The Three Stooges "Sing a Song of Six Pants" 1947

Moe Howard
Larry Fine
Shemp Howard

Directed by Jules White
Written by Felix Adler
Produced by Jules White

Virginia Hunter as Flossie
Tiny Brauer as Terry Hargan
Vernon Dent as Detective Sharp

(You can YouTube the short. I used to embed videos in these posts -- 

but more often than not, they were taken down at the source.)

Love the old school settings involved in so many of these shorts. Today's is a tailor shop, also selling used clothes cheep. It would appear, however, that its primary source of income is cleaning, pressing, and altercations. Actually, the boys might not, in fact, have a primary or secondary source of income. They are actually about to go tits double-breasted suits up.

We open with two bits (no shave and/or haircut) that involve Larry chasing a beam of sunlight mistaken as a spot, through a pair of trousers. He too eventually winds up taking a swig of cleanser instead of that other bottle and spit takes on Moe. That don't end well for the Stooge in the Middle. Shemp, the fine purveyor of the other opening gag, is sitting on a table tending to mending a pair of slacks as he is wearing them -- wait -- he ain't wearing them at all! Yowzer.

Betwixt these spots, we learn that the boys are deep in hock with their tailor equipment and will be repo'd in 24 hours. $321.86? I couldn't, gentlepersons, come up with that NOW. We know the debtors mean biz, as well, one simply does not trifle with the Skin & Flint Finance Corporation. (I. Fleecum, President.)

Any time ol' Shemp references his own "pretty lil face," well -- let's just say he had me at "pretty," the ugly mug.

RADIO NEWS FLASH: Cops are scouring the city for Terry "Slippery Fingers" Hargan (Brauer). Guy's robbed 18 safes in 9 days! That's almost 2 a day! A "Large Reward" is being offered.

But first a snack. Moe makes Larry and Shemp a pan cake feast on a hot clothing press. Has anyone penned a Three Stooges cookbook yet? Why not, then?

Scissors are silverware. Right? In my book and in this short, yup.

Back to the action. Mr. Grant's pants need hand-pressed and Boss Moe gives the task to Under-boss Shemp. Having been rolled up in a window shade, they refuse to lay down on the board for poor Shemp. Occasionally, he rivals his brother Curly's physical stoogery -- and this is one of those occasions. Even more rare, though, is when he looks and even sounds a LOT like Curly and seems to almost pay an homage to his little brother. All told, it's a fantastic bit of slap-stick by Shemp. He ain't just a verbal stooge. Although those nuances remain alongside the hyperbole. Smart dumb stuff, this.

What's this??? Customers!!! Slippery Fingers is on the run and runs right into the shop to hide amongst the mannequins. Detective Sharp (Dent) is hot on his heals and the boys inadvertently run distraction on the cop by trying to sell him a cheep suit. Look out for a Larry cool nuance here, when he undresses Hargan to sell Sharp his pants, and senses something ain't right.

A nice bit here --

Shemp: Where'd ya get this mess? (fingering Sharp's suit.)

Sharp: Here.

Shemp: Oh, what a beautiful mess-terpiece.

Another --

Shemp: This is 200% wool/

Sharp: 200%?

Shemp: These sheep led a double life.

Hargan gets away and hi-tails it back to his hideout where Flossie (Hunter) and two other associates await. Flossie shoots him some feces re: his showing up sans pants. Sassy broad. He in turn sends her back to the tailor's to collect his articles of clothing. You see, there's a code to a safe in the watch pocket of the pants. He wants to pull the heist pronto. 

Right prior to Flossie sauntering into Pip Boys, Moe discovers the piece of paper and recognizes it for what it is. But what does the monogrammed TH on the suit jacket mean? Teddy Hoosevelt, of course (Shemp)! No, Thomas Hedison (Larry)! Upon further Moe inspection, Terry Hargan is embroidered on the suit. 

I want my name embroidered on all my clothes. KAPLOWITZ. Wow. I can sees it now. Where was I? Oh, yeah. HARGAN WAS HERE! 

[Stooge interlude]

Shemp: Who made that hat? (eyeballing a customer.)

Customer: My mother.

Shemp: I thought so.

Now Flossie tall and languidly makes way up to the counter. She spots Hargan's Gabardine threads right off and pays the boys with a roll of bills from the suit jacket's pocket. $450 big ones! Wait -- she gives them a 50 and keeps the rest. Dames. Did I mention Moe cuffs the safe combination? He does. Oh, boy...

That thing that Moe does with the scissors to Shemp's nose made me for realz cringe wonderfully.

Anyways, Flossie returns to the hideout and Hargan is none too happy to find out the combination is no longer in the pocket. He's even less happy to find out "they" took his bankroll. "C'mon boys. We're going calling." I always wanted to say that. Actually, I have said it. Many times. I've always wanted to say it to someone who would listen and then tag along, however. I say it to potatoes on their way to the fry pan, etc.

This is gonna get good --

It's showdown high noon time at Pip Boys. Three on three for all the marbles. I am not sure what the heck is up with those fake beards. I sense they simply had them laying around. I too sense a tad of Hasidic Face. Nevertheless, it's go time. "Cut it out, I'm ticklish!" - Moe Howard.

Also, Larry exhibits some quite legitimate Kung-fu. But it's Shemp that is allowed to shine here as he takes care of Hargan all on his lonesome -- while hanging helplessly (OK, haplessly) from a rotating coat rack.

In the interim, Moe and Larry team up to give a guy third degree burns in comedic if not oddly naughty fetishist style. Although I could just be reading too much into it. Lots of hot iron lingering around tuchus, though.

All the baddies are subdued and who do ya think strolls in? Detective Sharp. He gathers up the crooks and tells Moe, Larry, and Shemp it is he who will get that "Large Reward." He then gifts the boys tickets to the Policeman's Ball. Fornicate upon the PO-lice.

Tickets to the Policeman's Ball? Shemp bawls and wipes his face on an out-on-his-feet Hargan's suit collar. Only to find his stash pocket there. He grabs a roll of greenbacks and Sharp grabs Hargan off to the clink.

Shemp addresses the wad of cash: "One hundred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred, five hundred, and fifty..." With a pffft he crumbles up the fifty and tosses it aside. The others pfft, as well. Then all three come to and jump on the 50. Take THAT, both Skin & Flint!

Trivial Trivialities:

Director Jules White is the radio announcer.

"Sing a Song of Six Pants was remade in 1953's "Rip, Sew and Stitch."

As per (unsubstantiated) Wiki: "It is one of four Stooge shorts that fell into the public domain after the copyright lapsed in the 1960s (the other three being Malice in the Palace, Brideless Groom, and Disorder in the Court). As such, these four shorts frequently appear on inexpensive VHS or DVD compilations."

"Pip Boys," The name of the Stooge's tailor shop, was a riff on Pep Boys, the Auto Store from Larry's own Philly.

Notes:

Shemp makes me fall in love with him all over again.

Final Grade: B+

(The + is for Larry's delivery of "Brother." Look for it.)

From the Desk of

KAPLOWITZ

Picture it:
Temple Beth Israel. Eugene, Oregon. Yom Kippur. 5776.

Mrs. K and myself are sitting at the most solemn of solemn services. She turns to me,
"You're dressed like one of the Three Stooges."
"I AM!?!?"
"Oh, crap."
"I was going for that!!!"
"Shut up."
"Shemp. Did I nail it?"
"Shut up."

Oh, I nailed it, alright.

TWO HAPPENINGS AT THE BLOG
I have reposted, and will soon post new, Three Stooges write-ups. It's completely ego-driven self-indulgence, yes. Too, I believe it sets a nice tone. Looks good on my resume, as well.

Secondly, please note the addition of my own personal Wooden Indian, courtesy of my artist pal Greg Donchatz.

I know that in our current year of 5776, this little piece of American Iconography is frowned upon to no small extent. However, I beseech you to realize that no ill will is intended. I am simply hearkening back to a simpler time, when we were -- well -- simpler.

A time when literacy was far from common. A time when symbols were a far more universal language than was the written word. A time when you wandered into town and recognized a saloon by its swinging doors, a barbershop by its pole, a pawn broker by its three balls, and a tobacconist by its folksy wooden statue of Mel Brooks gazing majestically off into a spiritual plain distance, holding an offering of cigars under his beautiful headdress.

See, that's lovely.

Thanks for reading.

Best of wishes,
Kap

Half & Half - Pipe Tobacco Review

lo-fi & lovely

Half & Half - Pipe Tobacco Review

[This review has been (lightly) edited 7/19/2021]

The Pipe Tobacco:
Half & Half
Bright Virginia/Burley Blend
Aromatic style
Anisette, Cherry, Licorice flavorings
Ribbon cut
1.5oz pouch

The Pipe:
Missouri Meerschaum

Country Gentleman

Lights well enough. Fresh from the pouch, you'll need to heavy re-light post char, after a short drying-wait, the char will bring you well into the bowl with slight help. Very toasted nutty nose to that char. 

Bowl:
Dries the mouth a bit here and there. I get the sense of some burnt truck stop coffee fully loaded with cream and sugar. That actually makes for a decent pairing suggestion. Room note never gets too far into medium and remains kindly mellow exhibiting a sweet nuttiness that highlights the best of Burley... In the sense that it avoids cigarette meanderings/odors. It does waver a good deal to a very light room note with nearly indistinguishable notes.

Retro-hales showcase an added sense of tobacco over topping, namely a nicely sweet bright Virginia with a tad of light melon fruitiness. All told, there is a nice delineation of tobaccos throughout, and at times the flavorings shine individually, as well.

Light will need retouching if you let it sit much at all. It's a workingman's smoke and seems to require your steady laboring. A cool smoke, but not an even-keel nor calm one. Burns rather quickly. There are oft fluctuations in body, mouthfeel, and room-note. None underwhelm nor transgress, but they do vary and remain unrestful.

Some prune notes appear on the draw about halfway through the bowl. They remain to the finish and leave prior to the heel. As that note heats, it gets somewhat syrupy and approaches a sourness. Really not a bad smoke, tho. Serviceable and unpretentious. Perfect to jam in a Corn Cob, but might seem odd in a Briar, ghosting issue aside. I always recommend clay.

Heel:
Somewhat problematic. Many offerings are prone to bite here, but this one is more prone than most. Some lighting issues do not help with this.

Flavorings intensify as it heats, but all told it's still a fairly cool smoke--so the crescendo isn't deafening per se. Ash is white enough but it is very hard to evenly burn the heel without getting bit. Be a little careful here, gentlepersons. Finish is cherry and nutty. The licorice is noticeable here and has a nice set of sweet legs. The sweetness avoids being cloying due to a roasted (wal?)nuts tightening.

Final Grade: C+

@kaplowitzmedia

::: very :::

Breaking in A New Corn Cob & Black Cavendish Lowdown + Review

Word on the street is Corn Cobs don't need "broken in." Well, once upon a time, word on the street was I scored with Andr*a Buon*fede. Neither of these is true. To my credit, however, I only am responsible for one a' them.

Breaking in A Corn Cob Pipe:
Firstly, let me clarify what I mean when I say Corn Cob. I mean Missouri Meerschaum. Period. They are the Rolls Royce of Corncobs, are readily available, and won't bust even my stringiest of shoestrings budget at under fifteen bucks a pop for just about any of their models. There is simply no good reason to grab at anything other than an MM.

The model I'm looking at breaking in as I type is the Country Gentleman. The tobacco employed is a Black Cavendish head shop house blend. Both having been procured in one fail swoop at my local B&M. <twenny bucks, out the door.

For those too lazy to click on the link above, here are the specifications at a glance--

Length (straight): 6 in/152.4 mm
Bowl height: 2.25 in/57.2 mm
Chamber diameter: .75 in/19.05 mm
Chamber depth: 1.5 in/38.1 mm

I shall now digress. 

Here, have a flourish and read on to learn about the afore-promised

Breaking in A Corn Cob Pipe:
First off, in the world of Briar, it's all about building cake. In the world of Corn Cob -- it is quite the opposite. You want to avoid that build-up. After each smoke, go at the bowl with a stiff pipe cleaner. This will maintain the bowl's breathability, and therefore its cool smoking pleasure. Oh, that is good.

Second, your first, say, three (3) bowls are NOT to be trusted insofar as flavor notes. They will be tinged with corn and wood. This means you are doing it right. Especially at the heel of the first bowl -- smoke down past that taste. You are smoking off the wooden shank that extends into the bowl. Some opt to remove it with a knife and treat with pipe mud prior to first smoke, but if you get the same effect by merely smoking -- by all means, I say smoke.

(Pipe Mud is a mixture of cigar ash and spit. If you remain desirous of that tactic.)

Many MMs come with a pipe filter. Immediately discard said pipe filter.

Some MMs use Plaster-of-Paris and/or a lacquer to finish their non-natural offerings, and a black stain on a few models -- like my new Country Gent. If any of this becomes a bother in any way, simply and lightly sand out the bowl. Natural alternatives include the Pride or Eaton, or the new Natural Freehand. My next pipe is either going to be an MM hardwood model, or a Freehand.

That really is all ya need to know, gentlepersons, about breaking in a Corn Cob.

Fine, but
What is Black Cavendish?:

Glad ya asked.

There are three main types (varietal families) of pipe tobacco:
* Virginia
* Burley
* Turkish Oriental
There are three popular ways of processing these types of tobacco:
* Cavendish
* Perique
* Latakia
Therefore, we have pinpointed Cavendish on the tobacco map.

Cavendish History:
In the late 16th century, Sir Thomas Cavendish, while on expedition to Virginia, Noted that dipping tobacco leaves in sugar provided for a milder and more mellow smoketh.

Cavendish Method:
Cavendish can be produced from any variety of tobacco -- but is normally made from its original flue-cured Virginia, or an air-cured Burley.

After that initial curing, a steaming process which includes sugar and flavoring agents. After steaming, the tobacco is stored under pressure for anywhere between a few days to several weeks. Additionally, casings may be added at any time along the process. Sometimes after, as well.

The particular color of Cavendish depends upon the flavorings employed. Flavorings nowadays typically include, but are not limited to: cherry, chocolate, coconut, strawberry, bourbon, walnut, rum, et cetera, etc.

This particular blend:
(A rather 1/2-assed review)

Black Cavendish
(GJ's Smoke Shop)
I see VA and some Burley (maybe)
Ribbon cut and crumbly --
Moisture: Let it dry a half hour+

Tin Note:
(Zip-lock baggie note)
Very cherry, wet and heavy. Some floral notes, some vanilla.
Smells a bit like cheap incense.

Room Note:
Voluminous but not overly odoriffic. Scents of fruit and nuts and a dark muted tobacco. Perhaps a well drink bourbon splashing. Not unkind. Not overly clingy.

Char:
12:24pm
Tobacco wishes to turn to dust upon handling, yet still retains too much moisture for my liking. It is said that Baltimore, ironically dubbed Charm City, sports the efficiency of the South and charm of the North.

That.

Still, the char catches well and continues on, not immediately needing a re-light. I'm imagining, if this follows suit with my previous three bowls, I'll run off the char a good 2/3 down. I chalk much of that up to the pipe, however.

[To be clear, I am using the MM Country Gentleman as listed above.]

Char is burnt coffee and cheap booze of some sort. A tad of walnut adds to the bite of burnt coffee (NOT tongue bite). Unfortunately, there is no counter-balance as of yet.

Bowl:
Mellows. Allows an almost red fruitiness in, but a synthetic one...candied and nondescript. Smoke is very cool, medium to full output.

Some floral qualities now and they appear on the back of a molasses. Mouthfeel is quite light. Finish is booze and vanilla with undertones of wet soil and hardwood. A retro-hale adds to the dampness. Too, introduces a salty bit that drops to my palate surprisingly dryly and loamy.

Mild to medium body. Medium flavor. Mild strength.

Banana/coconut pina colada. The soil drys and as it does becomes a bit sandy. A cherry appears from the vanilla draw portion which now grows from the aforemenrtioned floral notes. It stays 1/3 way through the finish.

Finish is now that bourbon with a note of salt and some dried red fruit in the distance. It's on medium - long length and you might want to take another pull before the end lives on as only a synthetic born aftertaste that continues to warm on the palate.

Right at 2/3 I need a relight and a tamping. I don't over-tamp because a) I never do, and 2) I don't want to jam moist tobacco into the heel.

Dollar Store pina colado mix (because it's the first of the month somewhere) with an ebb and flow of synthetic cherry. Some leather notes now. Not entirely unpleasant, although I tease it somewhat. I kid because I love. I kid because I like? I definitely don't hate...

Moving on.

Could use a truer more inherent sweetness at the beginning while the sour notes hang about. Could use a fuller body throughout -- on the back of a darker more mature tobacco note. Serviceable, nonetheless.

Would I buy a tin? I'd but an ounce once in a while. I'd smoke it as not the focal point of my doings -- ie: yard work or puzzling out a puzzle.

I get my first true ode to Burley in a not wholly pleasant way, as the room note's wake is a bit remindful of cigarette smoke.

Heel:
I relight here, and might not bother if not for still breaking in my new MM.

Notes:
Feh!
1:04pm
One would be correct in expecting longer from a bowl this size.

I shied away from "bite" as in tongue earlier, but this blend does seem to want to do both. Especially at the final third. I feel like all of what I admire Corn Cob pipes for, saved this from being an all-round lousy affair.

Final Grade: D

Thanks for reading, gentlepersons. This was a long one, go take a nice stroll.