Deep in flavor. Deep in your mind.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

A Glimpse Ahead to the 2017 Triple Crown

People love lists and they too, do love positivity. This tandem of truths, gentlepersons, is what I doth bring ya in this one singular post. Wowie wow wow.

Actually, I have been promising it for some time now, and do appreciate yer patience in the matter. I have mentioned it each time (a couple/few now) that I have forced ya to endure the opposite of what I admittedly know people adore -- namely long wordy postings of the negative-toned variety.

Like any cynic worth his salt, I feel it realistic to state the disappointment inherent in this trip-around-the-sun's Triple Crown crop. In summation of 2016 I will share what I penned already and elsewheres: "The end result was a redistribution of wealth via talent that would make Bernie Sanders blush -- if not gahd-dang lift a finger to help around the kibbutz just once. It was the excitement of a lowered and even'd field, not the excitement which comes from watching anything particularly special."

I digress.

TOP FIVE TWO YEAR-OLDS 2016
(& Cigar Pairings)
5. Battalion Runner (Cu-Avana Punisher Intensus) by Unbridled's Song, and still carrying his maiden, this colt finished second to Random Walk's successful opening gambit. Lettuce say I hear good things. No follow-up questions please, gentlepersons. A Pletcher trained horse just like Bode's Dream and too owned by St. Elias Stable LLC, he may come in more handy than spectacular.

4. Made Me Shiver (Avo Classic No. 2) by Maclean's Music (see what they did there?) this filly, bred and owned by Hill 'n' Dale Equine Holdings broke maiden her first time out at Churchill Downs a couple weeks back. She ran four and a half furlongs on dirt in a time of 0:51.05. Truth be told, against not the greatest of competition. I'm curious here to see what's next.

3. Riv (Foyle Classic) I like this bay colt, I does...mayhaps for not the best of reasons. He's by Medaglia d'Oro whom I likes, yet I ain't a pedigree guy per se. Set to go in next month's G3 Bashford Manor at a hearty 6 furlongs, someone else whom matters more than I gotta think highly of him, as well. On June third, Riv did win at Arlington in a Maiden Special Weight go.

2. Random Walk (Isabela Serpentine) the bay colt by Super Saver is one-for-one in career starts; winning at Belmont on June 3rd. The distance was five and a half furlongs on dirt, the time 1:03.35. He beat out a field of five other ponies there, including the favorite, Battalion Runner by Unbridled's Song.

1. Bode's Dream (Leaf by Oscar) this filly is the first winner by Bodemeister, and twice actually. The first at four and a half furlongs the second at a furlong more at Belmont's Astoria, on dirt, at 1:03.66. A ward of Misters Pletcher and Velazquez -- the roan runner is in very good hands, indeed.
Thank ya, gentlepersons, for accompanying me on this crossing-over to the sunny-side of the street. My feet feel better. No, really. Quite literally -- they feel great. Have I publicly stated my fleeting foot issues? Hey, lemme quote me once more again! "Not to brag, but I just bought some new Dr. Scholl's insoles for my black shoes. Double Air-Pillo, mind ya. Oh, and I'm wearing my suit jacket. Oh, and also, the suit jacket is on account of this here Opus X..." [read the full Lost City write-up HERE]

Funny thing: "Double" takes up twice as much room in my shoe. This eventually wound up with me losing a few layers of skin off my left pinkie-toe, and experiencing swelling in my right metatarsal. Oy vey iz mir! I'm back to normal thickness of insole now, and all is well. Now ya know. I just am no good at treating myself. I draw a relaxing bath and sit in it... waiting... not blinking. Can I be done? I'm kinda sitting in my own filth here...

EDITOR'S NOTE
The nerve of me pairing premium cigar offerings with horses as young as these. Will someone please think of the children!? If the FDA asks, ya ain't seen me or this post, ya hear?

As always, I have paired with a purpose. Wanna know more? Ask me on the next Kibbitz. Check yer local listings, and thanks as always, for the loaning of yer attentions.

Honorable mentions, mentioned below in "labels." This is a ploy, gentlepersons. You can use the labels to even more successfully navigate this here blog as it doth grow.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Kaplowitz Q&A Session #1

Ya got a question re: the topics of cigars, boxing, or horse racing, a la Shemp's last day? Send it to me for my answer via any contact method listed HERE. Thanks, gentlepersons.
"What's next for Keith Thurman?"

What's next for one Mr. Keith Thurman, after coming off a narrow yet unanimous decision victory over the very game and supremely one dimensional Mr. Shawn Porter? Not tiddly-winks, to be certain. To continue and as well to hasten the narrowing down approach -- I'll list some names and my thoughts on each a' them.

Mr. Floyd "Money" Mayweather: has admitted recently to a willingness to return -- if the money is right. It would only nigh be against Thurman right now. I can't help to think Mayweather (49-0-0&26) has a pan capable of frying bigger fish. This would not be a super-fight, and I doth think that's Mayweathers goal and only current bait. He ain't looking to make a name for hisself -- he's looking to cash in on said made name.

Mr. Errol Spence, jr.: Love the name. Sounds like some old Hollywood leading man. He ain't a leading man, yet, at least not in a blockbuster. Thurman (just about mainly mostly) is. Spence (20-0-0&17) is still doing community theater, albeit in a well respected troupe in either LA or NYC. He shall soon attain the heights of which Thurman currently enjoys, easily and then some -- but as of now, both being amid excelsioring at differing levels -- their career trajectories simply don't align.

Mr. Kell Brook: I've seen it printed that the IBF world welterweight champ Brook (36-0-0&25) has called out Thurman. Great idea for him to have did so, gentlepersons. If we learnt anything from the recent Thurman/Porter fisticuffs -- it's that Brook beats each of 'em (already having beat Porter, natch). Why/how were shown Thurman's chinks that night, and how they pertain here? Porter man-handled Thurman for much of their bout -- walking through fluffy Thurman jabbings and tossing him in turn, into ropes. Brook has that sorta strength, but too the punching power 'nuff to pay dividends therein.

Mr. Danny Garcia: A pick 'em fight with limited appeal? How can ya lose? It is worthy of note that Thurman began banging this drum months prior to his Porter match-up. Since then, his "Sign the contract, boy!" directed at Garcia (32-0-0&18) is fighting words if ever there is. Also two points... firstly re: limited appeal, Thurman has said that he wants to forgo PPVs and continue on with free TV pugilistic offerings. Limited appeal = lesser paydays as does free TV = lesser paydays. If he ain't 'bout moolah -- he's definitely showing my second point -- he's about belts. That's what Garcia has which Thurman wants, of the WBC varietal. I admire this, gentlepersons. The belts need more respect than the Benjamins, soitenly.

Mr. Shawn Porter: This is the fight that Thurman doth want; I simply ain't sure he knows it. This fight ends the same way it ended the first time, the next ninety-nine times they fisticuff. This time with a bigger check at the end. Will it occur: here's something, and a topic for another time which too may lend to if not beg, an answer: what the heck is next for Porter (26-2-1&16)? I say a Thurman re-match is the most he can hope for, a nice payday that'll buy him some cool threads, trinkets, and rainy-day moolah for the dawn of his gate-keeping career.
"How good is Exaggerator?"

On a wet track with a good set-up, this beta horse easily almost passes as an alpha. OK gentlepersons, that was rough. Lettuce say it was a weak Triple Crown field this year, and yes I include Nyquist, et al. The end result was a redistribution of wealth via talent that would make Bernie Sanders blush -- if not gahd-dang lift a finger to help around the kibbutz just once. It was the excitement of a lowered and even'd field, not the excitement which comes from watching anything particularly special. 

I will say that Exaggerator's up-side is upper than is Nyquist's. "At least ya have yer health." Although, Mr. Kent Desormeaux did suggest the horse dying under he at Belmont. "I was praying to G-d [ed.] that the reins were lying to me. The horse that was keen to progress was not underneath me. I nursed him to the quarter pole and set him down, put him down for a mad drive and said, 'Show me your stuff,' and there was nothing there. By the time we got to the eighth pole he was stepping on his tongue, and I said, 'That's enough. I'm not going to be fifth, I'm not going to be seventh. Let's get him home and probably get him back to where he enjoys a mile and a quarter or not three weeks in a row.'"
"How would Floyd Mayweather have done against the Fab 4?"

Mr. Floyd Mayweather (49-0-0&26) fits into the vaulted and nigh mythological pantheon of the 1980's Fabulous Four of Mr. Roberto Duran (103-16-0&70), Mr. Marvin Hagler (62-3-2&52), Mr. Thomas Hearns (61-5-1&48), and Mr. "Sugar" Ray Leonard (36-3-1&25) in the exact same manner as they themselves do/did. He has varying troubles with all but Sugar Ray. Sugar Ray ya see, most likely doth simply beat 'im. Lettuce put no cart before a horse and digress a moment. Then... 

Leonard out-Mayweathers Mayweather like he out-Duran'd Duran. Wide unanimous decision, here for Leonard. A boring fight for the casual fan. Lots want their monies back. "What'd ya expect?" I says to 'em.

As to Hitman Hearns, Leonard shows Money how to do that via blueprint. "That" being, in Mayweather's case -- earn a narrow and publicly contended split decision victory. Mayweather shines in his defensive skill-set display. Or runs. Depends on whom ya ask.

Moving onto Duran. Mr. Hands of Stone. This is the most entertaining of all these fo(u)r-instance prizefights. I give a 65/35 advantage to Roberto. Unless it's somehow fought at lightweight, where no one beats Duran mayhaps ever. But in Fab Four contexts, my moolah is mainly safe riding on Duran stubbornly finding a way a good few ticks more oft than not, and too on Money not having 'nuff Sugar to induce a No mas closing.

Hagler is the blow-out. Early to mid round KO for Marvelous Marvin. Mayweather has the rolls but not the feet nor snap of punch of Leonard, therefore little hope via lateral movings or power to keep Hagler honest.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Weekly Horse Racing Review for June 27, 2016 - Gurkha Viper


I'm back on the java train with a freshly healed and rejuvenated gut. Sure, my throat is raw from talkin' and smokin' up the proverbial storm, but that ain't a hamper to my lil bit o' turf-writing. There's more to come of that turf-writing, by the by. Just as there is now more ring-writing, proper. Also: HELP WANTED looking for a horse fan to take part in my Kibbitz podcast. Inquire within.

For meow and humsoever gentlepersons --

THE CIGAR
Gurkha Viper
7 x 50 Churchill Box-pressed
w. Dominican Habano
b. Dominican
f. Dominican & Nicaraguan
MELATONIN COMPLETES GOLD CUP DOUBLE
The hand-feel on this Gurkha is silky as all get-out. Box-pressing is on the gentle side and density seems a tick under-stuft. Cold draw notes of highly creamy milk chocolate and cedar, predominantly. White bread and white pepper get added whenst match is applied.

Melatonin: the lil horse that could. Could what? Could under-dog. Well. From his 16-1 win at the Santa Anita Hcp. (while many a good pony was over at the $10M USD Dubai World Cup) -- to Saturday's Gold Cup win over stiffer competitions put up by falling back Hoppertunity and coming on strong Hard Aces. By a length and-a-half, the five year-old horse earned a win-and you're-in spot at the Breeders' Cup Classic. Word is that he may more nigh on the calendar, be pointing to The Awesome Again Stakes. 

Mr. Joe Talamo, jock, had this to say post-victory and regarding the run: “I knew I had a lot of horse turning for home, but my horse dug in so nicely. I don't know what else to say, he's an unbelievable horse and the sky's the limit." After not knowing what else to say, he added: “He's a jockey's dream. He just does his thing. He does not have to go to the lead. As you saw, he laid second, comfortably. What impressed me the most about him today was when Win the Space came to him at the eighth pole, he just battled back. He gives you everything he's got.”

Ash piles on loosely and somewhat flakily in grey complected variances. Milk chocolate, creamy cedar, a somewhat immature tobacco with a white pepper attachment which comes across as potentially bite-prone. Dirt underbelly. White bread lacings. Not much of a finish. Mouth-feel is a nicely moistened tingle. Room-note is kind and sweet. A coffee note sidles up to the medium profile. Strength is mild.

Melatonin's tenacity in under-dog victories and swinging above his weight doesn't end on the track. Shortly after he broke his maiden on the dirt, and three weeks into his stay at current owner Hofmans' barn -- the young fella became wobbly and simply just not right. A blood test would reveal a quite serious neurological disorder, equine protozoal myeloencephalitis (EPM). It would be a year and a half before the horse would return to the track. In short gentlepersons, you count out Melatonin at yer own peril; thus sayeth his-story.
NYQUIST TAKES 2ND BREEZE
This past Saturday, Nyquist, winner of the Kentucky Derby, loser of The Preakness, and sitter-outer of Belmont Stakes, had his second public workout since being shelved after the second Triple Crown jewel due to fever and elevated white blood cell count. He went 5 furlongs in 1:02.07 before the day's Santa Anita card onset. “It wasn’t super-fast, but it was exactly what we wanted,” trainer Doug O’Neill said after the breeze. Team Nyquist has the stated goal of a Breeders' Cup Classic go -- but it might take a good week to decide the whats and whens of before that.
 
Gentlepersons, I am now fully in the "Gurkha experience." Two re-touches on a fercockt burn have yielded limited positive results. Flavor notes are unchanged, lest a dustier delivery of the dirt under-belly. Too there is a vibing in of a sour note attempting at a dry white wine under my tongue.
MOONIST 2011 - 2016
The Viper offering remains unchanged in sub-par construction combustion. Flavor notes are the same and given on a thin line. The draw is even at medium, but offers varying bursts of smoke to smoke-hole. Sour notes ebb and flow, and their white wine vibings are now mute. At the dawning of 3/3 the line is nigh even at last. Then the stick goes out. 

According to DRF, "'Moonist, the champion aged Quarter Horse of 2015, was euthanized late Tuesday after complications from colic, trainer John Cooper said on Wednesday.'"

My heart-felt condolences to the multi-graded stakes winner's connections and fans. He was the first horse to win four derbies in a single year (2014) at Los Alamitos. He too won ten derbies and four stakes in that, his three year-old campaign. All told, Moonist was a winner in 24 of 34 starts and earned a total $878,468. The fine gelding won four championship titles, as well. Unbeaten in four starts this year, Moonist was rated the nation’s leading older horse. He wore pink. I liked that. May his memory be a blessing.

I'll re-light and tend to my roses, hang some hand-washed laundry on a sunny line. A toasted caramel nuttiness flirts in.

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K being the least, Z the greatest
Appearance O
Construction O
Combustion L
Flavors/Body L
Strength A
Moonist 2011-2016
EDITOR'S NOTE
Stock footage writing courtesy of me. Review content originally posted HERE. Moonist post is original to HERE.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Kibbitz w/ Kaplowitz Volume 1 Issue 5 June 26, 2016 Save the Leaf Special

On to-day's ‪‎Kibbitz‬, for which I thank you gentlepersons, for the loaning of yer attentions:

MORE on www.SaveTheLeaf.org and its mission, proper. I'll have some further questions re: that; for Jordan Drew and Danny Vazquez whenst they call in. In other words, gentlepersons, we'll be talking more FDA stuffs as the armageddon clock doth tick.
ALSO 
  • What should ya expect from a 16 buck stick that you shouldn't from an 8 buck one. What about a 3-5 buck stogie? Let's set some expectations.
  • Are nuances/complexities ALWAYS a good thing?
  • Project X blind cigar reviews shall be revealed, twice.
  • AND ALSO EVEN MORE... !
NOTE
There will be no Extra Edition Kibbitz this week, as I need to rest my throat and entertain my five year-old.

Joshua v Breaseale Retrospective

BOXING
YESTERDAY'S NEWS TODAY
JOSHUA KOs BREASEALE IN 7
O2 ARENA, LONDON
I Kibbitz'd regarding this match-up in a prediction show. You can listen HERE as I warn against Mr. Anthony Joshua (17-0-0&17) looking past this fight with Mr. Dominic Breaseale (17-1-0&15) -- you can also hear me giving Joshua a tick too much credit, even whilst warning against not giving Breaseale 'nuff. As I audio-style point out at the above podcast link, they had virtually the same record against the same-ish level of opponents coming into their showdown.

In the actual prizefight, bearing in mind a caveat to "virtually the same record against the same level of opponents," Mr. Breaseale had been stunned and dropped -- so I must ask -- what took the highly vaulted Anthony Joshua so dang long? He had each and every opportunity to end it in the 2nd, as I predicted. Call me a contrarian, and if ya do I'll say no, natch -- but I am not blown away by Joshua's performance here. What's next for him, then? As I just know that the fella's thoughts doth revolve around proving himself to lil ol' I...
Mr. David Price (20-3-0&17? There's a name being bandied around. Remember him, gentlepersons? Me either, but once my steel trap memory got spritzed with a dose of lubricant: the Liverpool native was knocked-out twice by Tony Thompson a couple/few years back and also by Germany's Erkan Teper last year. He's rebuilding now. Feh!

Mr. David Haye has too been mentioned and I do wish that would stop, generally. Although I am somewhat convinced that those people mentioning Haye are, vastly, Haye. LET'S GO CHAMP. My how I'd like to see Mr. Shannon Briggs pull one out there. Fury and Wilder are of course being named, but I feel maybe in a couple years. There is in existence, a mandatory challenger and I'll quote what promoter Eddie Hearn said re: that, "November. We like the Joseph Parker [(10-0-0&16)] fight, that's the mandatory, we'll have to deal with that at some point, whether that's November, December or whether that's March, April that's a good fight."

A final note: potentiality is a beautiful thing, indeed. Humsoever, when the future is attempted to be passed off as the present, it starts to resemble amateur hour. The IBF Heavyweight Crown, then, as one fit for a prince -- not a king.

Brook Wins Thurman/Porter Match

BARCLAY CENTER, BKLYN
YESTERDAY'S BOXING NEWS TODAY
THURMAN UD OVER PORTER
Mr. Shawn Porter (26-2-1&16) showed himself to be an even tougher one-dimensional pugilist than I'd given him credit for being; wide-legged usually and occasionally holding lead glove in a pre-Emanuel Steward Lennox Lewis amateur positioning. Keith "One Time" Thurman's (27-0-0&22) left upper-cut was the only time he looked un-sloppy on the in-side, particularly in the later rounds. All told, Mr. Thurman lacked both strength and power nigh sorely so -- question: is "One Time" an ironic name? Like a big guy named Tiny? He didn't have the power to always guarantee an honest Porter, whose game-plan was to throw him into the ropes -- which he successfully did quite often.

Following that were the times when Thurman was at his telephone booth quarters sloppiest. Although too, it was when he'd far less occasionally land a decent uppercut. He accomplished this feat a handful of times in the championship rounds; only to be shaken off. All told, if Porter had as much as a Plan A-and-a-1/2, let alone a full-fledged Plan B -- this woulda ended awfully different and I daresay maybe 9 minutes earlier.

Humsoever, with more than 800 power punches thrown in a fight ending in a 115-113 on all cards fashion... it's hard to say anyone lost. Not the fans, not even Mr. Porter, whom again fortified his nifty singular dimension and tough beard on a national stage. Why, Thurman even keeps the zero in his loss column. It can also be true to posit neither participant and no spectator loses a match fought this bravely. Huzzahs abound all-around, gentlepersons.
Before we put this to bed, tho -- there was a definitive winner tonight. That being one Mr. Kell Brook (36-0-0&25). When Brook took on Porter in 2014 for Porter's IBF Welterweight Crown -- he took said crown from said head and back with him to jolly ol' chip-chip cheerio land and all that rot. He did so in a unanimous decision fought in such a way as to prove his very decent chance to neutralize what Thurman will bring if they were to engage in fisticuffs. Namely, a full-fledged Plan B -- say actually the least lil tick of employing some sweet science via a jab or side-step. Remember now too, that Brook didn't allow Porter to fling him rope-ward and actually had him backing up -- all off a jab not at all reminiscent of Thurman's pitter-pattying tonight. Mr. Brook looks nice, huh?

Yup. Brook comes out the only one of the three who has power and skills. Perhaps not the flash of Thurman nor bulldoggery of Porter, but close and has both in his toolbox. When I Kibbitz'd about this*, it was agreed this match would go a long way to deciding the Welterweight division's kingpin. I'll be a monkey's uncle if that tail wasn't pinned on neither in-ring pugilist.

In Thurman's post-fight interview, he laid claim to employing a rope-a-dope tact. Which doth sound a good tick better than "I got flung into the ropes, see." That is except to fans' ears at ring-side who seemed to have mixed responses to that. Ranging all the way from moans to notes of anger; some dismissive grunts could be heard as well.

EDITOR'S NOTE
*If'n interested, HERE is a link to the prediction Kibbitz podcast, wherein I correctly predicted tonight's pugilism outcome. I wasn't alone in doing so. I only Kibbitz with the very best.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Weekly Boxing Review for June 25, 2016 - Macanudo Cafe

Funny thing. Being the incorrigible wisenheimer I is, I took a Macanudo offering to a video interview I had with www.SAVETHELEAF.org -- you see, Save the Leaf is attempting to "make some noise" in the hopes of fending off pending FDA regulations that would wipe out much of the smaller cigar companies and leave us smoking vastly... Macanudos. Anyhoo, I had the Macanudo in my hand, and in my lap, my Chromebook. I Googled for more info re: the stick. One of the top hits was this, my blog. I chuckled. Are you chuckling? I bet ya are. See, I'd already reviewed it in the nascent stages of this here www.kaplowitz.xyz. Funny thing.

As stated elsewhere, I've decided to re-use my own words in an homage to how The Three Stooges used stock footage. As I spoke on the video and smoked the cigar, I took mental notes -- then continued smoking as I read along with my review. Great consistency. I've decided to re-use my own words in an homage to how The Three Stooges used stock footage. Dig? I decided to use parts of the old review within this Weekly Boxing update.

The original Macanudo Cafe write-up can be found HERE in its entirety.

THE CIGAR
Macanudo Cafe Seleccion
Connecticut Shade wrapper
Mexican binder/Dominican filler
5 1/2 x 50 Robusto
CANELO V SMITH TO OCCUR
A nose of grassy hay, light floral perhaps chamomile or feint apple on the wrapper. At the open foot, all that and heartier, with a note of airy leather on a light caramel backing. A cold pull is green herbal with a delicate cinnamon hint. A creaminess lingers but is light and delicate -- sweet, but not sugary. It feels odd to be at the onset of autumn, holding spring in my smoke-hole.

Mr. Liam Smith (23-0-1&13) is quite excited for the opportunity to make a splash on this side of the pond. "I am delighted to get the opportunity to defend my [WBO Jr. Middleweight] world title against the biggest name in world boxing and to headline in the U.S., which is a dream I have had since I started in the sport of boxing. This fight allows me to make my name in the U.S. and show just how good I am, and this is the big stage that will enable me to do that. I am confident of winning this fight and returning to the great city of Liverpool with my belt still around my waist."

Wait. Jr. Middleweight? Didn't Mr. Saul "Canelo" Alvarez (47-1-1&33) weigh an easy 175 come fight night versus Mr. Amir Khan? Doesn't he currently want GGG at 160? Canelo has signed to fight at 154 before, against Alfredo Angulo. Canelo's camp contacted Angulo's two days prior to weigh-in to let them know said weight wasn't gonna be made. Long story short, Team Canelo dropped $100K to Team Angula in order to 'buy back the weight.' Alvarez came in the bigger man, and left having dominated the smaller man. A victory was in no small way, purchased.

While the boxing world demands Canelo meet GGG, it gets this... a lil something no one (perhaps even Mr. Smith) demanded. I do not say a pugilist ducks opponents. I do not say a pugilists acts in cowardice. I do, humsoever say that a pugilist owes certain things to certain fans. Without said fans, where would said pugilist be? Perhaps fighting a knife-wielding monkey in international waters? Perhaps not, but if you disrespect the fans of boxing, you in turn disrespect the sport of boxing. Similarly to how you degrade it whenst handing over your claim to one of its crowns. 

As to the fight, I don't see Canelo either losing, nor hitting this weight. Mr. Smith will be monetarily compensated for getting knocked-out in the mid-rounds a la Mr. Khan. I await anxiously, Canelo's Fall 2017 date with destiny portrayed by Gennady Golovkin. As I wrote re: those pending fisticuffs, Something I failed to mention on the Kibbitz is that the $8.5M Mr. Alvarez has been ordered to pay All-Star Promotions might just be what binds him to his word. It also might be why the stage is set so far in advance -- as he attempts to wiggle outta his financial predicament. In other words, gentlepersons: I don't see this fight against Mr. Golovkin coming to fruition lest Canelo need the moolah. I too spoke more about this and more HERE in a Kibbitz.

The honey deepens its floral notes as the stick heats up. Too, the white pepper builds. A saltiness develops on my palate and is nice as a counterbalance to the sweetness, but not entirely needed, as the white pepper was already employed for that gig. Balance remains, but in a more complex manner -- not a complaint, to be clear.

The tang of a dry white wine is setting in. The floral notes have matured into delineated tart fruits and a very light floral honey that tastes like May -- the month, not the woman. There is some earthiness that reminds me of a field of dandelions like the one at the opening of the Little House on the Prairie TV show. I don’t get much earthiness or nuttiness or pepper at this point. A white bread comes in and out, but even when in, it remains far back.

A note on Liam Smith. He is now being bandied about as a heavy-hitter in this fight's early build-up. He does have the power to keep a fella his size honest -- but Alvarez won't be his size. Plus, to take nothing away from him, 23 wins and 13 by knock-out, don't doth scream "thunderous leather."
PACQUIAO V BRONER IS HALF-ON?
Firstly here Mr. Bob Arum, of Top Rank who represents Mr. Manny Pacquiao (58-6-2&38), has stated that absolutely zero talks have occurred regarding this potential prizefight. Transversely Mr. Oscar de la Hoya, of Golden Boy, who represents Adrien Broner (32-2-0&24) -- insists the fight is on like women's lingerie. Mr. Gomez of Golden Boy has stated he has it on "good authority" that the fight is set for an October pay-per-view. This tentative and somewhat vague date was supposedly set when de la Hoya and Gomez were invited over to Arum's residency and were served fancy Beverly Hills type sammiches, sans crust. They say when you lie, you tend to add unnecessary detail -- but whom's to say, gentlepersons?

The complexities -- some were fleeting and we now have a floral, nearing herbal front with a trace of light honey. Behind that is a grassy hay with a recurring pale nut flavor. A tangy white wine joins in on the finish and is chased by a salty note. Still it lasts long and well into the next draw. As the second act goes forward, the salt arrives sooner and with greater impact. Still mellow, still smooth. Still very much a brunch offering that would work well with a glass of lemonade or yard work.

I'll not get into predicting a bout so uncertain to occur, but it does seems somewhat like 'Pacman' would be doing 'The Problem' the favor of a bigger payday than he'd be privy to elsewhere -- and too, wouldn't have a lot to gain by adding a Broner dismantling to his legacy. On-top of that, there is the danger that Pacquiao continues upon his sloppy decline... and chips away at his own said legacy. Burn remains straight enough. all else re: construction and combustion hold. The burn has mayhap slowed a tad.
FURY V KLITSCHKO II POSTPONED
It strikes me that there is a certain old world grizzle to this offering that I usually find only in fuller-bodied specimen. This is a Jack Lemmon old age, not a Walter Matthau. Lemon? I believe I detect a slight lemongrass…

Just yesterday, gentlepersons (www.kaplowitz.xyz bringing ya yesterday's news today), we learnt of the postponement of July 9th's upcoming Heavyweight Championship Prizefight betwixt former champ Dr. Wladimir Klitschko (64-4-0&53) and current king, the self-moniker'd Gypsy King -- Mr. Tyson Fury (25-0-0&18). It would seem that Mr. Fury turned and injured his left ankle bone ten days ago whilst training... heck, I'll let him tell ya: “Ten days ago, while running in the Lake District, I went over on my ankle and sprained it. I’ve been to the hospital, had X-rays, scans and all that stuff. They said it’s not broken but it’s badly sprained and I should keep off it for six to seven weeks." No re-date has of yet been re-date'd, but that is forthcoming. It has been announced that all purchased tickets will be honored, and that the fisticuffs shall be held at the original venue, The Manchester Arena.

An almost medium honey note whose flowers have now been adorned with heartier blooms. A certain caramel has joined in with the bread which is now lightly toasted. The pepper remains white but warms a bit more, and there is a slight aging of the wood. White wine remains the same and saltiness has dialed back.

At the end of the final act, there is a somewhat inconsistent draw and a pepper that bites a bit sour. The wrapper threatens to unwrap, as well. Too, the strength is elevated to a dead center medium.

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K=least; Z=greatest
Appearance W
Construction W
Combustion W
Flavors/Body O
Strength O

Friday, June 24, 2016

Project X: Offering #14 Serie II - Blind Cigar Review (Carnage)


Blind review, then? Oh, yes. Blind review.
See the other Project X blind cigar reviews HERE.

Listen to the LIVE Reveal on this offering on the very next Kibbitz.
Check yer local listing HERE for show times.

THE CIGAR
*classified*
5 x 52ish Robusto Colorado Maduro
DECLASSIFIED
Carnage
ACT I

FLAVORS
Animal: Musk. Venison.
Sweet: Chocolate/cocoa. Honey. Coffee and cream. Sugar. Buttery.
Spicy: Cinnamon. Ginger. Cloves. White pepper (draw). Black pepper (r/h). Salt.
Woody: Cedar wood. Paper.  Oak.
Vegetal: Nuts, roasted. Hay, fresh. Floral. Citrus. Herbs.
Earthy: Dirt/earth. Dust. Wet cardboard.
Chemical: Soap (finish).
Malt: Honey. Chocolate.

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K being the least, Z the greatest
Appearance W
Construction O
Combustion L
Flavors/Body I
Strength P

NOTES

  • Very malty cold draw. Rye, honey, chocolate.
  • On the hot draw, only honey retains malt attachment.
  • Nice nigh open draw.
  • Notes of floral and citrus come on in tandem...
  • ... tastes like house paint at 1st. How odd. Settles...
  • ... some exotic spices come in after that settles.
  • Pack softened a tick against light.
  • Burn wobbles a tick.
  • Smoky, verily -- both ends.
  • Took me awhile to place venison (trayf).
  • Creamy smoke texture.
  • Oak passes cedar.
  • Rotisserie spices shotgun with exotic spices. Herbs. Huh, what? ...
  • ... (kinda hampered by chart here).
  • Malt returns to chocolate.
  • Burn won't even-out
  • Seam loosens.
  • Roll off ash. Re-touch.
  • Not milk chocolate. Chocolate milk.
  • Burn re-wobbles.
  • Packing softened a tick off re-touch.
  • Draw is excellent.
  • Tough one to grade --
  • -- interesting flavors, sub-par combustion.

ACT II

FLAVORS
Animal: Musk. Venison.
Sweet: Chocolate/cocoa. Honey. Coffee (less) and cream (more). Sugar. Toffee.
Spicy: Cinnamon (less). Ginger. White pepper (draw). Black pepper (r/h). Salt.
Woody: Cedar wood. Paper.  Oak.
Vegetal: Nuts, raw. Floral. Citrus. Herbs.
Earthy: Dirt/earth. Dust. Wet cardboard (more). Must/mildew.
Malt: Honey. Chocolate. (Less each.)

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
Appearance W
Construction [astonished emoji]
Combustion [Batman symbol]
Flavors/Body [Peter Griffin throwing hands up to quit]
Strength W

NOTES

  • Cereal and leather notes come on in. Kickin' the chart's tuchus, this.
  • Throat's a tick irritated.
  • Blistering at burn-line.
  • Top-leaf cracks and feels more delicate.
  • Apple... another chart miss.
  • Leather drives now.
  • In 3/3 dead even burn as pace slows noticeably.
  • Mouth dries & strangely on a wetter cardboard.
  • Nuts go: dark>roasted>raw>pale.
  • Smoke out-put soars.
  • Strength is up-tick'd.
  • Graham cracker? Oy gevalt, the chart!
  • C/C firm up. Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit ______.
  • Flavors delineate. Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit ______.
  • Egg cream finish. Leggier.
  • Ash is pretty! Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit ______.
  • Damp spongy nub with lively spring-back? 
  • Draw stays excellent and smoke, cool.
  • Burn re-wavers. I feel ya, Mr. Griffin.
  • ... evens back out. Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit ______.

FINAL GRADE
****N/A****
We'll Kibbitz, gentlepersons.
EDITOR'S NOTE
In the interest of uniformity, I will be working from a flavor chart via Stogie Fresh.
("Malt" added by moi, when added.)

Interesting stick, this. First retro-hale induced a sneezing fit and plugged nose for a minute or two. Too, kicked the flavor chart's tuchus, insofar as not in alignment. (Many notes are uncharted.) Intriguing flavors that didn't necessarily blend well, ie: chocolate milk and rotisserie seasonings. Structural performance was slightly regretful.

3/3 is all about: Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit ______.

TOPIC OF KIBBITZ
Are all nuances and/or complexities good things?

A Review of Recent Grade A Cigar Offerings

"You're simply the best.
Better than all the rest,
Better than anyone --
Anyone I've ever met."
- Tina Turner

Without any further ado, adon't, or amaybe -- gentlepersons, I give ya simply the best of June. AKA...

THE A LIST
HONORABLE MENTION(S)
I kinda just want another Fallen Angel, gentlepersons. 

Another Mr. AJ Fernandez offering I smoked as part of a Boxing Review, the Ave Maria Morning Star, deserves mention. Look for a full review of that wonderful stick soon. Yes, I have come around to ol' AJ.

Thank ya for another month's worth of yer attentions, it is verily appreciated vastly. Color me verklempt.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Kibbitz w/ Kaplowitz Extra Edition Thursday Evening June 23, 2016 4.1 (Boxing)

Mr. Darren Harris and myself Kibbitz'd re:

Gennady "GGG" Golovkin v Chris Eubanks
Manny Pacquiao v Saul "Canelo" Alvarez
Dominic Breazeale v Anthony Joshua
Al Haymon's PBC on NBC hits all-time TV ratings low.

PLUS as breaking news as I get (yesterday's news to-day), the verbal contract betwixt Canelo and GGG to fight in Fall 2017. 


EDITOR'S NOTE
Something I failed to mention on the Kibbitz is that the $8.5M Mr. Alvarez has been ordered to pay All-Star Promotions might just be what binds him to his word. It also might be why the stage is set so far in advance -- as he attempts to wiggle outta his financial predicament. In other words, gentlepersons: I don't see this fight against Mr. Golovkin coming to fruition lest Canelo need the moolah.

As always, gentlepersons, the loaning of yer attentions is appreciated verily. 

Drew Estate Liga Privada T52 - Cigar Review


PROLOGUE
HORSE RACING (yesterday's news, today) Moonist 2011-2016

According to DRF, "'Moonist, the champion aged Quarter Horse of 2015, was euthanized late Tuesday after complications from colic, trainer John Cooper said on Wednesday.'"

My heart-felt condolences to the multi-graded stakes winner's connections and fans. He was the first horse to win four derbies in a single year (2014) at Los Alamitos. He too won ten derbies and four stakes in that, his three year-old campaign. All told, Moonist was a winner in 24 of 34 starts and earned a total $878,468. The fine gelding won four championship titles, as well. Unbeaten in four starts this year, Moonist was rated the nation’s leading older horse. He wore pink. I liked that. May his memory be a blessing.

Lettuce digress to --

THE CIGAR
Drew Estate
Liga Privada T52
7 x 54 Double Corona
w. Connecticut Stalk Cut & Cured Sun Grown Habano
b. Brazilian Mata Fina
f. Honduran and Nicaraguan

Here's to ya, Mr. Martin, with thanks.
Also thanks to Mr. Martin, I blind-reviewed this offering in its Toro format HERE.
PRE-LIGHT
To paraphrase, "That's not a cigar. This. Is a cigar." I've only time for one smoke to-day, so why not make it two? Rich and lively brown leather shoe even complected with a heady burnt-sienna under-hue riding high and nigh to the top. Some espresso marblings over-top of that and under a quite healthy and well-distributed oil-sheen. Zilch in regards to heavy veins; couple a' light ones and some good spiderweb stuffs happening along the shaft. Seams ain't super tight, but tight and verily even. Cap is flawless. Foot tobacco peeks out at a rich brownette with ticks down to red high-lighted brunette. Packing density eyeballs to a -full. So much tobacco...

Hand-feel is a leathery thing, oiled like a catcher's mitt but too put away for the off-season, and picked up for Opening Day. Some nice toothiness. Pretty nifty balance and feels OK in my paw for the size. As I finagle it, it begins to border on a rough velvet. Charmin squeeze test shows a medium+ boundary pushing re: density of pack. Apparently, I have found a realm betwixt medium+ and -full. Huzzah! Schnozzola time: along the shaft I get a cedar earth note delivered on leather. At the foot, some added pepper and a clove vibe. I Xi2 cutter cut the T52 and get cold notes of creamy milk chocolate braced by floral spices (clove-led), again leather is the under-belly. Some honey is on the cold finish. Yum.

LIGHT
Toasting the foot lets loose a fairly simple creamy earth note. There is a lotta tobacco in this DE, gentlepersons. Toast and light patiently. First hot pull is peppery as heck under-neath... this is restrained to allow a creamy spiced cedar and neat leather, the spotlight. Very full o' earth middlings. Hard to spot an under-belly for all the laid back peppers. Second hottie is a black pepper clove mix of eye-watering proportions. Drops to palate in a very sharp creamy cedar note, seasoned natch. Then comes a tick of floral. Third hot pull is a growing spicy and influx of caramelized sugar and black cherry. Pepper is black and red. Spices are clove and a new cinnamon led melange of reddish. Earthiness has a great espresso poured in. Oy.

Match-lit out of doors and evening up on a thin line which gives off sturdy pale grey ash. Draw is medium to +. I keep finding those tiny realms here in this Liga Privada. Smoke out-put is huge off foot and into smoke-hole. Room-note is a sweet thing, laced with sweet creamy spices and wood notes. Packing ain't softened an inch off burn. Profile is a medium+ outta the gate and is a fantastic quick-firing in honor of Quarter-horse extra-ordinaire, Moonist.Strength is a -medium. As I've writ this, I've taken a couple puffs, and gevalt! -- we've some flavor catching up to do...
ACT I
Wood profile adds a mesquite front and oaken back. All char lightly. Smoked meats come in. Chocolate, milk, flexes and gets a tint of maltiness. So many happenings. There is no hierarchy yet, per se. 'Simply' an introduction of cast members. Big cast, gentlepersons. Burn-line is even and ash is silver in places. Everything tastes soft and gold. Luxuriously textured. Spices form a mulling spice, to include orange rind. Herbs and nuts come in and what a dang morning-starter.

Let's see. Woods and creamy spice zetz are primary. Said woods are cedar-first. Middling is a espresso-front earth core. Mulling spice is there, chocolate, honey. Underneath is a leather. That seems vastly over-simplified. Almost every note has a sweet creamy and spiced counter-balance. Rye malt is mingling on the leather. Cherry and caramelized sugar are game-planning.

Smoke gets a yellowish tinge. Burn-line wavered a tick and is now self- correcting. Ash flakes a bit. Draw seems a tick hesitant, but I am sitting in a cumulus cloud, gentlepersons. My jaw ain't loving the 54RG, but my palate is telling it to shut up and quit complaining. Finish is long and sweet creamy wood notes. Spices. Mouth-feel is perfect moisture levels on a cushioned tingle... almost minty fresh. I am somewhat concerned, as I need to tug noticeably harder to fill up. At the opening, a sip would do. There is a tick of hesitancy to respond to each draw.

ACT II
Caramelized sugar goes to espresso and voila! -- Cuban coffee. Cherry is attaching to a new and separate dark chocolate and voila! -- cherry cordial. These occurrences doth occur in the upper middlings. Profile is a 'soft' -full, strength is medium and up-ticking loometh nigh. Hesitancy of draw is gone and smoke-hole is again filled upon a sipping.

I've decided to re-use my own words in an homage to how The Three Stooges used stock footage. Still at the opening of the second act here, the T52 is settling in and too flexing upon settling. I've decided to re-use my own words in an homage to how The Three Stooges used stock footage. The combustion/construction here ain't as grand as in the Toro vitola, but both are still excellent in this monstrous format. Mouth-tingle grows, kindly so. Cedar flexes and speaking of the differences in vitola, I don't recall that note in the Toro offering of this DE affair. Charring has ceased. I've decided to re-use my own words in an homage to how The Three Stooges used stock footage. Honey comes up now and a tick of caramel is therein.

Perhaps I should explain the settling in of flavors. There is still a slight roller coaster here, but I feel as though it's now a roller coater with which I am familiar. I can expect the twists and drops now. To the blend's credit -- they can be both predicted and enjoyed. Mesquite and oak woods have fallen back to further high-light the creamy/spiced cedar. Black pepper exists mainly on a retro-hale, and red pepper is riding shotgun to the mulling spice at the end of draw. Milk chocolate up-ticks on the finish, with a somewhat subtracting malt addition. Now it's on the draw, as well, softening the profile some. Ash cracks some and darkens. Strength dulls a half-tick... mayhaps I've grown accustomed to its face.

The remainder of the Double Corona's middle act is a softening of delivery and strength. Enjoyable, but lack of zetz leads to a dipping down of complexities. Flavors ain't fallen off, but some delineation has. I'm kinda all dreamy and stuff, gentlepersons. Smooth. I doth foretell a picking up in --

ACT III
I start here with a rolling off of dense tho cracked and a bissell flowering ash. I pull into my Dollar Store hand-mirror and notice that the filler is burning substantially hotter than binder. The spicey zetz of Act I was mellowed in Act II, but remained un-boring. We are now teetering, gentlepersons. Cedar and milk chocolate primaries are delivered on sweet cream and smooth textures. Middling is earth with less espresso and a subdued mulling spice. Leather has become suede in the under-belly. Nuances are mottled whispers of floral and honey notes. Strength has become a -medium and profile, a robust medium.

Draw evens at a medium tension. Pack softens a tick or two. Burn-line is an even 'nuff ribbon. Ash pales and regains lost silver flecks. There is a cut in the top-leaf, which is cosmetic only. Very cedar/chocolate. Body is creamy and verily. Molasses and a heavy aromatic tobacco flow in. Meatiness, which I've not seen awhile, is back in the mix. Suede under-belly gets a barley touch. Peat hits the earth core middlings. Mouth-feel is a bit parched. Nuts come back and are roasted more heavily. Still -- not a lot of zetz and/or delineations.

Burn hits that cut and it widens, threatening to fercockt the line. Remaining two inches of this T52 are bordering on spongy. Strength and profile meet at medium. Gone is the roller coaster, familiar or not. I'm on a carousel ride, gentlepersons. A carousel ride of an damp earth core. The horsies are so ornate and the music drones on...

SMOKE TIME
135mins 
(is that right???)
NOTES
Normally, it takes a Double Corona a bit to lift off, then it finishes wallop-style. This Liga Privada T52 didn't get the memo. It was a bust in the mouf opening act followed by a constant mellowing. Nice, verily -- but too a tick tedious. Also, the construction/combustion weren't the typical heady display of Drew Estate offerings, but that is more of a vitola thing herein. I much preferred the Toro in this blend.

Here's an analogy: the Quarter Horse of the year, running in that year's Belmont Stakes. Not a fan of ponies? This DE blend seems to have not had the stamina for this vitola.

PAIRINGS
Coffee in the AofM. Concord Grape in the PofM.

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K being the least, Z the greatest
Appearance W
Construction W
Combustion O
Flavors/Body W
Strength O

FINAL GRADE
****B****

EPILOGUE
BOXING NEWS (yesterday's news, to-day): Seems like the camps of Mr. Saul "Canelo" Alvarez and Mr. Gennady "GGG" Golovkin have at verily last set a date for their long anticipated prize-fight showdown. Verbally. For Fall 2017. At 160 pounds. The middleweight division is 154 to 160 lbs. Which is a lot like stipulating a lefty use his left-hand in a penmanship contest. ... Read more HERE.

EDITOR'S NOTE
I've decided to re-use my own words in an homage to how The Three Stooges used stock footage.

Canelo - GGG Camps Reach Fall 2017 Verbal Contract

BOXING NEWS (yesterday's news, to-day): Seems like the camps of Mr. Saul "Canelo" Alvarez and Mr. Gennady "GGG" Golovkin have at verily last set a date for their long anticipated prize-fight showdown. Verbally. For Fall 2017. At 160 pounds. The middleweight division is 154 to 160 lbs. Which is a lot like stipulating a lefty use his left-hand in a penmanship contest. Until ya realize, this is what it looks like when Canelo is negotiating a deal in a manner not completely lending itself to predatorial opportunity. He can't force here, a fella with no clear path to come up to his preset catch-weight, only to he himself rehydrate another score of pounds come fight-night. He can merely push the restraints as a child who's told to not touch; who then leaves his finger outstretched toward said "don't touch" thing -- but not touching. "I'm not touching."
It was Mr. Alvarez whom needed this fight after calling out GGG only to hand him a title via forfeiture days later. It was the fans who demanded this fight. Although, it might just be the court system's demands which were finally heard. Remember gentlepersons, Canelo is on the hook to All-Star Boxing, his former promoter, for a cool as cucumber $8.5M. Whatever the cause proved to be of restarting these stalled deal-talks, please lettuce simply enjoy it, and not gripe regarding the wait. It's only a year and some away. Plenty of room, humsoever, to re-prove the old adage that verbal contracts ain't worth the paper they're printed on.
How will it look when the lineal Middleweight King, one Mr. Gennady Golovkin, takes on the burgeoning "face of boxing," in Mr. Saul Alvarez? A lot like the real deal fighting a lesser real deal... if reeled into proximity of the agreed upon 160 (read: rehydration clause). If not, whom knows? I still say even with a twenty-pound advantage, Canelo can't cut the ring off 'nuff to use that added zetz of power -- generally speaking there -- least of all against GGG. Transversely, with GGG's style of shifting, ring generalship, and pop -- he might not have too hard a time figuring out a lumbering cruiser-weight lacking in overall ring awarenesses.
*
*    *
I'm all set to Kibbitz about it (&more) tonight at 8LA/11NYC. Wanna partake? (657) 383-1172 lets ya talk at me, gentlepersons. I do so look forward to that.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Moonist 2011 - 2016

According to DRF, "'Moonist, the champion aged Quarter Horse of 2015, was euthanized late Tuesday after complications from colic, trainer John Cooper said on Wednesday.'"
My heart-felt condolences to the multi-graded stakes winner's connections and fans. He was the first horse to win four derbies in a single year (2014) at Los Alamitos. He too won ten derbies and four stakes in that, his three year-old campaign. All told, Moonist was a winner in 24 of 34 starts and earned a total $878,468. The fine gelding won four championship titles, as well. Unbeaten in four starts this year, Moonist was rated the nation’s leading older horse. He wore pink. I liked that. May his memory be a blessing.

Project X: Offering #1_ Serie II - Blind Cigar Review (La Aroma de Cuba Mi Amor Reserva)


Blind review, then? Oh, yes. Blind review.
See the other Project X blind cigar reviews HERE.

Listen to the LIVE Reveal of this offering on the very next Kibbitz.
Check yer local listing HERE for showtimes.

THE CIGAR
*classified*
6 x 50-ish Toro Maduro
DECLASSIFIED
La Aroma de Cuba Mi Amor Reserva
ACT I

FLAVORS
Animal: Manure. Smoked meat.
Sweet: Molasses. Blackberry. Fresh fruit.
Spicy: Black pepper. Chili pepper. Salt. Licorice/anise.
Woody: Hickory wood. Mesquite wood. Charred/burnt. Toasted. Wine cask. Dark roasted coffee.
Vegetal: Herbs (dried). Nuts, roasted.
Earthy: Barnyard. Espresso. Heavy tobacco.
Chemical: Charcoal. Diesel (vibe on r/h)

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K being the least, Z the greatest
Appearance W
Construction I
Combustion I
Flavors/Body W
Strength L

NOTES

  • Interesting molasses, toasted until nigh all sweet is gone.
  • Very dry notes, but nicely moist mouth-feel.
  • Very solid white ash in a tightly woven sheath.
  • The slight point to the cap... the looks of the rugged-cut well-stuft foot tobacco...
  • ... ringing a bell.
  • Couple crimped veins in along shaft. Rustic.
  • Construction is a brick feces house, gentlepersons.
  • Very short, very clean finish.
  • At about 1": dark fruit juices.
  • Inch+ ash thuds to desk. Heaviest/tightest I've seen in a tick.
  • Pace is slowing and was never near quick.
  • A black tea note is at the end of a slightly longer finish.
  • Draw is a lil tight. Reward, a lil light.
  • Line is dead even. Packing is firm as ever.
  • Notes beyond woods are very light and led by meat.
  • Hand-feel is a calloused handshake.
  • 1/2" ash dumps.
  • Smoke out-put off both ends, up-ticks.
  • Throat is dry, nigh irritated.
  • Pumpernickel, in oven. Leather, stiff.
ACT II

FLAVORS
Animal: Manure. Smoked meat.
Sweet: Molasses. Blackberry. Fresh fruit. Black cherry.
Spicy: Black pepper. Chili pepper. Salt. Licorice/anise.
Woody: Hickory wood. Mesquite wood. Charred/burnt. Toasted. Wine cask. Dark roasted coffee.
Vegetal: Herbs (dried). Nuts, roasted. Floral (r/h) Moss. Mushroom.
Earthy: Barnyard. Espresso. Heavy tobacco. Peat.
Chemical: Charcoal. Diesel (vibe on r/h).

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
Appearance W
Construction I
Combustion T
Flavors/Body I
Strength O

NOTES

  • Smoked/charred/toasted wood note liquefy and up-tick fruit juices.
  • Ash lasts about a half inch. Darker. Ladder-rungs.
  • Oils hit the shaft. Pack soften 1/2 tick.
  • Veg notes get some moist add-ons.
  • Pack and notes soften two ticks, but on oil, not wet.
  • Draw loosens nice in 3/3.
  • Construction/combustion each hold well.
  • Mouth errs a tick toward dry.
  • I WANT BLACKBERRY MANISCHEWITZ.
  • Fantastic smoke pace.
  • Not overly delineated nor nuanced.
  • Pleasant and performed well.

SMOKE TIME
95mins

FINAL GRADE
****B+****

EDITOR'S NOTE
In the interest of uniformity, I will be working from a flavor chart via Stogie Fresh.
("Malt" added by moi, when added.)

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

www.kaplowitz.xyz 2016 Presidential Endorsement

Gentlepersons,

In a break from the norm of this, my small corner of the internet, I shall herein this post wax political. Not of cigars, not of boxing, not of horse racing. I daresay not at all in keeping with the homage du every jour of Shemp's last day

As a trusted media source, I would feel remiss in not endorsing a candidate in the upcoming presidential election. Perhaps I'd feel less so remiss if this particular upcoming presidential election were not of so very much more importance than others before it -- for America doth stand at a fork in the road. 

Like my namesake, Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus, whom put down the plow or perhaps plough to play as saviour to the Roman Empire... I to shall do similar here and then after, similar yet again in picking back up said plow or perhaps plough. In the betwixt of putting down and picking up: I lend my and the entire www.kaplowitz.xyz thing to endorsing a candidate for President of these United States.

Oy, the lifting and the moving. 
I digress.

Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump? I thought and I thought until I could thought no more. Then, at long last, thought neither. Bernie Sanders? No. Gary Johnson? Who? One name alone stood as the gentleperson worthy of my endorsement.

www.kaplowitz.xyz, long story shortened, is officially endorsing as a write-in candidate, President of The International Brotherhood of Teamsters James P. Hoffa. Below are some resources where you'll be able to find out more about this man. This will be an on-going topic of conversation. Most likely.

Lettuce make this happen, gentlepersons. HOFFA 2016.

Best,
Kaplowitz

Kaplowitz Reads Kaplowitz Installment Two

Of all my as-of-late endeavors, I do have a particular fondness for this 'un, gentlepersons. Thanks to ya as always and ever, for yer attentions as I read aloud:

PLAYLIST
Opening Foyle Maduro - Cigar Review
13:40 Arturo Fuente Opus X Lost City
24:15 Weekly Horse Racing Review for June 14, 2016
35:00 Foyle Classic - CIgar Review

Monday, June 20, 2016

Weekly Horse Racing Review for June 20, 2016 - Isabela Firecracker

THE CIGAR
Isabela Firecracker
4x42 Petite Corona Pig-tail Barber-pole
w. Ecuadorian Maduro // Ecuadorian DesFlorada
b./f. Nicaraguan Media-Tiempo

&
THE ACCOMPANYING LIBATION
Spot of Tea
Twinings Earl Grey
Sprinkling of Stevia
SONGBIRD WINS AGAIN
Isabela, as I have stated each and every time I've writ about this fine brand, uses sugar to affix its caps. It's OK, purist gentlepersons. They are not flavored, nor are they infused, and this is a time honored method. Here in the company's Firecracker offering, that extra sugar zetz is at its most caramelized and deepest darkest. Which is in nice balance to why it lives up completely, to its Firecracker moniker. Jalapeno, habanero, bell, banana, and every other number of peppers I can't possibly weak-gut stomach, are on immediate and prominent display. Too, the deeper shade of sugar brings up a more toasted vanilla note -- another flavor bit Isabela is known for. It's a real smack in the mouf, this.

Undefeated three year-old filly, Songbird, rolled on in Saturday’s GII Summertime Oaks by 6 1/2 lengths under jock Mr. Mike Smith. So much, gentlepersons, for the idea of ring-rust being an inhibitor, since she hadn't run since the GI Santa Anita Oaks on April 9th. How good is this horse? The sky doth remain the limit right up until it ain't. As for what's next, we can turn to what her trainer Jerry Hollendorfer offered:

“I don’t know about facing males [in the Grade I Haskell, 1 1/8 miles on July 31 at Monmouth Park]. Mr. Porter likes having input on these things so we’ll talk it over and make a plan, see what happens. I wouldn’t think we’d go to the Haskell, but there are plenty of races for her and we’ve talked about several of them ... I think we’ll stick with the girls for now and see what happens.”

As to Saturday's day at the track, we'll again turn to Mr. Hollendorfer with:

“I was very happy the way she looked going down the backside. She was very comfortable, with her ears up, looking for something. The opportunity presented itself to be just a little off the pace and now we’ve shown everyone we can do that." Fractions on the race were 22.97, 45.95, 1:10.28 and 1:35.71. 

Mouth-feel is a liquid tingle of perfect moisture levels. Ash is shiny pale grey via lotsa crystals. The shaft burns hot but not quick -- lively. It's a lot like what Bukowski makes Mexican cigarettes sound like. A dynamic and nigh charismatic fuse bursting with and to, life. Ballpark peanuts come on in at the end of the opening act.
TEPIN WINS FAMED QUEEN ANNE
Shall we continue with the ladies? Lettuce, gentlepersons. Breeders' Cup Mile victor Tepin overcame many a potential impediment to gain the June 14th Queen Anne win in the opening race of The Royal Ascot. Impediments, ya ask? I shall tells ya: no Lasix, straight course, soft ground, against the boys, and uphill -- both ways... okay, one way. Still though, oy vey iz mir. The tsuris!

Switching gears for a tick, in my ever-so-humble opining, I find 5 Vegas offerings to pair perfectly with the sweet science of pugilism. Isabela does so with the ponies. Especially on the turf, as lush grass grows in the middling of this Firecracker. Lotsa smoke in the smoke-hole and off the teeny footsie. Big white clouds laced with sweet exotic spices, gentlepersons. The tobacco is not forefront, but a faraway backdrop of an aromatic tobacco canvas. By the way: please pinch off each and every pig-tailed offering thou art privy to. It's what Hashem and the roller doth want of ya.

The five year-old mare moves, then, her record to twelve wins of twenty starts and is 15-10-3-0 on turf. Tepin could be headed to The Woodbine Mile next, as well as was mentioned, a trip to Dubai next year. She has now shown an ability to ship and carry form without Lasix.
Line on the Isabela is dead even. Construction softens a tick off light, but has well by now ceased. Draw is quick and easy with the least slightest bit of tension. Pecan vibing in now, candied not by the aforementioned sugar, but by an inherent sweetness pulled up from the tobacco which braces a heightening exotic spice melange. The Earl Grey is making this Firecracker the taste equivalent of attending a Salvadore Dali showing on acid. My palate and tongue have road rash, but gentlepersons, I ain't complainin'. Profile is a medium+. Strength? Drop the +. Notes liquefy to a high and excitable viscosity.

[editor: I am well aware this is 'old' pony news. Are you (now) well aware, gentlepersons, I ain't never claimed to be a breaking news source? So's we understand one-another.]
ZATT'S RANKINGS
At four inches long, a la Mr. Trump's small hands, the final act is essentially the nub and whilst hot to the mitt, it's cool to my pleasantly bombarded smoke-hole. This thing begs Quarter Horse races. Maybe the hounds. Because when I go to the dogs, I expect two things: to smoke quick and lose moolah just as. This Isabela offering got me covered in the first and I've a knack for the second all on my lonesome. Lotsa smoke. Construction and combustion hold fast. Strength found that there +. Very vanilla and verily every insanity pepper known to personkind, gentlepersons. What a kick in the tuchus! With my Earl Grey and Firecracker in hand, I feel like a member of Parliament. The one whom pays his 'mistresses' a bit more to 'ruffle his wig.'

"Who has been the best of American racing through the first half of 2016? Below, you will find my opinions on the best of the best. Note that I’ve only included horses that have run this year. While some of these categories are dominated by one or two horses, such as the Older Males, Older Females, 3yo Fillies and Turf Horses, making heads or tails of our sprinters is near impossible. Things are sure to shake out more as we move through the summer, and I look forward to adding 2yo lists in the near future, but for now, these are our best as I see them." Brian Zipse,  from Zipse at the Track (Read ZATT daily, gentlepersons.)

[editor: I took the top pony of each category and offered up a fine cigar pairing.]

OLDER DIRT MALE: California Chrome - Isabela True Cuban-sized Corona
THREE YEAR-OLD MALE: Nyquist - La Aurora 107
OLDER DIRT FEMALE: Beholder - Leaf by Oscar
THREE YEAR-OLD FEMALE: Songbird - La Gloria Cubana Medaille d'Or No. 1
TURF HORSE: Tepin - Fallen Angel
SPRINTER: X Y Jet - La Aurora Untamed

Candied pecans soar on the shoulders of a newly intro'd greased suede. Workboot. Ah, yes, the help has arrived. I shall have milk toast to mend my tastebuds and a hand to my seat, kind sir. Actually, I was so beside myself at the Firecrackers end, that I snubbed it out in my $0.99 Walmart tray and ran around the block four times in a dead sprint, screaming fight songs of colleges I never attended. Or even heard of. Sadly, this left me with no finishing photograph of the Isabela offering. Instead, I'll post a stock ad image at the end of this post.

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K being the least, Z the greatest
Appearance I
Construction W
Combustion W
Flavors/Body T
Strength  W

Kaplowitz Reads Kaplowitz Installment One

PLAYLIST
Opening: Rocky Patel Broadleaf - Cigar Review
11:45 Weekly Boxing Review for June 20, 2016 - Cu-Avana Punisher Shorty
23:10 Project X: Offering #12 Serie II - Blind Cigar Review (Arturo Fuente Opus X)
29:00 Mark Twain - Cigar Review

Thanks as always, gentlepersons, for the loaning of yer attentions.

Rocky Patel Broadleaf - Cigar Review

PROLOGUE
Busy as a bee, me.

THE CIGAR
Rocky Patel Broadleaf
5 1/2" x 50 Robusto
w. Connecticut Broadleaf Maduro
b. ?
f. Honduran & Nicaraguan

Many a thank ya to Cigars City for this kind offering.
PRE-LIGHT
Leathery looking insofar as eyeballed texture. Hi. My name is Kaplowitz and I thank ya for stopping by www.kaplowitz.xyz, where every day is an homage to Shemp's last one. Cigars, boxing, horse racing, and jokes. Check, check, check, and check. Complexion is somewhat uneven and ranges from a dark peanut butter to a light Nutella. Espresso bean marblings happen throughout. Very medium-thick veiny but with no foretelling of burn impediment. Seams are tight and even, but one is cut a bit oddly and jaggedly so. Cap is a bit short on longer shoulders and is coming up a tick. Foot tobacco is a mousy brown with dirty blonde high-lights and packed to a -full density sayeth mine eyes. Nice flat gloss sheen over-top and in an even manner.

Hand-feel sports a substantial and well-balanced heft. Woodsy, natural almost dry leaf texture. Go figure, gentlepersons. -Full packing density off the Charmin squeeze test and very even. What give there is, offers a lively spring-back to form. Toothy hand-feel and visually it's there too, but the marbling grabs the peepers first. Lifting the Rocky Patel offering to my schnoz, I get a creamy mocha leathery hay sensation. At the foot is a bit of a sweet peppery note addition.

I cut the cap with a cutter. A Xikar Xi2 cutter. It cuts. The draw tension is a medium+ resistance and offers cold notes of sweetly spiced cocoa with a caramel high-lighted cold finish.

LIGHT
A chocolate laced wood note is the aroma given off as I toast the foot. Lights well and evenly and perhaps takes a bit longer than is average to do so. First hot draw is a nice zetz of pepper front and what follows that is a caramel addition to the mocha. There's a sense of the pepper being restrained. Second hottie is retro-haled to a strong pepper that's again somewhat muted. It's at the forefront but somehow leading from the rears. Kitchen spices come into the middling with the wood note that seems headed to a oak wood shaving. Third pull sees the kitchen spices mix with earth/dirt. Caramel comes in and out of the cocoa. Pepper and wood seem yet to have settled into anything further distinguishable.

Ash is mainly white and the charred tooth takes on a silver tone. Line is even and set to a thin+ thickness. Packing has not softened off Djeep lighting. Draw is very nice and locked in on a medium+ tension. Plenty of smoke-hole saturation and off-the-foot out-put. Room-note is a sweet woodsy leather. Nice smoker, this Broadleaf. We shall see how well it tests.
ACT I
Caramel flits back and forth from becoming more of a honey note. Wood is remaining at oak shavings but also picking up a slightly toasted vibing. Leather slides into the under-belly. Primary is mocha and its makings held up by a pepper note. Middlings are kitchen spices, wood, honey, and a new toasted cream. Construction and combustion are the co-headliners in this RP offering. Ash is a white sheath on an even burn. Smoke out-put is very consistent off both ends.

Finish is a sweet light tobacco of medium length'd legs. Turns to a fresh hay at its ending. Nice and clean. Mouth-feel is a great moisture level on a light creamy body. Profile is a medium. Strength is a light+. Retro-hale is a nice peppercorn sweetened with caramel. Not a full zetz of peppercorn, but a nice one. Ash lilts at shy of an inch and I roll it off in my $0.99 Walmart tray. I can see well the combustion now and toke into my Dollar Store hand mirror. As suspected, it showcases a fantastic even char. Mocha up-top is getting a wing-man of coffee and cream. Pretty neat ending to the opening act, gentlepersons.

ACT II
Smoke texture creams up a tick. A bread note floods into the lower middling, a brick oven fresh loaf of crusty white. The creamy texture marries the notes a bit, but delineation remains. There's a definite sharp and finely ground black pepper zetz on the retro-hale. Peppers have dialed well back on the draw. Ash is in a ladder-rung form now and gets a flake or two.

I'm giving thought to recording myself reading some of my already posted reviews and posting that bit o' audio fun to this here blog. Gentlepersons: thoughts on the matter?

Wood and leather are dancing now. Coffee and cream are an upper middling under the mocha primary. Said mocha primary gets another pull of espresso. A nutty vibe is added to the lengthening finish. Retro-hale gets some coffee beans included into the black pepper. Construction and combustion purr through. This Rocky Patel dangles nicely in the lips, and its smoke is kind in even my sensitive and intelligent sexy green eyes.

Ash surprise-clumps at just shy an inch and my schmatta whisks. Rebuilding burnt offering is of a darker hue and seemingly oilier texture. Denser. Strength is up to a -medium and profile is pushing up to medium+, but not quite there. A very classic blend, this. A very smokeable smoker, this.

ACT III
Smoke out-put hefts up insofar as density. Added espresso shot sharpens primaries a tick. Ash pales. Construction and combustion and all notes thereof, hold fast. Flavor is vastly unchanged lest an increasing honey/caramel hits nuttiness. A dry hay note hits leathery under-belly. Black pepper gets sweeter and creamier on retro-hale. Burn-pace is phenomenally even-keeled. Ash lilts once more again at 3/4" and I roll off a cool solid chunk of the stuff. Room-note gets a graham addition.

A homeless woman approaches my porch and asks if I have a cigarette. I say "Baruch Hashem!" and hold up the remaining bit of the Broadleaf. I cannot recall the last time I smoked a cigarette, actually. Bread note gets crustier, innards stay soft and airy. With the band looming nigh, methinks I shall see no more to share with ya, Dear Reader.

Nub softens comfortably and smoke stays cool as a cucumber.

SMOKE TIME
80mins (approx.)
NOTES
A classic smoker. A fine smoker. Simple nuances and attainable complexities. Would do well with tending roses and propagating mint with which to infest my fat neighbor's yard. He simply won't stop blaring Foxnews Radio and slow jazz. He rides his bike in slow tight circles in the across the street park and listens from there. "Enjoy yer mint infestation," I say under my breath. Over my breath, I say "Weeeeeeeeee!" each time he coasts closely 'nuff to hear.

PAIRINGS
Anything coffee. "Concord Grape Manischewitz," it doth scream.

K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K being the least, Z the greatest
Appearance W
Construction I
Combustion I
Flavors/Body W
Strength L

FINAL GRADE
****B+****

EPILOGUE

EDITOR'S NOTE
You can listen to an audio version of this review HERE.