PROLOGUE
It might seem as though I've been hyping this write up forever, but mainly, I've been procrastinating. I'm not typically the lazy sort, so I gotta file this one under M for meh. What to say about a cutter? A machine precision surgical style instrument made of 440 stainless steel with an HRC of 57. I mean the thing's got specs, epus! It's a lot more than a little like toasting a foot with a 2,000 degree Jedi Lightsaber.
Maybe I'm just old school. Perhaps I have poor man PTSD, and 40 bucks can better go to a two bundles of cheap sticks on-line, or one bundle of cheap sticks if you support yer local Brick and Mortar.
Nevertheless, I've used this a good few goes now, this Xikar. The time has come now, to review the sucker.
THE PRODUCT
Xikar Xi2 Cutter - Noir Black
"These cutters have blades hardened to a Rockwell C rating of 57, the result is the hardest, sharpest blade you can buy. The body retains the classic XIKAR shape and features a lightweight nylon fiberglass composite in an assortment of metallic colors and now, carbon fiber look and mesh patterns on black.
Xi cutter blades are made of high quality 440 stainless steel with an HRC of 57.
All Xi cutters are the same ring gauge: they will cut a 54 ring gauge cigar in half. Depending on how much cap you cut, they will cut up to a 60 ring gauge cigar." - from www.Xikar.com
FORM
This category might contain both my largest bugaboo AND my greatest support. Good news first, shall we?
It's got great presentation. I was gifted this beaut, and upon opening the substantially built dark charcoal box, I let loose an audible "wow." Those whom know my A+ criteria, know that's a pre-req for that grade. As when you open a Gurkha or iWhatever box, you know you are peeking and peaking into a higher tax bracket's zip code. Soon, though, you realize there is better tobacco elsewhere, and cheaper. As does Android do much the same for a fraction of cost. Although I do believe of the three, Xikar's performance holds to the higher level it advertises. Actually, I got a bugaboo which stems from the packaging, but we'll get to that in a tick.
Now for the bad news. It is completely outta whack with what is so meaningful in my own cigar smoking experience. It pretties up the ugly and machines up the humanity. I'm no nature freak, a day outdoors sounds pretty awful to me; unless we're talking a ballgame, dog or horse track, or urban park bench w/ stogie. But I cling to the organic soul of a cigar. As well as to the many human hands who handled it on its way to my smoke-hole. Cold steel is an abrupt abortion of this meditation. In this way, the term "cutter" could not possibly be more sadly apt.
Is it good lookin'? Heck yeah! I could tell it's superior to a freebie or lesser piece of weaponry at the very briefest of glances. It's like showing up to a knife fight with a Star Trek phaser. No one'll argue yer being impressive. Let's lookit dem looks. It is not black. It's listed as Noir Black, but it's a dark matte charcoal to my eyes. Company logo is on the blade. Pretty cool how it butterflies open at a siver-toned button-push, then snaps closed at a snip. But that's more --
So much of this might sound familiar, as I have spoken it in vast quantities before -- but it's a small cutter. Ergonomic, sure -- but small in my freakishly largess hands. My virile, masculine, strong yet tender hands. Its design gives a nice view of yer snip, far better than the previous freebies I've had. How does it stack up to those freebies? It blows them outta the water. It's sharper, faster, cleaner, more precise...but we're simply cutting the glued-on cap off a cigar, gentlepersons. Mayhap we need to calm almost entirely the heck down.
Can this "blowing outta the water" be detromental? Can it be, for lack of a better way of putting it, too good? In a way, yes -- and sure, I'll elaborate. I used the Xikar to cut a Cooperstown Cigar Co. Cooperstonian. In the review HERE, I almost had the Xikar mangle the stick because it tried taking on a zaftik stem which I freebie woulda been stopped dead by. Too, a mouf coulda felt.
Packaging is again wondy. But that's the visual. Functionally, it's a pain in the tuchus. Open Xikar box, carefully remove Xikar cutter, line up, snip, push-button-open back up to clean ugly filthy leaves of disgusting 'baccy from pretty shiny pristine-clean sterile metal, replace in velvet-like lined box, cover w/ Xikar emblazoned lid. I'm tired from just typing that, gentlepersons!
I understand that if you sign up at their website, Xikar gives you a "free" Xikar bag/sleeve to carry your Xikar cutter around in...ENOUGH. Xikar and me: we be cool. I think we be cool, Xikar 'n' me.
THOUGHTS
Have I not already thought enough? Oy vey. Here's something else: it is the perfect gift for the cigar smoker in yer life. Unless you are sure as to his/her profile wheelhouse, gentlepersons, don't gift sticks. Unless you are sure of their eye for furnishings, gentlepersons, don't gift humis. I suppose lighters are another perfect gift. Also, my birthday is mere days away (2/25). HERE is where you can send me presents. Too, I never so much met a profile I didn't like or at least appreciate.
As a gifter, you crave that giftee's "wow." And yer long gone on down the road before said giftee fires up his ridiculous blog.
FINAL GRADE
****A+****
Cannot recommend
****A+****
Cannot recommend
EPILOGUE
Thanks, Gabe. You are without a doubt, my very favorite Brother-in-Law.
Now if you'll be so kind, Dear Reader, as to excuse me... I'm headed over to www.Xikar.com to register this thing and get the bag/sleeve. I'm looking at it now. A sheath. Nice!
POSTSCRIPT
Register, confirm email, WAIT that was for a newsletter? I'm now a member of Xikar Nation? I usually run these groups by my Rabbi before joining. Where do I find the warranty and sheath thing?! ...