Tuesday, May 31, 2022

A Father's Day (& Other Times) Gift Receiving Guide for Cigar Smokers

A Father's Day (& Other TImes) Gift Receiving Guide for Cigar Smokers

I have a question for the cigar guys out there. How often have you looked up gift-giving guides, say before Mother's Day, in order to find the perfect perfume for whomever? I bet perfume blogs are brimming with ideas for non-perfume wearers and that you peruse several posts about the perfect perfume to gift. I also have a question for the cigar media. Articles like 'Gifts Ideas for the Cigar Smoker in Your Life,' who are you writing these for? I've been guilty of this myself. Creating the cigar content, to be clear, not perusing perfume industry sites.

It's a rut we almost all get stuck in. In our defense, it is a fresher topic than 'cello on or cello off,' and 'plume or mold.' (It doesn't matter enough to alter how the cigars come to you, and it's mold every time, respectively and for posterity.) So before every Christmas and each Father's Day particularly, you'll see these articles and/or blog posts, or pod eps both recycled and new, all telling no one how to buy cigar gifts for cigar smokers. And never is it thought much about. Never, ever, does anyone write about how to receive cigar gifts from non-cigar smokers.

You say thank you. A handshake, a hug, and even a kiss might all be recommended as acceptable responses alongside giving verbal thanks, of course, each in accordance with the parameters of the given relationship. Did someone get you a counterfeit Cuban cigar thinking it was authentic? Well, that isn't one of those teachable moments, nor is it an opportunity to skewer them with your cigar pals. Did someone give you a mild smoke and you're thinking they should know that you appreciate fuller smokes? Does your significant other prefer effervescent or powdery fragrances?

Cutters and lighters are great gifts to give the cigar smoker in your life. Why? Is it because they don't have either and were facing a helluva frustrating situation until you came along with your stupendous present? They're good ideas because they're like gifting ties. Where do ties go? In the closet. Where does your lighter go? In a drawer most likely. 'Thank you for knowing I wear ties and smoke cigars.' After you say thank you, feel really good about getting a gift from someone who cares to think about you, even when you probably don't often deserve it.

::: very :::

For H. Kaplowitz

Saturday, May 28, 2022

New Kaplowitz Media. Sherlock Holmes Project Announcement | The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

New Kaplowitz Media. Sherlock Holmes Project Announcement | The Hound of the Baskervilles [HOUN] by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I was in the fourth or fifth grade when my dad introduced me to Sherlock Holmes through a paperback copy of The Hound of the Baskervilles by A. Conan Doyle. I was immediately hooked. Shortly after, I read The Adventures of, and was even further hooked--after acclimating to how different those tales (and then the rest) seemed from this novel. HOUN is a 'Victorian Creeper' with Holmes added in; not yet fully returned from the Great Hiatus. 

The Great Hiatus. The time between Doyle deciding to kill off his Holmes creation in The Final Problem (1893) and succumbing to popular pressure thus bringing the consulting detective back to life from the never-dead in The Adventure of the Empty House (1903). The Hound of the Baskervilles (1901-2, serialized in The Strand Magazine) is, to be clear, set in 1889. Nevertheless, I did promise word of a new project. 

By now, of course, you are aware that this new project deals with The Hound of the Baskervilles. You should even be able to take a quite educated stab as to why. But how? Good question. Each week, I will post my written take on a single chapter of the book. That's it. Pretty simple. Each new installment will have in it links to the others. There are 15 chapters, so 15 weeks and we'll say it all begins this coming week of May the 30th. 

That's it. Thanks so much for your attention.

Postscript: You can find my thoughts on Chapter 1 HERE, and from there, links to the rest. (6/6/22 -Kap)

::: very :::

Friday, May 27, 2022

On Barker: A Hated (Sherlock Holmes) Rival

On Barker: A Hated Rival

A note as to what you are about to read. Each of these four parts was originally published here as an individual blog post. I do make mention of this later on but felt it necessary to let you know immediately. I have minimally edited them to read as lesser-so. Minimally because I am lazy and also busy and also wished to leave intact the feeling of my real-time researching and learning. It was quite a ride. It most likely reads as quite a ride, as well. Hopefully an enjoyable one. The again minimal editing is also on account of my attempt to facilitate that enjoyment.

Part 1 The Adventure of the Retired Colourman

As the clock struck midnight on January 1, 2022, The Adventure of the Retired Colourman [RETI] entered the world of the Public Domain. Soon thereafter, Twitter was blowing up at the newly found free-usage of Watson's in-canon hotness... "With your natural advantages, Watson, every lady is your helper and accomplice. What about the girl at the post-office, or the wife of the greengrocer? I can picture you whispering soft nothings with the young lady at the Blue Anchor, and receiving hard somethings in exchange. All this you have left undone." It continues to strike me odd, how everyone is always grasping at the sexualizing of these famed characters.

Me? I was being re-introduced to the character of Barker via a re-reading of the tale. But we'll get to that later. For now, let's dwell where all the others did. You see, instead of leading with his own beautiful face, Watson returned to Holmes with a strangely precise and ornate description of a wall. This led to the most excellent rebuttal of "Cut out the poetry, Watson," said Holmes severely. "I note that it was a high brick wall." Our poor, poor, beset upon hunk of a beefcake. The story itself is not the topic here but I will say that I deviate from many, in that I really do appreciate the later ACD Sherlock Holmes installments. It's well-worthy of a read and, as I say, READ MORE.

Nevertheless, below I have pulled the instances which regard our man Barker. Note he appears just once in canon (making him tied 1-1 with the famed Irene Adler) here within the RETI pages. After each instance from those pages is pulled, I'll supply you with my two-cents in the hopes of fleshing out his character. Unfortunately due to the on-going coin shortage, I cannot in good conscience accept your kind offer of change in return.

Why this exercise?

Because I'm much more interested in another private investigator living in the Holmes Universe, and the somewhat maybe pastiche adventures that might be told of him, perhaps even by myself if I can ever find time (I have since been made aware of the Barker and Llewelyn books of Will Thomas) than in the studliness of Dr. Watson. Call me weird, fine. I've been called worse. But do also understand that somewhere along the way, sticks and stones began breaking bones. With that, we do commence.

"No doubt! No doubt!" said Holmes. "A tall, dark, heavily moustached man, you say, with grey-tinted sun-glasses?" ... "And a Masonic tie-pin?"

Here, Watson is detailing his laying eyes on our man to Holmes. There was no interaction between the two, to be clear. So what to extrapolate from this? Well, let's see: a swarthy fellow, a big one, and what says testosterone as much as a heavy mustache? Nothing, in answer to my own question. I am not sexualizing, mind you, in noting his high T-Levels, I am just adding here 'muscular' (or at the least solid) to "tall."

It is not said that he is taller than Holmes, who is known to be six-feet even. The average height of a man then was about five-foot-five. So I'd put Barker at around 5'11 and carrying it taller. Just a gut-feeling.

The sunglasses say much. They say that although a swarthy-leaning fellow, he had pale light eyes, as they are most sensitive to sunlight (thus potentially securing his English descent beyond his surname, which we will come to). They also might speak to his want of a certain amount of anonymity, which could stem from his either dabbling in or having had dabbled in, transversely darker realms.

I mention the past-tense partly because of the name Barker itself. It is of English descent, dating back to the 1200s. It's an occupational surname referring to those who stripped and prepared bark as part of the leather tanning process. Leather tanning is a rather gross bit of business. One so singularly stinky that its practitioners were often confined to the outskirts of town.

So, we can say his ancestry is of the lower working class. This in turn makes much of the Masonic tie pin he proudly displayed. Why proudly? Because he took strides to conceal his eyes but then prominently show his brotherhood. How better than a fraternal organization with which to create contacts and attain knowledge not born into and/or readily gotten in your own hand-dealt given circles?

Suffice to say, his Masonic connection and its display quite-well might show he is the first of his family to climb the social ladder unto this particular rung. If he was a 2nd-generation member would he be so proud or would it simply be the norm to have gained such inclusion? So, a brawny detective of a lower class than Holmes. A real bootstrap puller-upper, he. (I'll not get into Holmes's lineage here, but you can on your own dime.)

"That was a surprise, but an even greater one was to find that he was not alone in the sitting-room of our client. A stern-looking, impassive man sat beside him, a dark man with grey-tinted glasses and a large Masonic pin projecting from his tie."

Wearing shades in-doors. Sketchy af!

Mainly though, this bit simply rehashes the previous in most ways insofar as Barker's visual characteristics. Beyond that, it does show the two, Holmes and Barker, kept company, and most likely not for the first time here as we'll soon see. Ah, the stern outward appearance of a self-made man. "Impassive." Emotionless. I don't believe him to be a soldier but I'd hazard he has a code. Dark. Again, we read dark. We do not read black, and ACD would have written that (most likely more profanely).

I could be biased but wouldn't a touch of Semitic blood work here? Sephardic peoples were in place, and are typically taller and darker than their Ashkenazi brethren. Perhaps that places his ancestry more in-town however (banking LOL). Gypsies are an oft-mentioned lot in canon, and often out-on town's edges or other less desirable locales. Although I'd stab that a man of Jewish lineage would have more luck becoming a Mason, and Jews relegated to the outskirts of towns is not new news. I mean the two have mixed elsewhere, see: Klezmer music, and me. Plus, he could be a mere mutt, of a bit this, a bit that.

"This is my friend Mr. Barker," said Holmes. "He has been interesting himself also in your business, Mr. Josiah Amberley, though we have been working independently. But we both have the same question to ask you!"

Friend. Another pointed finger toward them being previously familiar. How Barker comes into play is that whilst one concerned party sought the aid of Holmes, the other tapped Barker for assistance. Of perhaps some interest here is that the man who hired Holmes is actually guilty; having the hope that hiring the great Sherlock Holmes would, of itself, clear his bad name. BECAUSE WHO WOULD BE THAT DAMNINGLY DUMB?

From that, as if there were any doubt, we can calculate Holmes as being a good stretch more famous than Barker (athough he was conceivably the second hire here). However, the simple act of Holmes conferring with Barker here shows the latter in a decent and legitimate light. I do not see the two being direct rivals, although we'll hear canonically differently in a mere tick of time,

"I have a cab at the door," said our taciturn companion.”

Aha! From this bit of canonical evidence, it is clear that Barker has a cab waiting at the door. Although he is reserved about it. Add 'reserved' to the stoic stillness of his growing character traits list--but I feel that this is all more of a deviation from his normal ways--which would be indicated by his overplaying the soft speaking, big stick carrying in the presence of a man he wants to impress most & presently (Holmes). He is at his Sunday best, I feel, so much that it continued to catch Watson's eye.

"The old colourman had the strength of a lion in that great trunk of his, but he was helpless in the hands of the two experienced man-handlers."

Our Barker is an experienced man-handler then. Interesting. Much of grappling is learned quite young and often passed-down at least in its impetus. Not to brag, but I recently became quite winded rolling around on the living room floor with my 11-year-old son. But because of our scrappings, he does know some holds and some escapes. Also, my shoulder hurts.

Forgive me if I take some license by positing that perhaps Barker might, this in mind, come from grapplers--man-handlers. Perhaps, even from the way-back Thief-takers, who begat the Bow Street Runners, who would go on to eventually become the modern police force. Thief-takers of the ~1700s were hired privately to capture criminals. (The BSRs were a cleaned-up version of the oft-dirty that, and again--led to Bobbies.)

(Parenthetical redundancy.)

But granted that's far-fetched and not so pressing. More than likely, Barker was, however, a different sort than Holmes. He operates in Surrey. Now posh to my meager understandings, it was then quite rustic and somewhat underpopulated as compared to Holmes's London. We do recall how Holmes felt about the country-side, don't we?...

"But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser. Had this lady who appeals to us for help gone to live in Winchester, I should never have had a fear for her. It is the five miles of country which makes the danger." - The Adventure of the Copper Beeches

Simply, and taking nothing away from Holmes and his self-defense (swordsman, boxer, single-stick, and of course Baritsu) skills, Barker was operating alone on an island for much of the time. Of note here is that he appears unarmed. I'm guessing he spoke threats quite well in certain situations prior to employing his large swarthy frame. This is not to say he'd be at all averse to a bit of pew-pew. I simply have him pegged as a blunter instrument than Holmes in every way.

"I've left Barker to look after the formalities," said Holmes. "You had not met Barker, Watson. He is my hated rival upon the Surrey shore. When you said a tall dark man it was not difficult for me to complete the picture. He has several good cases to his credit, has he not, Inspector?" "He has certainly interfered several times," the inspector answered with reserve. "His methods are irregular, no doubt, like my own. The irregulars are useful sometimes, you know. You, for example, with your compulsory warning about whatever he said being used against him, could never have bluffed this rascal into what is virtually a confession."

To be considered a rival! An endorsement of good cases! Praise from Caeser! "He has certainly interfered several times" speaks to a more ham-fisted assist. When Holmes likens his methods to his own here, it's just insofar as they are both not official police. Not that Barker shares his modus operandi. Quite the contrary from the picture drawn on the scant lines given. We see a man of lesser thought and greater action. Blunter. A burly fellow swinging his phallus, Excusez mon français. A bit of a wild west bounty hunter, I daresay. (Still, though, more upright of an associate than the limited felon Shinwell “Porky” Johnson.)

A man who wants credit. ‘Hated rival,’ I am certain is tongue-in-cheek and for the amusement of the official police inspector in their midst. Of note, I feel as though Holmes is really feeling his naughty anti-hero self here--perhaps a contact high from rubbing shoulders with a man like Barker? Although Holmes is 'irregular' he is by now quite the regular insider. Barker just ain't.

"and as to Barker, he has done nothing save what I told him."

Here, we see Holmes easing-over Inspector MacKinnon's nerves about who exactly gets the case-cracking credit. Yes, Sherlock Holmes is very much in the lead, as it should be. Hmmm... I wonder if Barker has ever worked under Holmes's employ? I bet he has. Especially as the great detective inched closer and closer toward his own bee-keeper retirement in Sussex Downs. Hey, is that only about 40 miles from Surrey? I'm bad with maps.

"Now, you rascal, what are you doing in there?" [Our man Barker to Holmes himself whenst the two met whilst Holmes was half in-half out a pantry window.] "When I could twist my head round I looked into the tinted spectacles of my friend and rival, Mr. Barker. It was a curious foregathering and set us both smiling."

Wow. I did so save the best for last. Let's dissect, shall we? Of course, we shall.

"Now, you rascal, what are you doing in there?" RASCAL? He did not know it was Holmes yet, but that's mighty big talk for a man I see as substantially younger than the other. That alone connotes all sorts of personality traits. Or perhaps he did recognize him and not let on as a rib? "when I could" ... meaning he could not immediately upon being nabbed. Remember: man-handler. Remember: Holmes as no slouch. Then the noted familiarity and finally--"smiling."

These are ::: very ::: deep waters.

etc: While the information listed above is all we know of Mr. Barker according to RETI, we can see a bit more of him--literally see--as (says IMDb) the character appeared on May 1, 1965, in the BBC Sherlock Holmes series. Naturally in "The Retired Colourman" (Season 1 Episode 11). 

There, he was portrayed by Peter Henchie. His attire is (from what I can make of a single still-shot) that of a more rough and ready look, somewhat of a disheveled longshoreman vibing, perhaps due to him seemingly wearing a sort of pea coat. Full disclosure: I have that one noted image of him, and have not watched the episode. Maybe later, I will.

Part 2 The Valley of Fear

This is a sort of unofficial or at least somewhat unexpected second of a further unexpected three-part series wherein we thrice meet a man named Barker in Sherlockian canon. Perhaps the same man named Barker. We shall see. Not long ago at all, depending upon how you individually process time, I wrote and posted to my blog an article titled, "An Introduction to Mr. Barker (from The Sherlock Holmes Adventure of the Retired Colourman)" I mentioned therein that his lone appearance was in those RETI pages. I might have been... less than correct. Although I stop safely shy of claiming full-blown incorrectness.

However, as stated, we do meet other Barkers and perhaps they are all he. The focus here is on one Cecil Barker, more precisely, the focus here is on sussing-out if they are one and the same, the Retired Colourman and Valley of Fear Mr. Barkers. According to William Stuart Baring-Gould and his chronology of canon, RETI took place in July of 1898. Before that, Cecil Barker plays a role in The Valley of Fear, circa January 1888. Again, could this be our first introduction to our man? If so, we know a lot more about him or at least have a lot more potential information with which to hypothesize upon his character-build. This VALL role is a meaty role.

The Barker in VALL is introduced as "Cecil James Barker, of Hales Lodge, Hampstead." This immediately does two things, one offers somewhat of a pro and the other somewhat of a con, in connecting the two Barkers as one. First, the full name. He is known only as Barker in The Adventure of the Retired Colourman, as well as (in which we will delve in pt. 3) The Adventure of the Empty House. Although the allusion to EMPT is admittedly misleading, as he is not mentioned by any name at all. Although a VALL full name, an EMPT cameo, and a familiar surname in RETI as acts I, II, & III of his saga, can well be a designed thing.

Nevertheless, 'Hampstead.' puts him near enough to his RETI base of Surrey. Thus far, it's inconclusive at best. Looking further, what is his role in the Valley story? He was a regular guest at Birlstone House and quite cozy with Douglas/Edwards and his wife, and with D/E from the way-back. He was first on the scene of the murder. Posited his own 'very definite' theory (although he did know the truth) and even went so far as to seem adept at handling said scene, or at least not tainting it. (Adept up to manipulating it.) "Nothing has been touched up to now," said Cecil Barker. "I'll answer for that. You see it all exactly as I found it."

Let's get physical. "A tall, sunburned, capable-looking, clean-shaved man looked in at us. I had no difficulty in guessing that it was the Cecil Barker of whom I had heard. His masterful eyes traveled quickly with a questioning glance from face to face." Tall jives with his RETI description. Sunburned could be in step with 'dark' from those pages as well. An out-of-doors sort of fellow. But clean-shaved. I suppose he could later-on have decided to grow a mustache. Also, 'stern' fits. His taking-in of the room seems quite detective-y. He comes to offer the new evidence of a found bicycle. And again, an investigator would be proficient at steering an investigation.

Barker was, as noted, first on the scene. He then turned back to Mrs. Douglas. "Poor Jack is dead! You can do nothing. For God's sake, go back!" She heeded his trusted words silently. Holmes noted the oddity of this behavior but what if she had known of the potential scheme? I say potential because I do not believe she knew it all until she congregated by the hedges with Barker quite gleefully, in a scene that all but convinced Watson they were, if not knew, her husband's murder(ers)*... probably the former. Actually, "He entreated her to go back, and she answered him, but what she said could not be heard." Could be an "Easy. I will explain later," sort of quick kayfabe convo.

I believe that the most convincing look at Cecil Barker as a detective in-the-know was slipped in with, "He imagined that some secret society, some implacable organization, was on Douglas's track." To me, this obviously alludes to the presence of Moriarty--not Scowrers. (Holmes too would acknowledge Moriarty by this adventure's end.) Remember, word of the Scowrers was no secret, as news of their horrid misdeeds spread throughout America, so why not across the pond? (A trip Cecil took.) Barker's mind, and here his words, were a step-ahead. From that interview, "Some inquiries are offensive," Barker answered angrily. Here we see the short-fuse I cited sensing in what is now pt. 1 of our look at him... how he kept it overly in-check during RETI.

More physical traits. Watson likes hands. He freely notes Holmes' and here in VALL he notes Barker's "... great, strong [man-handler?] hands." Remember this from RETI (and from Part 1 here): "When I could twist my head round I looked into the tinted spectacles of my friend and rival, Mr. Barker. It was a curious foregathering and set us both smiling." WHEN HE COULD. This is strength, as we recall Holmes capable of bending a fire poker. More-so, "strong black eyebrows," is a match for his I say now probable RETI description. Add too, "broad shoulders" to the growing list.

Now then, what of the VALL lack of 'grey,' 'coloured,' or 'tinted' glasses made mentioned in RETI and EMPT, respectively. Recall this is the first meeting, chronologically-speaking of this character. Perhaps his sensitive eyes were prone to later worsening? Perhaps some unmentioned injury in the interim twixt? Or, perhaps, as his renown grew larger over time so did his need to secret his identity or at least make it a tick obscured. Also, look at the William Stuart Baring-Gould dates. This eye-protectionless VALL appearance occurs in dull-sunned January. EMPT is in April, and RETI, July. It's sunnier in his shades donning months.

*This is the clincher passage perhaps, in proving these two Barkers are one-in-the-same indeed. "Now all pretense of grief had passed away from her. Her eyes shone with the joy of living, and her face still quivered with amusement at some remark of her companion." A few ticks later, Mrs. Douglas wants to let Holmes and Watson in on all she's just learned. At first, Barker rejects the idea but quickly changes his mind: "Yes, that's it," said Barker eagerly. "Is he on his own or is he entirely in with them?” In other words, will he work with me, together as private investigators, at the expense of not working with the official police?

And we see here Barker's plucky bootstrapping attempt at pulling himself up to Holmes' level. He's just not been deemed ready yet for primetime. So comes the response of "I wish none of their confidences." The great detective simply requires eating a fourth egg (cholesterol levels be damned) and then will show how he has the case in hand. He knows Barker lied and so did the Mrs., and furthermore that they are not the actual murderers. "Mrs. Douglas and Barker are both in a conspiracy to conceal something; that they aided the murderer's escape," the master is almost there if not silently already arrived.

We now come to Holmes baiting Barker via the direct correspondence of a letter. Long unnecessary story short, enter the not-dead at all previously thought brutally murdered Douglas. He says, "I hadn't much time to make it all clear to Barker and to my wife; but they understood enough to be able to help me. I knew all about this hiding place, so did Ames; but it never entered his head to connect it with the matter. I retired into it, and it was up to Barker to do the rest." So she did know and what I mentioned before between Barker and wifey was simply a notification of all going according to plan. With Barker taking the lead because, again, who better to steer an investigation than an investigator? That or it's a high-probability-percentage utter fabrication.

Finishing up what we do know of our man, our one-man, Barker, he amassed a fortune alongside Douglas. Deep pockets are mandated if pursuing a career similar to the one which Holmes invented if you wish at all to play at or near his level. He's an Englishman, as I deduced in pt.1, and at this tale's completion--he is in league with Sherlock Holmes. It's he that brings word of the death of Birdy Edwards to 221b. He "beat his head with his clenched fist in his impotent anger. "Do not tell me that we have to sit down under this? Do you say that no one can ever get level with this king devil?" 'WE.'

"I don't say that he can't be beat. But you must give me time--you must give me time!" We all sat in silence for some minutes while those fateful eyes still strained to pierce the veil." A meeting of all those employed under the Holmes Detective Agency. I'd imagine with Barker allowed to moonlight later, then inheriting upon Holmes' retiring to the bees. Why then, do we not know of Barker's own adventures, even as we know of Holmes'? One word: Watson. Everyone plays a role in the HDA. The Master, the hot-headed apprentice, and the loyal chronicler.

REMINDER OF TIMELINE
(William Stuart Baring-Gould)

VALL: 7 January 1888
EMPT: 5 April 1894
RETI: 28 July 1898

Part 3 The Adventure of the Empty House

Here we are at the third and final chapter of our look into the Barker character(s?) found within the Sherlockian canon. While preparing this particular part, a thought crossed my mind: chronology. Chronology as to a thing Holmes has said. Holmes has stated that he is the lone representative of his chosen career. What to make of this? Does it blow this all out of the water? Parts of it? Gee, I would kinda feel foolish if it did.

"Well, I have a trade of my own. I suppose I am the only one in the world. I’m a consulting detective, if you can understand what that is." That from A Study in Scarlet, which is well-before the time that any Barker is mentioned/introduced. Funny how he 'supposes,' however. A lazily stated thing, that. In any event, this hurts neither our cause nor case in any conceivable way. Excelsior! Also, whew.

I note the blase though because in his next (and minorly problematic) claim to the same, he is far more definite: “The only unofficial consulting detective" Holmes' clearly flatly states in The Sign of the Four. The detective doth protest too much? Well, they are each different conversational confines, but also maybe he wants to overtly un-acknowledge an upstart competitor? Remember, there are nine months of overlap (see timeline somewhat below). (VALL/SIGN)

There is a moderate-sized chance that he knows of Barker already by the time he's introduced in VALL during said overlap, even if they perhaps haven't yet met or laid an eye on one-another. "I had no difficulty in guessing that it was the Cecil Barker of whom I had heard." Muses Watson. Holmes, of course, always knows more and often opts not to share that more. Could it be though, that Watson was speaking of items slightly-prior to the current case, as well?

Another thought is that I'd say he had perhaps already had designs to bring Barker on-board, making him in Holmes' eyes somewhat of an employee-in-waiting and by his possible definition not a private individual, per se. And furthermore not an unofficial consulting detective by Holmes' standards. More of a Pinkerton Agent, really. So not what Holmes himself did. Is it that much of a stretch to think Holmes saw in himself a highly evolved Allan Pinkerton?

Yes, it kinda actually is. Although he did have his Irregulars, his street urchin intelligence agent network. Perhaps it's Barker not wishing to inherit that named career mantle. Maybe our guy had his own way of stating his occupation. Perhaps this is all linguistic nit-pickery between the two men and in their own heads at that.

Of course, another scenario (and the most-likely one) is that Barker simply wasn't on his radar until he was in VALL. It can read that way quite well. It makes some sense and slights Holmes' sights none, seeing as Barker's locale is noted to be a different one than the Baker Street area.

Regardless of that look into sausage making, and in the conclusion of any timeline quirks, Holmes has stated that he is the lone representative of his chosen career. Then RETI happens wherein Barker is listed as a private detective. What to make of this? Things change. Time marches on. I'm shrugging my shoulders right now, relieved. In any event, and as promised, the William Stuart Baring-Gould timeline. Note that the year of publishing is listed parenthetically:

STUD: 4 March 1881 (1887)
SIGN: 18 September 1888 (1890)
VALL: 7 January 1888 (1915)
EMPT: 5 April 1894 (1903)
RETI: 28 July 1898 (1926)

And now, we at last arrive at the potential Act II of the three-part Barker play within a play. It's a quick, as noted, cameo-style role of a canonical appearance.

"A tall, thin man with coloured glasses, whom I strongly suspected of being a plain-clothes detective, was pointing out some theory of his own, while the others crowded round to listen to what he said. I got as near him as I could, but his observations seemed to me to be absurd, so I withdrew again in some disgust. As I did so I struck against an elderly, deformed man, who had been behind me, and I knocked down several books which he was carrying." Watson, [EMPT]

‘Thin?’ Could it be he was thinned out from not eating well while teavelling the road and world with Holmes? That elderly, deformed man of course would later in this tale prove to be Holmes himself, back from the not at all really dead. (Great Hiatus.) Funny, he and our man (Barker?) find themselves in such close proximity, isn't it? Those 'absurd' observations to Watson's ears are notable, indeed. How often did the good doctor chronicler find Holmes' own observations some form of absurd prior to them being explained away into elementary simplicity?

But what have we to go on with this possible meeting? For one, the coloured glasses that don't appear in VALL but do in RETI, are seen here. Granted that's really only evidence if you buy this whole supposition. Or at least the VALL/RETI connection. Perhaps this EMPT Barker and the RETI Barker are one and the same but Cecil is just Cecil in VALL. It's all quite possible. We also might be looking at three distinctly different humans… We aren't.

Regardless, the look of plain-clothes detective fits with his given trade. That's it and that is all we get here. So why take this for anything greater than what it's presented as? Because it was presented at all, would be my reply. This cameo appearance runs as ::: very ::: out of place if it is indeed a bit of nothing more than atmospheric setting. At the end of the day, or of this series, I feel quite convinced all three Barkers are one "Cecil James Barker, of Hales Lodge, Hampstead." [VALL]

A final note here to address Watson's vague description of who, to be clear, I believe is Barker. Think of his frame of mind. He's not met much success in emulating Holmes and misses the man as well. Confusion atop grief. That would dull one's take considerably.

In case it isn't obvious, I have elected to employ the perhaps somewhat odd method of allowing you Gentlepersons along for the ride as I thought and researched. Apologies if this served to complicate reading. At the end, which is where we are, I hope we had some fun. But are we at the end? I hope you're not. (Unless you've been reading along as these installments were published.)

Part 4 The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton

It's been a tick of time since last we've visited our good friend Mr. Barker. If you've not been along for the ride at all or not in full, this marks the fourth installment of a three-part series regarding the perhaps recurring character. Yes, you read that correctly. We have taken a whirlwind tour of The Retired Coulourman [RETI], The Valley of Fear [VALL], and The Adventure of the Empty House [EMPT]. But you most likely recall that.

Now, we look at our perhaps-Barker in The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton [Chas]. Also, and more accurately stated, at one Ms. Agatha, a housemaid in Milverton's employ and fiancee to Holmes when he poses as "a plumber with a rising business, Escott by name," in order to surveil Milverton's premises. Yes, you read that correctly, too. Fiancee. Nevertheless, Holmes counters Watson's in light of this news quite appropriate "Surely, you have gone too far?" comment with...

"You must play your cards as best you can when such a stake is on the table. I rejoice to say that I have a hated rival who will certainly cut me out the instant that my back is turned." Now let's take it back to The Retired Colourman and Holmes' direct mention of our on-going man of interest. "You had not met Barker, Watson. He is my hated rival upon the Surrey shore." Hated rival, see.

There are those who feel this 'hated rival' points also to the same Barker and furthermore, that when Holmes canned the faux engagement, Barker stepped in and married Agatha the housemaid. Mrs. Agatha Barker, then. Do I count myself amongst those? Well, let's see--CHAS was first published in Collier's on March 26, 1904. More importantly and according to (as ever) the chronology of Baring-Gould, the tale takes place on January 5, 1899.

A reminder of the involved Adventures B-G time-line. (For funsies, the year of publishing is listed parenthetically.)

VALL January 7, 1888 (1915)
EMPT April 5, 1894 (1903)
RETI July 28, 1898 (1926)
CHAS January 5, 1899 (1905)

I mean, it certainly seems plausible then. "This agency stands flatfooted upon the ground." Says Holmes to Watson in The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire [SUSS]. He says so in regards to not partaking in the supernatural realm and says so in, again according to B-G, November 19, 1896. (Published January 1924.) Agency. That would indicate having others under his employ, although his rag-tag Irregulars would alone qualify there, but only somewhat. Those street Arabs first appear, after all, in A Study in Scarlet [STUD], the ::: very ::: first chronicled Holmes tale.

But I highly doubt Holmes would elevate the then-current crop to be his Agency. Although, he does pay them handsomely and says nice enough things like they're "as sharp as needles, too; all they want is a little organisation." - STUD. Organization. Agency. The problem here is that none of these are of the marrying type (of even a housemaid) or age at the CHAS time, so this must be dismissed. If Barker was once an Irregular, as I suspect, he has some greater age on him at this point. STUD, chronologically, happened March 4, 1881--some 18 years prior.

Come to think of it, that would place Barker at quite a decent and ready marrying age. A figure ten-year-old Study in Scarlet street kid becomes a 28-year-old professional fellow over that time, and under the tutelage then the employment of Holmes. The average marrying age of Victorian Era gents actually seems placed at 26 and a half years. THE CLOCK WAS TICKING, perhaps. I still at least see nothing to conflict here. So then what to make of a Holmes so ready to toy with Agatha's affections as to treat them as fungible?

We could save his soul by offering him the grace of elaborately playing match-maker in an albeit icky manner. After all, he does not like women but never does treat them harshly. I mean, there is also a sort of precedent set within the canon, with Watson meeting his Mary awhile earlier (B-G 1888) working in The Sign of the Four. The fact that it fits, coupled with the just-mentioned precedent, and adding-in the fact that Holmes admittedly had his back against the wall in dealing with Milverton--

I'd say sure to Mr. and Mrs. Cecil Barker. And to a slew of kids, why not? A thing to recall is that ACD is writing all these stories; years apart, but nevertheless. They are not, as we play at believing, random cases made public by Watson. Therefore, any plausible connection was probably penned purposefully-so. What are the odds of them being accidental? "Hated rival" is not a common phrase and therefore seen as barely less than "Barker." Only a tick less than a pointed finger. It's not as if it's only a character of a certain height to go on.

As an aside, chronologically-speaking, my headache began somewhere between the second and the fourth paragraph of writing this installment. I'll admit, chronology is most definitely not my most comfortable suit. I thankfully (I'd imagine) cannot taste the passage of time. A little synesthesia humor puts a wrap on things here.

::: very :::

Online resources for the CHAS section include: Lit2Go (you can read the full text of most Holmes stories there), Sherlock Peoria, The Arthur Conan Doyle Encyclopedia, Wikipedia (Baker Street Irregulars), Baker Street Wiki (Mary Watson), University of Cambridge (Populations Past). A special hat tip to The Sound of the Baskerville BSI scion group and a gentleman therein whose name I cannot recall for bringing this 'appearance' to my attention. As far as other sections, in retrospect, Wikipedia (RETI, VALL, EMPT, CHAS), and I hear of Sherlock Everywhere (& Trifles).

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Partagas Anejo in (Synesthesia) Review | Partagas Project IX

Partagas Anejo in (Synesthesia) Review | Partagas Project IX (9th review, 10th over-all installment*)

WRAPPER: Cameroon/Connecticut Shade
BINDER: Dominican
FILLER: Mexican, Dominican

FORMAT: Petit Robusto (4.5x49) Barber-pole
ORIGIN: General Cigar Dominicana
INTENSITY: Mustard yellow

NOTES:
Copper coils | Brown aviator-shaped lenses | Valises

So I'm sitting here puffing my way through to the tune of a 1/2-inch of ash, thinking to myself that I guess not every cigar triggers my synesthesia... when suddenly... the wood side-paneling of an old station wagon. It's a hit & run type burst of an affair. A brown aviator lens shape settles in. Sepia. Copper coils. a tangled rat's nest of 'em. Not springy. Closed windows.

Snippets of Creedence Clearwater Revival are playing in my head. A dull chord or two from across their portfolio of songs I only sorta know not that well. I get a sense of a waxed canvas swatch awareness. Tan. Lots of tans... Khaki-forward. Goldenrod running stitches. Valise shapes. The smell of an old church. ::: very ::: indoors. No sensation of movement whatsoever. A prevailing sense of four decades ago.

Why am I experiencing scenes from The Muppets Take Manhattan? I much more grok the prominent and angularly odd geometric shapes of spicy mustard yellow complexions.

TASTE: Indoors
DRAW: CCR
BURN: Jim Henson
BUILD: 1978

FINAL GRADE: Shag carpet

A note. It's difficult for me to unknow what I know as to the age of this Anejo tobacco. I cannot be sure how much that knowledge influenced my overall experience here. In a previous Synesthesia review, I stated: "The thought of memory playing a role in synesthesia is cloyingly sweet."

*Below is the schedule of this 'Partagas Project.' You have just read 10.

1. Intro (about the blend & project)
2. Review (Regular)
3. Review (Sherlock Holmes)
4. Review (Something quirky)
5. Review (Cigar Aficionado style)
6. Review (Limerick)
7. Review (Long-form)
8. Review (Flavor wheel)
9. Review (Kaplowitz Scale review)
10. Review (Synesthesia review)
11. Review (Primary tastes)
12. Overview

[PLEASE NOTE: regardless of which installment of this multi-post project you come in on, you can find the rest of the entries by employing the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen. Simply enter "Partagas Project." Thank you.]

::: very :::

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Kaplowitz Media. Cigars of the Month for May 2022

Kaplowitz Media. Cigars of the Month for May 2022

The Kaplowitz Media.
CIGARS OF THE MONTH 
for May 2022

(listed in alphabetical order)
(names are links to full reviews).

::: very :::

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Guardian of the Farm Campeon (Warped Cigars & Aganorsa) in Review

Guardian of the Farm Campeon (Warped Cigars & Aganorsa Leaf) in Review

WRAPPER: Nicaraguan Corojo 99
BINDER: Nicaraguan
FILLER: Nicaraguan

FORMAT: Campeon (652 Belicoso 109)
ORIGIN: TABSA, Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Full

NOTES:
Cedar | Cinnamon | Butterscotch

A surprisingly sprightly correspondence. Lively produce peppers, milk chocolate, cedar, and an almost severe perhaps simply quite determined tobacco focus. Woodsy beyond cedar in a leaves and twigs autumnal piling fashion. Spices kick in the mid-opening third; black and red pepper, cayenne, and cinnamon. Shortly thereafter, an oily but not burdensomely-so leathery cushion eases in. A butterscotch sweetness plays toward the back end. Somewhat ashy on the sweet-savory finish.

Strict delineations and I want to say this smokes a lot like how 20/15 vision must feel. Sharp but mainly in a brilliant way--both smart and radiant. Piercing. For all its complexity (and there is much), for all its transitions (a somewhat differing angle of perspective in each third), it remains subtly and engrossingly consistent. The natural tobacco and butterscotch vibes lay down firm tracks. There are some corners but they seem purposeful. Smokes also like a dress code. A formal affair.

This is a strong cigar in terms of nicotine, in a dancing, not a clubbing manner. The draw is superb. The burn is mostly worry-free and slower-paced than the emotions it imparts would have you believe. A single re-touch is required at mid-point. It's not excitable but it is exciting, just not in a reckless manner. Ash is a tick toward dry but makes an inch of slightly flaky growth. A slighter amount of smoke out-put than is moderate sates the smoke-hole but leaves a bit of a lacking room-note. Aroma is spiced woodiness.

TASTE: A-
DRAW: A
BURN: A-
BUILD: A

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79

::: very :::

Monday, May 23, 2022

Punch Cigars Knuckle Buster Maduro Answers (through me) A Proust Questionnaire

Punch Cigars Knuckle Buster Maduro Answers (through me) A Proust Questionnaire

A bit ago, I posted an article here on KM about The Proust Questionnaire, about confession albums and in particular about one filled out by Arthur Conan Doyle (On Confession Albums, The Proust Questionnaire, and Arthur Conan Doyle). I (and Vanity Fair) find the questions to be potentially quite illuminating as a form of an interview. 

I've now smoked many of these Punch Knuckle Buster Maduro offerings. I even gave one an official KM write-up (Punch Cigars Knuckle Buster Maduro in Review). I'm happy with my efforts there but also, as our acquaintance has since grown, I began to feel the need to share a bit more about what makes this offering tick. Thus, I decided to channel its essence and fill out ACD's questionnaire as its sentient representative.

I'm smoking one as I type this. Here goes what I guess you can quite loosely call my interview of the Knuckle Buster Maduro by Punch.

Your favourite virtue? Toughness.

Your favourite qualities in man? Being a badass. Keeping a budget. 

Your favourite qualities in woman? Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets. Monogamy.

Your favourite occupation? Delivering one or two big notes.

Your chief characteristic? Smoky roasted additions to those notes.

Your idea of happiness? Watching street fights on IG Reels.

Your idea of misery? Apologizing.

Your favorite colour and flower? Black, precious metals. Not big on flowers.

If not yourself, who would you be? Sonny Liston, Mike Tyson, Joe Frazier.

Where would you like to live? Don't care. Maybe Philly.

Your favourite poets? Bukowski. St. Brigit.

Your favourite painters and composers? Edward Hopper.

Your favourite heroes in real life? Everyday fighters who never quit. 

Your favourite heroines in real life? My mom and my old lady.

Your favourite heroes in fiction? Rocky Balboa.

Your favourite heroines in fiction? No chick books.

Your favourite food and drink? Black coffee, Jack Daniels.

Your favorite names? Matthew, Luke, John, Mark.

Your pet aversion? Weak left hooks. Not earning your keep. Bragging.

What characters in history do you most dislike? Atheists.

What is your present state of mind? Let's go!

For what fault have you most toleration? Chasing skirts.

Your favourite motto? Let's go!

::: very :::

Saturday, May 21, 2022

What Would Happen if You Were to Keep Your Cigars & Pipe Tobacco as Sherlock Holmes Kept His? (Sherlock Holmes Day 2022 Edition)

What Would Happen if You Were to Keep Your Cigars & Pipe Tobacco as Sherlock Holmes Kept His? (Sherlock Holmes Day 2022 Edition)

This article was originally posted on 21 May 2021. Parts of it have been edited for this 2nd (2022) ed. That original post happens to have been the second-ever bit of Sherlockiana I published to KM. Ipso-facto, this is a bit of an anniversary for me. I am thankful for the acceptance my Holmes writings have garnered among my tobacciana readership. I am equally thankful for new to the fold Holmes readers who have accepted the cigar and pipe content. Chuffed, really.

Sherlock Holmes Day. You'd really think it would fall on 2/21 in homage to 221b Baker Street. Or maybe that's just me. Nevertheless, it's May 22. That's fine. After all, it is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's birthday. With a wink and a nod, without the literary agent ACD, perhaps we'd never know of Watson's constant chronicling. Still, how about September 26th to mark the end of The Great Hiatus via the publication of The Adventure of the Empty House? A hero back from the dead! A bit too Easter-ish? I digress.

Or perhaps I simply and finally begin.

Holmes was a man who smoked wisely. Meaning Doyle (we back away from The Game here) was a man who knew how to smoke. An accurate portrayal of vice, say. By which I mean, of course, of lifestyle. In loose-broad strokes, it went like this: pipes for contemplation, cigarettes during agitation, cigars during socialization. All quite good there. However, the care and maintenance of his premium tobaccos were, well, weird & shitty, at least according to Watson. But was it really all that terrible?

"But with me there is a limit, and when I find a man who keeps his cigars in the coal-scuttle, his tobacco in the toe end of a Persian slipper," The Adventure of the Musgrave Ritual [MUSG]. This is all ::: very ::: odd at first blush, certainly. But does it somehow hold up? Meaning, how long and well would the leaf last? You may ask that--at least I hope you may--because answering that is pretty much the crux of whatever this is. So that said, may you please?

Bear in mind Sherlock didn't fuck aro*nd when it came to burning thru his stash. "My body has remained in this armchair and has, I regret to observe, consumed in my absence two large pots of coffee and an incredible amount of tobacco." Hound of the Baskervilles [HOUN]. Elsewhere in the book, he alludes to smoking a pound of shag in a marathon sitting of elementary deducing. So perhaps long-term keeping wasn't the goal.

Nevertheless, I'll now employ my own powers of deduction to handicap some shelf-life timeframes & therefore measure the successes of these apparently outrageously absurd methods. We'll begin with his cigars. Might I also begin with an aside? Sherlock's era straddled two eras--the Victorian & Edwardian, to be precise. During the Victorian era, smoking was banned other than in private clubs and homes. No public smoking. Then came King Edward and his immortal smoky decree of "Gentlemen, you may smoke."

Okay, then. They were Cubans. Holmes smoked Cubans. That's right, we're back on track here. Important to realize is that he did so before humidors existed as we know them to exist today. He smoked even prior to what would now be considered antique humidors, which were lined in either copper or tin. This specific lining was used because inert metals impart no flavor and also inhibit the growth of mildews & molds. Wait for it... coal-scuttles were made of at times made of copper & our man looks less odd, maybe.

Also, we don't know how many smokes he kept on-hand. Too, we don't know how many he smoked a day. But I did do some online window shopping & found that coal-scuttles and 10ct. travel humidors are in the same ballpark size-wise. So, 10 cigars, say two a day (one for him, one for a guest or Watson), is five days in the (perchance) copper albeit open confines and I daresay no worse for wear than when first purchased. Probably because they were dry as a bone to begin with. Cigars were often dipped in spirits while smoked, in order to be resuscitated. Brandy, a famed 221b drink, would do the trick.

Smart. Sherlock Holmes is super smart. I'm envious. Now onto his shag pipe tobacco. In short, it was dark, likely Black Cavendish, and well-coarser than today's cut. Also of fairly lower quality. He smoked pipes more often than cigars. When we learn he smoked that aforementioned pound, I feel he smoked his cellar. I do recall him, at other times, asking Dr. Watson to buy a pound of the stuff when he ran low. Let's again look at his consumption. A typical smoker gets 3 months off a pound. Holmes is a prodigiously prolific smoker, at least whilst working a caseload of three-pipe problems.

Holmes knows his needs, not the needs of those others. Tobacco is what fueled him. He could put down a pound in not months, not weeks, but days. Days would be how long pipe tobacco lasts in a cloth or leather tobacco pouch. Cloth or leather is what Persian slippers are made out of. This is looking quite less and then quite less again odd. Let's go a step further in our ideating. The pointed toe of a Persian slipper really packs in the freshness & jamming some new more-moist shag down atop old, adds said moisture. If my guess of Black Cavendish holds, that is a known wet variety. For the record, I imagine he predominantly smoked Virginia leaf.

Now it's time for a breakdown. Tobacco storage is always a topic of discussion amongst imbibers. Particularly amongst nascent imbibers who go in deep right off the bat by buying too much. Here's my suggestion: stop worrying so much about what's good for your tobacco & what others might think. Let your tobacconist handle the former and simply drop the latter. Start worrying about what's good for you. Know that. You might not be able to be Batman, but you could be Holmes in this context. Have a good for you amount on-hand, stored humbly. You know where you can get more. Stop letting your habit, by which I, of course, mean hobby keep you up at night.

What Would Happen if You Were to Keep Your Cigars & Pipe Tobacco as Sherlock Holmes Kept His? Maybe you'd be a bit happier, sure--you'd at least be less annoying in online forums. "Just smoked my first cigar. How do I store the other 499 I bought?" I really impressed myself with this one, Gentlepersons. [Although as time wears on I find myself less-impressed in all honesty.] I'm [still] glad you got to read it, as I'm sure you are as well. Happy Sherlock Holmes Day!

Now, on a final note, remember: Doyle wrote Sherlock to be smarter than Watson; expertly-so here.

::: very :::

Friday, May 20, 2022

Three Recent Cigar Bands Reviewed and Ranked | Cohiba, El Rey Del Mundo, and Punch Cigars

Three Recent Cigar Bands Reviewed and Ranked | Cohiba (Serie M), El Rey Del Mundo (En Vidrio), and Punch (Knuckle Buster Maduro) Cigars

Please see both the title of this post and its subsequent (mainly) repetitive subtitle for any bearing you may need as to expectations here. Also please note that the cigar names listed below are links to their full reviews here on KM. Thank you and have a wonderful read.

Cohiba Serie M
(Primary band)

I have a small confession, I don't really ever like Cohiba's packaging designs. From checkered cabs (a neat-enough look in the right place/time) to signs over payday loan stores trying to look super bank-ish, somewhere between is where these designs tend to fall into my mind's eye. This incorporates green, the color of sick or envy. Also money. In this particular shade, of a racing green Jaguar, I (and I daresay most) can't afford. The cigar is not inexpensive--how much more must a smoker afford in order to belong?

Of interest is the UPC code printed right on the band. I don't recall seeing that elsewhere but I also know I never so closely scrutinized as now. My question is why this is necessary as the cigar came in cellophane. Smack the sticker on that? Who knows. A red-centered 'O' is also a bright full-stop achievement of being on-brand. Straight gold lines rigidly and unimaginatively lift and separate like a good brassiere. A nice flair is an art-deco type flourishing around 'Limited Edition.' although that font is too small.

'SERIE M' More gold, better-sized font. I appreciate that smaller font because I believe they squeezed it in there to be visible when looking head-on at the thing. Black backdrops the white Cohiba and there is sneakily much going on in the subtle mod band. also, it's embossed and too, a bit thinner-feeling than the other three--or perhaps more supple. It delivers the message and maintains the company vibe, and I really don't like it anyway. It is cold and unlovely. Bronze medal.

El Rey Del Mundo Naturals En Vidrio

In case anyone is wondering, this is the size and shape a cigar band should be. The size is modest. The shape is a boxing world championship belt. Marvelous. The back-drop is gold and all is heavily embossed and we are cooking on gas, baby! Shields, coins, some drapey fabric, or some ribbons are missing from the holy trinity but STILL GAS. You know what? There seems to be bunting of a sort atop the shield with a cross emblazoned on it. Over that, a crown. Wait... is this what the kids call 'fan service?'

Some clean outlines are colored red and yellow-orange and oh, behind the gold and white shield emblem is that same yellow-orange. Red letters on that, and easily read. White on the same red "HAND" and "MADE" boldly flank the sides. I count three crosses. "IMPORTED" is stressed and seems so deliciously classic. I sit here and look at the thing. The edges of its widest top-to-bottom spot give me the impression of wings. The WWE 'Winged Eagle' belt. Yeah. The excellence of execution.

As I look at it the red and yellow-orange are sort of beginning to meld. To hazily bleed. What's on those coins? Dunno. Resting bitchface has taken over. Candy stripes? Are those edges too pin-striping in appearance and incongruent? My eyes start to lazily fixate in a manner with which you'd look at a magic eye poster. I could never do those. There is suddenly so much it's bland. Or made bland. The irritable old man, turning off his hearing aid so as to zone out from the bombardment of young voices. Gold medal.


Why are the brass knuckles silver? I can't even. The palm part of the knucks is crown-shaped and the whole thing sorta sits crown-like atop. The whole silver-danged thing. Silver brass knuckles. My head hurts. There are bold gold straight framing lines. Gold coins. White "KNUCKLE BUSTER" in an apropos font. "MADURO" is printed in silver on the stark-vacant black bottom-half. The top is curved and the bottom is flat and the asymmetricalness of this doesn't bother me much. 

I like this shape more than the straight-edged Cohiba.

There is a modest amount of embossing but so much unused space. I cannot tell if this offends me. The message is stated, delivered, and clearly-so. It shouldn't bother me. There's not a whole lot else happening here. Nice quality paper. Even a more bit of info on its reverse-side. That's a nifty touch. A classic bit of Punch iconography and URL. It's all well thought out and delivered. The middle of three rated objects always, in my experience, warrants the least being said of it. Silver knuckles medal.

::: very :::

Thursday, May 19, 2022

On The Adventure of the First Class Carriage by Ronald Knox | Sherlock Holmes Pastiche (And a Bit About the Author)

"The Apocryphal Sherlock Holmes | The Adventure of the First Class Carriage | By Ronald A Knox | After Sir Arthur Conan Doyle | Illustrated by Tom Purvis | In Loving Memory of Sidney Paget"

First, a few words about Monsignor Ronald Arbuthnott Knox (1888-1957). He was first a chaplain in the Church of England, and then a priest in the Roman Catholic Church. During his time as the latter, he completed his 1950 namesake Knox Bible translation fully called The Holy Bible: A Translation from the Latin Vulgate in the Light of the Hebrew and Greek Originals. It is quite the proper British rendition.

He also was a radio broadcaster whose 1926 BBC hoax of reporting on a fake revolution in London gave Orson Wells the idea for his own radio tomfoolery in 1938 with The War of the Worlds. Most importantly to anyone interested in what passes for Sherlockian Scholarship around these parts, he was a founding father of that, and this via his satirical (in The Game) 1912 essay "Studies in the Literature of Sherlock Holmes."

Moreover, he is well-regarded for creating his own detective fiction, as well as his Ten Rules of (Golden Age) Detective Fiction listicle of note. Finally, for the purposes of this abridged but glowing resume of an all-time oeuvre, he wrote this bit of Sherlock Holmes pastiche. It strikes me I have not accomplished a fraction of what Ronald Knox has, now I get to critique a bit of his work on my blog. What a time to be alive.


[SPOILERS AHEAD. 1947]


Sic vos non vobis states Holmes at this tightly and sprightly written tale's end. You work, but not for yourselves. Perhaps there is a nod there towards pastiche and, more importantly, pastiche done right. The work is not for you, but for the character, for Doyle indirectly, and as well. With this understanding, whether hinted at it in the Latin or not, Knox delivers a fine line extension to the consulting detective's portfolio.

A trick of Doyle-esque employed heavily here is in two-ways to conjure up other tales. One is to be reminiscent of prior cases, and the other is to allude in passing to unpublished stories. In the case of the latter, I miss never having read The Luminous Cigar-Box which (probably) was never written. As to the former, we see shades of The Musgrave Ritual (a riddle of a map), The Reigate Squire(s) (a torn handwritten note & handwriting analysis), and lastly in any number of identity playings and disappearings, replete with James Phillimore reference.

All this but still, there is something about this story that feels more wrong than it should, after getting so much if not all so right. Perhaps it's just Knox being almost lyrical in tone as compared to ACD and probably more-so a tick bit subversive in a hard-to-hide sardonic leaning. The twist of having Holmes' hallmark of ignoring 'class distinctions' back-fire on him or at least seem to potentially disappoint is interesting. Come to think of it the 'admirably clear' Mrs. John Hennessey reads a lot like Josiah Amberley, the lone canonical guilty party coming to Holmes for assistance.

Then there are echoes of 'kit nor kin' in 'chick nor child,' and really at times, one might think that writing excellent pastiche is something of a cut & paste fit the puzzle together sort of thing but really, really--it's more of a collage. An upcycling. In the end, Knox assembles a fantastic collage. That is other than when Holmes... well, I'll let the author tell you: "And while we stood there literally thunder-struck, he tore off the red beard from a chin marked with a scar on the left-hand side." (Yes, quite the Twisted Lip scenario.)

It's good to know that the word 'literally' has been being bastardized af since at least 1947. It reads a bit Scooby-Doo, here as it did there. Holmes as the meddling kids? 

Sic vos non vobis can also be translated as You do the work, another takes the credit. This can be levied in accusations of plagiarism. I wonder if Knox was being too hard on himself. This is not plagiarism nor copy/paste. This is, in all honesty, one of the finest pastiches I've read, and ultimately, here is why--It is humble. Now here's the lone issue I have with it: Knox reports through Watson as if he is smarter by far. Doyle only had him himself a hair-bit smarter and man, it reads quite differently. Succinctly, Knox is a wit, Doyle is a grinder. A universe-building queen bee should be kept smarter than its caretaker drones.

It's up to the drones of later generations to not overstep. The good news is ACD was fairly brilliant and the bad news is this makes things here a bit silly. Incongruent. Sprightly, nonetheless. "They are sprightly--very sprightly.' Milverton answered." [CHAS]. My guess here is Knox is indeed humble as they come but also trying to find self-worth, or prove it, within this pastiche and at this time in regards to his fictional writings writ large. Let's understand that his career in fiction was cut short due to his bishop finding the practice to be beneath a Catholic priest.

A wit for the ages with a subconscious chip on his shoulder.

But again, this is, beyond Sherlock Holmes pastiche, a fine case told extremely well. A short one that reads quick yet leaves the taste in your mouth of superb characters and well-kept quarters. All that, plus a train is included and I'm a sucker for trains. Nice deductions, too. A final note as to my aforementioned 'back-fire' is that another way this excels is it feels Holmes had it all figured out before you even realized he did. But when exactly? "There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact" [BOSC]. 

Some fine canonical quotes would be equally at home in [FIRS] and easily well.

::: very :::

Online sources for this article include: The Arthur Conan Doyle Encyclopedia (Ronald A Knox, The Adventure of the First Class Carriage), and Wikipedia (Ronald Knox, Knox Bible).

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Partagas Anejo in (Kaplowitz Scale) Review | Partagas Project VIII

Partagas Anejo in (Kaplowitz Scale) Review | Partagas Project VIII (8th review, 9th over-all installment*)

WRAPPER: Cameroon/Connecticut Shade
BINDER: Dominican
FILLER: Mexican, Dominican

FORMAT: Petit Robusto (4.5x49) Barber-pole
ORIGIN: General Cigar Dominicana
INTENSITY: kaplOwitz

APPEARANCE: kaplowItz
COMBUSTION: kaplowiTz
CONSTRUCTION kaplowItz

FLAVOR: kaploWitz
BODY: kaplOwitz
STRENGTH: kaPlowitz

SWEET: kaplowItz
SOUR: kaplowiTz
SALTY: kAplowitz
BITTER: kapLowitz
UMAMI: kaPlowitz

SPICE: kapLowitz

COMPLEXITY: kaPlowitz
CONSISTENCY: kaploWitz
BALANCE: kapLowitz

FINAL GRADE: kaplowItz

*Below is the schedule of this 'Partagas Project.' You have just read 9.

1. Intro (about the blend & project)
2. Review (Regular)
3. Review (Sherlock Holmes)
4. Review (Something quirky)
5. Review (Cigar Aficionado style)
6. Review (Limerick)
7. Review (Long-form)
8. Review (Flavor wheel)
9. Review (Kaplowitz Scale review)
10. Review (Synesthesia review**)
11. Review (Primary tastes)
12. Overview

** I have decided to change the planned Doggerel poem to a Synesthesia review. I apologize for any convenience.

[PLEASE NOTE: regardless of which installment of this multi-post project you come in on, you can find the rest of the entries by employing the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen. Simply enter "Partagas Project." Thank you.]

::: very :::

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

The Kaplowitz Media. Podcast | Episode Four

The Kaplowitz Media. Podcast | Episode Four (Dueling Dictionaries)

In this episode, I compare two of my latest Sherlock Holmes used book finds. They are The Sherlock Holmes Encyclopedia by Orlando Park* and The Encyclopaedia Sherlockiana by Jack Tracy**. I let fate pick one entry in one book, then look up that same entry in the other. Then I reverse the books and do it again. Then again. AND FINALLY ANOTHER AGAIN. Savvy? Sure. I also share some other thoughts on the comparison and finally pick the winning book.

Simply press play below to listen. Like and subscribe to The Kaplowitz Media. Podcast on your preferred podcast player. Rate and review while you're at it.


::: very :::

*Park, Orlando, The Sherlock Holmes Encyclopedia, New York. Avenel Books, 1985. **Tracy, Jack, The Encyclopaedia Sherlockiana, Garden City New York, Doubleday & Company Inc, 1977.

Monday, May 16, 2022

Gurkha Cigars Revenant Corojo in Review

Gurkha Cigars Revenant Corojo in Review

WRAPPER: Honduran Corojo
BINDER: Cameroon
FILLER: Dominican, Nicaraguan, broadleaf.

FORMAT: Robusto box press
ORIGIN: Tabacalera El Artista, Dominican Republic
INTENSITY: Mild-medium/Medium

NOTES:
White pepper | Lemon meringue | Beach sand

Quite earthen, exhibited in a beach sand manner. Throw a beach blanket over that, but it's made of suede. Lemony and creamy (lemon meringue, say) with a bit of a toasty vibe attached. Graham cracker crust. Sweet, simply-so, via table sugar. Not cloying. Finely ground white pepper firms-up the profile, keeps it honest and structured. Floral-almost-perfumed on the back-end. Tastes a bit like summer.

Sunny not glaring not fogged, just nice. Well-balanced. Not at all complex really, but some aerated soft nuances. Fluffy. A bit of fine grit to the mouth-feel. Some dried pale fruit comes in at mid-point for a slight transition of sorts. Finishes sweet and easy if not breezy. Nothing spectacular but well-kind and with a bit of welcomed backbone. After the pale fruit addition, comes a far-away salted buttery cedar.

The ash stacks impressively. The draw is excellent. Burns evenly on a tick-wide mascara line. Seams aren't tight but don't loosen any further along the way. No hard/soft spots. A moderate amount of smoke out-put seems to pull-back after the mid-point. Sweet pale spice aroma, subtly. Not much of a room-note, maybe a hint of cardboard. A pleasant smoke. Unfortunately, I predict also a forgettable one.

TASTE: B+
DRAW: A-
BURN: A-
BUILD: B+

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79

::: very :::

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Important Update on the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

Important Update on the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary (UCD) Project

In my most recent update (XII) regarding my UCD endeavor, I cited issues surrounding the rising price of paper, an important consideration in self-publishing--or at least in making any sort of a profit. This, as pages upon paper pages displayed electronically on my screen, in order to hold endlessly accumulating entries. Cutting the page count seemed at first the proper action. But what to cut? I surely must, I reasoned, provide that one obscure term as it is known in both Cuban as well as Nicaraguan factories.

Right?

Perhaps. But then on the eventual heels of that bit of banging my head against a brick wall, I realized another thing entirely. Many new cigar smokers were making a somewhat similar mistake. They wanted to know everything. Jargo, lingo, trade talk, the whole nine yards--on day one. Sometimes day zero. I love words, language, the whole ball of wax. Maybe I'll just make an ebook, I thought to myself. Take that, Big Paper! It's then that I saw my mistake clearly as I did theirs. Enjoyment had become over-looked.

Cigar smoking is, after all, about enjoyment. Not about definitions. Not about trying to understand how to maintain a 100-count humidor when you're two cigars into your 'smoking career.' It's about the experience, and again, enjoying it. "I can't taste what those other guys taste, and also should I keep my 500 cigars in a wine refrigerator or coolerdor? Just smoked my first one ever." That's a common-place theme. Equally as common as my efforts at playing lexicographer with "Do I include all terms meaning Tobacco House?"

Where did our enjoyment go? Poof, that's where. Some knowledge enhances enjoyment, sure. Like understanding olfactory stimuli and how to fix any of the myriad potential burn or draw issues. Many other bits of information often do not. Some can even hamper. What's that metal clasp on a wooden cigar box called? Brooch. Virtually pointless. Where is this leaf grown and from which priming was it obtained? Less pointless but also not key in the pursuit of pleasure.

At best some info is simply nice to know but in the early game comes off as precocious or worse yet, as the actions of a poseur. I recall writing in one of my UCD entries to not fully worry about whatever it was I was fumbling to succinctly define--as they'd cover that within your probationary training period after getting hired at the cigar factory. Also, it's well and good to learn as you go and grow, and not hit the streets as a theory maven--to instead let the practice unfurl. Again, it is best to learn enjoyment first.

Nevertheless or entirely due to all that, I have begun moving forward in this project from a bit of a different angle. Again, with enjoyment as an educational goal and not jargon. Practice over theory. This shift requires a fair amount of rewriting of what's not immediately chopped and fell to the cutting-room floor. That's on my end. On the user side, the NO TIMEFRAME end result to expect is an A-Z twenty-six essay chapbook (small, stapled book) with hopefully a handful of black and white illustrations.

A is for AROMA, say--with my thoughts as to just that. B is for BURN... So on, and so forth. As to sharing updates as I have been doing with the UCD, I'm quite thinking not. Thanks for bearing with me and if you haven't, thanks for that too. So, I will re-begin and flag everyone down near the end. Then inundate you at the end with desperate pleas for purchase. My goal is to keep the price of the said purchase at around that of a decent cigar.

UPDATED 8/14/2022

I am glad to say that I am now in the home stretch of getting this thing off to the printers. STILL NO TIME FRAME. Of note: it will not be in the form of the ABC essays I mentioned earlier. It will instead be a booklet on how to enjoy a cigar, written to be read as you smoke one. Within that time allotment and at (again) about that same (nice cigar) price-point.

::: very :::

Friday, May 13, 2022

Partagas Anejo in (Flavor Wheel) Review | Partagas Project VII

Partagas Anejo in (Flavor Wheel) Review | Partagas Project VII (7th review, 8th overall installment*)

For this installment of the Partagas Project, I'll be using a flavor wheel from the Cigar World website. There are no small amount of flavor wheels available, but I found this one to be on a manageable scale. Please note also my methodology which is this: beginning at the center-bullseye, I follow the flow to the next layer of notes, citing all that pertain. As I said, there are larger, more tiered wheels. They are to be operated in the same manner, working out from in, following the detected flavors.

WRAPPER: Cameroon/Connecticut Shade
BINDER: Dominican
FILLER: Mexican, Dominican

FORMAT: Petit Robusto (4.5x49) Barber-pole
ORIGIN: General Cigar Dominicana
INTENSITY: Medium

[Notes listed in no particular order beyond capitalized lead.]

PLANTS: tobacco, oak, CEDAR, tea.

HERBS & SPICES: black pepper, WHITE PEPPER, green pepper.

EARTH & MINERALS: earth, MINERAL, salt.

FRUITS: orange zest, CITRUS, raisin (white: my addition).

NUTS: peanut.

OTHER FLAVORS: coffee w/ milk, caramel, HONEY.

FLOWERS: n/a

NONE FLAVOR: dry.

:::

*Below is the schedule of this 'Partagas Project.' You have just read 8.

1. Intro (about the blend & project)
2. Review (Regular)
3. Review (Sherlock Holmes)
4. Review (Something quirky)
5. Review (Cigar Aficionado style)
6. Review (Limerick)
7. Review (Long-form)
8. Review (Flavor wheel)
9. Review (Kaplowitz Scale review)
10. Review (Synesthesia review**)
11. Review (Primary tastes)
12. Overview

** I have decided to change the planned Doggerel poem to a Synesthesia review. I apologize for any convenience.

[PLEASE NOTE: regardless of which installment of this multi-post project you come in on, you can find the rest of the entries by employing the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen. Simply enter "Partagas Project." Thank you.]

::: very :::

Thursday, May 12, 2022

A Brief and Abridged Overview of Boxing History in England | On Williams from Sherlock Holmes The Sign of the Four

A Brief & Abridged Overview of Boxing History in England | On Williams from Sherlock Holmes The Sign of the Four

"Williams, who drove you to-night, was one of them. He was once light-weight champion of England." - The Sign of the Four [SIGN], Thaddeus Sholto. The tale was published in 1890 and set in 1888. It is Arthur Conan Doyle's second Sherlock Holmes novel and was first published in Philadelphia's Lippincott's Monthly Magazine. That publication would later move to New York and become known as McBride's Magazine before eventually merging with Scribner's Magazine in 1916.

Much of that previous paragraph is neither here nor there but one must admit that both Philly and NY(C, I'd imagine) are a decent pair of fighting towns. Perhaps even fighting towns that a pugilist of the time might hop the pond in order to ply his wares in. I spent a fair amount of time, a fair amount of time back, attempting to link this Williams character to a historical prize-fighter. I mean the light-weight champ of England should leave an albeit diminutive foot-print.

So, the game was afoot and I came up short of it. I'll explain why. It has to do with the dawning of boxing history in a legally sanctioned and documented sense. It's murky. Our man Williams is lost in that time, fallen between the cracks of change. Adrift in professional pugilism's primordial ooze. Or just a briefly mentioned fellow in a work of fiction. Regardless, maybe we can understand him a bit more by understanding the period in which he fictionally fought his way out of Arthur Conan Doyle's pen.

Now, I'll ask you to sit back, smoke 'em if you got 'em, and enjoy the jarring ride of my frustration-filled research.

The first British light-weight champ was coronated as such in April of 1908. His name was Jack Goldswain and he held the belt until November of the same year. Prior to that, he held the English & Imperial Ten Stone (140 pounds) Title in 1906. So immediately, it seems that Doyle took some liberty in his Williams character. The dates simply do not align. One might even begin to feel that ACD was as well-versed in boxing as Silver Blaze showed him to not be in horse racing. Nevertheless, we are not yet sunk.

To be done with the Londoner Goldswain, however, I'll say when he was done his record read 82 wins (34 by way of KO) 40 losses, and 12 draws. Was he always a participant in legally sanctioned and documented matches? I'd hazard the answer of maybe no. I'd guess that because I'd assume, like other fighters of the time, he didn't always fight under the auspices of the National Sporting Club (or under anything at all) although it was formed well before in 1891. I feel safe in assuming his official record, lengthy as it is, does not include all his fights. Accounts are muddied. But let's dwell a bit on the aforementioned club.

It was formed as a private club in London by John Fleming and AF 'Peggy' Bettinson, with Hugh Cecil Lowther, the 5th Earl of Lonsdale seated as its President. What Mahler did to enforce audience etiquette, so too did these gentlemen do for the sport of boxing. There was no talking allowed as the fights were fought, a lovely dinner was served prior, and the club quickly became renown for its fair-play, lifting the sport from its dirtier roots. The Lord Lonsdale Challenge Belt, awarded by the Earl, was given to the best at each weight, beginning in 1909. Still missing our man Williams by at the least some two decades.

The owner of the first Lightweight Lonsdale Belt was Freddy Welsh who defeated Johnny Summers in November of '09. The 'Welsh Wizard' turned pro in 1905 Philadelphia (see, I told you) and spent much of his career vying for championships with the likes of the Legendary "Battling Nelson," amongst other top-flite contenders. Down the road, he eventually lost a strap to another legend, Benny Leonard. In all his documented 160 professional bouts, he tasted defeat only five times. "A mere bag of shells." - Ralph Kramden.

But then what was happening prior to and even alongside the National Sporting Club? Oh, a wonderfully seedy mess, that's what. Before we go there, though, let's jump ahead a moment in history. The NSC stumbled through the late twenties and thirties, opened to the public in 1928, and was fully shut down in 1938 as WWII took hold. In 1929, the newly-formed (somewhat from the NSC) British Boxing Board of Control took, well, control, and has been there ever since up and till now. They are the governing body of professional boxing in the UK.

Just ask Tyson Fury about all that.

I know, I promised to travel the other way in time, back to a landscape more familiar to Thaddeus Sholto's former light-weight champ and then porter Williams. There were many illegal and/or unsanctioned varieties of underground fisticuffs around this time. Wrestling (what would become pro wrestling but was then catch-as-catch-can) was shown alongside gloved and (I believe) bare-knuckle fights. Sometimes the fighters, as well as the fights, overlapped in terms of participants and styles. It was a corrupt and bloody bit of a sordid business.

Also, however, there was England Boxing. Formed in 1880 under the then nom de ring of Amateur Boxing Association of England, the organization also continues through till this day. This is the first time our timeline favorably aligns with our Williams. That being outside of the darker more barbarous outlets I've just mentioned. I do see him as at least somewhat of a gentleman, so I believe him likely to have fought under the rules of this or some organization.

Perhaps he even contested within their 1881 inaugural England Boxing Amateur National Championships (AKA the ABA Championships). He simply would have had to have been a member of a boxing club and registered with England Boxing. Here, we again and more timely-so find a light-weight champion, a man named Fred M Hobday, representing the Clapton ABC club. I sadly can find no more in regards to him.

In regards to the Clapton ABC Boxing Club, however, well there ain't nothing there either. A better-remembered club active at that time went by the name of Polytechnic Boxing Club. It was formed in 1888 on the grounds of the Royal Polytechnic Institute, hence its name. The locale would later go on to host the University of Westminster. Poly Club went on to have three of their men boast of being ABA champs: Bert Brewer (1899), Harry Holmes (1908), and WJ Hunt (1929).

These boxing clubs seem to have popped up in and around London and acted anywhere from gnarly fight clubs to charitable type organizations to (as in the case of Polytechnic) running or being run by their own in-house magazines, education, and vocational training programs. It is more than a bit difficult to find precise information about these clubs. I grow ever-so weary. Let's now take it back a bit further to a better-documented time and matter. A time around when our Williams would have been a young lad...

1867 is where our bumpy ride sees its last stop. This is quite curious because it might also be the first call of all aboard if this article were to have been written in a clear or at least linear manner. The Marquess of Queensbury rules begins the modern boxing journey. The rules were penned then by John Graham Chambers under the sponsorship of one John Sholto Douglas, ninth Marquess of Queensbury. John Sholto, to be clear, was the name of Thaddeus Sholto's father who first employed Williams.

I went an awfully long way for that payoff and was as surprised as you are now to find this out. You've been reading my research in real-time if that hasn't been clear. What fun! What fun?

The real-life John Sholto brought upon the downfall of his son's purported lover, Oscar Wilde. I did not touch much at all on The Sign of the Four in this article. Not even enough to issue a SPOILERS AHEAD. 1890) warning atop it. But as with all my writings, Sherlockian in particular, I'd love if it acted as an impetus for you to read more. Start with reading or re-reading SIGN. Also please note that Doyle was commissioned to write this story over a dinner he shared with the editor and Oscar Wilde.

::: very :::

Online sources for this article include: Project Gutenberg, Wikipedia (The Sign of the Four, List of British Lightweight boxing champions, Jack Goldswain, Lonsdale Belt, Freddy Welsh, British Boxing Board of Control, England Boxing, Polytechnic Boxing Club, John Douglas 9th Marquess of Queensbury), Boxrec (Jack Goldswain), London Remembers (National Sporting Club), England Boxing (Our History), and Brittanica (Marquess of Queensbury rules).

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

On the Indian Cigars of Sherlock Holmes and the Trichinopoly Cigar

On the Indian Cigars of Sherlock Holmes and the Trichinopoly Cigar

The Indian or Trichinopoly cigar was a quite popular offering in Victorian England, to the tune of being one of the largest imports from India at that time. In the Holmesian canon, it appears and plays a role in A Study in Scarlet, The Adventure of the Speckled Band, and The Boscombe Valley Mystery just to name a few, or perhaps all occurrences. I'm lazily researching this one in the hopes it helps deliver on an at-times requested light brevity.

We'll stay at the rim of the rabbit hole for this one. Thus here goes my attempt at succinctness. They received their nom de tobacco from their association via manufacture with the city of Tiruchirappalli then known as, you guessed it, Trichinopoly. However, they were not simply rolled in India but also made of leaf grown there, near a town called Dindigul.

Their fermentation process, at least at times, included various distilled fruit juices, the evaporated water from sugar cane juice or palm sap (jaggery), and honey. This puts me in mind of the honeydew tobacco mentioned in The Adventure of the Cardboard Box. At least a well-sized portion of folks then preferred a seemingly cloyingly sweet smoke. I posit that this off-set nicely both the foul odors of air and foul tastes of mouths that I associate with the era. Sanitation and toothbrushes each being in their nascent stages.

[The teeth of Sherlock Holmes will be a future monograph here at Kaplowitz Media.]

That pre-bracketed statement stated, the slightly further along in time GK Chesterton (Trichinopli) in his Father Brown tale The Salad of Colonel Cray also mentions this cheroot-style cigar. As does Alfred Hitchcock in his further-yet down the road 1938 The Lady Vanishes, including a bit of Holmes dress-up. In the very real WWII world, Tri(t)chies found favor in no other than Winston Churchill's oft Cuban smoke-filled eyes. He apparently liked their lighter aroma much more than Helen Stoner and her twin sister did in The Speckled Band.

That's quite a run and the run continues today with the last surviving purveyor, Fenn Thompson & Co. Royal Cigar Works. The company seems to also now offer tobaccos from more familiar regions and I understand they take orders and deliver anywhere (not a sponsor). I also understand that my birthday is all the way from now in February but too, Father's Day is right around the corner.

::: very :::

Online sources for this article include: Internet Archive, Lit2Go, I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere, Wikipedia (Trichinopoly cigar, Tiruchirappalli), and First Post (The last drags of a famed Trichinopoly cigar). 

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

On Watson's Modest Moustache and More Current Natural Mustache Styles

On Watson's Modest Moustache and More Current Natural Mustache Styles

From the Adventure of the Naval Treaty [NAVA] to The Red Circle [REDC], and there's no good reason not to think all other canonical points from prior to post, Watson famously is a mustachioed gentleman. To say the ::: very ::: least, he likely sported the look for much of his adult life. His boyhood friend, a Percy Phelps, made reference to it in NAVA with, "I should never have known you under that moustache." Which tells us that boy Watson had not yet grown it out--although most definitely wished to.

In REDC (near the opposite end of the canon) Holmes notes, "Why, Watson, even your modest moustache would have been singed." Modest, near as I can see, acts as the lone written mention of size in regards to the good doctor's lip-brow. As confirmed in The Retired Colourman, Watson is quite canonically sexy and a smallish dapper soup-straining appendage can be quite the debonaire accouterment. Although there he was far more intrigued by walls than the fairer sex. Nevertheless.

It would seem then, again through the term modest, that the dashing Watson sported what is known as a natural style of 'stache. This is as opposed to the types that require greater length and thus to be waxed; such as those with 'handles,' be it for handlebars or an English. Natural mustaches tend to simply be combed downward toward the lip or kept close-cropped. More on that in a bit. For instance, my own failed English (handles straight not curled) became a Chevron because I don't like to preen and have coarse hair that requires much preening. Again, more later.

[Also, I realized I'd look patently preposterous as the goal came into view.]

Before that bracketed sentiment, I vaguely specified 'later.' Now, let's examine mustaches as a whole at the time of the late Victorian-early Edwardian eras and then how Watson's Philtrum koozie compared to its stiff (upper-lip British) competition. Firstly, it was no rarity, particularly since he was a serviceman. Between the years 1860-1916, the British Army did not simply suggest mustaches be grown--they in fact required it. Unless one was not able to grow one. God help that probably constantly ribbed poor fellow who could not.

The styles soon grew to wild proportions of flamboyantly displayed virility. Stuff got hairy. No chin hair was ever accepted during that time from what I could tell but the mandated zones of follicular activity seemed to have pushed past the boundaries of decency. This replete with whiskers, or sideburns. That is until 1906 when all that was apparently reigned in by The King's Regulations which stated those whiskers should be tidy and that mustaches shall be pulled back into the realm of sane semblance. Shortly afterward as WWI broke out, things got way pulled back so that gasmasks would fit more effectively.

Nevertheless, much of this seems to scan as the military allowing an overwhelming social trend, using it in such a way as to make its men look fierce (as was a timely line of logic then), and finally regulating the heck out of it by diminishing measures. Although I am no expert here and this is vastly for entertainment purposes only, dammit. I do know by the time 1916 came around, popular support for mustaches was waning significantly.

Looking outside of the services, things remained at least as fuzzy and/or furry all along. The streets of London were loaded with handlebars of all sorts and walruses to boot. The less said about the whiskers, the better. Beards were tremendously in vogue as well. It was truly the golden age of facial hair. Today's craze has nothing on that hirsute halcyon time. As a perhaps curious aside, the hair on the head stayed relatively tame and short throughout--a thing we see again now. 

All that said and digressing back to Watson, a civil modest approach spoke volumes to his restrained personality. Also, I would reckon it was in the military that Watson's childhood dream of donning a mustache came true.

Moving abruptly forward in time to the present, the mustache has followed the beard back into style. Really, though, the beard followed Tom Selleck (and probably your 1970-80s father and uncles) back in, and now the mustache is again somewhat en fuego. This time in the handlebar wearing hipsters and the more macho yet cheeky sect of Superman and the two Rons (Burgundy and Swanson.) I have previously* discussed handlebars. For this article, I have titularly promised a look at the natural styles.

So let's delve at long last into that.

The Chevron is the most natural of styles. The hair is grown from above the bottom of the nose (if yours grows there) to down-over the top lip, but not into the mouth. Although if you do grow into and then past the mouth, you have yourself a Walrus. (A real mind-bender is to realize a walrus can be waxed into a handlebar.) The sides should extend roughly a quarter of an inch beyond the corners of your lips. All this makes for varying lengths of wide-bold statements.

Lesser-bold and more of a pain to up-keep is the Lampshade. but it is still the most robust of the pyramidal styles. Here, the hair is not allowed to extend beyond the corners of the mouth, nor is it allowed to creep up to the lowest part of your nose. It is also trimmed into a, well, lampshade shape. It also does not pass the upper-lip line. By far, this is less common than the easy-breezy laid-back man's man Chevron.

Another less common option is the Paintbrush which is either a thin (top-to-bottom) Chevron, or a bushy pencil-thin mustache. Kind of a 'hybrid,' a word which conjures up the JFK musing of "Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm." Meaning it doesn't so much work overly well. But in a way, many a splendid mustache doesn't work well at all. It's one of life's greatest mysteries.

So what hair would I pin on lady-killer Watson's upper-lip? Well, I've already said that there is but one written mention of size, that being 'modest,' in all of canon. But it is my opinion that the accompanying original illustrations fall under the auspices of canon, as well. That stated, according to Paget's pics, I'd say a Chevron with (at times a varying) bit of a natural upwardness to its ends. Richard Gutschmidt seems to add some girth and droopier ends. Also there is a thick and closer to the corners of the lip FH Townsend entry. Frank Wiles seemed on-par with Paget.

Then, or more correctly first, there was DH Friston's Watson who apparently bore the fullest mustache (although there's Frederic Dorr Steele) of the given lot. Others have drawn Watson but I suddenly have a fleeting interest in brevity. It's all a bit hard to pin-point and mustaches are changeable week-to-week. But according to my headcanon, it's something pyramidical. Although again, if I were to think through a historical lens, the illustrations would ring true. Which really throws light on how marvelous the mustaches were back then, to have thought that thing modest.

::: very :::

*The Heavy Mustache of Leonardo (and a Limerick in Ode to the Mustache Cup) | Also All About the Handlebar

Online sources for this article include: I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere, The Vintage News, and Wikisource.

Monday, May 9, 2022

The Country Squire Green Dragon (Middle Earth Series) Pipe Tobacco in Review

The Country Squire Green Dragon (Middle Earth Series) Pipe Tobacco in Review

CATEGORY: Straight Virginia
BLEND: Virginia
FLAVORING: no

BLENDER: John David Cole
MANUFACTURER: The Country Squire Tobacconist

CUT: Ribbon
PIPE: Old German Clay no. 3 (black)
INTENSITY: Mild-Medium

NOTES:
Sweet hay | Buttery oak | White raisins

Breathy sweet somethings sound better than whispered sweet nothings. Let's run with the deserved former, then. Silky smooth sips. Grassy hay, a tick yeasty, a bit pale nutty-toasty. Somewhat of a pastry vibe. A white wine allusion, particularly on the back-end. An oaken butteriness. Quite light in the mouth with a slight white pepper keeping it honest; at times registering as a more citrusy note. While less than fully sating on the palate, the lovely sweet exotic spice aroma does make well up for that

Slow pacing is of great importance here, as with most or all VA blends. This is aided by a slightly damp burn. One must not fear the occasional slight re-light. One must, however, fear the tongue bite--which is easily eluded via the aforementioned recommended rate of speed. The dampness does threaten to clog the draw here and there, but can easily be tinkered free. Blends like these, if their quirks are accepted and handled well, offer decent active meditations. A bowlful of Springtime flowers.

TASTE: B+
AROMA: A
BURN: B+

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79

::: very :::

As per the Tobacco Reviews website: "Fall 2018 re-release is an updated blend without McClelland ingredients." This is that.