Stoogies & Stogies: Cu-Avana Punisher Shorty & Brideless Groom

B"H

THE CIGAR

Cu-Avana Punisher Shorty
4 1/2 x 60
w. Habano
b./f. Nicaraguan

I blind-reviewed a previous peppery Punisher perusal pHERE.

& 

THE ACCOMPANYING LIBATION

Spot of tea
PG Tips
Sprinkle of Stevia
(Think of this tea as the 5 Vegas High Primings of tea, hence "Tips.")

&

A handful of Planters dry roasted peanuts.

I wet the cap of this Cu-Avana in my mouth and it burns my tongue. What's wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself? Hi. My name is Kaplowitz, and thanks for stopping by www.kaplowitz.xyz -- yer place on the world wide web to celebrate Shemp's last day. Cigars, boxing, horse racing, and jokes... all with an air of vaudeville and lilt of Yiddish.

Poor ol' Shemp does have more than his unfair share of naysayers. As you know, I rank him myself, as the deepest and most layered of Stooges. I hold fast to his inherent character complexities, as I hold fast to this being the reason that he is overlooked in favor of his little brother Curly, all too often.

Brideless Groom has something for both sides of the Shemp Howard fence. It is at once an opportunity to enjoy his own personal tour de farce, and it also serves as an equal opportunity to see him get his nose for real busted by the lovely Christine McIntyre. The blonde bombshell of Stoogery plays Miss Hopkins here, one of the women Shemp pursues as a potential wife so that he might cash in on his inheritance of half a million 1947 bucks. The injury happens as she pummels him in a classic situation misunderstanding, ending with him prat-falling through a door.

Let me here all at once digress and delve.

On wooden match light, I get the sensation of a Mexican dinner served on a too hot restaurant plate. Don't tell me not to touch it. Don't make it so hot! Also, don't tell me to not think of an elephant, will ya? But the dinner, it's all there, con carne. Green chili peppers, sour cream, I even sense beans. Black. There's even a rough salted starch... tortilla? ... on the retrohale. A 1/4" later, there's cinnamon led red spices and all the rest of the peppers. Black, red, white. White finds some dried red/purple fruit and lingers into the vanilla vibe'd finish. Habanero and jalapeno join in. I'm schvitzing here!

Finish is shorter than the big draw notes of this Punisher Shorty would lead ya to believe. At the end of the day, this bad boy leaves a pretty clean palate. Floral notes take off in juicy dark tropical aloha ways.

This short is very, very slapstick heavy for the Shemp era. Because of this, even the ant-Shemp among we Stooges fans tend to enjoy this offering. The plot is an already familiar one for its time that, as mentioned, involves the death of Shemp's uncle, the ensuing inheritance, and its caveat. Shemp must be married to collect - and married in a hurry - seven hours to be exact. This is possibly in homage to Seven Chances, Buster Keaton's 1925 flick that is borrowed from heavily here. This is a time-sensitive scenario where the ticking clock acts as a very important and comedic character.

Moe: Do you remember your Uncle Caleb?

Shemp: Do I? That old tightwad. He'd steeal flies from a blind spider.

Moe: Well he just died and left you 500 bucks

Shemp: Why that old skinflint (double take) 500,000 bucks? (cries) Poor uncle Kaleb. Like I was saying, he was a swell guy. Give ya the shirt off his back and throw in the buttons, too.

Here we see the verbal give and take that Shemp offers Moe, who must have reveled in the opportunity thereof, because he always longed to be more of an actor. "Sure, and Chaplin wanted to play Hamlet." Moe Howard lamented at the close of his illustrious career.

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A wood which was in the underbelly of scorched compost comes up and distinguishes as a well-seasoned cedar. Dark roasted coffee cooked in a cowboy manner over a hickory campfire, that's happening now. Mouth tingles out onto lips and then threatens my chin. There are some whom say these are schmeared with pepper juice. There are some whom say they are not. All told, there ain't a lot said on these that ain't half rumor. Me? I hate a good mystery. Licorice! Didn't cowboys eat licorice? It's very cowboy, this Punisher. No... bandit. NO! BANDITO!!! Pass me another taco, hombre... and an Alka-Seltzer, boychik.

Ash falls off in a surprise hot oil clump. Shaft is warming, too. I think I'll allow it a tick of a siesta. The PG, gentlepersons, actually holds up well, and the pinch of Stevia gives a bissell sweet zetz. Line is mainly even. Some softening has occurred, but draw has always been a medium+ tension and seams doth holdeth. I get some very dark rich chocolate I don't recall having in the first offering. That said, I don't read my stuff. Good deal of sweet here now; sweat too -- as the peppers ain't dialed back a bit.

Larry gets to show some non slapstick chops here, as well:

Larry: You just got seven hours to get yourself a bride.
Shemp: it can't be done, no woman is interested in me.
Larry: Maybe not, pal. But if ya look real hard, you might find one interested in a half a million bucks!
Shemp: Maybe ya got something there...

Moe and Shemp's phone booth scene is a must see gag that highlights Shemp's physical talents, one of which is his quite ugly, and chock-full of trademarked character, mug. There is a subtlety in Shemp's slap-stick that I completely adore.

Speaking of gags, Brideless Groom features longtime Stooges foil and almost-Stooge, Emil Sitka's famous "Hold hands, you lovebirds!" (The line is engraved on Sitka's headstone.) My dad referenced this line often, as to why he always held my mother's hand. It was so that they couldn't hit each other as easily.

All along, Shemp is pursued by his enamored student, as he is a Professor of Voice, the tone-deaf Miss Dinkelmeyer portrayed by Dee Green - which I talk about here. Of course, at the short's end, the gal gets the guy and the Three Stooges show a women's rights tilt far beyond their years.

Brideless Groom is a woman's world wherein women chase men as they see fit, and unapologetically so. A penniless Shemp sadly strikes out, but a potential half-millionaire Shemp is prey to be stalked by strong-willed women with their own worldly agendas.

A brilliant side-gag here unfurls as the women fight over Shemp's inheritance. As Larry is about to knock out a dame with the butt of a gun, Moe offers his famous, "You wouldn't hit a lady with that." He then takes the gun and gives him a larger one, adding, "Use this it's bigger." Equal Rights meet Gun Rights and The Three Stooges show their social libertarian bent. I swoon.

Burn slows, shaft stays warm, but in the 3/3 of a four incher -- there ain't a lotta wiggle. Tea is splendid. The Punisher finishes cleanly and the tea sits nicely there. While this 'un is sweeter than the last, the sweetness is less delineated. I can't help but wonder if my libation -- any libation -- muddies up the salivas. Mouth-feel is clean and not as tingly as you might think with all the peppers. Great moisture level there.

Line is more even. Pack softening has ceased. My lips and around 'em more than make up for the surprising lack of mouth tingle. I feel somewhat wind-burnt. Nub is hot but smoke is cool... but kinda burns, anyways. There's dos scoops of raisins at the band(ito). 

Watch this romp with delight, and follow it up with Husbands Beware, which uses stock footage from here. We do all know of Fake Shemp, no? My word... All told, fence-sitters in the Shemp highly contested arena of such, are very likely to land in the far greener Pro-Shemp grasses after viewing Brideless Groom. Or well they should.

THE SHORT

The Three Stooges

Brideless Groom

s. Moe, Larry, & Shemp

d. Edward Bernds

w. Clyde Bruckman

p. Hugh McCollum

EDITOR'S NOTE

All content published previously at www.kaplowitz.xyz.

L'shalom