11/10/16

Protocol Probable Cause - Cigar Review

THE CIGAR
Cubariqueno Cigar Co.
Protocol Probable Cause
5 x 52 Robusto
w. Mexican San Andres Maduro
b./f. Nicaraguan
La Zona SA, Nicaragua
I
Whilst typically I prefer lighter cigar fare, I do on occasion like to pay the call-girl a bit extra to don stilettos and step on my schmekel. That's what a good San Andres wrapper doth for me. If you like this sorta thing, welcome to www.kaplowitz.xyz: yer home on the web for this sorta thing. Now, toasting and lighting prove patient endeavors, on account of a firm even packing and thickly rigid top-leaf. Top-leaf sees a couple well-sized veins, but no crimping therein and all vertically aligned. Seams are tight nigh invisible. Complexion is dark roasted espresso beans with a brick-red under-hue brung up to the eye by the red P on the band and red stripe on the secondary one.

Very, well, San Andres right outta the gate. S'mores. Chocolate, marshmallow, and graham... if yer somehow unfamiliar. Some mixed general nuttiness. Thick syrupy espresso with a creamy influx from the 'mallow. Not crazy black peppery on the draw, but it's there. On the retro-hale, it is THERE. Building of cream. Some woodsy notes. I taste sequoia and kinda smell Big Foot on the room-note's under-belly. Manure comes onto the hot draw after a 1/2" or-so. It was heavily on the cold draw. Draw... even medium+ tension'd. Room-note proper is a wood earth sweetness.

Burn is a bit of a curve -- but I am told that real cigars have curves. I am old 'nuff to recall when women wanted their tuchus to be small. I miss that. Burnt offerings are white and forming a sheath with a slight bissell cracking on one side. Draw has become just a tick hesitant. A rolling off of inch-long ash frees the combustion and fixes that hesitancy. Very firm packing, thick ash, leads to over-insulation -- not a knock on the Probable Cause. A nougat vibe sidles up and a purple fruit syrup floods richening earth bits.

Robust medium+ flavors and body. Say a medium strength. I'm a bit concerned that the fillers are burning too hot for binder/top-leaf. Shaft warms a bit. I relax out the end of the opening act, letting it sit in my $0.99 Walmart tray. Contemplate my naval.

II
I let by Bic lick at a bit of lagging top-leaf and commence the festivities. I get a new hardwood note and it seems attracted to some of the fruit syrup, giving me a slight sense of wine cask. More cream, toasted lightly. A meaty chew grows. Texture seems to smooth even more, as it weren't ne'er coarse, per se. Flavors mellow a tick and a new sweetness is noticed in the dark tobacco bits. A sweet black bread, too. Some caramelized sugar. Molasses. Spice-wise, there is a cumin lilt alongside a black pepper sauteed in leathery oils. A hint of red pepper.

Burn ribbons slightly. Draw is a bit hesitant again, and once stoked, becomes warm on the palate and in the mitt. Redwood note is quite interesting. Profile roasts toasts. A smokiness meets meat and woods and poop...uhm... manure. -Full in terms of body. Medium+ flavors. Medium strength. Pack density remains firm as ever 'twas. Seams hold. I re-touch the San Andres to preempt a possible tunneling -- none is visible, but the burn seems to wanna err thatta way. Coffee notes alter: espresso loses syrup and becomes a roasted bean. A brewed French Roast pours in separately. Graham and nougat tease at each other in the background. Chocolate darkens and finds a malt attachment.

III
Finally, the pack softens a half-tick. Smoke out-put muscles up off each end. My tongue tingles from red pepper and cumin spicy melange. Strength up-ticks to medium+. Compost and barnyard earth surge upwards. Sweetness dials back. Mouth-feel gets a lil spitty. Nuttiness spikes up in a walnut and almond paste manner and drives ahead even further, the earthiness. Compost barnyrd manure black top-soil.

A re-touch is required in a fairly substantial fashion. Very smoked and smoky now. Smoky, not smokey -- Smokey is a dog's name. Stay, Smokey. We smokers prefer to "Stay smoky." This Probable Cause will see to ya staying smoky. Smoke warms at the still firm nub, but not egregiously so, instead in a manner germane to its deeply rich and toasty/smoky plot. A hearty offering which leaves a pleasant bittersweet finish with long clean legs, extending from a tight lil tuchus. Very nice, gentlepersons.

I toothpick the nub and practically need to hammer it thru the dense leaf.
SMOKE TIME
75mins

FINAL GRADE
****B+****
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