9/20/16

Alec Bradley Tempus - Cigar Review

B"H
INTRO
Re: above picture. I have a zit. Smack 'twixt the eyes. Here, look at my hipster (Heebster) shoe instead, while I look at --

THE CIGAR
Alec Bradley Tempus
Creo 7 1/2 x 41 Gran Panetela*
w. Honduran
b. Honduran
f. Honduran, Nicaraguan
I
Smoky chocolate behind a black pepper front. Meat. Latte. Woods growing outta a crisp compost underbelly; hardwoods and cedar. Dark. Nutty mix of walnuts and pecans, roasted. Bittersweet, verily. Robust weight of creamy smoke. Hello, and thanks for visiting www.kaplowitz.xyz. Your home on the web for this sorta thing. Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?

Burn happens a tick wobbly, nothing egregious. OK, nigh egregious. A bucket of potpourri just arrived. Some red fruits. Chewy, gentlepersons. Packing starts at a medium+ density and remains there after torching. Draw is a tick of a hollow lag at its immediate start, but then satiates the ol' smoke-hole. Leather, supple and oily is on the draw and room-note; also on the room-note is a slight but definite ashy quality. Smoke out-put is a tick over average. Rest of room-note is bitter sweet aromatic tobacco with a certain juiciness. Cola, sans carbonation comes into draw. Some red tea, too.

Ash is Honduran, (read: dark). Holds to a Panetela inch, which I find impressive. A bit of a ribbon is at the line. Espresso goes full-on Cuban coffee. BIG wood. BIG nuts. Get yer mind outta the gutter, gentlepersons. Chocolate fudges, dense. Some black pepper, finely ground to a powder, sits on top a' the cream on my tongue-tip. Palate is that Cuban coffee, mainly. Mouth-feel is a chewy goodness of exceptional moisture content. Finish is a bittersweet classic of memorable legs. Rich lady perfumes are on the end of draw, fading to and through the finish. I see a small bedside lamp with a red velvet shade. I believe I am in a house of ill repute, gentlepersons. This Tempus is a vixen! ... and me, just a lil Jew kid from Brooklyn. My Rabbi warned me about this!

II
Wood note/s sharpen/s against the profile, but still not very delineated amongst it/themself. I've read that previous sentence half a dozen times now, and I just don't know. Hardwoods lead with a big bit of cedar and smaller bit of mesquite. Nuts too are a melange of darkly roasted almonds, walnuts, pecans -- in that order. Almond note dries the under-side of my tongue a tick. Compost under-belly is perfume infused. Draw remains a tick hollow at first tug and more so. Middling is Cuban coffee and house of ill repute. Also, some brownie... I think... Can't fully recall... I haven't tasted a Brownie since I was a Cub Scout. Don't forget to pre-order yer Kaplowitz T-shirts to-day!

Draw hesitates a bit more and a canoe threat threatens the burn. Re-touch mainly fixes. Medium+ profile across-the-board. Pack softens exactly three (3) ticks. A fairly brilliant and flavorful blend, this Alec Bradley Tempus -- hampered by issues oft germane to the Panetela plot. A little bit, I feel as though there's a slight split in the straw I'm sucking chocolate soda through. I type that, then VOOM rush of smoke to smoke-hole. Heavy and smooth. Nice. The next few puffs to current, too. Leather thickens in supple fashion. All told, not a ton of transitions, not even a thousand pounds of 'em -- but that ain't what this is apparently about. Tons of nuances. Excellent consistency of flavor with well 'nuff happenings to stave off boredom. Strength stays at medium+ as the rest of profile ups to -full. Heavy grains come in, toasted barley. Hard cider comes into woods. Ash aerates a bissel.

III
An interesting bit of action here, though no new additions, per se. We start with an extension of the second act's close. Then at about halfway through the final act, we return to Act I. Then it's Panatela issues as far as he eye can see. Just shy of band, we go out. Whatta ride, gentlepersons! All via performance and not so much notes. Fercoct, on might rightly say. Meshuga to say the very least. I haven't had a sip of Manischewitz in to weeks. I'd pair this AB with Blackberry.

On a re-light, there's a heady chocolate blast and woods get the grains. Under-belly of earth is huge and bulges up to middlings, has some herbs now. Dark rye and caraway seeds are the final addition. I never expected to end up in a Jewish Delicatessen. I shoulda seen it coming, generally speaking. Good to have a nosh after a whorehouse visit. L'chaim!

The Avenue Z Delicatessen of my Brooklyn youth. My dad and I would order buttered kaiser rolls. The schmear knife used was the same used for each spreadable offering offered. The butter tasted of chopped liver, of cream cheese, of chive, of herbs, and of lox spread. Of more, too. Yum. This Tempus is actually somewhat reminiscent of that in some ways. Methinks, nay know, in another vitola I'd be looking at a quite solid A grade smoke.
SMOKE TIME
80mins

FINAL GRADE
****B+****

OUTRO
EDITOR'S NOTES
*I've seen this offering called a Panetela and/or Lancero. At over 7 inches in length, it's a Gran Panetela.

L'shalom