Prologue:
Pt. I of this review can, and should, be read HERE.
(The remainder became rose food.)
The Cigar:
Cuban RejectsVentura Cigar Co.
Maduro wrapper
Nicaraguan & Dominican origin
Torpedo
(I use above only the info found on the company site.)
All things being the same, see the link to pt. for a review of this offering from Pre-light through Light. Also, see said link for a further explanation of what's ahead in --
[But seriously gentlepersons. Please follow that link.]
"Ah, if only I had brought a cigar with me! This would have established my identity."- Charles Dickens
Act I:
8:25pm
Let's let this sucker heat up a tad. I will say, two pulls in, that the smoke output is average and tinny note is present, but not unkind. Ash shows more pale grey and less charcoal. Burn is not even nor is it egregious. Burn-line is not razor, but thin. Construction softens warmly about a 1/2" ahead of the cherry.
A retro-hale with a half inch of ash yields dusty medium profiled tobacco and scorched barnyard. Finish is thin as thin can be and I suppose there is very light berry cola and molasses. On the draw you get a weak cola replacing the seltzer drink of the previous offering. Now a semi-sweet chocolate limps into the mix. It stays onto the finish sans its sweetness.
I roll off 3/4" of ash very lightly packed powder, with a hair more form than the previous offering. Thus far, we are proving, although quite cautiously on my part, the initial selection to be a more correct view. I peek at the nekkid cherry and it is very loosely packed. The burn has cooled some, but it is still very hot and fast.
The footnote is straight up stogie and what yer Mrs gripes on about. Thankfully, its volume is on the light side. All else is light/medium in talks of profile.
A hint of leather on the draw, and dirt on the finish. Moisture level is a hair on the dry side, I sip from this afternoon's pot of coffee.
8:25pm
Let's let this sucker heat up a tad. I will say, two pulls in, that the smoke output is average and tinny note is present, but not unkind. Ash shows more pale grey and less charcoal. Burn is not even nor is it egregious. Burn-line is not razor, but thin. Construction softens warmly about a 1/2" ahead of the cherry.
A retro-hale with a half inch of ash yields dusty medium profiled tobacco and scorched barnyard. Finish is thin as thin can be and I suppose there is very light berry cola and molasses. On the draw you get a weak cola replacing the seltzer drink of the previous offering. Now a semi-sweet chocolate limps into the mix. It stays onto the finish sans its sweetness.
I roll off 3/4" of ash very lightly packed powder, with a hair more form than the previous offering. Thus far, we are proving, although quite cautiously on my part, the initial selection to be a more correct view. I peek at the nekkid cherry and it is very loosely packed. The burn has cooled some, but it is still very hot and fast.
The footnote is straight up stogie and what yer Mrs gripes on about. Thankfully, its volume is on the light side. All else is light/medium in talks of profile.
A hint of leather on the draw, and dirt on the finish. Moisture level is a hair on the dry side, I sip from this afternoon's pot of coffee.
Act II:
Bitter, not overly, but not sour. Bitter. Not bite, per se. Bitter. A hardwood comes in on the footnote and a bit later on the draw. A burnt hardwood. Dirt becomes mulch. There is almost a roasted nut ebbing in and out. I believe the bitterness is an attempt at coffee, an over-roasted Starbucks bean but of lesser birthright.
Construction holds fast. Burn-line widens a bit. Draw has been loose side of medium and it feels as though I should be getting more smoke in my smoke-hole. I correct a canoe before it knows what hit it by evening out the burn via well-trained Djeep.
The finish is kinder now. Fig, but as in a Fig Newton sort of manner. Primary notes are burnt coffee beans, mulch, and Fig Newton fillings. Finish is a vague baker's chocolate with a hint of spice. A cayenne, mayhaps.
I'm loosening up and enjoying myself a bit. Wishing I wasn't out of Manischewitz Concord Grape. Cayenne joins in with coffee. Construction is unchanged. Profile is -medium body/-medium strength/ medium+ flavor in a sour-tasting sort of indistinguishable way. I believe I just heard the wrapper crack. It is not a visible transgression.
Headache inspiring diesel 'notes' are not present. Knock on wood and spit thrice, gentlepersons.
Bitter, not overly, but not sour. Bitter. Not bite, per se. Bitter. A hardwood comes in on the footnote and a bit later on the draw. A burnt hardwood. Dirt becomes mulch. There is almost a roasted nut ebbing in and out. I believe the bitterness is an attempt at coffee, an over-roasted Starbucks bean but of lesser birthright.
Construction holds fast. Burn-line widens a bit. Draw has been loose side of medium and it feels as though I should be getting more smoke in my smoke-hole. I correct a canoe before it knows what hit it by evening out the burn via well-trained Djeep.
The finish is kinder now. Fig, but as in a Fig Newton sort of manner. Primary notes are burnt coffee beans, mulch, and Fig Newton fillings. Finish is a vague baker's chocolate with a hint of spice. A cayenne, mayhaps.
I'm loosening up and enjoying myself a bit. Wishing I wasn't out of Manischewitz Concord Grape. Cayenne joins in with coffee. Construction is unchanged. Profile is -medium body/-medium strength/ medium+ flavor in a sour-tasting sort of indistinguishable way. I believe I just heard the wrapper crack. It is not a visible transgression.
Headache inspiring diesel 'notes' are not present. Knock on wood and spit thrice, gentlepersons.
Act III:
We have accomplished low-level stogie. I say this mainly due to my own trepidations in light of the prior go. We are back to the level of the first offering -- an offering which scratched my stogie itch to near perfection. There is still a constant (in all three) threat of tunneling due to poor packing and no shortage of stems which threaten to bore out a burn trail.
It's a buck. It's worth a buck fifty.
Flavor notes are the same and my relaxation level has reached the point that I can be a scamp and a tramp and suck the decent chew of my ragged and road weary meditations. The Three Stooges would smoke these Cuban Rejects when in character -- and a vastly superior cigar offset.
I purchased this one with five others today. I am glad I did. For a buck. I'll smoke them, I will, and not think hard of the tobacco nor construction. I think I'll review a Shemp short whenst I do. I think I'll suck on it unlit for a good while prior to doing so. I think -- pardon my French -- but I think I have already thought too fucking much.
We have accomplished low-level stogie. I say this mainly due to my own trepidations in light of the prior go. We are back to the level of the first offering -- an offering which scratched my stogie itch to near perfection. There is still a constant (in all three) threat of tunneling due to poor packing and no shortage of stems which threaten to bore out a burn trail.
It's a buck. It's worth a buck fifty.
Flavor notes are the same and my relaxation level has reached the point that I can be a scamp and a tramp and suck the decent chew of my ragged and road weary meditations. The Three Stooges would smoke these Cuban Rejects when in character -- and a vastly superior cigar offset.
I purchased this one with five others today. I am glad I did. For a buck. I'll smoke them, I will, and not think hard of the tobacco nor construction. I think I'll review a Shemp short whenst I do. I think I'll suck on it unlit for a good while prior to doing so. I think -- pardon my French -- but I think I have already thought too fucking much.
I'm glad I did this. Now I will swish some salt water around in my mouth and call it a night. I like Cuban Rejects just fine. I wouldn't recommend them as an everyday, because I already feel the cancer.
I would like to speak to their name.
I would hope a company would have a greater respect for their clientele to not take a jab at their dignity. I do hope to one day have my own line of cheap two buck stogies -- and to treat my clientele as kings. In a shared cheeky manner, of course. I already love all who've smoked a Kaplowitz Gran Reserva. Please remember to remove the band before lighting and to admire me there. Painted in a tattered flamenco dress, surrounded by roses, one long-stemmed and clenched in my teeth. Gather yer aplomb with a Kaplowitz.
(Cuban Rejects have no band.)
I would like to speak to their name.
I would hope a company would have a greater respect for their clientele to not take a jab at their dignity. I do hope to one day have my own line of cheap two buck stogies -- and to treat my clientele as kings. In a shared cheeky manner, of course. I already love all who've smoked a Kaplowitz Gran Reserva. Please remember to remove the band before lighting and to admire me there. Painted in a tattered flamenco dress, surrounded by roses, one long-stemmed and clenched in my teeth. Gather yer aplomb with a Kaplowitz.
(Cuban Rejects have no band.)
Pairings:
Meditation and role-playing with only the slightest focus on the cigar. Too, "Things go better with Coke." ... and cheap coffee.
Meditation and role-playing with only the slightest focus on the cigar. Too, "Things go better with Coke." ... and cheap coffee.
Final Grade: D+
Epilogue:
9:27pm
Not now. If I don't whisk this Cream of Wheat enough, it'll go clumpy.
Further Notes:
This stogie redeemed its brethren, but too, this review was less about that, than it was about my own dreams. Perhaps that, gentlepersons, is what a stogie is all about.
9:27pm
Not now. If I don't whisk this Cream of Wheat enough, it'll go clumpy.
Further Notes:
This stogie redeemed its brethren, but too, this review was less about that, than it was about my own dreams. Perhaps that, gentlepersons, is what a stogie is all about.
"Gather yer aplomb with a Kaplowitz."