Blow it Out Yer Nose, or: Retro-haling, A Cigar Primer

One of the things I get asked about the least is "How should I weather-proof my deck?" In nigh the same neighborhood of infrequency resides "How do you retro-hale?" Yet when I bring it up, I find myself educating. People don't even know to ask? When can I join one a' them teacher unions so that I can stop teaching? It's so tiring! I'll commence.

WHAT IS FLAVOR?

We retro-hale because it enhances the flavors we can sense. That slight aside outta the way, what we call ‘flavor’ is a combination of taste and smell. Ever sit down to a meal with a plugged nose? Not overly enjoyable, as you can’t taste a thing -- unless it’s day three of the wife’s meatloaf. 

The sense of smell is closely linked to memory. Closer than any other sense, they say. I taste cocoa, potentially. I taste a woodsiness, potentially. I taste a toastiness, potentially. Campfire? S’mores! I remember loving them when Uncle so and so took me camping wherever that place was all them years ago...

Potentially? Yup. A premium cigar is a 100% natural tobacco product. It is derived all from the same plant; in different primings (cuttings) then to undergo differing fermentations. It is grown in varying countries with varying characteristics of their nation’s soil as influences. All said and stated, “Tobacco” is verily a valid response to the query, “What flavors or notes is that cigar giving you?”

Also valid as a response would be, “S’mores.” Valid ’nuff is it that I’d guess you were smoking a San Andres wrapped offering if you told me that.

But wait. There are no graham crackers in the soil or seed or cigar. No marshmallow. No chocolate, well… here we have differing levels of subjectiveness; from potential influences to the sheer metaphorical meandering of remembrances past. Going with the S’more theme, there are times when cocoa may grow near tobacco. Less potentially, or not at all-so, there are no marshmallow fields in any of the major tobacco growing locales.

Lettuce read further to find out how to get more pretend stuff.

WHAT IS RETRO-HALING?
I s'pose that is an important question. Retro-haling is simply blowing smoke out your nose. See how that’d help taste, given what we now know of it? Good. You’ll be shocked at the flavors you can bring out of the cigars that you haven’t noticed before with a good sinus-engaging retro-hale.

So...

(& finally)

HOW TO RETRO-HALE

First, you’ve already triggered your olfactory system by allowing the smoke to rest and play in your mouth, right? There's no crying in baseball and there's no rushing in cigar smoking. Thusly, some is bound to drift upwards -- that’s what smoke does. Ah, but the retro-hale, proper. Simply, hold the smoke in your mouth and refuse to allow it out the same way it came in. Eventually, you will either expire like a gallon of milk in a July windowsill, or ‘retro-hale.’ There might be a small chance you prove to be one of them lizards that breath through their eyelids.

If you’d rather not risk the big chill -- say you have a pretty wife whose 'meatloaf' you enjoy -- facilitate the process by taking a pull, then SHUT YO' MOUF, then brace your tongue against your lower teeth. Finally, push the meat of it up toward your palate whilst breathing out through your schnoz. Try this with a mild offering first as stronger/bolder cigars can pack quite a fetal position rendering punch!

Here is a picture of Jimmy Durante, no reason:

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Portions of this article appeared previously at Cigars City within their How To Guides section.