Excerpt III from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

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Excerpt III from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project [UCD]

Gran Corona See: A (Size).

A (size) Otherwise known as Grand Corona by Cuban standards, is a vitola measuring nine and a quarter inches in length by a ring gauge of forty-seven. Non-Cuban factories allow some deviation from these dimensions. Short Robusto, Rothschilds–tomato, tom-ah-toe. But who the hell says “tom-ah-toe?” or “Short Churchill,” for that matter. A short Churchill would have never been able to stand up to Hitler. Thanks for embarking upon my glossary. First entry. More on Churchill later. No more on the other fellow.

"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."

Hand Rolled A term at times used interchangeably with Handmade. Could mean the exact same thing–but could also be a work-around of sorts. Hand-rolled can also mean that the wrapper leaf alone is rolled-on by hand, while the bunching is done by machine. Tricky business, eh? Plainly, only Handmade means 100% made by hand, sans machine.

Does anyone remember that Hand Rolled cigar flick from a little bit of time ago? I've not gotten around to seeing it yet. That's neither interesting nor (particularly if you know me) surprising. But here is something I'm cooking up for the UCD that might SHOCK YOU... A is for Apple. B is for Boy. Amazing, huh? But that's not all. 

I'm thinking that each chapter or letter will begin with a C is for Cat, type opening. Except C would be, say, for Combustion. In other words, a thing not with its own entry but one that I could tell a cute little story about. C is for Combustion, have I ever told you about my Great Uncle burning his house down with my Great Aunt asleep inside? Didn't happen. But a cute little story. These will be more cigar-related.

Inhale If ever mentioned in cigar smoking circles, always in the manner of drawing smoke into your mouth. Never your lungs. Retro-haling, blowing smoke out your nose in order to more greatly engage your olfactory senses, does not involve taking smoke into your lungs. 

The importance of retro-haling, as of late, has been severely over-stated. More important than learning how to force smoke out of your nose, is learning to sit with the smoke in your mouth. Roll it around in there. Chew it. "This is a delicious cut of prime rib." States the cigar aficionado, immediately after blowing half-chewed chunks of cow out of his nostrils.

The old Cuban masters would think you were nuts if they found out you blew smoke out your nose. I feel like a lot of this retro-hale craze is due to the need 'cigar media' has for content and points of discussion. Heck, even I discussed the retro-hale for an hour on an old podcast of mine. No regerts. I believe my concluding advice was "Take a draw. Keep your mouth tightly closed. You will eventually either retro-hale or die." 

::: WHAT DID I JUST READ? :::

As you Gentlepersons hopefully know or are at the ::: very ::: least now FINALLY aware of under that rock of yours, I am constructing a Cigar Dictionary. A book. It is yet to have been named. Its working title is "Unnamed Cigar Dictionary" (UCD). I will change that "As soon as possible" (ASAP). Nevertheless, the idea of the whole thing, the game plan, is that I will blog the process of creating & assembling the UCD on a non-scheduled basis. 

Included in these blog posts will be my italicized thoughts regarding said creating & assembling process--and as we get closer to it being a book proper, the process of that, as well. THESE WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FINISHED BOOK. Please note that not everything, including the whole or part of definitions, will appear in the finished book. 

::: FONT GUIDE :::

Excerpt from the work-in-progress book (UCD).

My thoughts on the work-in-progress book (UCD).

Italics within definitions are directions to see that entry.

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::: very :::