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2/3/19

Open Letter to Ezra Zion re: Nomad Cigar Co. | Cigar View by Kaplowitz

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"


Dear Ezra Zion,

"NOMAD | EZRA ZION

Fred Rewey has sold his Nomad Cigar Co. to micro beard oil and assorted bric-a-brac co. Ezra Zion. Near as I can tell, EZ is essentially in the label-making business, although I'd imagine they outsource printing. What I'm saying is, the co. slaps their stuff on lotsa stuff. I always get the feeling they're throwing pasta on the wall to see what of it sticks. Sadly, I'm unsure anything's stuck just yet. Much pasta. Too much pasta. Not 'nuff spicy meat'a'balls.

I like Nomad. The brand had and has a special place in my heart as one of, if not the first companies to give me the time of day. That was a poorly constructed sentence. The editorial "we" here at K/M wish Mr. Rewey sugar, spice, & everything nice. As far as the Ezra Zion vision for the Nomad name, Chris Kelly of EZ said via PR: "... an outlet for our more edgy and experimental stuff -- both in terms of cigar making and also art concepts." Why a teeny brand needs an avant-garde extension would have to be explained to me, however.

I'd hate to see Nomad become just another poorly cooked strand of Ezra Zion spaghetti, but I'm braced for just that. Or maybe I should shut up & listen to Fred:

"I have known Chris and Kyle with Ezra Zion for several years. Worked side-by-side with them when we were together at Emilio Cigars [now Boutiques Unified]. Although there will be many more details coming out over the next several days, I can say that I feel confident not only in them taking Nomad Cigar Company to the next level, but also preserving what has brought it to this point." - (Via his own press release.)"

I wrote the above words 9/16/18. I probably coulda supplied the gist, but love to copy/paste in blocks because it gives the canned footage feel I love-so seeing in Three Stooges shorts. I digress...


We don't speak, you and I. I have sent emails your way -- I send everyone emails -- but you've not replied. It's OK, we're all very-very busy. I am on the old Nomad mailing list which you seem to have inherited. For the reasons stated in this paragraph, I am offering this open letter to you, me, & the universe in general. Me? Yes, me. Perhaps this will promise to be cathartic.

As to the aforementioned mailing list, lettuce take for instance your latest (1/28) correspondence in which the subject line reads: "NEW CIGAR ALERT! Suns Out, Guns Out NOW AVAILABLE!" (For the record, there is a Panda emoji involved which I don't know, or want to know, how to mimic here.) The full production run is 400. The band has a Banksy looking panda waving firearms. In said emailing you include  "...I can't wait to post on Facebook with a "right to bear arms" joke."

Fuck you.

Prior to that (1/5) was another email, subject line [icecream cone emoji] "*NEW CIGAR ALERT!* Waffle Cone is NOW AVAILABLE!" The total production here is 325. Banksy (again) looking ice cream cone kinda foot band. "We present to you our version of Waffle Cone in cigar form. Enjoy."

Fuck you.

12/14 another new cigar alert. 375 total production. 12/6 another one... 325 made. I guess I don't understand why, to re-quote myself with great(er) hubris, "a teeny brand needs an avant-garde extension..." I mean you're small production avante garde already, no?

Maybe it's just me. Perhaps I owe you an apology. I am a man of great passion and emotion and my feelings re: Nomad & Fred Rewey have already been stated. I'm sure you do know what yer doing and I offer you in lieu of "fuck you" a closing of legit warmth and meaning -- I offer you (if not the Nomad nom de tobacco) all the best [smiley emoji].

I must also mention I am in talks with Mr. Rewey. I have offered him my services in starting a GoFundMe on his behalf; the proceeds of which will aid in his buying back the brand. So perhaps, G-d willing, this will work out for all of us in the end.

The end.

Best,

Kap


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