PROLOGUE
Hold on, I somehow put on my grey shoes and a black sock hat... OK. Great sock hat: activated. Still a tick chilly here in the AMs.
THE CIGAR
Room101 Uncle Lee
6 1/2 x 50 Perfecto
Ecuadorian Habano wrapper
Nicaraguan Corojo binder
Dominican Piloto Ligero & Honduran Corojo fillersSample courtesy of Brian Kurland at Cigar Reserve. Check 'em out, gentlepersons.
PRE-LIGHT
Very richly dense mocha complexion, well coated in oils. I'm realizing more and more, I'm a Perfecto sucker. Some espresso bean marbling between mocha and sheen. Almost sinfully decadent visual vibe. Lots of veins, fatties and spiders, some horizontally so. None look like too, too much of a threat. Or maybe they all do, and simply none stand out. Some yellow undertones hug the larger fellas. Seams are tight and nigh invisible, sans a hiccup in the mid 2/3 due to a vein. Cap and foot tapers are a tick rough-hewn. Glimpse of filler at the foot is a monochromatic mousy brown.
Hand-feel is fun. No, I cannot quantify that, but thanks for asking. The vitola, I suppose -- with a good enough balance that it twirls well in my mitt. Charmin squeezing shows a couple soft spots, which tick down a notch from the majority medium+ packing. It doesn't feel very lively on spring-back. The comic book band and a pudgy shape with lethargic tendencies puts in my mind a fella who lives in the basement of his mom's house.
The band. If you noticed, I removed the candy-looking outer packaging for the above schlock photo op. Originally, these sticks were supposed to be packaged in cereal box looking things. A tad risque and whatnot, I feel... so not my circus; not my monkeys.
Schnozzing the shaft gets me a cedar spice rack, chicken shit (pardon my french), and leather -- although that last one might be me smelling with my eyes. I Xikar the cap and get, on a smooth medium+ resistance, an immediate zetz of jungle juice from when I was a little fella. Let's call that note candied fruit, gentlepersons. Also, a black licorice/black pepper tandem, some nice cedar, and a leathery vibe that finds the mainly sweet cold finish.
First hot pull is black pepper and a warmly sweet fruit desert in a cedar bowl, up-top. Creamy leather is underneath in the middling, with a floral thing happening alongside. Some spice rack is in the chicken shit (pardon again my French) backing note. Second hottie is retro-haled to black pepper/peppercorn roasted primary. There's a heavy butter influence whenst clears the smoke and note meets palate. Quite vegetarian savory. There's actually a heavy veggie vibe, akin to alfalfa. More smoke-hole filling now, but draw is a good -firm. Third hot one is a sweetening of darkening fruits, a continuation of interesting pepper-play. Very high-up manure backing. Middling of a very heighty creamy cedar, slightly lower leather. Seasoning in the manure backdrop is getting big clove notes.
I get mom's desert offering of baked fruit, and a kid's desert wish of candy. I also get a very interesting black pepper. I dig the tropical floral smell/taste on the immediate draw. Ash is trying to sheath and is mainly a very pale grey. Line is even enough and a medium thickness. There is no softening of packaging off light. Draw is easing and smoke off both end is beginning to billow in white clouds. Room-note is circus clown after the show. Profile is a medium+, strength is light+.
Black pepper subdues a tick. Dark moist fruits deepen; cedar picks up a load of its juices. Very indulgent. I wonder what the calorie count is on this Room101 offering. Strength is a -medium. Profile pushes the boundaries of medium+. I am lost in a cloud of smoke. Good. A quick flick of Djeep helps the top-leaf burn through a blister. Chocolate vibe. Cardamom. Dark honey. Peanuts seem to have left.
Burn is a ribbon-y bit of alright. Line is a medium+ thickness. Packaging softens a tick and a seam loosens at the burn. Mouth-feel is a bit dry for all the juicy creamy notes. I believe it's from pulling back my tongue to pull harder than I'd like. Room-note is the same, but I also smell metabolized hooch now. I can see the clown, half costumed and tiredly sipping, pulling. The room is dark.
Draw is a medium resistance now and smoky smoke at both ends, the plumes as big puffy white as my ex. Predominant, if not primary proper, remains the creamy cedar. There's a heightening of spice rack, clove led and joined by a delineating nutmeg and cinnamon. Packaging is now def spongy and seams continue to loosen; now further ahead of burn. Some top-leaf cracking doth be.
With the final act looming nigh, strength is a medium+ and profile is -full spectrum. Burn wobbles, but corrects sans aiding. Notes are laid out evenly, but again, I wouldn't say linear. It's actually a good bit of somewhat disturbing fun. Gallows slap-stick humor. Transition at midpoint added a good bunch of flavors to an already large variety. The fact it's greatly delineated makes for a very, very wide profile. I gotta say, it's all a bit... unsettling. I've been on my heels the entire time, starting with a tough draw, moving to a flavor-fest, then getting a notable zetz of nic. Some Klezmer music should do well to pull joy from the freneticism.
A re-touch is required on a bit of non-burning top-leaf. I've begun to feel the Big Top is ablaze and these water buckets filled with confetti ain't gonna cut it. I need to back away and do an early lunch. Nutella and PB on white bread, side of Fritos. And we are back...
Licorice tandems with pepper/corn medley. Floral gets a vanilla attachment. Complexities continue to be more confusing than enhancing -- but in the right frame of (altered) mind -- this Uncle Lee is a fun guy. Fun guy. Fungi. Nope. No mushroom. Drats. Chocolate syrup? U-bet. Sweetness is returned thusly, post dwindling fruits. I believe this is the first time I broke a review to nosh. Throat and back of palate each dry. Head pulsates. Oh, look. The band. I'm utterly tuchus'd, gentlepersons.
Have a schmatta readily at-hand, ash don't hold.
Construction O
Combustion W
Flavors/Body Z
Strength W
One day, I'll spell PLOTZ vertically. Today's Room101 had me smoking horizontally.
Hand-feel is fun. No, I cannot quantify that, but thanks for asking. The vitola, I suppose -- with a good enough balance that it twirls well in my mitt. Charmin squeezing shows a couple soft spots, which tick down a notch from the majority medium+ packing. It doesn't feel very lively on spring-back. The comic book band and a pudgy shape with lethargic tendencies puts in my mind a fella who lives in the basement of his mom's house.
The band. If you noticed, I removed the candy-looking outer packaging for the above schlock photo op. Originally, these sticks were supposed to be packaged in cereal box looking things. A tad risque and whatnot, I feel... so not my circus; not my monkeys.
Schnozzing the shaft gets me a cedar spice rack, chicken shit (pardon my french), and leather -- although that last one might be me smelling with my eyes. I Xikar the cap and get, on a smooth medium+ resistance, an immediate zetz of jungle juice from when I was a little fella. Let's call that note candied fruit, gentlepersons. Also, a black licorice/black pepper tandem, some nice cedar, and a leathery vibe that finds the mainly sweet cold finish.
LIGHT
Wooden matches outdoors, nu? Toasting the teeny-tiny foot sets off an aroma of sweetly softened cedar an underneath leather. Thing's not exactly eager to light, but I'm notoriously persuasive. OK, the Djeep helped. Draw resistance is a few ticks tighter. Not getting a bunch of filled smoke-hole. I am just a bit concerned...First hot pull is black pepper and a warmly sweet fruit desert in a cedar bowl, up-top. Creamy leather is underneath in the middling, with a floral thing happening alongside. Some spice rack is in the chicken shit (pardon again my French) backing note. Second hottie is retro-haled to black pepper/peppercorn roasted primary. There's a heavy butter influence whenst clears the smoke and note meets palate. Quite vegetarian savory. There's actually a heavy veggie vibe, akin to alfalfa. More smoke-hole filling now, but draw is a good -firm. Third hot one is a sweetening of darkening fruits, a continuation of interesting pepper-play. Very high-up manure backing. Middling of a very heighty creamy cedar, slightly lower leather. Seasoning in the manure backdrop is getting big clove notes.
I get mom's desert offering of baked fruit, and a kid's desert wish of candy. I also get a very interesting black pepper. I dig the tropical floral smell/taste on the immediate draw. Ash is trying to sheath and is mainly a very pale grey. Line is even enough and a medium thickness. There is no softening of packaging off light. Draw is easing and smoke off both end is beginning to billow in white clouds. Room-note is circus clown after the show. Profile is a medium+, strength is light+.
ACT I
Finish is a leggy sweet cream peppercorn. Mouth-feel is a softened perfect melted butter moisture. Ash clumps off onto my carport floor and poofs in a white powder. Really intriguing play here between pepper and candy notes. Some roasted peanuts are coming in, as well. Sweet creamy cedar flits betwixt primary and middling note, but steers from each. Some dense latte comes in now. Manure/clove backing is quite cool. I'd still like an easier draw, but at least I now have something to kvetch about.Black pepper subdues a tick. Dark moist fruits deepen; cedar picks up a load of its juices. Very indulgent. I wonder what the calorie count is on this Room101 offering. Strength is a -medium. Profile pushes the boundaries of medium+. I am lost in a cloud of smoke. Good. A quick flick of Djeep helps the top-leaf burn through a blister. Chocolate vibe. Cardamom. Dark honey. Peanuts seem to have left.
Burn is a ribbon-y bit of alright. Line is a medium+ thickness. Packaging softens a tick and a seam loosens at the burn. Mouth-feel is a bit dry for all the juicy creamy notes. I believe it's from pulling back my tongue to pull harder than I'd like. Room-note is the same, but I also smell metabolized hooch now. I can see the clown, half costumed and tiredly sipping, pulling. The room is dark.
ACT II
Ash drops again in a surprise clump. I don't even know when/where it felled. Burn slows its pace. Very fruity creamed cedar. Not linear, per se -- but not a structured profile. I imagine this is intended. Mouth and note dampen a bit. Under my tongue? Cloves. Not overly pleasantly. On my tongue? Drool. Taste buds? Additions of licorice and blueberry syrup.Draw is a medium resistance now and smoky smoke at both ends, the plumes as big puffy white as my ex. Predominant, if not primary proper, remains the creamy cedar. There's a heightening of spice rack, clove led and joined by a delineating nutmeg and cinnamon. Packaging is now def spongy and seams continue to loosen; now further ahead of burn. Some top-leaf cracking doth be.
With the final act looming nigh, strength is a medium+ and profile is -full spectrum. Burn wobbles, but corrects sans aiding. Notes are laid out evenly, but again, I wouldn't say linear. It's actually a good bit of somewhat disturbing fun. Gallows slap-stick humor. Transition at midpoint added a good bunch of flavors to an already large variety. The fact it's greatly delineated makes for a very, very wide profile. I gotta say, it's all a bit... unsettling. I've been on my heels the entire time, starting with a tough draw, moving to a flavor-fest, then getting a notable zetz of nic. Some Klezmer music should do well to pull joy from the freneticism.
ACT III
Sweet berry dips down as cedar leaps up. The cedar is less creamy and more seasoned now. Notes are a bit toasted and two bits thinner. Coffee soars. Peppery retro-hale braces nicely. Manure is all over the place, and I ain't cleaning up this mess, gentlepersons. Flavors dry a bit from the toasting. It's quite similar to Act II here in the IIIrd, but somewhat of a different delivery.A re-touch is required on a bit of non-burning top-leaf. I've begun to feel the Big Top is ablaze and these water buckets filled with confetti ain't gonna cut it. I need to back away and do an early lunch. Nutella and PB on white bread, side of Fritos. And we are back...
Licorice tandems with pepper/corn medley. Floral gets a vanilla attachment. Complexities continue to be more confusing than enhancing -- but in the right frame of (altered) mind -- this Uncle Lee is a fun guy. Fun guy. Fungi. Nope. No mushroom. Drats. Chocolate syrup? U-bet. Sweetness is returned thusly, post dwindling fruits. I believe this is the first time I broke a review to nosh. Throat and back of palate each dry. Head pulsates. Oh, look. The band. I'm utterly tuchus'd, gentlepersons.
SMOKE TIME
120mins (or so)
NOTES
Too showy to be entirely pleasant. Complex as heck, but not in a way which is germane to its plot. I can say this verily, as its plot was helter-skelter and not germane unto itself. Kooky, huh? Now I know what it's like to have a conversation with me.Have a schmatta readily at-hand, ash don't hold.
PAIRINGS
Sad clowns, happy clowns, Klezmer, and Blackberry Manischewitz. Vaudeville. Root beer. Mood stabilizing medication(s).
K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
Appearance OConstruction O
Combustion W
Flavors/Body Z
Strength W
One day, I'll spell PLOTZ vertically. Today's Room101 had me smoking horizontally.
FINAL GRADE
****?****
EPILOGUE
I need a hand-up. Not a hand-out.