On the Importance of INTENSITY in Cigar Reviews | A Kaplowitz Media. Cigars Think Piece

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On the Importance of INTENSITY in Cigar Reviews | A Kaplowitz Media.  Cigars Think Piece

Hi. My name is Kaplowitz Media. and I write cigar reviews. 

I began writing cigar reviews half a decade ago, which sounds more authoritative than five years ago. I began by writing quite lengthy reviews. I then shortened my format. Then, I began futzing w/ 25wd. micro-reviews (which I have since brought back under the moniker of Quick Reviews). 

Long story short, I settled on a few (3) short paragraphs for typical full-length write-ups. It seems like the sweet spot of reader retention and scratching my writing itch. Bearing in mind that the world at large and Cigar Aficionado reviews in small -- have nurtured the nature of shortened attn. spans. kkthx

I got to thinking last night: how short can we go? I get that way sometimes, a Zen-esque need to snuff my own candle and reach toward Nirvana. WRAPPER | BINDER | FILLER. ORIGIN | FORMAT. INTENSITY. all mandated. intensity... my flavor/body/strength take, averaged-out. 

FLAVOR = taste

BODY = how taste plays in mouth

STRENGTH = how experience hits you physically

Now add these:

TASTE:

DRAW: 

BURN: 

BUILD:

Carefully focus on the last 3. Not now but whenever. That leaves TASTE for now. In terms of my usage, that's a rating of how close the blender came to their profile mark. Now bring back INTENSITY. & realize that each level of intensity should exhibit certain characteristics. Here's what I mean on a power-scale of 1-10. 1 being the lowest and your mother being a whore. sry

1-3: creamy floral herbaceous
4-6: pepper spice leather
7-10: coffee chocolate meaty

The finest offerings exhibit themselves the best. Level 1? Better be complex af. Level 2? Better pull some from each surrounding level & be well-structured. Level 3? Allow lower levels to be seen. OR ELSE: Level 1? Bland. Level 2? Peters. Mottles. Level 3? Linear. 

Here's a review...

WRAPPER: Ecuadorian CT Shade
BINDER: Ecuadorian
FILLER: Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Nicaragua

FORMAT: Corona (644)
ORIGIN: [redacted]
INTENSITY: Mild/Mild-med.

TASTE: B+
DRAW: A-
BURN: A
BUILD: B+

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

Perfection! (The review.) But who would read it? Furthermore, who would need it? Adept 'nuff smokers to decipher it, have no real use for it. n00bs are lost. Plus, there is no art. See, I have bullshitted myself into the belief that a reviewer's job is to make art from art -- ekphrasis.

Then, there is the reality that I am a professional taster & single mom. With all this unpacked then packed, I include...

NOTES:
Exotic spices | Tea leaves | Clotted cream

I mean it does give more info but also, it can be seen as redundant. Or as marketing fodder. & definitely not as entertaining. So I add (25) flowery words. See: professional taster & single mom. I need asses in seats to lure potential advertisers. Guys, call me. I'm doing the phone thing w/ my thumb & pinkie up to my face. Call me.

Softly-mellow dreamy,; yet not without elegance. Citrus underpinnings wrapped in suede. Softwood bracings -- pine. Top-notes of unerring/unwavering delivery. Somewhat hypnotic and really quite lovely-feminine.

But do you really know more each&every step of the way? 

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

kaplowitzmedia@mail.com

::: very :::