How to Find a Great Brick & Mortar Cigar &/or Pipe Shop
Below I graciously offer gentlepersons five (5) tips/tricks on how to find a decent spot to haunt--whether you're putting down roots in a new locale, or find yourself just passing thru. They are in no particular order and, as a further user guide, there is no real need to find a B&M that ticks all boxes. I leave it to your discretion in finding your own order of importance, modus operandi. Illegitimi non carborundum
Ask the tobacconist or clerk "What's new?"
Simple enough, they should have an understanding of what was recently brought on-board and why it was. Plus, they should have an opinion of it--better yet a grasp on it 'nuff to place it on a map of Flavortown for you. As in, "You might like it if you like..."
Share what you like & ask for recommendations.
"I really enjoyed the [fill-in-the-blank] I just smoked. What do you have along those lines?" This will further suss out the knowledge level of the staff. Now, it bears mention, if what's new doesn't tickle your fancy, buy the recommendation, or vice-versa. It's a nice touch, not wasting folks' time. Active listening is important in any relationship. [insert string of failed relationships joke here.]
Periodicals are a good sign.
Whether tobacco-related or not, reading stuffs laid about is a good sight to see. Why? Because picking one up & sticking your nose in it will have you left alone if that's your druthers. Also, your fellow customers will be less prone to fiddle with their phones--which is a short trip to having loud phone discussions--if other options are available.
Clean ashtrays, another good sign.
If smoking is allowed on the premises, clean ashtrays are a sure sign of an attentive staff. However, cleaning products should never be visible, this would show laziness, lack of thought, and could speak to it being a rarity that cleaning supplies were, in fact, brought out at all. I remember walking into a joint with a single over-flowing ashtray and visible Windex/bug spray combo in the showcase. I harumphed and bid my immediate adieu. I was all like, "Harumph, adieu!"
See what happens when someone leaves.
I recall visiting a shop once and getting sucked into a group of regulars. We spoke for a spell, friendly as can be, then one left. Immediately, the others began talking bad about the guy. Fuck that place. Leave and don't look back--just know they'll be bashing you when you do go. Toxic vicious back-biting bullshit. The previous sentence fragment is both what is on display & what to avoid.
There ya go. But do not forget there is no small honus here on YOU, the prospective new patron. There is etiquette in introducing yourself to a B&M--which will be delved into in a later post here. Until then, here's a short list of don'ts...
DON'T
- Bring your own & buy nothing.
- Be the Cubans-only guy.
- Be impatient if others are being helped.
- Smell a cigar you don't plan on buying.
- Ask what the best cigar is.
- Flaunt or bemoan your purchase.
Well, whattaya know? That's a pretty comprehensive don't list. Maybe I won't write a separate post, and maybe I will take a nap instead. See, I can be succinct & thorough--if being-so allows for some modicum of laziness on the back-end. This is hard work and I am no hard man*.
*That's not what she said.
@kaplowitzmedia
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