Moe Howard
Larry Fine
Curly Howard
Directed by Edward Bernds
Written by Edward Bernds
Produced by Hugh McCollum
Kenneth MacDonald as Dr. Mallard
Cy Schindell as Clarence (nurse)
Fred Kelsey as Smiling Sam McGann
Snub Pollard as Mr. Grimble
Jean Wiles as Nurse Shapely
Wade Crosby as George
Rocky Woods as Roland (nurse)
Moe's "Keep smilin', McGann!" is worth the price of admission alone, here. Too, it is tweet-worthy, as I did so upon my most recent viewing of this '46 short originally titled (or begun work under) Sanitarium Stooge.
But I do get ahead of myself, let us first dissect as I, myself, digress. But even before that, I place my handkerchief/schmata across my lap and light up a Casa de Garcia Red...
&
Nyuk-by-Nyuk Commentary:
We open with none other than the aforementioned McGann (Kelsey) reaming one Mr. Jordon (the uncredited voice of Richard Lane), a phone-answerer at the electric company, a new every-hole and being cut short by the clamour of a ruckus of lead-pipe fallings and, well, Stoogery. Seems our boys landed gigs...
We follow an investigating McMann (who is in great form throughout) over to see Moe and Larry flanking a laid out and tangled in ladder Curly, with pipes upside his head.
Moe: Why aren't you more careful when you climb up a ladder?!
Curly: I only climbed up 7 steps!
Moe: The ladder had 6!
The Tale of the Disappearing/Reappearing Pipe: when McGann walks into the room, Moe and Larry drop two (2) pipes atop Curly's head -- both pipes fall on the floor. You with me? Good. Then, the camera cuts and lo' and behol', one of the pipes is resting on Curly's head. You with me? Me either. To make matters worse, the pipe keeps disappearing and reappearing in different shots. My guess here is that we're seeing breaks in the action in order to facilitate a sick Curly's performance.
Some consider this the high/low-light of Curly's 'obvious' illness, and therefore a sad display. We'll get to more instances in this short as it develops, as well as tackle the subject later on. Suffice to say, this initial production of 1946, coming out of the Stooges yearly seven month hiatus, was the provider of a staunch realization of what lay ahead. Like I said though --
Meanwhiles, it's time for everyone to get electrocuted! (Not you somewhat-above-the-fray Larry.) McGann gets the zap first and then after a couple of pipes upside the head, Moe shows him off with, wait for it, "Keep smilin', McGann!" What Larry does is lead to the dismantling of Smilin' McGann's phone service. Although the phone works well enough for Mr. Jordan to fire his Stooge electricians. LOUDLY.
Moe: Well, partners -- looks like we resigned.
The boys decide they need a rest, and what better a place than Mallard's Rest Home and Clinic: "High altitude , low prices -- no matter what you got, you'll lose it at Mallard's." Reads the brochure that just happens to have been right there. But what will they do for money? Seems Curly has "Something put away for a rainy day," and grabs an umbrella... No really. He keeps a wad of cash in there. Ease up on the fella, fellas.
And we're at the Clinic. It takes no time flat for Dr. Mallard (MacDonald, in his debut and not best Stooges performance) to prove himself a shyster. Saying of a patient: "It's mostly in his mind, but if the patients like to pay us for the privilege of being sick, it's there business." When the boys do enter, we know exactly what they're in for -- but they don't. Until they get a hint of the lowdown by way of their daily schedule which consists of back-breaking work, working out, and road work -- with a breakfast and lunch of a "nice big bowl of milk." And for dinner?
"I know, a nice big bowl of milk?" tries Curly. "No, you drank it all for lunch." Says Mallard. You see it's the good Doctor's idea to "run them ragged and take them for every nickel they got."
It's cited here by mournful and learn'ed Stooge fans, how pained Curly's performance in the office scene was, and how often Moe nudged him cues. I can honestly say -- it ain't so bad, gentlepersons. Even while looking hard for it, nothing egregious occurred to my eyes. Although I could be wrong, because Larry takes his temp and the Super Stooge has a fever of "90 proof."
The nurses aren't the hot numbers the boys had hoped for, and are big burly crooks, instead. "Gentlemen," the crook orderlies address the Stooges; "Who came in?" comes the classic response, as the boys look behind themselves for the answer. This bit is used in the shorts (courtesy of ThreeStooges.net) "We Want our Mummy, You Natzy Spy! Malice in the Palace, Spooks! Rumpus in the Harem, Space Ship Sappy." -- what they fail to mention is that this bit is also and with fantastic frequency, used by me.
"5 o'clock, that's a time to get up if you're getting shot at sunrise." Larry gripes and we say g'mornin' to day number one at the clinic. Another good 'gag' happens here, when Moe instructs the boys to take a good bit of fresh air in, and they all cough. If "Gentlemen..." is mine, coughing at a lung-full of fresh air was my dad's.
Anyways, it's time to hit the gym and Stoogery there leads to the murses getting cold-cocked and one of them spilling the beans while semi-conscious re: Dr Mallard's con. The boys are now alerted and the chase is on. mallard and the murses (decent band name) chase the boys through the facility. Moe, Larry, and Curly need to get gone, but how? Wait! I get it -- Mallard is a quack "That means DUCK."
There's a third murse guarding the door (asleep). Curly has an idea...
Curly: We'll get some grease...
Moe and Larry: Yeah...
Curly: Spill it on the floor...
Moe and Larry: Yeah...
Curly: And slip by.
That's nixed, but before another plan can be fully hatched, Curly sneezes, knocking a vase off a shelf and onto his head. The guard murse awakens and suddenly their only out is for Moe and Larry to become doctors and the pained Curly, their patient.
Moe: Dr. Windbag, I presume.
Larry: Well blow me down. (Once again, nobody delivers a line like Larry.)
It's time to scrub up and get a-operatin'! The boys do their trademarked gibberish concoction routine, and the murse somehow understands it as doctor-speak, handing them one tool after another. They do away with him, only to be troubled by Doc Mallard hisself. As the scene hits a crescendo, Look for two (2) things:
- Curly never gets out of the somersault he attempts off the stretcher*.
- When Curly falls off the stretcher, some say they hear Bud Jamison's voice in the background. Although he was not in this short -- oh and dead by the time of its filming.
A pretty decent foot-chase scene ensues through the halls, into an exploding steam room, and beyond. And remember the patient Dr. Mallard was referencing in "but if the patients like to pay us for the privilege of being sick, it's there business?" Well, somewheres along the way the boys fix his all-in-his-head foot and at the end here, he tracks them down and bestows upon them a thousand bucks in payment of their cure.
"Nearly a million!" Says Larry. Curly offers up the idea of a nice long rest &
Moe: This rest almost killed me!
Notes:
"...it was strange the way he (Curly) went up and down. In the order I shot the pictures, not in the order they were released, he was down for A Bird in the Head and The Three Troubledoers, he was up for Micro-Phonies, way down for Monkey Businessmen, and then up again, for the last time, in Three Little Pirates. In Monkey Businessmen, he (Curly) was at his worst. Moe coached him the way one would a child, getting him to repeat each line after him. We had to shoot Curly repeating one line at a time." -- Bernds, director ( Maurer, Joan Howard; Jeff Lenburg; Greg Lenburg (1982). The Three Stooges Scrapbook)
There, gentlepersons, is an account beyond reproach. Now allow me to clarify my earlier downplaying of this subject. Watch this short (you can find many options on YouTube, none of which I'll post here since they tend to be deleted.) To an unknowing eye, he don't look that bad. Or at least to my own knowing-eye attempt at unknowing.
My point here is this: Kayfabe. Wrestling's secret carny-based language which was somewhat cracked by fans thanks in part to internet things I won't go into. Smarks are -- well -- wrestlers see fans as "marks." (S)marks see themselves as SmartMARKS. Breakers of Kayfabe and insiders. Most are neither, for the record. They get a little info beyond casual fandom and they run, run, run with it. Sure Curly was sick. Sure it affected his performance. Was it so terrible as to be sad? I say nope. But the more it gets lingered on, and by the more smarks who doth linger -- it takes on a place in history it either doesn't deserve, or is spun wrongly.
Wrongly? Yes. Learn about the history of the Horwitz brothers and get a lil bit happy at how they turned Jewface performing on its ear and gained power from it. How they turned being 'othered' into a franchise they controlled (I've cited before their Stranger in Strange Land success**.) Learn about how Moe truly led and the complexities and, yes, shortcomings of his brothers -- how he cared for them. See then, it's all quite happier of an affair. Or at least palatable enough as to not hate Shemp for coming back on-board after Curly's departure.
Better than all that -- mark out, gentlepersons, at the slapstick and wordplay hilarity.
Final Grade: B-
(The story is simply not smooth here and there.
Too, I feel the wordplay suffers on par with the slapstick when Curly isn't 100%)
*The sir was 42 at the time of that filming. I am 40 at the time of this writing. Today I needed a cane to hobble around because I threw my back out. Fighting off four thugs who threatened an old lady? Nah, accommodating my sleeping dachshund by laying in a funny position around her two (2) nights ago.
** There is very good reason that the two shorts which pitted the Stooges against one another, were failures. Read more of what I (& Jon Solomon) have to say about that HERE, under Divisiveness in Stoogery.
I feel we all learned a lot here. Now get steppin' gentlepersons. Imma slip into my long johns.