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| Stock photo courtesy: www.kaplowitz.xyz |
THE CIGAR
My Father CigarsLe Bijou 1922
6 1/8 x 52 torpedo box-press
w. Nicaraguan Habano Oscuro (Pelo De Oro)
b./f. Nicaraguan
A full review of this offering can be read HERE.
A K A P L O W I T Z Scale review can be read HERE.
All 18 Sabbaths (& more re: the project) can eventually be read HERE.
This offering and the remaining are courtesy of Cigars City and my mad March Madness skills.
I
I just had lunch. Box a' Mac & Cheese with a can of tuna thrown in. I suppose what I'm saying is, let's start this Sabbath smoker with a look at its performance -- its construction/combustion -- because I taste canned mercury, overwhelmingly so. Minimal veins and nigh invisible seams of even assemblage. No soft/hard spots. Medium draw with just a hint of a whisper of tension. White ash with some pale grey by toasted foot burnt offering. Even 'nuff but imperfect line of a thin manner. The usual Le Bijou soft corners and nice heft. Excellent balance in the mitt. Great smoke out-put from off each end.
Texture of smoke in smoke-hole is softly smooth. Easy like a pre-Sabbath morning. Slight tingle to tongue. Excellent moisture level on the mouth-feel. I dip my widdle toe into the flavor waters... on a retro-hale... I'm 'bout 3/4" in... I'm lying on my cement porch n the fetal position. Fire -- not smoke -- is pouring out my nostrils and I smell burnt hair. Liquid fire. Napalm? Mommy? As this calms, my head pulsates a tick. Strength. I taste, immediately, a tin can. Are there any other notes to performance I can throw in? Drats, covered 'em all. Darn my efficiency. Room-note! Burnt nose hair and tuna fish. I already washed my hands and doused 'em in rubbing alcohol. I'm an inch in and am wondering as to the pros and cons of switching to a career in selling insurance. Real estate? Avon? Easy, Kap.
Smoke looks different off the foot. Same amount, thinner than voluptuous. Kate Morse, not Anna Nicole Smith. I love a fun-sized gal.
End of opening act. Black pepper, sharp. Crust only of a black bread. Tobacco, darkly heavy with a thin diesel note. Cocoa. Not yet ripe fruit. I feel/taste produce peppers on spikes of nic. Some espresso pours in nicely as
II
arrives. Espresso is very nice and thick, then thins in two pulls. Thus far, the flavors have all been rather thin and bleeding together. Corners are rounded at the char and an inch on down the shaft. Bread is getting some gluten. Yeast. Then falls off. Molasses comes in. Thins. Fruits ripen but are not yet plump nor juicy. Wood rushes into lower middlings. Hard cedar? Some toasted oak. A wine cask. No grains beyond black bread happenings. I am barely holding onto cocoa. Primarily tobacco core; dark and stormy like night. Astringent vibe grows to note on finish. Almond slices... toasted heavily and somewhat bitey. Smokiness drips liquidy into the profile.
Draw tightens to a medium+ but satiates the same as ever. Fully but unkindly in bits. Ash is a tick darker and more flaky. I grab for the schmatta in my back pocket. Smoke is blue-grey gunmetal complected. Burn is even on a thin line. Seams hold fast. Profile is a medium body with medium+ flavors which run together -- minimal if any delineations. Strength is a -full. Is this some type of practical joke?
Picture it. Indiana. 1997. A phone call.
Me: Yes, I have a bad back.
Bowling alley attendant: Sorry.
Me: Nah, I just need to roll with a light ball.
BAA: We have lighter balls.
Me: Like for kids?
BAA: Well, yeah...
Me: Sir. Are you offering me the chance to play with kids' balls?
BAA: ...
Me: Disgusting!
BAA: ...
Me: Sir, I do not ruin the lives of innocent children to chase my own filthy desires.
BAA: Is this some type of practical joke?
III
More thin notes. Diesel palate and astringent tongue. What happened here? How do I file this data? Mottling. A bit headachy. A good bit spitty. Weak compost, peppers black and produce, thinning tobacco in an OTC pipe manner. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
I lay the Bijou down betwixt its secondary and primary bands.
EDITOR'S NOTE
Written prior to the Sabbath. Gut Shabbos, gentlepersons... happy Saturday, goyim.
L'shalom