34)
WBO Jr. Middleweight Champion

6. Guillermo Rigondeaux 17-0-0 (11)
WBA, WBO Super Bantamweight Champion

7. Keith Thurman 27-0-1 (22)
WBA Welterweight Champion

8. Leo Santa Cruz 33-1-1 (18)
WBA Super World Featherweight

9(T). Carl Frampton 23-1-0 (14)
/Sergey Kovalev 30-1-1 (26)
L'shalom

Monday, January 30, 2017

Flatbed Panacea Azul Cameroon - Cigar Review

B"H
THE CIGAR
Flatbed Cigar Co.
Panacea Azul Cameroon
6 x 60 660
w. Cameroon
b. Cuban Seed Dominican
f. Dominican, Nicaraguan, and PA Broadleaf

"A beautiful Cameroon wrapper filled with the finest filler tobacco and bound with a strong Cuban seed binder. This blend has a little bit for every Panacea fan (aka: Flatbeders). Filler is our signature Piloto and Olor ligero, Seco Cubano...however....we also added a touch of Pennsylvania Broadleaf. So, Azul has the Panacea signature notes...but with a twist of Broadleaf." www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com 
K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
appearance
k a p l o W i t z
Motor oil sheen over dark chocolate canvas of even 'nuff complexion. Some burnt sienna under-hues rise up more at the minimal veinage. Seams are tight, even, nigh invisible. Dirty blonde, brownette, auburn, and brunette locks are at the foot and trimmed/packed well. Some visible lumps on shaft. Cap is a bit roughly set on somewhat short shoulders, but well 'nuff affixed. Small trace amounts of fine toothiness.

construction
k a p l  o W i t z
A firmly packed 6 x 60 such as this 'un feels a bit like a war club. A slick and lumpy war club. Pack suffers no softening on toasting/lighting. Draw is a consistent medium tension yielding an even-keeled heaping portion to smoke-hole. Seams hold fast till a tick of cosmetic-only loosening at the half-mark. Quickly smokes through, n'er to reappear. At the nub, all is cool, Daddy-O, and let Momma know it's still firm.

combustion
k a p l O w i t z
Nice even burn-line, gate-to-wire -- imperfect on a 1/4-tick of wobble, but no re-touch is even thought upon. Ash shows tooth which don't appear near as much on top-leaf. Builds its burnt offerings in a narrow heather-grey spectrum a' marbling with a slight browning amidst their sheath build. Only a single occasion of a singular flake, twice. Nice billows of thick eggshell clouds off draw. Resting smoke is a bit more wispy, natch, and of the same complexion. If not smoked a tick more oft than normal, it doth threaten to peter.

flavors
k a p l o W i t z
Cold draw is a mocha latte with a slice of cinnamon raisin bread. Once lit and heated, remains much the same through 1/3, with an addition of black walnuts and overall toastines around a leathery tobacco core. Bittersweet on draw; sweetbitter on lengthening finish with a tangy lilt. During the 2/3, that core is presented in a much more forward manner. Espresso drink-cum-French roast coffee soars. Chocolate ebbs some. More toasty bits lacing the profile with a black pepper addition. Verily a spiced peppery leather retro-hale thru schnozolla. A new and separate oat/barley grain addition arises with a hardwood note. Falling back of fruits and florals. 3/3 is again similar as the rest, with a clearer peek at hickory through the woods. Consistent more-so than lacking in transitions. Nice nuance with less than that complexity, but a passable amount of such. Not boring, tedious, nor laborious -- but a quite nice unpretentious peek at some good leaf.

body
k a p l O w i tz
Leathery oil sets into my cheeks as early as the cold draw. Don't so much grow from there, instead, staying at a lace-curtain take on medium. Tends to see its finish drop off the table like a Sandy Koufax curve-ball. Slightly dry insofar as moisture-level a' palate. Registers half a tongue-tingle on the tongue-tingleometer.

strength
k a p L o w i t z
Not a head-spinner nor upper-lip schvitzer. A slight harumph in the chest -- a harumph+ zetz in the challah-basket.

aroma
k a p L o w i t z
Cold schnozzing gives a fruity floral sweetness along the shaft with the addition of spiced cocoa at the foot; earthern core. One heated into room-note, there's a quite straight forward essence of the draw core -- leathery and natural tobacco. Some seasoned woods.

FINAL GRADE
****B+****
Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

Look for me on Facebook:
The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it via the buttons below.
Sharing is a quick, easy, and free way to help me grow my audience.

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L'shalom

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Cigars City Podcast - Foundry Chillin' Moose

B"H
This week, we kibbitz over a Foundry Chillin' Moose offering about politics, politics, politics. For which I give you my complete and utter apologies.

Give a listen by pressing play below, gentlepersons.
Thanks as always, for the kindly loaning of yer kind attentions.


Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

Look for me on Facebook:
The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it via the buttons below.
Sharing is a quick, easy, and free way to help me grow my audience.

If you’ve enjoyed a buncha these posts, please consider donating.
PayPal: paypal.me/Kaplowitz
L'shalom

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Pegasus World Cup Invitational, an Ali-Holmes Laced Retrospective

B"H
GULFSTREAM PARK -- Hallandale Beach, FL
"...While visions of Muhammad Ali versus Larry Holmes played in my head;
And mamma in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap, ..."
California Chrome and Arrogate  -- the suspected match-race nigh even-moolah tandem at post-time  -- found each-other fromst 'cross a crowded room, and did-so early-on. Even though Arrogate broke fast from the one-slot and Chromie a tick more slowly and from the 12th; all which served to make their quick connection so much more the fodder for a promised and epic tale. And it felt for a moment like... like... and then came them above-mentioned visions doth dancing in my head.

As they turned for the stretch, Arrogate, abscess in right hind leg or not, found an extra gear that the six year-old Chromie couldn't meet his four year-old adversary in. As it turnt out, each champion steed was eased at the end. California eased out of the race by Mr. Victor Espinoza and into pony-playing history books and out to stud, finishing ninth and beaten by 29 1/2 lengths. Whilst Mr. Mike Smith noted humbly and almost apologetically that Arrogate was on equine cruise control the final football field length. He ran the inaugural world's richest mile and an eighth in 1:47, did the grey/roan -- fast 'nuff to win by 4 1/2 lengths and too thrill trainer Bob Baffert from his potential post American Pharoah doldrums.

"Chrome just didn't fire his race today at all," Hall of Fame jock Mr. Smith said via USA Today "Believe me, that's not the California Chrome I know."

CC's trainer Mr. Art Sherman concurred: "He didn't look real comfortable," & continued, "he didn't break as sharp as he usually does and then he got hung out so wide. But down the backside he had no excuse. ... He looked like he was listless. I don't know why. This is the first bad race he's ever run for me."

Arrogate won his connections $7M and parimutuel partakers $3.80 $2.80 $2.20. Shaman Ghost $1.75M & $8.60 $5.80, Neolithic $1M & $6.00. Following in order of finish were: Keen Ice, War Story, Noble Bird, Semper Fortis, Breaking Lucky, California Chrome, Prayer for Relief, War Envoy, and ...*
Misters Muhammad Ali v Larry Holmes was billed as "The Last Hurrah." T'weren't any more than this inaugural Pegasus running. The October 2nd 1980 fight ended with Ali's trainer, Art Sherman -- uhm -- Angelo Dundee, throwing in the towel after the 10th.

"It was also revealed after the fight that Ali had been examined at the Mayo Clinic, and the results were shocking. He had admitted to tingling in his hands, and slurring of his speech. With the conclusiveness of Ali's loss to Holmes, and Ali's worrying medical condition, it seemed incredible that he fought again." -- Day when time finally beat Ali, The Telegraph. 11 December 2006.

Methinks, or at least mewonders, if something will be revealed as to California Chrome a la those lines. A thing which shouldn't've happened, perchance? Remember, gentlepersons: if not for this race and its much ballyhooed purse, the last we'd have seen of this popular son of Lucky Pulpit would'a been two races ago in a losing effort to Arrogate at the Breeders' Cup Classic.

Best of California Dreamin' from here on out to a deserving California Chrome.
*... anyone know if Argentinian champ Eragon finished yet?
L'shalom

Friday, January 27, 2017

18 Sabbaths - Jas Sum Kral Red Knight - 9th Sabbath

B"H
THE CIGAR
Jas Sum Kral Red Knight
5 x 50 Robusto
Closed-foot, Pig-tailed
w. Ecuadorian Habano
b. Mexican San Andres & Jalapa Seco
f. Undisclosed

Check out my initial write-up and talkie re: this JSK offering HERE.
This is Serie II of my 18 Sabbaths project. Please read all about it HERE.
K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K least, Z most
Construction W
Combustion O
Flavors W
Body W
Strength W
&
Sweet L
Sour O
Salty A
Bitter W
Umami W
&
Complexity P
Nuance O
Transition P
Balance O
Smoothness O
&
Animal I
Spicy W
Woody O
Vegetal L
Earthy W
Chemical A
EDITOR'S NOTES
A throw-back style of the Kaplowitz Scale. Please to remember: I am grading K - Z, least to most, 1 - 9, on amounts of stated categories, not my likings thereof. More objective, than subjective. My apologies to one Mr. Steve Saka, whom this all gives quite the headache to.

As to stick at hand: a bit flatter this Sabbath, with a loss of the trademarked JSK cherry note and greater smoky muffledness.

Whilst posted on the Sabbath, this is an automatically generated thing, gentlepersons. These are not written during the Sabbath, but typically on a Friday noon-ish. Shabbot shalom and Gut Shabbos -- and to the goyim: hey, have a heckuva Saturday!
Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

Look for me on Facebook:
The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it via the buttons below.
Sharing is a quick, easy, and free way to help me grow my audience.

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L'shalom

Cutting & Cutters, A Cigar Primer

B"H
This is soiten to be a post of vast length. Lettuce jump right in, gentlepersons. The snip. [Insert mohel joke here.] [Insert insertion joke here.] Quite suddenly, we're going nowherest fast. Here's a flourish which I'll follow with a sub-title featuring authoritative capitalization. We'll see how that works...
CUTTING A CIGAR
Here, have some stock-writing along-side flourish, I writ verily a long time a-go:
Further on Each of the Eleven (11) Commandments of Cigar Etiquette III

3. Biteth thee caps of thine stogies and useth not cutting implementations.
The cap is a separate piece which comes off when nibbled wetly. Cutters [may] cause damage.

A Brief Lesson in Cigar Anatomy:
The cap of a cigar is a separate bit of leaf entirely, from the body, or wrapper, of the cigar. It is fastened in its place by a flour/water (usually) mixture. Not stickier than that, regardless of methodology. It is meant to come off. Wet it in your mouth and nibble allowingly. Although note I said "stogie" and not "super premium offering you can't tell your wife how much you spent on." If that's what ya got, please to see carefully the sub-title below: THE CIGAR CUTTER.

I believe that the word "bite" has scared off some. Do not maul -- allow. "Facilitate," as my psychologist social worker wife doth say. You will be doing far less damage than many a cutter. I'm looking at you, V-cutter gentlepersons (more later). How far must you insist on cutting into the wrapper, into the meat of the stogie, when 'none' is a viable option? For the sake of the faint-of-heart, I shant delve into pinching a cap, though try it out on a pig-tail'd offering one particularly brave and robust day. Salt of the earth, you'll be.

Too, the tact of the bite helps add to the sensory exploration on said stogie. taste it. Let it linger. Nibble. Take cold pulls along the languid way. Unless yer a Hindu or something -- you're only here once. Enjoy the journey. Let it unwrap in your juices, gentlepersons. My daughter was born in a hurry; doc ran into the room in a full sprint. He caught her, then shrugged. A center-fielder snagging a ball from over the fence, and much to his own surprise. Threw her up on her mom's chest without cleaning or spanking out a cry. "Life's dirty." He said robustly, in an I kid ya not Captain Morgan-esque stance. I remember being very dizzy and scared, with a sense of ominous foreboding...

Remember what I said, the cap is separate from the stick. When it's moist and you've well enjoyed the pre-light experience of your mutual introduction. Release it with your lusty and skilled teeth. Spit it out, and light up.

Enjoy. It's both the classy and the classless way to do so. Be like me, Kaplowitz. Unless I'm reviewing said cigar in an official manner, then I cut. It's kinda expected, I think. So in fairness to all, I cut. HOLY PLOT TWIST, BAT-MAN! Then... then...
THE CIGAR CUTTER
YOU: Whoa whoa whoa... how much do I cut off?
ME: the least amount possible, least amount more if needed.

Measure twice, cut once.
You can always add more salt, but ya can't take it back.
Tell me why, there's no meat behind my fly -- sloppy Rabbi.

Get the gist, gentlepersons?

PREAMBLE: There are three main types of cutters: Guillotine (straight cut), Punch Cut (Poke a hole), and V-cut (A horrid, horrid gash). 

When most folks say cigar cutter, they mean the Guillotine variety. This remains a very good option for the beginner, if for no other reason that supply is long on this particular style. Also, you can use them as an intermediate and even advanced consewer, as well. Most recommend the double Guillotine over its single cousin, and they are correct in doing-so. Single cousins are odd creatures who tend to be okay getting friend-zoned and prefer cats over dogs and San Francisco over Oakland. Mainly, though, and in this context - a single blade Guillotine is too akin to the desperate results of kitchen knife/cutting board. There stands to be squishing on account of blunt surface involvements. Wanna step up the fancy and potentially stab yerself in the schmeckel when you sit? Hey, try a cigar scissor.

Lettuce then discuss ye olde Punch Cut. As a fan of milder smoking experiences, I have oft employed this tact. Well, shy of oft. By punching a smallish hole through the cap in lieu of cutting it fully away, less smoke is ear-marked for your smoke-hole. What this method says about you is that you are either a knowledgeable mild cigar aficionado, or you are a scavenger of the sale bin and got this on the cheap since so many fewer smokers line up to purchase this option. Either reason, I might add, would end in me liking the cut of yer jib. Also, try punching the slope of a torpedo or Belicoso format and angling the smoke right at yer tongue, then palate. These sorta exercises are reasons why I am not invited out a lot. A note: tar tends to build up with this method -- purging is recommended. What is purging? Later. Later, is what purging is.

Now we get to the V-Cut. This is a sloppy way of cutting dangerously far into the cigar portion of the cigar and thus has the opposite effect of the Punch Cut. You'll flood your smoke-hole with smoke and your smoke will most likely be burning unevenly as you do, especially since yer probably smoking a 64 ring gauge offering, ya American Market sheep. I kid, I kid because I love. Please allow me to love further. If this is your personal preference, you tend to call all of your friends Broseph and, also, there are not many opportunities for you to say Broseph. Seriously tho, if you go this way, buy a very good cutter and keep it sharp as a matzoh. lest yer cigar be twice as crumby.

I don't mean to make you gentlepersons schvitz, but choosing the wrong cutter led to Michael Jordan's retirement. Look it up. In light of this largess importance, I believe I have handled this EXTRAORDINARILY well and you are quite welcome for this cigar primer portion. Now lettuce all splash some water on our faces and change our socks and then delve on into --
TOASTING & LIGHTING
Meh. Next time.
*
*       *
POSTSCRIPT: I would like to share just a tick mo'. Funny (not haha) how word travels fast 'roud the lifestyle. At the time of my writing this, I can actually trace the latest bit a' word directly to its nameless herein source. Succinctly? There's a lot of "alternative facts" passed around. Summation? It is perfectly both fine and dandy to use something other than a punch on a well affixed triple cap. 'Nuff.
Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

Look for me on Facebook:
The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it via the buttons below.
Sharing is a quick, easy, and free way to help me grow my audience.

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L'shalom

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Don Rafa Cigars - Cigar Review

B"H
THE CIGAR
Don Rafa Cigars
7 x 50 Churchill
w. Ecuadorian
b./f. Nicaraguan
m. Esteli, Nicaragua

"Don Rafa is one of the world’s premier luxury cigars brands. Handcrafted in the Dominican Republic & Nicaragua, Don Rafa Cigars are made to the highest quality standards using only the supreme, most exceptional, aged tobaccos. Every detail, from meticulous wrapper selection to the complex processes of aging and blending, receives the utmost accommodation in the manufacture of each cigar."
www.DonRafaCigars.com
ACT I
The greasiest stick I recall trying to shoe-horn from its cello in maybe forever. Tight seams, minimal veins, lotsa espresso bean marbling on a Hershey's canvas with cinnamon under-hue. -firm packing with the slightest pinchability responding in a lively spring-back. Zilch hard/soft spots. Well balanced in my oiled mitt. Triple cap is precisely hewn. At the other are densely packed brownette leaves. Chocolate spices on schnozzing the shaft. I touch my nose to the oiliness and hope I don't get a pimple. Cold draw is a -full tension'd resistance and offers notes of candied almonds, nutmeg, and sweetly spiced cedar.

Picante and with a strength that's making my temples pulsate only a few draws in. Body is an oily leather and building nutty paste. Cream. Oy. One of those sticks that feels like it should come with caloric information to plug into my "I'll never be a fatty again" smartphone app. Brownie is the chocolate note, speaking of fat. Burn-line is missing on evening-out, I imagine due to its wrapper greez. Draw is still a -full resistance but shows signs of loosening. Profile is -full outta the gate, and we shall see how it wires. Still, I'm not getting the feeling of smoking on a dare -- it's quite a relaxing thing, this Don Rafa. Would be good to nightcap pair it with an evening distilled libation. Perhps oe made in a bathtub. Positively lip-smacking and heady in terms of flavors and strength. I would not pair it with walking -- or standing. Or tring two tipe an reeview'

Espresso with two inches of bitter crema a-top. Black pepper. Chili pepper. Roasted saltiness. An under-belly of black top-soil is being delivered another truck full. Body is developing a picante tongue tingle. Texture is motor oil. Ash is medium-grey marbling with toothy crystals a' silver. Dense and oily, but too cracked in a single spot of its sheath. Holds the entire opening act of burnt offerings, and I do not think I can convince it to do other-wise. A retro-hale is spice and peppers which fall to the palate as a chocolate caramel candy bar. Legs are so dang long I don't see wherest they end; all spice and sweet with a peppery nasal ghosting.

ACT II
Strength dials back to a medium, as body hits the full mark. Flavors are medium+ with some dialing back of picante-nesses. Still a red-spice fest of nutmeg led cinnamon and cumin with chili and black pepper accompaniment. Leather has come up. Chocolate hath gone down. Enough rich top-soil to have a steroidal-looking rose garden of some notable size. Caramel is static. Through the schnoz on a retro-hale -- all pepper and spice and my Rabbi standing over me reciting a barucha as I curl up in the fetal position. Ah, luxury.

Some bit into the 2/3 I thunk off the heavy ash and do-so with the purpose of preventing tunneling and removing unneeded insulation of char. Nothing makes me think that may be an issue other than the thick, greeezeee top-leaf. I flick my Bic just in case. Ash is well paler now. line is not perfect, but comes outta the slight re-touch as perfect as its been. Flavors return to their -full heights. Smoke out-put, which had been on the low side of average, now hits the other end a' average. Room note is burnt nose hair and chocolate spices. Some rich leather. Packing is down to a medium+ with the same lively spring-back off the Charmin squeeze test. Draw is still mo' snug than I'd like. Finish is becoming mo' peppers than spice. Almond paste is soaring on draw. The over-all vision I get is red. I see red, gentlepersons. I am on my porch, facing my house. Oh. My house is red. Still...

At the mid-point, we hollow out and a re-touch bordering on re-light is mandated. Transition is toward a much more toasty profile with a very grain-forward delivery. A tanginess meets picante finish and tongue tingles like tongue tingling is goin' outta style. Style. I needed to restock my schmatta stock, for the first time in years, I went back to proper bandana from plain white -- will keep you gentlepersons posted. Grapefruit and pith, on-board... I'm speaking of the Don Rafa, again.

ACT III
Mellower, but still a kick to ye olde tuchus. Another re-light. Another soon there-after on account a' petering out. Some coming-up of seams around char. Pack density down to a medium. Draw still tight-ish. I re-touch/light and have remembrances of playing chess with my father as his end-stage Parkinson's disease hampered the use of his hands. He'd tell me where to move his piece -- and win every-time. A suicide type of thing on my part -- here we go. Re-light. Much more chocolate now with a somewhat interfering red spice rack. Draw seems tighter and shoulder begins to loosen on account of me sucking the chrome from its fender.

Lotsa smoke now, it's just the Ecuadorian top-leaf is meow positively slimy. Or negatively slimy? I shall leave that to the philosophers in their ivory towers of academia. Alas, I bet they're all buzzed, too. At the band, it's more feels (body/strength) than notes (flavor), all hot hot hot -- tho temp-wise cool 'nuff. Must I type "picante" yet once more 'gain? I taste salsa. When Trump builds a wall, will ketchup regain its condiment king status? Will we all revert back, back to mayo? My Midwest experience is "You put mayonnaise on that, too?" The response was "Yes." The action was too often Miracle Whip. You ever eat a pastrami sammich slathered in Miracle Whip? Don't.

Petering out, again.

FINAL GRADE
****B-****
Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

Look for me on Facebook:
The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it via the buttons below.
Sharing is a quick, easy, and free way to help me grow my audience.

If you’ve enjoyed a buncha these posts, please consider donating.
PayPal: paypal.me/Kaplowitz
L'shalom

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Flatbed Panacea Billboard San Andres - Cigar Review

B"H
THE CIGAR
Flatbed Cigar Co.
Panacea Billboard
6 1/2 x 52~ Toro
w. Mexican San Andrean
b. Dominican
f. Dominican and Nicaraguan
"Our NEW "Billboard" inspired label. Every-day, Any-time cigars. Earthy, raw, and natural. Blends that easily pair with just about everything. Try our new Connecticut Shade Fuerte, and/or our award winning San Andres. The perfect blends, the perfect sizes.

Our PANACEA San Andres. Strong, bold, and absolutely beautifully grown! In addition to it's wonderful taste, this leaf was grown with a lot of knowledge and TLC. We've been looking for a Mexican leaf for quite a while, but nothing was meeting our expectations. As you see in our blends, we like to use tobaccos from around the globe...and Mexico has been on our radar for some time. This wrapper is absolutely pristine. Uniform, consistent, resilient, and a pleasure to smoke! Nutty, almonds, coffee bean, and smooth hints of black pepper. The filler is from The Dominican Republic, and Nicaragua. Binder is Cuban seed, Dominican."


KVELL

  • S'more and dark fruit syrup cold pull
  • ...with peppery barnyard manure underbelly.
  • No intrusive veins. Even 'nuff complexion.
  • Cap is a tip(?) and expertly affixed.
  • Sweet red wine and S'mores notes.
  • Seasoned and peppery hardwoods (+ on retro-hale)
  • Compost underbelly w/ some manure goodness.
  • Cherry Coke and espresso in the middlings.
  • Seams tighten up at 2/3 onset*.
  • Ash holds to an easy inch of silver/heather sheath.
  • Blood orange and nutty notes.
  • Cinnamon and sugar are last of big mid transition.
  • Even 'nuff burn-line -- 1/2 tick ribbon'd hither and tither.
  • Body fleshes out in second-half, ends medium+ (mo' 'mallow)**.
  • Slightest of nifty tongue-tingle. 
  • Perfect moisture-level in smoke-hole.
  • Strength rises comfortably at each 1/3. Ends medium+.
  • Ever-increasing smoke out-put, dense creamy white.
  • Sweet lingering woodsy tobacco room-note.
  • Excellent transitions, complexities, nuances.
  • Smooth and even medium+ tension/satiation throughout.
  • Overall combustion (superb pacing) and construction each excel. 
  • Finish is a sweet toastiness on medium legs which ends in clean citrus.
  • Solid yet tick softer nub, cool to ye olde end.
KVETCH

  • Seams are a tick uneven*.
  • Not as robust a sheen as I'd like on a San Andres.
  • Tick of a hard-spot at band.
  • Bit of an uneven packing at foot.
  • Twice and slight crack in ash 
  • A bit lacking in body**.
  • Slight eye irritant on 3/3 draw smoke.
  • Half-tick of a fragile hand-feel in 3/3.
FINAL GRADE
****A-****

Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

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What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

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A Review of Recent Grade A Cigar Offerings

B"H
"Sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit, these men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem - If no one else can help - and if you can find them - maybe you can hire the A-Team."

Or, gentlepersons, save some schlepping and tsuris and just get a hold of some of this particular A-Team by visiting my dear pals at CIGARS CITY.
THE A TEAM
La Flor Dominicana Andalusian Bull
Rocky Patel Sun Grown Maduro
Jas Sum Kral Zlatno Sonce

HONORABLE MENTION
Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

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The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

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Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Kaplowitz Reads Kaplowitz 1/24/17

B"H
I woke up, lit up a Luck Leaf Ignoto, done did this up.
Give a listen, gentlepersons? Please press play below.
As always, the kindly loaning of yer kind attentions is verily appreciated.


Celebrating Shemp’s Last Day, every-day.
HORSE RACING | BOXING | CIGARS

Look for me on Facebook:
The Kaplowitz Mishpucha
Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?

Great cigars, great prices, great customer service
What’s not to like? www.CigarsCity.com

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
www.FelixAssouline.com

Boutique as... pardon my French.
www.JasSumKral.com Catch the #JSKvirus to-day

Old-school, Micro-roller. Flatbed Cigar Co.:
Please visit: www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

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L'shalom

Monday, January 23, 2017

Flatbed Panacea Cigar Co. Black Natural - Cigar Review

B"H
THE CIGAR
Flatbed Cigar Co.
Panacea Black Natural
6 x 50 Toro
w. Connecticut
b. Dominican
f. Cuban seed Seco, Ligero, Olor Dominicano, and Nicaraguan

"PANACEA Black was our first label launched in October of 2007. At that time we only offered the Connecticut wrapper (still my favorite). Now, in addition, we have Black in a Brazilian maduro. Cuban seed Seco & Ligero, Olor Dominicano, and Nicaraguan highlights make up the interior. The binder is Dominican. If you like a full body cigar that is mild to medium in strength, try our black label. You'll enjoy a rich, creamy smoke that won't over power, but it will let you know you are smoking something. Have fun..." from www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com
K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
Appearance
k a p l o W i t z
Band is a black and white piece of non-schlock Americana. Big white star front & center with a touch of gold touches. Nice stock, embossed. Shaft is a Connecticut hue with a complexion of some even greenish/lightly roasted coffee bean marbling. Toofless. Minimal veins. Tight, even seams. Nice sheen for a CT. Well-crafted cap.

Construction
k a p l o W i t z
Nifty-keen smooth hand-feel. Draw is a medium+ tension gate-to-wire. Seams hold exceptionally well. There is a short thin crack in the top-leaf in the 2/3, but don't harm anything beyond slight cosmetics; smokes trough sans tsuris. Wrapper gets darn velvety as it cooks. Pack density begins at a -firm sans soft/hard spots, and softens to a medium by the nigh-band, retaining a nice lively spring-back throughout.

Combustion
k a p l o W i t z
Pace is a quickish side of average, but just by half a tick. Burn-line requires no thought a' re-touch, but is a bit uneven in spots till self-correcting at the top a' 2/3. Line itself is a -medium thickness. Shaft stays cool. Wrapper/binder/fillers burn in sync. Ash is a non-flaky but somewhat crackly sheath of heather-grey. Grows to an inch easily. Smoke out-put is a robust thing of white creamy clouds with occasional bits of eggshell. 

Flavors
k a p l O w i t z
Cold notes are salted butter, sweet cream, cedar, dirt. Hint of white pepper. Hot notes are an up-front more white pepper than expected with slight pale spice attachment, a wasabi-like vibe. Some oak meets cedar and hits middling with a light grain almost Saltine cracker and boiled peanut thing. Under-belly is dirt sprinkled with lightly roasted ground coffee beans. 2/3 is a mellowing of peppers and spice, a brewing of coffee with cream and sugar. Yeasty, somewhat. Still retains what I'd call a calm kick, particularly on the finish. Medium legs there. Through the schnoz is a white pepper half-zetz and a crusty loaf of homemade white bread. Caramel and kettle-corn is at the mid-point, an orange blossom honey bit, too. The final act is more mellow, still -- but by no means a boring affair. The milder delivery here allows more nuance and depth of notes to be seen. There is a tangy addition of acidity to the dirt underbelly and a bit of cashew flows in. 

Body
k a p l O w i t z
Mashed potato with white pepper tingle mouth-feel. Big bod for a Connie. Finishes cleanly crisp after its medium lengh'd legs pull back they're sweet natural tobacco. Excellent moisture-level in smoke-hole. Nowheres nigh throaty nor chesty, but rich nonetheless.

Strength
k a P l o w i t z
Half-buzz, tops. "I'll have a Shirley... No, a virgin... No, a children's... Oh, what the heck? You only live once. Give me a white wine spritzer!" - Ned Flanders, Viva Ned Flanders, Simpsons Season 10 Episode 10.

Aroma
k a p l o W i t z 
Cold schnoz is a rather odorless barrel of hay and pale nuts. Verily muted. Buttery cedar vibe'd foot. Mild. Room-note is an inherently sweet natural tobacco with a a lemony crispness. Surprising and almost oddly but kindly subtly lingering.

FINAL GRADE
****B+****
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Great smokes. Great prices. Great customer service. What’s not to like?

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
Go to www.FelixAssouline.com

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Catch the #JSKvirus today. Boutique as pardon my French.

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L'shalom

Protocol Probable Cause - Cigar Review

B'H
THE CIGAR
Cubariqueno Cigar Company
Protocol Probable Cause
6 1/2 x 48 Churchill Box-press
w. Mexican San Andrean Maduro
b./f. Nicaraguan
m. La Zona SA, Nicaragua (Erik Espinosa)
KVELL

  • Luscious looking box-press chocolate sinfullness.
  • Nicely even press. Minimal veins, smooth hand-feel.
  • Great sheen over-top even, dark complexion.
  • Even medium pack density, no hard/soft spots.
  • Excellent tooth.
  • Cold draw is a rich Mexican spiced mocha latte.
  • Heavy tropical floral notes.
  • S'Mores San Andrean flavor.
  • Spicy tingle via red stuffs on a chewy body.
  • Red wine? Syrupy sweet Manischewitz-style.
  • Ash grows to an inch of silvery pale-grey loose sheath.
  • Draw is a smooth medium+ tension throughout.
  • Even doses of smoke to smoke-hole, gate to wire.
  • B I G smoke out-put.
  • Molasses in 2/3 sweetens profile deeply.
  • ... Cinnamon, nutmeg, and a new cumin rise to balance.
  • Seams tighten nicely as it cooks.
  • Leathery dense oily mid-point transition.
  • ... weightier compost under-belly there, too. Ne'er was light.
  • Nice couple transitions off notes nuances and deepenings.
  • Goodly complex of an offering.
  • 3/3 is a soaring toasting of previous subtle mesquite/oak/cedar.
  • - full flavors carried on a like-wise body.
  • Smooth textured smoke, cool from foot to nub.
  • Press rounds, but holds.
  • Moist-side of medium in smoke-hole, but not spitty. Oily.
  • Heavy and long bittersweet finish w/spicy attachment.


KVETCH

  • Seams are a tick uneven, loose in spots.
  • Not a very pungent cold aroma.
  • 1/3 Burn-line wobbles ribbons some, no retouch mandated.
  • Some flake in burnt offerings.
  • Binder burns a tick-away from fillers, at times.
  • Top-leaf occasionally lags in combustion hither and tither.
  • 2/3 re-touch needed to abate slight canoe threat.
  • Shoulder comes a bissell loose.
  • 3/3 starts with a necessitated re-touching.
  • Spicy bits of finish fatigue palate a half-tick come 3/3.

FINAL GRADE
****B+****

EDITOR'S NOTE
This is my second kicking of this blend/vitola's tires. Read the first go HERE.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it via the buttons below.
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Questions/comments/concerns? Contact me HERE.

Please visit www.CigarsCity.com
Great smokes. Great prices. Great customer service. What’s not to like?

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars.
Go to www.FelixAssouline.com

Old school family micro-roller.
Take a look at www.FlatbedCigarCompany.com

Check out www.JasSumKral.com
Catch the #JSKvirus today. Boutique as pardon my French.

Consider, please, joining my Kaplowitz Mishpucha HERE. Too...
like me on Facebook: Have you Kaplowitz’d today?
L'shalom

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Cigars City Podcast - Joya de Nicaragua Joya Red

B"H
In Trump's America, we kibbitz over a Joya Red by Joya de Nicaragua about FDA regulations, freezes, and Akordyan Tabik news. B I G  N E W S. We also talk about Walgreens visits and facial hair.

Give a listen by pressing play below, gentlepersons.
Thanks as always, for the kindly loaning of yer kind attentions.

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Sharing is a quick, easy, and free way to help me grow my audience.


If you’ve enjoyed a buncha these posts, please consider donating.
PayPal: paypal.me/Kaplowitz
Venmo: @KapKaplowitz

Questions/comments/concerns? Contact me HERE.

Please visit www.CigarsCity.com
Great smokes. Great prices. Great customer service. What’s not to like?

Let it go to your head: Felix Assouline Cigars
Go to www.FelixAssouline.com

Check out www.JasSumKral.com
Catch the #JSKvirus today. Boutique as pardon my French.

Consider, please, joining my Kaplowitz Mishpucha HERE. Too...
like me on Facebook: Have you Kaplowitz’d today?
L'shalom