INTRO
My candidate made your candidate look like a real schlemiel in last night's debate. To celebrate, gentlepersons, an Ave Maria. A brand that I find peachy keen. Particularly with some age on it. Incidentally, your candidate is an alter cocker.
THE CIGAR
Ave Maria
Morning Star 5 x 58 Perfecto
w. Ecuadorian Habano
b. Nicaraguan Habano
f. Honduran and Nicaraguan
PRE-LIGHT
A tick more vein than expected and a couple loose seams. Well affixed cap. Medium+ density of pack on a Charmin squeeze test. "You got peanut butter in my chocolate," "You got chocolate in my peanut butter" complected, and evenly so. Silky slight peach fuzz hand-feel. Good heft and nigh curiously superior balance in my paw, given the format. Lotsa tobacco; mousy brown stuff, judging by what's peeking out of the Perfecto nipple.
Cocoa butter nose, verily. A cold pull offers up some soft mulling spices in a milk chocolate note. Buttery cedar. Medium+ draw tension. Finish is sweet with a half-zetz of spice and white pepper. Some graham influence.
LIGHT
White pepper, graham, then a heartier black pepper. Cocoa. Finishes in a coffee and cream. That there is the numero uno hot draw. Numero dos, por favor? Well, that one is retro-haled to more white and black peppers, a thicker chocolate note, and mulling spices. Coffee and cream muscles up at the far-end. Third hottie is an introduction of cocoa butter'd cedar. Some sunny dirt and hay under-belly with a suede attachment.
Draw is nearing a -full tension'd affair. Still, me smoke-hole is mainly satiated and building. With the nipple now a white and heather-grey burnt offering of ash, the line settles into even on a -medium thickness. Packing hath softened not against my toast and light. Smoke out-put mounts and the room-note is a cedar suede sweetness.
ACT I
Car-a-mel, mah brutha. Honey graham crackers. Coffee and cream. Cocoa butter. Sunny yet muscular earthiness under it all. Nice. Mulling spice stays and laces. Draw loosens to a pre-light medium+ and a more open one, at that. At a hair shy of an inch, a dollop of cream doth arrive. Texture is quite smooth with a slight and kind white pepper zing which cleanses. Long legs that finish, finally, cleanly. For a moment I though I detected a mineral aspect vibing in, but no. I get delicate white flowers now. Lightly roasted cashews, salted.
The smoke around me gets more weighted. An aromatic tobacco note flits into it. Construction and combustion chug along in a well-orchestrated performance. Very smooth pacing. A bit of sugary lemon comes in on the end of draw.
ACT II
Cashew butter. Profile is a well-balanced medium+ with a medium strength. Top-leaf is bugabooing, humsoever. A slight crack has become slightly less slight and is up to under the large and ornate band. We shall see. Performance has not been hindered by this thus far. Big coffee and cream. I remove the band sans issue and no greater cracking is revealed. My guess is the crack will be smoked through like a Whitney Houston party. Even more cream with an upping of sugar lemon bits. Floral notes are a tick heartier.
The entire ash is intact, which means it should dump on my lap any second, now that I made mention of it. I got a shcmatta at the ready, gentlepersons. Don't worry 'bout ol' Kap. Man, this feel good in my lips. Leaves a nice sweet saltiness on them. Ash hits the deck of my cement porch and don't break. I pick it up and toss it in my $0.99 Walmart tray and it don't break. Suede goes to leather and a new wood comes in, an oak. Toasty. Those new notes firm up the under-belly and raise it a few ticks. More honey graham, less car-a-mel. A nougat thing tries. Crack is a burnt offering memory.
Profile stays put. A new peanut note comes in. Mouth-feel is a tick damp now, but nice. I'm missing the floral stuff. Toasty toasts to a greater toastiness. Leather is pale and worked to a softness. Hay is gone. Good.
ACT III
Say thou wilt about me, my son Snack Tray, and my dachshund Ruby Vondella -- but knock Ave Maria -- and a bit of fisticuffs may ensue, gentlepersons. Be forewarned: I am a pacifist, but too, I have a lot of pent up agression. I'm grinding my teeth as I type.
All is on cruise control, but not sedate. Strength is a medium+ now, to match the profile. Well rounded notes on a smooth texture with a neat-o zing. Superb balance. What's not to like? Cashew butter and boiled peanuts soar. Coffee and cream. Cocoa butter. Honey graham crackers. Sugary lemon. I repeat myself because I am impressed. Yummy. Bittersweet finish is flexing in bitter, but nicely. Coffee is an Americano and now with raw sugar. Black pepper is only shown on a retro-hale. White pepper stays and softens; leave a tingle on the tip a me tongue with a lemon aid. See what I did there? Oy vey, the brilliance. If you like that sorta thing, keep coming back to www.kaplowitz.xyz: yer home on the web for that sorta thing.
Nub is soft, but seams and draw hold. Smoke is as cool as my entire bedroom pillow... for I sleep downstairs on the couch.
Nub is soft, but seams and draw hold. Smoke is as cool as my entire bedroom pillow... for I sleep downstairs on the couch.
PAIRINGS
Loganberry Manischewitz.
SMOKE TIME
80mins
FINAL GRADE
****B+****
OUTRO
L’shalom