Thursday, July 23, 2015

Further on Each of the Eleven (11) Commandments of Cigar Etiquette II

2. Removeth thine cigar band prior to lighting
We are not here to flaunt our bemoan our lot in life. We are here for the buzz.
A cigar's band speaks and lends nothing at all to the quality of the cigar it adorns (hello, Gurkha). It is completely superfluous and contributes, too, nothing to your actual smoking enjoyment. This is why a cigar's band is so important. It operates in the rarified air of sophistication and mood-setting which the French call a certain savoir fare -- and what my dad called a certain subway fare. In short, now that I've went long...

We are talking the sizzle and not the steak. We are talking showin', not blowin'. We are talking here about man not living on bread alone, gentlepersons.

We are also tempering all this now, with talking about keeping all this schtick under yer hat.

Ambience. Mood. This is what a cigar band brings to the table. I have smoked quite (almost embarrassingly so) expensive cigars and I have smoked (almost embarrassingly so) ItsABoys paid for with a pockets of coin. I have quickly removed the labels of both these and all points in-between.

Why? ...

Because it is gauche to project, and worse yet flaunt, my failures and/or successes in the faces of others. It's my own darn business -- and yours is yours. We meet here, we Brothers and Sisters of the Leaf, not to succumb to some hierarchy but instead to celebrate our brethren on the commonest of grounds from where sprout the leaves we so adore. Also, we're here to get a buzz.

So enjoy your cigar band. Note your cigar band. Remove your cigar band. It has already set its tone, thus done its job -- don't insist on making the superfluous even more superfluous. That's just silly. 

A final note as to logistics:
There are varying levels of apologists who knowingly transgress upon this commandment. From extremist to wishy-washy, the main to camps are:

"It will destroy the cigar!!!"
These are the extremist fundamentalists. These too are the dum dums. When you remove the band, bear in mind that you are not the Incredible Hulk. You are at this point in time, Bruce Banner. Bruce Banner not smash. Bruce Banner pays attention to what he is doing in a non-ham-fisted sort of manner. 

Bruce Banner also realizes that the cigar band is not attached to the cigar, but instead it is attached to itself at its ends, by a little dab of sticky. Your Cohiba's band is not Crazy Glued to the wrapper of your Cohiba, for instance.

"I only smoke with the band on long enough to melt the glue."
- Imbeciles

I mean if you're gonna transgress upon common courtesy and etiquette, at least do so like a mensch and not a fagalah. Go all in on your tragically bourgeoisie ways. 

Best, though, to be a gent.
You can, and furthermore should, read the Eleven (11) Commandments of Cigar Etiquette HERE

[edit/addendum 6/7/17]
If excess glue doth invade unto the top-leaf, allow the cigar to heat up. It'll loosen.