Rubbing Two Nickels Together: pairing on a dime vol. 1

Remember what I said HERE re: pairings, monies, and whatnots? If you'd rather skip that link to a well written and thought-provoking post -- here are the Cliff Notes. Way to really nail that C, Magna Cum Quietly.

"A true connoisseur can walk you by a bodega and impress you with its offerings and his or her pairings. What palate is required to dole out of deep pockets at trendy spots?" Me.

Tuesday (it's Monday evening as I type this) is the second anniversary of my son's death. Last night, after being weepy all day, I knew I needed to sleep. I forgot how. I stood over my couch (my wife makes an OK living and allows me to crash there) and went dumb.

I should probably take off my shoes first, I thought -- and continued to stand there motionless. It was midnight and the Golden Girls were on. I realized I needed to change the channel in order to see them. Find the remote! I blurted out my epiphany and my motion was regained enough to do so and strip down and go horizontal. Ruby, my dachshund, kept me in place with her chin and chest pinning my shoulder to the cushion.

I was asleep after two of Sophia's Italian curses and one of her picture its...

I awoke feeling better, but always on the prowl for betterer, I rubbed two nickels together and walked the mile to my local market to see Apu. With payday always just around the next corner, I scooped up my pairing:

The Cigar:
Hugo Cassar
Sumatra Wrapper
Nicaraguan Blend Binder/Filler
Churchill
$2.50

The Wine:
Christian Brothers
Tawny Port
Napa Valley product
(note the lack of Port'o' on the label)
19% ABV
$5.79

The Scratch-off Ticket:
5X The Cash
$1.00 (not a winner)

"Thank you, please come again." Apu and me, we like to pretend I have a darn choice. Cute, that.

I should mention a couple of things here. 

Port and cigars go back as far as pork and beans -- or more aptly, fish and chips -- but we'll get to that in a jiff and a half. I am well aware, and well tired of, the knee-jerk reaction of pairing a stogie with a spirit. Yawn. Also, not always as proper as many folks seem to believe. I too am aware proper (un-fortified wines) cannot stand up to most cigars. 

Please, please, pretty ol' please, don't get me started on the new-fangled monstrosity of pairing cigars with craft beers. To each his own does not fly in the face of atrocity. We are speaking separate spectrum, kind gentlepersons.

But Port (of the Tawny variety, in particular). The world's most popular fortified wine (the Port, not the Tawny), now we're talking.

Fish and chips: The English, while at war with France, still wanted their bloody wine fix, gov'nah. So they went to Portugal and fortified their offerings with brandy in order to make the longer journey home. Too, it bears mentioning that the double claro is still en vogue across the pond -- as it 'twas back then. So we are speaking of light-bodied cigars.

Tawny is a heady port, the tenets of which -- if'n you will, and I did -- include firstly and logistically, their far longer shelf life, as compared to the bottle-aged Vintage Ports. Nextly, the tawny variety does not require decanting. Thirdly, and this is a bit of a cheat on my part -- they are notoriously easy to pair. So we have here a more user-friendly fortified wine.

This Cassar stick has a rather definitive hay quality... in the interest of time, HERE is a link to my full review.

Dipping, Swishing, Sipping

If that was a question I asked of myself -- the answer I would return is yes. Of all these affirmative responses, "dipping" will most likely raise the most ire from self-described true cigar smokers. However, my fish and chip friends of yesteryear did it in spades. You see, dipping your cigar in your adult beverage was an excellent way of re-humidifying your de-humidified smoke, seeing as personal humidors weren't quite a thing yet. It too adds a nice flavor to a decidedly non-complex stick.

Swishing, as we are well into a rudimentary primer, is what sommeliers do to not get, pardon thrice my Francois, shit-faced. You get all the palate and finish notes you would with a swig. You just get more before you hit the floor... or cement porch, as is my case. I'm no lightweight -- I simply prefer a meandering marathon to a straight as an arrow sprint. I prefer to savor. Too, I am not a fan of sweating whilst clothed. 

Sipping: uh...we got this one, right?

I will do a full write-up of the Christian Brothers Tawny Port offering shortly and link it back to HERE, when I do. I can, however, preliminarily say that its characteristics are sweet, thick, and cheap -- the same characteristics which I look for in mah wiminz.

I suppose I'll say I served it 'chilled' as I did not first heat it. Heating a tawny is supposed to raise it to a workable alternative to Cognac. Which Cognac, which tawny, and who it was that said this, is unknown. Nevertheless, this CB bottle bore notes of canned (syrupy) red fruit, higher-priced drugstore chocolate and spiced apples with a long, sweet spice finish. Did I mention long? It was, but mainly kind. 

"That's great, but how was the pairing?"

Nice, disembodied, typed voice. Nice enough. Each was made better by the other -- most notably did the Port aid the cigar in distracting the palate from the overly hay notes and by wetting it all down a tad. Less, the hay of the Hugo Cassar dried the syrupy finish from the Christian Brothers palate.

Blowing smoke into the wine offered a nice effect that added a deeper earthiness to the fluid. Too, the chocolate of the port seemed to bring out some of the dormant cocoa from the stogie, although mostly in a semi-sweet earthiness. It was all very nice enough and together, both were better than apart. 

I'd call that a win/win, from my spot lying on the cement porch, anyways. I missed the latest Blue Moon...perhaps I'll lay in wait for the next -- beat the crowds, I always say.

L'chaim!