Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Further on Each of the Eleven (11) Commandments of Cigar Etiquette I

1. Thou shalt not speaketh with a cigar in thy mouth.
This is just rude, obnoxious, and indicative of posery as well as a severe oral fixation.
Allow me to please first preface this with: a good chew is an important thing for a stogie to offer. Most of my cigar reviews mention this, and if they don't, by all means feel free to assume my grading on such is neutral. I will mention bad, I will mention good. Too, this is objective and not subjective -- so be ever at the ready with your salt grains.

There are enjoyable nuances to cigar smoking that are to be just that -- nuances. Subtleties. Some as solitary as a Zen meditation. The band of a cigar, for instance, is for your enjoyment. Not for the sake of flaunting to others your fortunes and/or misfortunes at any given moment in time.

Throw into that category, the chew -- and by extension, holding a cigar in your smoke-hole. Especially when addressing a fellow human being. 

"Nooking for thomething thpethial?" The cigar shop clerk said to me from behind the cigar case and too, through the cigar in his mouth (poser). "There'th a thmoking loungth in the back. Thofa is empty, too."

I wondered as to his brother, the one I imagine who worked at a delicatessen; serving folks ham by the pound as he chomped on a sub, grinder, or hero (dependant upon your geography). 

"The Baked Virginia Ham is excellent," he'd say from out behind projectiles of ham spittle. He'd then burp real loud and say, "Would ya like a pound of it?"

Remove from your mouth your cigar and/or ham sammich when the mere possibility exists of speaking to someone. Unless, of course, you are J. Jonah Jameson putting the screws to that Parker kid by underpaying him for his photos. See? You cringed there, no?

Place your stogie down in a tray, or hold it -- not as you'd hold a cigarette, for Moses' sake -- and address the person before you with all of the aplomb they deserve. Hint: they deserve all the aplomb you believe that is due yourself. 

I have not been back to said shop which will remain, forever and always, nameleth.
Please be so kind and civil as to peruse the other remainder of the Eleven (11) Commandments of Cigar Etiquette by clicking HERE. Such a mensch.