Let me interject something at the post's onset, which the Stooges shall bear out: hair tonic. Hair tonic - not gel, spray, mousse, pomade, ... - hair tonic. Hair tonic and the confidence it takes to be soitenly yourself. The confidence it takes to be your own Stooge, you marvelous bastard. Just look at ya.
I use Vitalis myself, and as far as what is a hair tonic goes, I don't particularly want to delve into that. I want to talk about the The Three Stooges. Nevertheless - a hair tonic is a liquid. It is designed less to mold and shape, and more to bring about the somewhat illusion of health: shine. Tonic is about a nourished appearance and containment, not control. Your straight hair will not be made to curl, or vice-versa. Neither will your thin hair appear volumized. Hair tonic simply and proudly shakes what yo momma gave you.
Now let us see what it is that momma Horwitz bequeathed her three famous sons. Starting with:
Shemp and His Famous Bangs
Shemp oft called himself, in varying ways, the ugliest bastard in the business. Who am I to argue what the ugly bastard? He was ugly. Ugly and known for the rather comedic effect of his grown-out bangs. I'd rock the look myself, if I wasn't more akin to Curly, folically speaking. Nevertheless, he carved a very nice niche for himself here, and all by being himself. Himself being my favorite Stooge because layers, man. Shemp had layers - a tangent for a different time. For now, we shall continue with
Curly and His Shame
We can learn from the boys not just in their triumphant achievements, but also in their shortcomings and defeats. If this is not the proper forum for Shemp's layers, it is definitely too, not the time nor place for a dissection of Curly's somewhat intricately woven failings.
What was inwardly to Curly seen as a constant source of a chipping away at his ego, his closely cropped hairdo was seen by audiences as a positive and every-man sense of no nonsense (but for the nonsense) style. Personally, I suspect an out-of-control Jewfro left Curly his moniker and no other option but to clear-cut his Larry. I am personally well-versed in the Jewfro and its inherent lack of alternatives.
Curly's hair can actually be seen in his cameo in the Stooge short Hold That Lion!, its thickness lends great credence to my hypothesis.
One reason that the boys are perfect fodder for the acceptance and maintenance of your G-d given quiff fate, is that they run something of the spectrum. We have Shemp's rather straight hair, Curly's suspected curls, and then
Moe's Bowl Cut
In an interview I recall seeing somewhere or another, Moe divulged the origin of his famed 'do. Ever the mother of invention, necessity deemed by Moe, was of a utilitarian bent. He was tired of his wayward hair, so tamed it with a bowl. Tamed it and owned the ever-lovin' heck out of it.
Work with what you got, but first embrace it. Then, find a way to personalize yourself through it - not a way to gain a personality through it (I'm looking at you, lumberjack bearded hipster). Finally, then, care for it. 'Cause ya love it.