One of my very favorite things about living in the oft chilly wilds of the Pacific Northwest is that it is the perfect time to don these cotton/sometimes-poly blended box-weave waffle-knit beauts almost year round. I am speaking of the natural colored and old-fashioned variety of gentlemanly undies. Not their hoity current illegitimate oft poseur-worn offspring Under Armour compression, base layer, wicking, neon'd colorful chazerai. I recommend Fruit of the Loom. Their sweats, as well. For more on sweatpants and hoodie fashion, read to the end of this post wherest I'll re-post something on it.
For the trivia-minded individuals out there -- and I count myself amongst yous, the long john design as we know and love it today, is credited to one Mr. Frank Stanfield, a Canuck (you might have guessed, due to climate) who patented the design in the winter of 1915. Earlier, in 1898, he and his brother John had developed a product called Stanfield's Unshrinkable Underwear. The rest, as they say, is fantastically comfortable history. If they don't say it, they darn well should.
Prior, and firstly, they were intro'd in 17th century England; an hundred-years later, they became employed as sleepwear, and not simply under-things. They were supposedly nick-named long johns after a famous knife fighter whom done battled in 'em. Or, perchance they were named after John L Sullivan, whom too worn them into sporting combat. It was around the time a' Sullivan that they deviate forever from their union suit cousins and became entrenched in their two-piece format.
HOW TO WEAR LONG JOHNS
Bottoms are worn either over or in lieu of briefs/boxers whenst chilly. Tops are a tick more protocol'd: They are essentially interchangeable with the long-sleeved undershirt. White. Every form of undershirt shall be white. Not pocketed -- that's a Tshirt. We don't wear those, gentlepersons. A full breakdown is as follows; from hot weather to cold:
- Wife beater
- Never wear a muscle shirt
- Undershirt (Vneck or crew)
- Thermal shirt (w/ or w/out under-thing)
- Hoodie
- Varsity jacket (w/ or w/out Hoodie underneath)
Still too cold out? Stay in.
The below was originally published within my Villiger La Flor de Ynclan - Cigar Review post.
CAN I WEAR MY SWEATPANTS TO THE CIGAR LOUNGE?
Yes. From there to three-piece suit. I give that spectrum because I feel the true query is "How slovenly may I dress?" Lettuce just cover, then, all what I know a' sweats. For some care is required and I feel it to be a topic of no small import. And one close to my heart. Close to my thighs...
One must first understand that thou shalt not wear plastic and/or nylon. I'm speaking herein of cotton or cotton/poly blend, heavy knit materials... elastic waist... introduced in the 1920s by one Mr. Emile Camuset... Savvy? Good. Furthermore, there are three (3) appropriate and/or acceptable colors of which to opt, cigar lounge or not: grey, black, and navy blue. Furthermore, furthermore? Soitenly!
- GREY: The classic. The go-to. The cannot miss. Dress down-to-up; light to dark hue'd.
- BLACK: Formal to funky, the more well-worn and age-d, the more toward funky.
- BLUE: Wear sparingly. The novelty sock* a' allowable sweatpants.
Sweatshirts? Glad ya unasked. Color wheel spins under the same afore-listed rules -- BUT -- only wear full zip-up fronts. NO PULL-OVERS. Instead, wear a long-sleeved white T-shirt. White T-shirts are a topic for another FUQ. Quite important, they. Perchance the very most-so.
Care and maintenance of sweats: Shave off pills with a disposable razor. Wash inside-out on gentle cycle. Hang dry. That'll insure less pills to shave. Now get out there and hit up yer B&M, gentlepersons.
*Read the WHAT OF NOVELTY SOCKS? portion of my IPCPR 2017: A Retrospective write-up.
& finally,
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