Friday, December 31, 2021

Happy New Year 2022

lo-fi & lovely

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dearest Gentlepersons,

Another shared trip around the sun, huzzah! A rather trying one for certain, but if you are reading this, thank you and congratulations on being up to the task that was 2021. It wasn't easy here, truth be told. Remember Kaplowitz Media. Coffee? Kaplowitz Media. Wine? Books? Those cool blogs? Me neither. But if I did, I'd recall them as failed attempts at line extensions (in the parlance of the cigar industry). I could blame the times as the culprit. Maybe the spreading of myself too thin. Instead, I'll pat myself on the back for deciding to grow via shrinking-consolidation back to here, the core line (although to be clear, I never did leave).

It wasn't all subtraction in 2021, however. Pipe tobacco reviews and views came aboard fully-so and are quite lovely, I must say. Also Sherlockian content. I feel Sherlock Holmes blends well and will continue to do so in 2022. Quite honestly, it's the biggest kick I get currently. Many of you might well be surprised where it will often take us. A hint--it can take us anywhere. I can all but promise there will be no more additions or subtractions of topics in the coming year. 2022 will be about settling in. As to more looking forward at Kaplowitz Media., I can share this upon what I already have: expect more written words; less talking. KM. is M-E and I prefer being a lone wolf, hip cat, writer monkey. "Fuck off."

For the non-readers, my "1st & 15th" podcast with Phil Kurut of Comedy Cigars Music will continue; as will the Instagram program "Live from the Throne Room" with Lee Marsh of Stolen Throne Cigars. All other a/v stuff will cease for the time being. Writings will continue to be delivered as they are now and, as noted, grow from there. I completed a book this year, a biography of Phil Zanghi of Debonaire Cigars. That should be available to be read shortly. Currently, I am (as I hope you are aware) writing another book with an eye on hopefully publishing the thing in 2022. The Unnamed Cigar Dictionary (UCD) has been a beast to wrangle but comes along well. 

I guess that's about that and so, get the fork ready for sticking into both this post and the year that was. I'm pleased as punch my Kaplowitz Media. will live to see 2022 and beyond. It's been a real trip. To paraphrase a well-worn and tired Hunter S. Thompson quote, I bought the ticket and I took the ride. I do (so as you all know) plan on being the last off the bus, Gus. "Wally: [exiting bus last if I recall correctly] I’m sorry. The guys made kind of a mess in your bathroom. Bus Driver: What bathroom?" - The Simpsons, "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday" (Season 10, Episode 12)

Warmly,

Kap

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Thursday, December 30, 2021

GL Pease Pipe Tobacco Charing Cross (Classic Collection) in Review

lo-fi & lovely

GL Pease Pipe Tobacco Charing Cross (Classic Collection) in Review

CATEGORY: Balkan blend
BLEND: Latakia, Oriental/Turkish, Virginia
FLAVORING: no

BLENDER: GL Pease
MANUFACTURER: Cornell & Diehl
CUT: Ribbon

PIPE: Old German Clay no. 3
INTENSITY: Medium-full/Full

NOTES:
Figs | Dark chocolate | Black licorice

Stout. Portly. Muscular even, but presenting as such in the particular unbalanced manner of "Palumboism." The distended gut of a bodybuilder. Latakia to its creosote zenith. Inky, tarry, and friggin' delicious. Unless you don't like that--in which case steer clear of this. Oriental leaf adds a touch of spice; Virginia a hint of sweetness. Each only after the smoke clears. An issue is that the only focus and/or chicory structure is in the Latakia. The rest somewhat stir-together into a pleasing enough supportive melange. Black licorice.

There are finer "Latakia bomb" offerings to be had, but there is some swarthy if not swashbuckling character within this one. Seedy. Dark chocolate, figs, dates, a bit of a mash bill. Smoky almost like a cigarette, patent leather gives a stripper's stilettos vibe. Molasses. Spices are nice if you're patient and perceive... they mix with aforementioned VAs to create a sweet and sour sauce, reduced then sat out in a cast iron pan. Some heavy floral notes are well-under and back behind. Tropical and somewhat drying on their foliage. 

The aroma will be an olfactory beacon for lat-lovers alone. Anyone else will find it a bit pungently overwhelming. The mechanics are a half-tick lacking here, a too cool burn and slight smoke to smoke-hole. Kinda forces itself to be sipped and nurtured along--a thing out-of-keeping with its seemingly dastardly intentions. Leaves a good dose of dottle in the heel of the bowl. That said, it packs well and seems by feel to be ready to smoke. It does clump a good deal upon lighting into a dark mass akin to its tick limited profile. 

TASTE: A-
AROMA: B+
BURN: B

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Where to Begin Reading Sherlock Holmes (& other elementary musings)

lo-fi & lovely

Where to Begin Reading Sherlock Holmes (& other elementary musings)

This little bit of nothing stems from an even smaller bit of nothing that I was privy to (& weighed in on) over at Reddit. The question was simple enough: where should one begin reading Sherlock Holmes canon? I'd say 5th grade but that's equally if not more of when. Nevertheless, if you have not yet begun or are perchance beginning again--where to (re)start? How about this as a course of action: I'll posit three jumping-off options and then tell you it's all bullshit and that you should just get in there anywhere. You've already wasted so much time. I mean it's not quite like hopping a rolling train with this stuff; none has been added since 1927*. You can leisurely lollygag from stalled car to stalled car and back again. 

Or...

::: THE VERY BEGINNING :::

That would be A Study in Scarlet [STUD] published in 1887, this is the first appearance of the original dynamic duo of Holmes and Watson. Seems like a no-brainer, no? Well, only kinda. You see there is publication chronology & 'in-universe' chronology. For more info on the latter, I'd direct you to William Stuart Baring-Gould and his brilliant bit of Sherlockian scholarship there. As to the former--again, sheer real-world publication dates--STUD is the start. Although it should come with a heads up regarding its 'American Section.' You'll know what I mean when you get there, and a thing like that only ever occurs again in The Valley of Fear [VALL] on the opposite side of in-between the bookends. 

::: WHERE I STARTED :::

I was started, I did not start, per se. I was probably ten or 11 years old when my dad brought me home a copy of The Hound of the Baskervilles [HOUN] a cheap maybe used paperback edition thereof. I, like almost everyone else, loved the hell out of the book. It's great! It's got it all! Except for it doesn't have all that much Holmes. Two bits about HOUN: 1. it reads like a pre-existent gothic spookfest into which Holmes was plugged. 2. It was Arthur Conan Doyle begrudgingly bringing his consulting detective creation back from the dead in a way. You see, ACD had... hold on, I already wrote this out elsewhere...

"The time between when Arthur Conan Doyle decided to kill off his Holmes creation in FINA and then finally succumbing to popular pressure and bringing the consulting detective back to life in EMPT. (That's kind of how it went, w/ The Hound of the Baskervilles thrown in there, outside of the timeline.) ... He even tried his 1891-1894 Great Hiatus from Sherlockian tales in an effort to separate from his most iconic character; alas to no avail." Me, Martial Arts in Sherlock Holmes Canon & Premium Tobacco Pairings Vol. 1 Baritsu. Back to here, enjoy the hell outta HOUN but take it almost as separate from canon although it is canon. It's simply not a fantastic representation of what's to come.

::: WHERE I WOULD START :::

I feel like I could-should have just begun and ended here but really and truly--any of these and other points are serviceable springboards into where it's always 1895. I'd recommend starting with The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, cover-to-cover, thru all 12 adventures. I understand that A Scandal in Bohemia is a tricky cherry-taking but only because it shows much of what Holmes is about--even though many wrongly believe he was bested within its confines. That and so much is made of Irene Adler, who appears only that once in all canon. Here's some more of me quoting myself...

"& perhaps this is what A Scandal in Bohemia is about. Bringing back Doc. Plus, a neat look into the mind of Holmes, and more so his moral/ethical compass. The grey area where he allows his grey matter both its due and do. So, this one isn't about Holmes being bested by the woman, as he was not. He has, again, a happy client and no criminal has retained nor gained their freedom. Plus, nothing took him unawares. Later in the canon, Holmes reminisces about being bested only four times, thrice by men and once by a woman. 

"Not the woman as we have been told he refers to her as. Also, we hear of this in The Five Orange Pips, which chronologically occurs a year prior to SCAN. Furthermore, that's hardly the mention you'd expect from a fellow who could have earned a chunk of a kingdom and settled instead on a cabinet photo of his true and perhaps favorite unofficial client. He keeps the picture (a replacement for his original goal) as a reminder. I'd say as a reminder to choose clients well." - Me, On "A Scandal in Bohemia" from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

In closing, both finally and thankfully, it's all bullshit and that you should just get in there anywhere. I am nothing if not a man of my word.

*I refer here to the canonical writings of ACD, not The House of Silk (2011) by Anthony Horowitz which is akin to the Schrodinger's Cat of this conversation; seeing as it was a new novel authorized by the Conan Doyle Estate. 

@KaplowitzMedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Double Feature: A Pair of Recent Audio/Video Offerings

lo-fi & lovely

Double Feature: A Pair of Recent Audio/Video Offerings 

"Hats & Bear Spray"
1st & 15th episode from 12.04.21

I've fallen behind in sharing these but I'm all caught up now. Make sure to subscribe to 1st & 15th on the preferred podcatcher of your choice. As to this episode, Phil Kurut says: "[we] discuss new hats, bear spray, and how you know when you've gone from houses to mansions in this episode of 1st & 15th. Should Phil be wearing a cowboy hat?" (He likes to write in the 3rd person.)

::: very :::

Live w/ Phil Zanghi a Christmas Eve from the Debonaire Athenaeum Special (Recorded live 12.24.21)

Join Phil Zanghi and me (on-demand) as we discuss the famous quote: “My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don’t know.” That from The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle, the most Christmastime of all Holmes cases. This Debonaire Athenaeum boasts one heck of a decent imaginary selection! 

To watch, please visit the IGTV tab at the Kaplowitz Media. Instagram thingy. thx

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Partagas Cigars Decadas Limited Reserve 2021 in Review

lo-fi & lovely

Partagas Cigars Decadas Limited Reserve 2021 in Review

WRAPPER: Brazilian Cameroon
BINDER: Connecticut Havano
FILLER: Dominican, Nicaraguan

FORMAT: Toro (652)
ORIGIN: General Cigar Dominicana
INTENSITY: Medium/Medium-full

NOTES:
Suede | Citrus | Earth

Fusty & dusty. Leathery & spicy. Calmly sneaky sweet. Gently-prickly. I'm just typing out what comes to mind. Liquid notes on a dry stage. Let's call it stiff suede, candied lemon on a sandy beach. Herbes de Provence, ooh-la-la and no shortage of accompanying je ne sais quoi... stored in dusty wooden spice rack. Nicely toasted cereal grains. Trailing anise off a black peppercorn front, subtly. A bit of fruitiness on the far-out, ma-a-a-nnn. 

Exceptionally balanced and brimming with finely-drawn complexities. Nifty nuances dig into a piled high airy earthiness. More fruits entrench come mid-point. Paler stuff with heavy syrups. Peach fuzz cheeks and tongue. A nice transition there, evolving from the end of 1/3 through till the mid-point, which also includes a bit of chai tea and marzipan. The olfactory senses hum on this offering. Sit in it. A knock? Could use greater structuring of notes.

Burns on a slowly-paced even enough line. Smokes exceptionally coolly. Draws a bit unevenly and toward stiff. Barrel softens some half-tick but exhibits no soft-spots per se. Moderate and then plus (come the half) smoke out-put. Super-kindly room-note. As to aroma and such, if one hadn't smoked a cigar in, say a decade, this smell would be quite classically familiar to their nose. Fusty in the second-half on-out with an added delicate maltiness. 

TASTE: A-
DRAW: B+
BURN: A-
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Monday, December 27, 2021

A Corn Cob Pipe is a Lot Like Cheap Underwear (& other layered musings)

lo-fi & lovely

A Corn Cob Pipe is a Lot Like Cheap Underwear (& other layered musings)

When you really think of it, 'wear.' in regards to your lower outerwear is typically long. See: pants. I feel like I've gone off on the wrong foot, maybe. I do know shorts are a popular alternative although I hold fast to the notion that they shouldn't be worn by anyone over the age of 11. Let me re-address. If your outerwear is long, why is your underwear short? Mine ain't. From late fall to early spring anyway, I'm a long johns passionado. Although I must admit even though I never wear shorts, I do wear briefs in the summer months. I'll probably edit this all out prior to publishing. 

[and begin here] I did and still do have a point and here it is: thermal underwear. I get mine at Walmart. They're cheap and dependable and sometimes, just sometimes--only cheap. But if you drop a twenty on two pairs, one of them is almost bound to outlive the pitfall of the immediate crotch seam blowout. Clearly stated, I'd say 30% (scientifically) of all Walmart long johns split right up the crack, first wearing. That means 70% do not. I'd sign up for those odds eight days a week. Not only is that a numerical no-brainer--but the intangible part of the equation is that those that don't die on arrival, go on to be long-wearing and super comfortable. 

Everything I just said, with a bit of wiggle-room on the price and bullshit percentages, can be said for a corn cob pipe via a reputable manufacturer. They (if they don't blow-out tits-up pronto) are care-free, indestructible, and comfy af. No real breaking-in period, no pipe rotation concerns, no ghosting whatsoever. To be clear, I'm speaking only to the pipes for the last little bit. Plus, you taste the tobacco, not the briar. Did I mention I'm mostly bitching about briar? Here's another analogy... I don't review pipe tobacco from a briar because I also do not store my cigars up for review in a cedar humidor. See? There are two types of pipers, those about the pipe and those about the tobacco. I'm faulting neither but casting my lot with one.

Please refrain from sewing up your faulty long johns as well as patching up your dud cobs. I'm as cheap as the next Hebrew-American of Ruska Roma lineage but c'mon, man!

I smoke clay pipes. They have all the benefits of cobs but also fit my personal aesthetic. This time of year (winter) I smoke more pipes than your mom lol, and definitely more pipes than I do cigars. Because it's cold out and a clay pipe is a delightful 25 minutes-or-so as opposed to a hypothermia-filled hour-long cigar. So this is Christmas, and what have you done? Nothing good if you haven't grabbed yourself some cheap long underwear and a corn cob (or clay) pipe. If I can or could recommend one thing and one thing only, I'd say to you maybe eat a salad or three during the holidays. If I might offer up a second thought, maybe the stuff you just read here. 

To clarify, a clay pipe is more likely than a cob to be a good smoker, although it will be hot and come with a learning curve--one that will ultimately make you a better smoker. However, the second you accidentally drop a clay pipe it explodes into smithereens. Not a decent lunting option then, but if golf is a good walk spoiled (a sentiment falsely attributed to Mark Twain) walks have always ruined any premium tobacco I've ever tried to enjoy during which. Bearing in mind I'm quite the walker and a fan of the historic sport of Pedestrianism, a thing you should look into but I have already burned my lone recommendation a couple of times over. Over.

@kaplowitmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Excerpt VIII from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

lo-fi & lovely

Excerpt VIII from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary (UCD) Project

::: EXCERPT :::

Vitola The size and shape of a cigar as designated by the factory in which it’s rolled. Robusto is a vitola, for instance. As is Toro, etc.

Some brands get various shades of squirrelly with their vitola naming game. There is a lot of wiggle room here, and minimal universality.

Wrapper or Capa in Spanish is the outer-most leaf of a cigar. It is placed there atop a Bunch (which includes the Binder). This is the most expensive and carefully cultivated leaf–as it must be blemish-free and also totes de-lish. Some manufacturers tend to overstate its importance within a blend–even though it is quite important. But c’mon, no way does it account for 130 percent of your Flavor and/or Taste experience! Still, this super-thin oft delicate leaf does generally account for maybe 51% of that. I dunno. Our mileage may vary. What does not vary is from the out, in is… Wrapper, Binder, Filler

The Premium Cigar industry is a funny thing. An idea is arrived at and maybe it’s even correct. Say, for this instance, this idea posits a wrapper makes up about 60% of what you taste in a cigar. OK. Then suddenly it’s 70 from a more hyperbolic fellow. I’ve even heard 90 fam! Fam! (130 was an exaggeration for now.) An excitable escalation of alpha facts, I call it. See also: EPIC (just kidding, that’s not an entry). To be fair, this hypothetical percentage would be affected by Vitola.

Wrapper/Binder/filler is for sure slated to be one of the illustrations here. Remember, I said illustrations will be in the style of old-timey cookbooks. Black and white line drawings. Hopefully. Big project. Lots of spinning wheels. NO TIMEFRAME FOR COMPLETION.

::: BONUS MATERIAL :::

Toro Traditionally, a Parejo Vitola that measures one inch longer than a Robusto, so 6x50. Much more common these days in a 6x52 expression.

Sliding parejo into this definition felt odd-awkward. I'll think on it.

Parejo A cigar with straight edges (Lonsdale, Robusto, Toro). A cigar with not-straight edges (Perfecto, Belicoso, Diadema) is called a Figurado.

Binder The leaf directly underneath the outer-most leaf–that being the Wrapper. Binder leaf holds the Filler of a cigar in place under and of itself and contributes much more structurally and in combustion than in Taste or Flavor. The binder and filler once together in an assembly are referred to as the bunch. Many binders were grown with an aim toward being wrappers but cosmetic flaws precluded that usage.

::: FONT GUIDE :::

Excerpt from the work-in-progress book (UCD).
My thoughts on the work-in-progress book (UCD).
Italics within definitions are recommendations to see that entry.

::: WHAT DID I JUST READ? :::

As you Gentlepersons hopefully know or are at the ::: very ::: least now FINALLY aware of under that rock of yours, I am constructing a Cigar Dictionary. A book. It is yet to have been named. Its working title is "Unnamed Cigar Dictionary" (UCD). I will change that "As soon as possible" (ASAP). Nevertheless, the idea of the whole thing, the game plan, is that I will blog the process of creating & assembling the UCD on a non-scheduled basis.

Included in these blog posts will be my italicized thoughts regarding said creating & assembling process--and as we get closer to it being a book proper, the process of that, as well. THESE WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FINISHED BOOK. Please note that not everything, including the whole or part of definitions, will appear in the finished book.

To read other excerpts, search Unnamed Cigar Dictionary or UCD, in the Search Kaplowitz Media. field to the right of your screen.

I need you Gentlepersons to get excited about this and not be able to wait to purchase it--whenever it finally is completed and available for said purchasing. NO TIMEFRAME.

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Friday, December 24, 2021

Kaplowitz Media. Cigars of the Month (December 2021)

lo-fi & lovely

Kaplowitz Media. 
Cigars of the Month (December 2021)

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust
Sin Compromiso Paladin de Saka
Final Grade: A

StillWell Star Navy No. 1056
by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust
Final Grade: A-

StillWell Star Bayou No. 32
by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust
Final Grade: A-

StillWell Star English No. 27
by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust
Final Grade: A-

If you'd like to read the full reviews, simply employ the search field to the right of your screen. thx Also please note this month's Cigars of the Month is posted on the 24th instead of its usual 25th due to I hope you all have a Merry Christmas (not to mention it's a weekend and NO WEEKEND POSTS).

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Thursday, December 23, 2021

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars Sin Compromiso Intrepido in Review

lo-fi & lovely

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars Sin Compromiso Intrepido in Review

WRAPPER: San Andres Negro
BINDER: Ecuadorian Habano
FILLER: Nicaraguan

FORMAT: Intrepido (5.63x46) Box Press Pig-tail
ORIGIN: Joya de Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Medium-full

NOTES:
Wood array | Dried peppers | Leather

Smoky charred notes. Hard notes. Dry notes. Hickory, chicory, toasted almond slices, Italian roasted coffee beans. Not a dry profile, though. A stiff leather note sweats out oils and an umami sauce akin to Worcestershire flits about. Back to dry--red seasonings, black pepper, a tick cayenne &/or red pepper flake (they take turns). Oak, a scorched barrel, structures in steadfast fashion. A lock-step march of a delivery on heavily tamped composted earth. Anise goes in and out like Mama's squeezebox (unintended erotica). Balance is a little tilted by smoky-char-scorch. 

There are small easy complexities of "oh." These are typically little deviations in the march. A quick turn of the head to the side, say. Just to catch an interesting glimpse. Nuances are lacking on account of the aforementioned heavy tamping not allowing for entrenching. Picture skipping stones across a dried-out lake. Still, a pleasing and sating profile that sits comfortably hearty in your breadbasket. Toasted grains. Barley and buckwheat, not lighter cereal stuffs. Something like holding a slab of beef jerky in your mouth for a few minutes sidles in at the second-half. Amaretto.

As to construction, combustion, and the like: quite aerated ash dumps fairly frequently and is of a swarthy complexion. The burn-line wobbles only slightly but on a somewhat wide mascara. Draws hesitantly at times. Thems the dings. All else is rolled and performs well. A moderate-only smoke out-put seems against the grain of the DT&T portfolio but the aroma and room-note are each their own selling points. Complex bittersweet savory meanderings linger long with the addition of tropical floral notes that eventually flow lightly onto the palate.

TASTE: A-
DRAW: B+
BURN: B
BUILD: B+

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

1st & 15th Podcast "Christmas Unicorns"

lo-fi & lovely

1st & 15th Podcast "Christmas Unicorns" 

"Kap and Phil discuss various last name pronunciations, unicorns taking over Christmas, and the possibility of starting a recipe podcast. Also, is there a difference between myth and magic? And, more importantly, does it really matter?" - Phil. 

1st & 15th is available on Anchor, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, & Stitcher. (& probably more.)

"Look for it whoever fine quality podcasts are ignored." - me. New episodes drop on the 1st & 15th of each month, as you might have gathered. Please subscribe, rate, review, etc. thx  Do also check out Phil's Comedy | Cigars | Music site for all those things. 

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter & Instagram

::: very :::

Live from the Throne Room Episode Twelve of the Stolen Throne Cigars Program "Review & Preview"

lo-fi & lovely

Live from the Throne Room
Kaplowitz Media. Presents
The Stolen Thrown Cigars Program
Episode Twelve "Review & Preview"

Merry Holidays and Happy New Year from the Stolen Throne crew & Kaplowitz Media. Myself & Lee Marsh give a day-by-day recap of the year that was 2021 and also offer-up a look ahead to 2022. To view this spectacle on-demand, visit Kaplowitz Media on Instagram and tap on the IGTV tab once there. You'll be mainly glad you did.

@kaplowitzmedia 
Twitter | Instagram 

::: very :::

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars Mi Querida Triqui Traca in Review

lo-fi & lovely

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars 
Mi Querida Triqui Traca in Review

WRAPPER: Connecticut Broadleaf
BINDER: Nicaraguan
FILLER: Nicaraguan, Dominican

FORMAT: No. 448 (448)
ORIGIN: Joya de Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Medium-full

NOTES:
Cedar | Red spices | Coffee beans

A short review for a short cigar. One that begins where my typical reviews end--with performance. This experience was either hindered or hampered, whichever is more correct, by a ::: very ::: tight draw. Not in a manner that indicated poor knotted-up bunching, but in a way that it was just too thick and damp to suck through at times. It did free up some with the aid of a toothpick poking--but re-closed up soon-after. That stated, I did toke greedily on the thing in wanting to chase down some yummy brilliances. Lots of cedar plays and twirls.

Much as in its Robusto (552) expression, there is a "refined rustic quality" of complexity and nuance, all deeply entrenched in rich savory earthiness. Paprika, cumin, cayenne keep it kicky-honest. Cedar (as opposed to the other's hickory) structures well. Big sarsaparilla here, black cherries. Molasses balances the sweetness so that the dark-roasted coffee beans don't run amok. Really just delicious--but too, infuriating because I simply wanted more of it. Perhaps due to the draw, notes were thinner here than in the aforementioned Robusto.

TASTE: A-
DRAW: B-
BURN: B+
BUILD: B

FINAL GRADE: B
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Monday, December 20, 2021

On Jay Finley Christ & Sherlock Holmes Abbreviations

lo-fi and lovely

On Jay Finley Christ & Sherlock Holmes Abbreviations

Jay Finley Christ (1884-1963) gained membership into The Baker Street Irregulars via an invite from BMOC Vincent Starrett* which seems like a pretty big deal now, anyway. This, after Starrett's works whet Christ's Sherlockiana appetite. The two began a correspondence shortly after whetting, that ultimately led to not simply his investiture, but ultimately to Jay Finley Christ being regarded as the most scholarly of Starrett's rather scholarly brood. He was also a member of a few other scion societies including one which he began himself, The Illustrious Clients of Indianapolis.  

It seems the majority of his Sherlockian scholarship flowed from him near-to and upon his retirement from the University of Chicago, where he was a professor of law from 1920 to 1950 and also gave occasional Sherlockian lectures. In addition, he published 127 Sherlockian articles in the Chicago Tribune from 1945 to 1951, 68 of which were edited and collected into five booklets between 1947 and 1963. Among many other contributions he made (this brief list is far from complete) he also penned the poem “The Old Tin Box” (1946) which is a personal favorite of mine.

Later, in his "An Irregular Chronology of Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street" (1947), it is arrived-at by he that The Great Hiatus ran a mere 11 months**, making it--to my figuring--The Moderate Hiatus. Nevertheless, this does make sense of some things, a biggie being how 221b was up-kept by Mycroft and essentially unchanged in Holmes's absence. (The more accepted timespan is William Stuart Baring-Gould's three years.**) Also in that same year, was released "An Irregular Guide to Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street," where he unveiled his abbreviations of story titles that are still in use today, thus standing as his most renowned contribution.

Below is the full guide to those abbreviations. Then afterward, more great stuff to read!

The Adventure of the Abbey Grange [ABBE]
The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet [BERY]
The Adventure of Black Peter [BLAC]
The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier [BLAN]
The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle [BLUE]
The Boscombe Valley Mystery [BOSC]
The Adventure of the Bruce Partington Plans [BRUC]
The Adventure of the Cardboard Box [CARD]
The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton [CHAS]
The Adventure of the Copper Beeches [COPP]
The Adventure of the Creeping Man [CREE]
The Adventure of the Crooked Man [CROO]
The Adventure of the Dancing Men [DANC]
The Adventure of the Devil's Foot [DEVI]
The Adventure of the Dying Detective [DYIN]
The Adventure of the Empty House [EMPT]
The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb [ENGR]
The Adventure of the Final Problem [FINA]
The Five Orange Pipps [FIVE]
The Adventure of the Gloria Scott [GLOR]
The Adventure of the Golden Pince-Nez [GOLD]
The Adventure of the Greek Interpreter [GREE]
The Hound of the Baskervilles [HOUN]
A Case of Identity [IDEN]
The Adventure of the Illustrious Client  [ILLU]
The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax [LADY]
His Last Bow [LAST]
The Adventure of the Lion's Mane [LION]
The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone [MAZA]
The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter [MISS]
The Adventure of the Musgrave Ritual [MUSG]
The Adventure of the Naval Treaty [NAVA]
The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor [NOBL]
The Adventure of the Norwood Builder [NORW]
The Adventure of the Priory School [PRIO]
The Adventure of the Red Circle [REDC]
The Red-Headed League [REDH]
The Adventure of the Reigate Squire [REIG]
The Adventure of the Resident Patient [RESI]
The Adventure of the Retired Colourman [RETI]
A Scandal in Bohemia [SCAN]
The Adventure of the Second Stain [SECO]
The Adventure of Shoscombe Old Place [SHOS]
The Sign of the Four [SIGN]
The Adventure of Silver Blaze [SILV]
The Adventure of the Six Napoleons [SIXN]
The Adventure of the Solitary Cyclist [SOLI]
The Adventure of the Speckled Band [SPEC]
The Adventure of the Stockbroker's Clerk  [STOC]
A Study in Scarlet [STUD]
The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire [SUSS}
The Problem of Thor Bridge [THOR]
The Adventure of the Three Gables [3GAB]
The Adventure of the Three Garridebs [3GAR]
The Adventure of the Three Students [3STU]
The Man with the Twisted Lip [TWIS]
The Valley of Fear [VALL]
The Adventure of the Veiled Lodger [VEIL]
The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge [WIST]
The Adventure of the Yellow Face [YELL]

There you go. All 56 Sherlock Holmes short stories, four novels, and their abbreviations. Some non-canonical entries also have their own abbreviations, but we don't get into that here. I sometimes will give my own (for what it's worth) seal of approval on a bit of pastiche in the form bestowing upon it an abbreviation; such as in the case of the new The Return of the Pharoah [PHAR] by Nicholas Meyer. But even fewer people care about that than what I grade a cigar. 

To be clear, I included the full list and some well-deserved credit via woefully yet aptly abbreviated bio so that my new-to-Holmes readership has the handy-dandy reference at-hand, or at the least, vague remembrances of it. I should say I feel in reality that more-so than to facilitate Sherlockian Scholarship, although they are useful once acclimated to, these abbreviations act as some form of Sherlockian industry-insider, smart mark jargon. This plays no different in that manner than does calling Nicaragua [NICA] in the cigar industry, say. 

Reference material:
I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere
The Arthur Conan Doyle Encyclopedia

*"Vincent Starrett (October 26, 1886 - January 5, 1974) was born over his grandfather's Toronto bookshop and raised in Chicago. In the Windy City, he became a writer, newspaperman, and bibliophile. His other Sherlockian contributions include perhaps his more famous "The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes" (1933) Starrett was also one of the founding members of The Hounds of the Baskerville (sic), a Chicagoan scion society of The Baker Street Irregulars.

As to this Unique Hamlet, just a couple more trifles of interest. Satiric becomes ironic, as its first edition is now quite rare and thus quite 'pricey,' we'll say. The book was (as noted) privately printed during the Christmas season of 1920 and it would seem, to merely be gifted to those scant few interested in Holmesian pastiche before there even was such a thing or even such (or enough) people." - Me, from The Adventure of the Unique Hamlet by Vincent Starrett | A Sherlock Holmes Pastiche Booklet Review, elsewhere in the rabbit-hole of a blog.

NOTE: in the brief Starrett bio above, I was embarrassingly remiss in not including his classic poem 221b. 

** 12/22/2021 "Several times during the last three years I have taken up my pen to write to you." Says Holmes to Watson in The Adventure of the Empty House. I will make a note to investigate this further.

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

for Frank Seltzer

::: very :::

Friday, December 17, 2021

On "The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb" from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

lo-fi & lovely

On "The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb" [ENGR] from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

::: PUBLICATION HISTORY :::

The Strand Magazine (UK) March 1892
The Strand (US) April 1892
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (Coll.) October 1892

::: NOTES & GRADING :::

This guy has lost a lot of blood. Makes sense, since his thumb was torn off by a cleaver. I SAID IT MAKES SENSE. Welcome to the only documented case in which Watson introduces a client to Holmes. The undocumented and just in-passing mentioned tale is 'Colonel Warburton’s Madness.' Nevertheless, ENGR is a bit of a nod to Poe's The Pit and the Pendulum. This is neat because Holmes himself is a bit of a nod to Poe's C. Auguste Dupin. A lot of blood... OK, so this is an adventure that raises some questions regarding the suspension of disbelief. If you allow it to do that. It's also a thrilling if not suspenseful, mood-evoking read. But...

“Good heavens!” I cried, “this is a terrible injury. It must have bled considerably.” The loss of so much blood over so long a time handled so strangely calmly-well. Plus, it seems he cleaned himself up between his 'accident' and Watson's treatment. Thoughtful. Come to think of it, shouldn't there have been stitches? Don't forgers usually cast coins? How did the baddies discreetly set up such a massive operation right by a station? A hydraulic press big as a room to stamp fake coins?... and reinforced with a wood hull? I guess what else is there but wood? (That's what she said.) Actually, "get away from here before it is too late!" is what she said, by whom I mean Elise, the kind heart of the counterfeiting turned murderous brigade. 

“An accident, I presume?” 
“By no means.” 
“What! a murderous attack?” 
“Very murderous indeed.” 
“You horrify me.”

I'm struck by this conversation between Watson and the newly mono-thumbed “Mr. Victor Hatherley, hydraulic engineer, 16A, Victoria Street (3rd floor)” as the good doctor addresses the ::: very ::: bad wound. Is he really horrified or is Doyle ham-fistedly setting the absolutely horrific scenario to follow? A literary version of William Castle placing buzzers under movie seats for The Tingler viewings? Preparation is key. Or, perhaps Watson is braver alongside Holmes... I'd be, the guy's pretty darn capable. Mostly here, I'd imagine, it's stage-setting.

But good God, man--to be horrified by a relayed story while free of danger seems much. "You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive," after all. Especially with so much therapeutic brandy on-hand with which to soothe as well as invigorate. Brandy in Watson's consulting-room, then more brandy over breakfast with Holmes. Ah, melodrama. Ah, the mandated opulence of Gothic horror. I feel as though I might have the vapours just thinking of it. Do those historic timelines scan?

There are shades here of The Red-Headed League, where Mr. Jabez Wilson gets some wallet over-fattening funding dropped on him for (apparently) simply handwriting out the Encyclopedia. Hatherley has been in business for two years, with one job to show for it. Much more dire straits Money for Nothing than Wilson, who was much more greedy all around. Still, a glimpse at the idea of the potential evils of unfair pay. Or wages as the root of all evil, not simply money. Or, bribery works. 

Hard times, daddy. Particularly for an orphan bachelor who has no one to fall back on--or go looking for his cartoonishly pancake-flattened corpse. Regardless of all that, the emaciated German, Colonel Lysander Stark has made an unrefusable offer: fifty guineas for a night's work but really more like an hour. Just don't tell a soul and hey, show up around midnight. The young man even thinks of backing out but hey, fifty guineas is fifty guineas. Besides, what can possibly go wrong? You see the seats tingled during certain scenes to add to the horror, and never mind...

Everything goes wrong but most importantly is all that stuff that I already mentioned not lining up. Plot holes impede travel much as do potholes. And speaking of travel, I'm unclear... transporting out loads of Fuller's Earth bricks on a somewhat regular schedule is somehow the inconspicuous route which to take? Was there even any Fuller's Earth? I feel like maybe there wasn't and also that I'm a little embarrassingly dull in so slowly coming to the killing machine realization. I doubt there were even coins at the point of the story we start at. It was already out of control, murderously spinning in a frenzied, diabolical manner. The absolute horror.

The horror of horrors in these pages is the thought process of how best to meet one's own fresh-squeezed death... then again... how long does this thing... Take. To. Drop? It seemed a lengthy spine-snapping harrowing inner-monologue. And why do the murderers commit murder, speaking of that? No Fuller's Earth probably, a machine too heavy for its purported intended purpose of stamping coins. I suppose one should add that to the horror of horrors--a killing machine made scarier still by lack of reason why. It is what it is.

Maybe tho, it should have been emphasized harder--how Ferguson and Elise saw their whatever operation taken over by the murderous madman Stark. Perhaps from within, perhaps from without; he rose to control the other two. There is tension in their dialog and proof of their not being on the same page. “‘Fritz! Fritz!’ she cried in English, ‘remember your promise after the last time. You said it should not be again." AGAIN? Mr. Doyle, you horrify me. Please bring me to my fainting couch. There is a rich, unwritten back-story at play within this group; you can just feel it. I'd like to read it.

I guess we're still on the dialog. Weirdly, I feel the go-between of Holmes and Watson isn't so sharp. Or at least not so memorable.  Appropos of not that entirely, my favorite deducing bit of the thing involves conversation and Holmes figuring the gang's location as neither up north, down south, nor out neither west or east but instead horrifyingly near.

“One horse?” interjected Holmes. 
“Yes, only one.” 
“Did you observe the colour?” 
“Yes, I saw it by the side-lights when I was stepping into the carriage. It was a chestnut.” 
“Tired-looking or fresh?” 
“Oh, fresh and glossy.”

Yes, I am struck again by the crisp, natural yet cinematic dialogue. Its nonchalant depths. A camera filled with B&W film pans between close-ups of riveted faces. Bum bum bum! I suppose being struck makes it quite striking, no? The setting talks almost as much as the characters and it tells a scary tale. So that's cool. Is it sacrilege to say that this all feels a bit like a Scooby-Doo mystery? I think it's the characters themselves--I just deducted half-a-point. Zoinks. They're all sorta quite... expected. One-dimensional. Flat as a coin.

I'm all over the place here and trying to rein it in but THERE IS NO ANCHOR. Untethered and lost. I feel like I'm typing a lot of question marks out onto my screen? The plot ain't great, again too many holes. Its highlight is it gets you to turn pages. It's suspenseful then, in and of that. I mean but... yeah. The problem is sneaky big; bigger than a mere thumb. That being the threat of a large amount of funny money messing up the economy. I suppose. I don't feel like my gaze is shifted there near enough. If it were, in all honesty, it probably wouldn't care. Not every big problem is mine--nor is every monkey from my circus. 

Oh and here we are at the solution. The operation goes up in flames due to a squished lamp's oil, the gang makes off with loads of what we should maybe think are knock-off coins but might also be family pictures and long johns, and Holmes has a chuckle over his client's bounteous booty--a good yarn to spin. Definitely not the agreed-upon price. Although a good story probably did go further back then before the availability of all of these streaming services. Ultimately though, I can make a case that Holmes is more cleanly-beaten here than in SCAN but would make no friends in that process and carry on too long here. Plus, he was probably just cued in too dreadfully late.

Nevertheless the heinous Colonel Lysander Stark runs free! This being alive thing makes him much more horrid indeed than the dead guys in FIVE. Thankfully, he seems to need a lot of space, time, and clumsy accouterments in order to wreak his particular brand of mad scientist mayhem. A silent movie damsel in distress tied to railroad tracks. Seems they were almost always rescued in time--but I've minimal experience to pull from there. He twirls his swarthy handlebar mustache and pulls closed his black silk cape.

Worthy of note to my particular mores, we get a glimpse here of Holmes's smoking habits. "... and smoking his before-breakfast pipe, which was composed of all the plugs and dottles left from his smokes of the day before, all carefully dried and collected on the corner of the mantelpiece." I do this, in some varying fashions. I cannot recommend it. Perhaps you might think I cannot recommend this tale either. You'd be horrifically wrong, the pros might not outweigh the cons--but they still are well worth the reading and not so much to be found so well-displayed in other adventures.

CHARACTERS: 1/2 
SETTING: 1/2 
PLOT: .5/2 
PROBLEM: 1/2 
SOLUTION: .5/2 

FINAL GRADE: 4.5/10

I'd like to take a moment to remind you kind Gentlepersons that I write these thoughts under the assumption of you having read these adventures. They are readily available everywhere, including for free at Project Gutenberg as well as Wikisource, where you can listen to it read, as well.

Also, please bear in mind that this post is part of a series in which I'm working through every case in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. For other entries in this series, use the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen and plug in either particular adventures contained within that collection, or The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Thursday, December 16, 2021

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars Sin Compromiso Paladin de Saka in Review

lo-fi & lovely

Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigars 
Sin Compromiso Paladin de Saka in Review

WRAPPER: Mexican San Andres Negro
BINDER: Ecuadorian Habano
FILLER: Nicaraguan, Pennsylvanian

FORMAT: Churchill (750) box-pressed
ORIGIN: Joya de Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Medium-full

NOTES:
S'mores | Spice | Black walnut

This blend reminds me of me, at a used bookstore. I'm there to look for Sherlock Holmes but sure, I can be distracted. Apparently, I'm here for the touch of PA but I can be distracted. Meaning I get a sharply delivered dark chocolate but what's that you got there? Habano sweet spices? Also deeply earthen and peppered Nicaraguan. The SA lends its characteristic S'mores and wine. I think it's that PA that carries a tick of an edge. It'll put hair on your chest, this one. Anise, red pepper, a delineating oak, cedar, a bit of a cola vibe. Hint of black walnut--shell and all--maybe a part of the tree. Espresso pours into the mid-point.

Well-balanced and complex. Each darkly-so and well-orchestrated. Goodly nuanced particularly in the bittersweet realms via malted notes. Not harsh but definitely has them 'linebacker eyes.' The finish is pretty spectacular, a long-look at spiced earthiness that has a maturely-sweet back-end, then clean as a whistle end after a rising toasted creaminess.  That aforementioned oak structures like structuring is going out of style. Let's talk character. Let's talk about how the character is apparent in my final grade. Not just a cigar, nor just a celebratory one--but a destination offering. One day I'll get to The Mysterious Bookshop.

The performance here carries a slight pair of half-bugaboos. A tick hesitant draw in the 1/3 and a barely-wavy burn throughout. I have to nitpick, it's my J-O-B. Smoke out-put is B-I-G and settles into a fucking delightful leathery room-note which first appears in the aroma and lingers finally on the palate. It smells like a gentleman's wood-paneled study--books and all. Back on track here: ash grows in dense ladder-rungs to an appropriate length. Everything insofar as assemblage holds admirably-so. I'm thinking Holmes again and of the gaslight burning outside of the study on a crisp evening, and I'm warmed by a crackling fireplace.

TASTE: A-
DRAW: A-
BURN: B+
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: A
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

for Brooks (12/9/21)

::: very :::

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Excerpt VII from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

lo-fi & lovely

Excerpt VII from the Kaplowitz Media. 
Unnamed Cigar Dictionary (UCD) Project

::: EXCERPT :::

Spanish Cedar The wood of choice in the cigar world. From cigar boxes to humidors to… did I say boxes? Interestingly enough, Spanish Cedar is neither Spanish nor cedar. It’s in the Mahogony family of woods and actually hails from the Jersey Shore. Not sure about that last factoid.

This is one of those funny Did You Know? type things that become so popularly retold that of course you know. That said, I'd be remiss in not including it. Also, NEVER use any type of true cedar in cigar storage. Cedar trunks are for Pendleton blankets.

Trunk Press A sharply-pressed cigar; more severely-so than a Box Press. See: Molds.

OK so Box Press = ( ) and Trunk Press = [ ]. See? 

Underfilled A cigar without enough guts. These badly-bunched smokes tend to burn hot and quick and feel, well, under-filled to the touch. I particularly notice this phenomenon in Box Press and more-so in Trunk Press offerings, most likely so that they ply into shape easier and with less resistance.

::: BONUS MATERIAL :::

Molds Forms made of wood (now increasingly plastic) into which the Bunch is placed in order to cigar-shape it prior to applying its Wrapper. There is a process of rotating the cigars in these molds which you will be taught upon being hired at a factory.

Mold gets its own entry with the definition of "it's never plume/bloom." or something clever like that.

Box-Press Indicates a cigar of some flattened profile. Oval to slightly-squared-off in varying degrees. Traditional box-pressing gets this shape via cigars being tightly-packed into a box, closed with a simple flap-top. More exaggerated pressing up to Trunk Press is achieved with the use of wooden slats placed between cigars. Trunk pressing is what offers quite-sharp corners; box-pressing is more to much more gently-rounded. See also: Press.

Press A bit of cigar factory equipment that presses a cigar into shape in preparation for Molds. In smaller factories, presses are powered by hand crank, while in larger factories, pneumatics are employed. This is also used in making Trunk Press cigars–not to be confused with Box-press.

No _ is for ______ entry in this week's excerpt because I feel like what's here is enough. But it would have been F is for Flavor. That's already written and will super-likely make it into the book.

Also, not a lot of italicized side-thoughts this week because I've really just been cranking out entries and not thinking too far past or around them. We'll see what happens with next week's excerpt. I feel like the first step of just getting the entries complete is approaching its home stretch. That means more--well--something. I suppose step two would be assembling 26 of those _ is for ______ writings. Should be fun.

::: FONT GUIDE :::

Excerpt from the work-in-progress book (UCD).
My thoughts on the work-in-progress book (UCD).
Italics within definitions are recommendations to see that entry.

::: WHAT DID I JUST READ? :::

As you Gentlepersons hopefully know or are at the ::: very ::: least now FINALLY aware of under that rock of yours, I am constructing a Cigar Dictionary. A book. It is yet to have been named. Its working title is "Unnamed Cigar Dictionary" (UCD). I will change that "As soon as possible" (ASAP). Nevertheless, the idea of the whole thing, the game plan, is that I will blog the process of creating & assembling the UCD on a non-scheduled basis.

Included in these blog posts will be my italicized thoughts regarding said creating & assembling process--and as we get closer to it being a book proper, the process of that, as well. THESE WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FINISHED BOOK. Please note that not everything, including the whole or part of definitions, will appear in the finished book.

To read other excerpts, search Unnamed Cigar Dictionary or UCD, in the Search Kaplowitz Media. field to the right of your screen.

I need you Gentlepersons to get excited about this and not be able to wait to purchase it--whenever it finally is completed and available for said purchasing. NO TIMEFRAME.

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

La Vieja Habana Corojo by Drew Estate Cigars in Review

lo-fi & lovely

La Vieja Habana Corojo by Drew Estate Cigars in Review

WRAPPER: Corojo
BINDER: Nicaraguan
FILLER: Nicaraguan

FORMAT: 5.5x46 "Chateau Corona"
ORIGIN: La Gran Fabrica Drew Estate, Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Medium/Medium-full

NOTES:
Black coffee | Dark chocolate | Anise

A bit of mixed-filler smokeable history, this. Quite straight-ahead black coffee, waxy dark chocolate, toasted almond. Undertones of licorice and black pepper zetz. Rounded out (though still edgy-some) by dense potting soil earth w/ umami swirls. Finishes in a red spice manner w/ purple fruit lilt. Note a huge room-note but a darkly savory-sweet one akin to its aroma. A tick thin; half-tick sharp. Still...

Surprisingly satisfying for its MSRP, performance-wise as well. There is a wobble-wave to the burn but no retouches are mandated. Ash grows Cuban Sandwich done right tight. Draw is smooth, even-keeled. Pacing: ditto. Lots of smoke out-put off both ends both passive and active. Much more than a passable everyday offering. Not certainly complex nor nuanced but transitional toward smooth sweetnesses.

TASTE: B
DRAW: A-
BURN: B
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Monday, December 13, 2021

Martial Arts in Sherlock Holmes Canon & Premium Tobacco Pairings Vol. 3 Boxing

lo-fi & lovely

Martial Arts in Sherlock Holmes Canon & Premium Tobacco Pairings Vol. 3 Boxing

::: BOXING IN SHERLOCKIAN CANON :::

It is for me, in pugilism proper enough, where it hits home Sherlock Holmes is no wall-to-wall cozy. No fully armchair detective. Sure, I have been made to understand that in recent Sherlock movies starring Iron Man, there is much focus on fisticuffs--but I won't ever see those. So as always here in this series within a series, we stick to canon to show us the way. Off then we go upon our path and sans "metallic argument" [COPP] and bearing in mind that Watson noted Holmes as: "an expert singlestick player, boxer, and swordsman.” [STUD] Speaking of Doc, "Watson, have no compunction about shooting them down." [REDH]

I feel as though I should at least partially digress.

"I don’t know none o’ your friends.” “Oh, yes, you do, McMurdo,” cried Sherlock Holmes, genially. “I don’t think you can have forgotten me. Don’t you remember the amateur who fought three rounds with you at Alison’s rooms on the night of your benefit four years back?” “Not Mr. Sherlock Holmes!” roared the prize-fighter. “God’s truth! how could I have mistook you? If instead o’ standin’ there so quiet you had just stepped up and given me that cross-hit of yours under the jaw, I’d ha’ known you without a question." The Sign of the Four [SIGN]

There, we see a victorious Holmes--but it doesn't always shake-out in exactly that way. In The Adventure of the Empty House [EMPT] Holmes scrubs through the letter M of his chronicled character collection mentioning "and Mathews, who knocked out my left canine in the waiting-room at Charing Cross." Whilst not mentioned as boxing per se or even as an empty-handed wallop, my headcanon tells me it was a right cross that done it. But, of course, not in a ring. Speaking of ring--Ring Lardner couldn't have done it much better than the next and (probably not) final entrant...

In one of my favorite canon scenes from The Adventure of the Solitary Cyclist [SOLI] Holmes trounces Mr. Woodley: "...when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the tap-room and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous. He ended a string of abuse by a vicious backhander, which I failed to entirely avoid. The next few minutes were delicious. It was a straight left against a slogging ruffian. I emerged as you see me. Mr. Woodley went home in a cart."

Man, I love this stuff. If I might step away from both canon and the written word for a short paragraph, this is why Rathbone is my movie reel Holmes, not Brett. Jeremy Brett does not capture what I feel to be this important Holmesian aspect any more than would Tony Randall as Felix Unger (to whom I often draw comparisons). So much so, that I overlook Basil's time-hopping into hard-boiled. Mostly.

::: ON THE SPORT OF BOXING :::

It is hard to envision two ancient men vying for an ancient woman and settling upon a foot-race to decide who goes home (cave) together.  This is hard to envision because it most likely never happened. The two males would engage in a round of Jeopardy!, of course. Come to think of it--they'd probably just hit each other in their heads with their fists until one quit and/or realized that her thighs were a bit too chunky anyways. What I'm saying is that proto-pugilism finds its roots in the ::: very ::: roots of personkind.

From antiquity's swatches of leather (at times adorned with spikes) to today's poofy red gloves and many points in-between--boxing--throughout its development is the truest contest held between humans. Sure, one might posit lay-and-pray MMA, but nope. Boxing is the bloodsport par excellence and old as time. And also for almost as long, crooked as a banana... it adds to the charm and takes minimally from the in-the-moment spectatorship of the spectacle. Fat guys who sit behind desks all day can still throw shade on "bums" who quit on the stool in round 9. What a great sport. I used to write about it, you know. 

We need Fury vs. Usyk now. The worst of boxing is seen in bullshit mandatory defenses decreed by alphabet soup entities and also in immediate rematch clauses. As goes the Heavyweight Division, so goes the sport of boxing. See? I still got it!

::: BOXING AND PREMIUM TOBACCO PAIRINGS :::

As to pairing the sweet science with cigars, think spicy but not too terribly strong--one must be titillated but not tipsy. Corojo is close but might lull a person onto their heels. Habano is the obvious ball-of-foot choice then. Say Ecuadorian Habano in terms of the wrapper and Nicaraguan in terms of guts but not fully; with some Dominican cut in. Might I recommend a Toro format, in case the bout goes as long as championship rounds? Yes, I definitely will.  As for pipe tobacco, let's look no further than the Marquess of Queensberry Rules, drafted in 1865 London and published two years later. An English Blend, then. A hearty one. heavy on the Latakia. 

::: BONUS MATERIAL :::

(Two more bits of mainly just the facts, ma'am bonus as a reward for my Sherlockian readership who have braved both sports talk and cigar chat.)

In The Gloria Scott, we find Holmes reminiscing to Watson on his own university days "Bar fencing and boxing I had few athletic tastes, and then my line of study was quite distinct from that of the other fellows, so that we had no points of contact at all." [GLOR]

Also and finally at long last, this from Mr. Sholto in The Sign of the Four “We did know, however, that some mystery--some positive danger--overhung our father. He was very fearful of going out alone, and he always employed two prize-fighters to act as porters at Pondicherry Lodge. Williams, who drove you to-night, was one of them. He was once light-weight champion of England." [SIGN]

In closing, if I dare to say that after beginning the previous paragraph's opening sentence including the word 'finally.' & not even to mention I believe I alluded to the same sort of thing even earlier--Holmes can be seen as the complete detective. In him are both Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin. This leaves the action-freak Watson loose to be both icing on the combative cake and narrator beyond compare.

::: COMPANION READING :::

Via the Search Kaplowitz Media. feature on the right of your screen, you can find other entries of this series. Namely, Baritsu and Single-stick. Before that, there were card games (Whist, Ecarte, & Poker). Also, Adult beverages (Whiskey & Soda, Port, & Brandy). Entering any of these keywords should get you as afoot as the game.

::: REFERENCE MATERIALS :::

I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere (Trifles)
McMurdo's Camp

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Friday, December 10, 2021

Acosta Cigars Envidia in Review

lo-fi & lovely

Acosta Cigars Envidia in Review

WRAPPER: Dominican Habano 2000 Oscuro
BINDER: Dominican
FILLER: Dominican

FORMAT: Torpedo (652)
ORIGIN: Dominican Republic
INTENSITY: Medium

NOTES:
Citrus | Cocoa butter | Suede

It takes a bit of the 1/3 to get the stubble-fuzz off the limon. A somewhat spiky-gruff opening. Smoothes from there into a cocoa butter addition. Suede hoists and offers a goodly savoriness. Cereal grains. White peppercorn firms but also sometimes confuses the profile when it teams-up with the citrus aspects and ODs the palate on sour. A dry profile of moderate complexity and only-ever fledgling nuance. Lots of corners. Chicken coup and coffee w/ cream & sugar at the mid-point.

Heavily salted minerality on the back end. A supporting cast of chamomile, white ginger, and an almosting of buttery cedar beat down by sour notes. Only sorta balanced, with a perceived tilt toward a 'Cuban-esque' delivery of that citrus & minerality. Creaminess doesn't get beyond 2% milk viscosity, falling short of filling and smoothing up & out. Stays a tick sharp but far from unbearably-so. Bright but filtered thru foginess. Some greater delineation would be, well, great(er). I do get some cream soda, which is neat and on-par with what's stabbed-at. 

Performance-wise, there's a wobble to the burn but one slight enough as to not require fixin'. Nice smooth draw. Ash does miss an inch, flaking some. Very dry there, and in the smoke-hole. A quite veiny and lesser but still noticeably lumpy shaft. Seams hold, as does the cap and firmness of roll. No hard/soft spots. Does smoke a bit toward quickly. A moderate-plus amount of smoke both passive and active leaves a pleasant room-note where the goodnesses of draw (sweetness) far outweighs its negative qualities (sourness). A bit fusty. Nice, there.

TASTE: B+
DRAW: B+
BURN: B
BUILD: B+

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Thursday, December 9, 2021

Excerpt VI from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

lo-fi & lovely

Excerpt VI from the Kaplowitz Media. 
Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project (UCD)

::: EXCERPT :::

Pig-tail A Flag Tip twirled and twisted on itself in such a way as to resemble a, you know, pig’s tail. I tend to think they look like little embroidered yamulkes–which kinda flies in the face of analogous pork products.

Quisqueyas A term used in the Dominican Republic for a Casa de Tabacco (or Air Curing Barn). They are typically built more primitively, however, with open-sides.

I cannot pronounce this word. On account of this, the audiobook edition will not be happening. Sad!

Rolling Table The place a cigar roller sits-at whilst rolling cigars. See: Cigarmaker.

B is for Brooklyn… Funny thing is reviewing and writing about premium tobacco isn’t my first gig in the industry. Back in Brooklyn, where I was born and raised, I did that second thing at a time when this cute tale could take place. I’d be playing outside my parents’ apartment building, and often one of my few clients would call out to me. “Hey,” they’d yell. And shortly after a sock full of cigarette money would fall down toward me from their window. I’d run to the corner drugstore, buy their smokes, and send the sock back their way with their cigarettes in it. I’d keep the change. Cha-ching!

I've made mention of these _ is for ________ things. There will be one for each letter, set atop the entries. Some will be stories, some further or lateral information or opinion. Wow, right?

::: BONUS MATERIAL :::

Flag Tip Some cigars do not have a cap, per se. Instead, the roller extends the wrapper over-top the head of the cigar. Flags can be swirled atop the cigar as in a Pig-tail or left flappin’ in the breeze au natural like a curly head. 

Air Curing Barn See: Casa de Tabacco, Quisqueyas

The main Casa de Tabacco entry is in the eventual book ONLY. Unless I've already shared it in a previous excerpt. Hard to say; impossible to tell.

Cigarmaker Obviously, one who engages in the making of shoes. Some entries are definitely as well as definitively more useful than others. 

lol

::: FONT GUIDE :::

Excerpt from the work-in-progress book (UCD).
My thoughts on the work-in-progress book (UCD).
Italics
within definitions are recommendations to see that entry.

::: WHAT DID I JUST READ? :::

As you Gentlepersons hopefully know or are at the ::: very ::: least now FINALLY aware of under that rock of yours, I am constructing a Cigar Dictionary. A book. It is yet to have been named. Its working title is "Unnamed Cigar Dictionary" (UCD). I will change that "As soon as possible" (ASAP). Nevertheless, the idea of the whole thing, the game plan, is that I will blog the process of creating & assembling the UCD on a non-scheduled basis.

Included in these blog posts will be my italicized thoughts regarding said creating & assembling process--and as we get closer to it being a book proper, the process of that, as well. THESE WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FINISHED BOOK. Please note that not everything, including the whole or part of definitions, will appear in the finished book.

To read other excerpts, search Unnamed Cigar Dictionary or UCD, in the Search Kaplowitz Media. field to the right of your screen.

I need you Gentlepersons to get excited about this and not be able to wait to purchase it--whenever it finally is completed and available for said purchasing. NO TIMEFRAME.

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

StillWell Star Navy No. 1056 by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigar Review

lo-fi & lovely

StillWell Star Navy No. 1056
by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigar Review


WRAPPER: Ecuadorian Habano
BINDER: San Andreas Negro
FILLER: Red & Golden Virginia, Oriental, Latakia, "black cigar leaf," undisclosed etc.

FORMAT: Toro (652)
ORIGIN: Joya de Nicaragua SA
INTENSITY: Medium

NOTES:
Dessert spices | Smoked meats | Chocolate

Starts edgy but quickly smooths out. Like an emo kid coming off of puberty. A ::: very ::: nice look-see at VA 'baccys. Sweet bright light, much like myself. An evolving cushioning of that sort, a neat maturation into roasted oranges, milk chocolate fudge. Some condiment Oriental leaf drops orange-red spices, a baked dessert array. Latakia whispers via smoked meats two tents over in the woods. I think there's S'mores, too--but that's probably the San Andreas talking. The cigar, its 'black leaf,' feels like the anchor here.

All this, tethered (anchored) in compost and barnyard earthiness. Savory-sweetly-so. Dense insofar as all is stacked tightly, widely; a portly profile. Well-balanced, particularly when black pepper drops kindly into toasted grains in the 2/3. Nicely complex, neatly transitional. Buckwheat honey, blackstrap molasses. Dark sweets flesh out the middling grain. Boozy back-end on account of the 'naval rations.' Lip-smacking finish of bittersweet lingerings that end cleanly after a good while. Irish cream liqueur. Black coffee exit. 

The ash does show some clumps and airiness but does hold to an inch at a time on a tick of a ribbony line. Smokes cool & slow. The smoothest draw of all the StillWell line--the least damp. Perhaps since it was dry-boxed longest. To find out more about dry box, ask your wife <snicker>. Excellent smoke out-put provides a pleasant af aroma and surprisingly delicate room-note. Each kindly-sweet. Assemblage holds fast, me hearties. No loosening nor softening. Calm waters. Probably not the eye of the storm. I can't be expected to let my guard down.

TASTE: A-
DRAW: A-
BURN: B+
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

On "The Adventure of the Speckled Band" from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

lo-fi & lovely

On "The Adventure of the Speckled Band" [SPEC]
from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 
by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

::: PUBLICATION HISTORY :::

The Strand Magazine (UK) February 1892
The Strand (US) March 1892
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (Coll.) October 1892

::: NOTES & GRADING :::

Baboons, cheetahs, and snakes, OH MY! Plus, everyone is knocked up... Mrs. Hudson, Holmes, and then Watson (no, not like that). We then meet Helen Stoner, the client. A debutante of sorts, living with her quite mad step-father--the latest heir of a decaying old family. A poor little pre-maturely grey-haired rich girl, of sorts with lines that don't make me like nor pity her such as, "No servant would stay with us" and "we were little likely to see anyone of our own age and position." Plus, she shares how her hush-money had hushed her step-dad's severe mistreatment of a blacksmith just one-week prior.

& then on the heels of her, comes he. Dr. Grimesby Roylott himself and he arrives inside of one of my ::: very ::: favorite Holmesian scenes. “I know you, you scoundrel! I have heard of you before. You are Holmes, the meddler.” My friend smiled. “Holmes, the busybody!” His smile broadened. “Holmes, the Scotland Yard Jack-in-office!”

... “I will go when I have had my say. Don’t you dare to meddle with my affairs. I know that Miss Stoner has been here. I traced her! I am a dangerous man to fall foul of! See here.” He stepped swiftly forward, seized the poker, and bent it into a curve with his huge brown hands." ... “He seems a very amiable person,” said Holmes, laughing. “I am not quite so bulky, but if he had remained I might have shown him that my grip was not much more feeble than his own.” As he spoke he picked up the steel poker and, with a sudden effort, straightened it out again."

But where is the mystery? It's really more of a Gothic tale of horror. A Howdunit, much more than a Whodunit. A quite top-loaded one at that, with all you really need to know happening all at once, right away. Plop! A somewhat imbalanced plot, then and that's where I tuck-in the investigation which bleeds over-into the solution via the problem. The said investigation is virtually non-existent. There is no deduction, just Holmes and Watson sitting in a dark room, waiting. Waiting and each spooked af whilst doing-so. The investigation of the room and its adjoining ones in the manor is interesting though. Or at least well-written. But also full of suspensions of disbelief.

The rest is just a 30-year-old brat telling our dynamic duo a story and Holmes deducing her mode of transportation in coming to see them. That's harsh. It's been raining all day and that sometimes puts me in a tick of a snit.

So you're saying this all leads to a snake that is most likely actually some sort of legged lizard, and trained by a saucer of milk? OK. Really, I'm OK with these oddities in my Sherlockian universe. Note that I didn't even mention the crop-in-a-goose issue within my Blue Carbuncle review. I do adore the Siegfried and Roy-ishness of a cheetah prowling the grounds. Plus a damn baboon will rip your damn face off. Nothing says evil quite like that! Speaking of evil: The mother of these twins--am I the only one who assumes they were killed by Dr. Grimesby Roylott eight years prior? To me, that's made just as clear as the bad doctor having offed Helen's twin. 

Roylott. I actually love this character and would love a pastiche or two fleshing him out. He can quite be a Professor Challenger type nemesis as opposed to Moriarty simply playing dark side Holmes. An overt comic book villain. Therefore, characters are quite nice here, although many are off-screen so to speak. The mom, the other twin, AND BEFORE I FORGET AGAIN, why did she scream "Speckled band?" It would have made matters a good tick easier for all involved if she'd simply yelled "Holy fuck, a snake bit me!" But she maybe lit that candle after and by then it had slithered/walked back up the dummy bell cord. Perhaps its pattern was somewhat iridescent. I'm more than fine not trying to make the "Swamp Adder" any real sort of creature here. 

The settings are decent, a sleepy 221b doesn't get a whole lotta love but the room in which we wait is definitely given its creepy due, as well as the doc's. A thought from left-field... was Holmes needed in this story at all? Worthy of note is this is Doyle's literal number one favorite Sherlock adventure. Perhaps this is how he chose to see his creation. In further perhaps, perhaps that's why he was so longing to kill him off. Can a creator not fully grok his own creation's merit? Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. I'll wrap it up on the solution--which was again never in doubt but was also kinda fun and action-packed. The poetic justice of which was overt but well-done.

CHARACTERS: 1.5/2
SETTING: 1.5/2
PLOT: 1/2
PROBLEM: .5/2
SOLUTION: 1/2

FINAL GRADE: 5.5/10

I'd like to take a moment to remind you kind Gentlepersons that I write these thoughts under the assumption of you having read these adventures. They are readily available everywhere, including for free at Project Gutenberg as well as Wikisource, where you can listen to it read, as well.

Also, please bear in mind that this post is part of a series in which I'm working through every case in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. For other entries in this series, use the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen and plug in either particular adventures contained within that collection, or The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

Finally, please do check out I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere and Interesting Though Elementary, a pair of Sherlockian spots elsewhere on the internet that I highly recommend and at times use in my own research. I've also taken a liking to having David Clarke read to me on LibriVox.

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Monday, December 6, 2021

Kaplowitz To-day Special: LIVE w/ Luis & Alec of Casa Cuevas Cigars

lo-fi & lovely

Kaplowitz To-day for December 6. 2021
Special: LIVE Interview
w/ Luis & Alec of Casa Cuevas Cigars


Luis & Alec drop-in to discuss their Patrimonio blend, Generations, and other things. DISCLAIMER: my son does not eat dirt. 

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

StillWell Star Bayou No. 32 by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigar Review

lo-fi & lovely

StillWell Star Bayou No. 32 by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigar Review

WRAPPER: Ecuadorian Habano
BINDER: San Andreas Negro
FILLER: Virginia (Bright & Red), Perique, Nicaraguan, & ???

FORMAT: Toro (652)
ORIGIN: Joy de Nicaragua
INTENSITY: Medium

NOTES:
Lemonhead candy | Black pepper | Patent leather

"It's a lot like peppered Lemonheads," reads a text I send to an only somewhat interested party. Black peppercorn, that's the Perique, and under that is its inherent savoriness. A patent leather thing. The sweet & sour OK sour and sweet tidings are brought by the Virginias. The cigars aspect of this Frankenstein experiment is a nice look at brawny but well-trained Nicaragua. Bold not brash and nicely complex Dark chocolate, red spices, more black pepper (flakes here), and dark grains, toasted heavily. A black bread vibe. It's definitely an invigorating blend. Crispy bacon at the half-way mark for about an inch.

A bit of mash bill booziness sidles into the middling. Savory earthiness a soy sauce fungal oriental cuisine sense of imagery. Candied almond. Tropical flowers. Sarsparilla snoot-full. I've taken to writing these StillWell reviews in a pipe tobacco style--funny enough though--this Bayou is the most cigar tasting of what I've smoked thus far. I have yet to smoke the Navy (that reads oddly). Nevertheless, a quite delineated and hyper-focused smoke here. Complex, but somewhat lacking in nuance as it feels a tick untethered at times. A soaring thing. As a kid, I used to watch the Blue Angels from the boardwalk. Brighton Beach.

A slightly damp snug draw seems to be a running theme with the StillWell line-up, but it never truly impedes. Ash grows thick and oily-dense. Mouth-feel too is viscous. Finishes on long chubby legs, cleanly-so. Smoke out-put is big with a plush sweet-savory room-note. Build is excellent, with no softening or loosening. Burn-line lags a tick on occasion, as far as the wrapper keeping pace with the rest--but happens on a straight and thin line. A cigar that likes to be smoked and seems impossible to over-smoke. A boon for the greedy. 

TASTE: A-
DRAW: A-
BURN: B+
BUILD: A-

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Friday, December 3, 2021

On "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle" from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

lo-fi & lovely

On "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle" [BLUE]
from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 
by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

::: PUBLICATION HISTORY :::

The Strand Magazine (UK) January 1892
The Strand (US) February 1892
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (Coll.) October 1892

::: NOTES & GRADING :::

'Twas two-days after Christmas...

& I imagine the perennial action freak Watson was long pent up and pacing over Christmas. Stuck home with one of his any-which number of wives, watching the London snow turn as grey-brown as the sky. Just itching to get over to 221b. Once there, he finds Holmes being quite Holmes. “You are engaged,” said I; “perhaps I interrupt you.” Hoping to hear the reply he hears and we are off. Except we aren't really. We are examining a "disreputable" hat. Here, I feel Holmes plays at silly. He ribs Watson in this way, on occassion.

"For answer Holmes clapped the hat upon his head. It came right over the forehead and settled upon the bridge of his nose. “It is a question of cubic capacity,” said he; “a man with so large a brain must have something in it." There are other deductions made and just when one might take this simply as the mental masturbation it is presented as--finally--we are off. It all ties so nicely together, this plot. There it is threaded well by excellent visiting characters as well as familiar ones in top form. "You are certainly joking, Holmes." As I said, I feel he is, I mean 'tis the season and whatnot, & in all seasons, we all know that the earth travels around the sun.

"Sherlock Holmes had opened his mouth to reply, when the door flew open, and Peterson, the commissionaire, rushed into the apartment with flushed cheeks and the face of a man who is dazed with astonishment. “The goose, Mr. Holmes! The goose, sir!” he gasped." Can we linger just a scan minute upon how Peterson finds a nigh priceless gem in the crow of a bird and simply succumbs the situation's finders keepers rule to Holmes's "Ah, yes, I shall keep the stone. Thank you. And, I say, Peterson, just buy a goose on your way back and leave it here with me, for we must have one to give to this gentleman in place of the one which your family is now devouring."

Plus, the replacement goose is on Peterson? What a fella, this commissionaire. Nevertheless, we are as stated, off. Off onto a literal wild goose chase, to boot. The characters! A scapegoat with a checkered past, a degenerate gambler, a timid sniveler playing poorly at swindler, and the down-on-his-luck owner of that 'disreputable' hat. A full .5 points for Mrs. Hudson appearing. She always adds a lovely aspect, apparently and particularly around the holidays. So cozy a presence.

Let's get back on course here, or at least forward our progress. I've already mentioned the thickening plot. The problem evolves and unfurls in purposeful earnest, even when somewhat meandering in order to create mood. It's a neat little tour of a world outside Baker Street but not afar at all. Watson, showing you the sites he sees regularly, on your first time in town. Plus and maybe even foremost: it's a Doylian Christmas tale... and what could possibly beat that? NOTHING. What a dang setting! Ah, but the solution.

Holmes lets a baddie get off scot-free in order to not create from him a worse-yet baddie. Plus, he's been sufficiently scared straight. His "I suppose that I am commuting a felony, but it is just possible that I am saving a soul. This fellow will not go wrong again; he is too terribly frightened. Send him to gaol now, and you make him a gaol-bird for life," rings deliciously progressive and daresay Bohemian. Also, the only conceivable way a yuletide tale could end--is in forgiveness. It's not the only time Holmes does this. But it is the only time which ends... 

"Chance has put in our way a most singular and whimsical problem, and its solution is its own reward. If you will have the goodness to touch the bell, Doctor, we will begin another investigation, in which, also a bird will be the chief feature." One can hear the caroling and violin waft around the sleigh bell scene, a full table--goose in its center. As outside the window, are even more Season's Greetings. Perhaps it's the time of year I re-read and wrote in, but I don't recall liking this adventure nearly as much before now. Tho, I've always been a sucker for xmas. 

Hold on. What happened to the Blue Carbuncle? Hands where I can see them & nobody move! I'd imagine Holmes returned it to the Countess for quite the handsome reward. Remember he said: “That is the reward, and I have reason to know that there are sentimental considerations in the background which would induce the Countess to part with half her fortune if she could but recover the gem." I bet he drove a hard bargain, softly-so. He got a better deal than Peterson coulda mustered.

In my headcanon, old Peterson got his from that amount. I bet he knew he'd be taken care of quite well, which explains the lack of balking in handing it over in the first. So ::: very ::: merry. Let's remember (though I can't recall where it's stated) that with the rent Holmes paid, he could have well purchased the entire house over the time of doing-so. A doorman would rightly expect excellent compensation within that context.

CHARACTERS: 2/2
SETTING: 2/2
PLOT: 1.5/2
PROBLEM: 1.5/2
SOLUTION: 1.5/2

FINAL GRADE: 8.5/10

I'd like to take a moment to remind you kind Gentlepersons that I write these thoughts under the assumption of you having read these adventures. They are readily available everywhere, including for free at Project Gutenberg as well as Wikisource, where you can listen to it read, as well.

Also, please bear in mind that this post is part of a series in which I'm working through every case in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. For other entries in this series, use the Search Kaplowitz Media. function to the right of your screen and plug in either particular adventures contained within that collection, or The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

Finally, please do check out I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere and Interesting Though Elementary, a pair of Sherlockian spots elsewhere on the internet that I highly recommend and at times use in my own research. I've also taken a liking to having David Clarke read to me on LibriVox.

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::

Thursday, December 2, 2021

StillWell Star English No. 27 by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigar Review

lo-fi & lovely

StillWell Star English No. 27 by Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Cigar Review

WRAPPER: Ecuadorian Habano
BINDER: San Andreas Negro
FILLER: Burley, Turkish, Latakia (Cypriot), various

FORMAT: Toro (652)
ORIGIN: Joya de Nicaragua SA
INTENSITY: Medium-full

NOTES:
Dark chocolate | Black walnut | Anise

Does the inclusion of Burley make this more an American/English blend? I don't taste it much really, other than a bit of pale nuttiness on the far-end. Perhaps it's less condimental and more to do with performance, say to aid the burn. Nevertheless, it grows on the palate via progression, and candies some. Smoky Latakia is still out-ahead and lovely as ever. Here, it's reminiscent of a cuppa lapsang souchong. I sense savory vegetal and fungal tidings. Pinewood. Latakia grips my tongue hostage and call me Stockholm because I like it. Salty.

Sweet & sour spices. Duck sauce remembrances FTW. The Orientals (Turkish) drive the profile from its middlings. That aforementioned sweet nuttiness is definitely coming up from there & quite aromatically, for lack of a better word. Subtley spicy, warmly and well-rounded. Leathery/gamey. Heavy & toasted grains. Roasted oranges. Cloves. Ginger. Calendula. Short. Exciting. Sentences. I'm having a blast. Here. I can see the cigar 'baccy clearly, too--its own darker more bitter spices counter-balancing well. Dark chocolate, black walnut. Black pepper. Licorice. Slightly charred pumpkin pie. 

Performance-wise, the thing is a winner, with a slight ding as it airs toward smoking a half-tick moist. Regardless, dead-even burn, razor-thin line. Dense af ash that clings like something quite clingy. Draw is extra fine although, again, some damp. Assemblage holds fast. Zero hard/soft spots and only ::: very ::: minimal softening. Oily in the hand and mouth. Viscous, each. There's so much--a bit like watching all three rings of a circus, all at once. Smoke out-put is BIG in every way and the room-note is not for the faint of heart, nor the non-smoker. 

Becomes a bit muddled at the end. It does beat hard, the Latakia drum, this ought to separate out the Latakia likers from lovers. Haters need not apply. I pack mostly English blends in my own pipes, and man, keep beating that drum. Also, the Orientals really do drive, lift, and (mainly) separate. 

TASTE: A-
DRAW: A-
BURN: A-
BUILD: A

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

@kaplowitzmedia
Instagram | Twitter

::: very :::

Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Excerpt V from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project

lo-fi & lovely

Excerpt V from the Kaplowitz Media. Unnamed Cigar Dictionary Project (UCD)

::: EXCERPT :::

Maduro In a rudimentary manner, a dark-colored cigar. A hotter and longer fermentation period is what’s at play in truer forms. In cases of that, characteristics involve deeper, sweeter flavors. Maduro literally means mature... think of it in terms of ripe. I’ll take a moment to state here that a dark cigar is no indication of strength any more than a lighter shade surely indicates mildness.

In instances wherein shortcuts were employed in order to mimic the Maduro complexion… well, let’s just say I’ve rolled what looked to dye off some “maduros” that had played suspiciously upon my vaulted palate.

A note about hue not signaling strength. I will say that it isn't the terrible guide many (including myself in the portion above) claim it to be--it's just not fool-proof to assume the darker a cigar the stronger it is. Like anything else, there are exceptions. I do know that from reading older cigar materials, say from the 80s-90s, they do, in fact, state the paler a cigar the milder (which is still more the case). I will look into this further but my guess is that things change over time and also that I'll forget to look into this further. 

Nub The last little bit of a cigar. The part from the band-point on-down. A term used as a point of the cigar smoking experience–not in the anatomy of a cigar, per se. 

Nubbing The act of smoking the Nub. Please refrain from actually saying this. Thank you. 

Some small much is made on instruments and tools that are geared toward enabling nubbing. Ornate spears are often bejeweled and the like. Some use a humble corn cob holder. My personal preference is to be even more humble if I must brag. The lowly toothpick is my nubbing tool of choice. 

I also use a toothpick, on occasion, to free up a plugged cigar. Sure there are specific tools with teeth and greater length–but with that comes the greater likelihood of a FUBAR cigar. Toothpicks, am I right? Of course, I am. Plugged cigars are briefly mentioned in the Dry Draw entry as well as in its own entry.

"I'm nubbing it, Broski! I should get another out of my humi! EPIC" Fratboys never die they just grow old and make other people want to die.

Oil In well-kept cigars of certain leaf types in particular, oils are exuded from inside to out–as exuding would denote. A healthy sheen is, well, healthy. It does bear mentioning that plume exists no more than do unicorns. More on this ever-touchy subject in the Plume entry. Suffice to say here, it is always mold, that plume you seem so proud of.

"Is this plume or mold?" A popular question in the cigar world, on par with "Cello on or cello off?" I'm just super unsure why it is people still ask these questions over and over again in forums and groups. Did you mean to type that into a Google search, Broski? See: Cellophane and Aging entries... wait, this is all italicized. Fuck. See FONT GUIDE BELOW

::: BONUS MATERIAL :::

Cellophane (or cello) is the clear plastic sleeve that individually wraps many cigars not of Cuban origin. Except for that it is not plastic at all. True cellophane is plant matter (cellulose) and is breathable. Cello comes in handy in protecting against ham-fisted handlings and does serve to somewhat maintain moisture levels. Is it necessary? Should you keep it on or take it off? See Box-aging under the Aging entry for more info. Unless you’re reading this straight through like a goddamned boss. In that case, you’ve read that already. Such a BOSS, you.

This is a lot of work.

Aging 
3. Box-aging is a thing done on the consumer level in their private Humidor. This can be done for years or even decades. There is some debate as to longer periods of time having a limit where at that point, the cigar’s flavors peter-out. All forms of aging are done with the goal of smoothing out profiles so as to highlight rich complexities and nuances. Another age-old debate: “Cello(phane) on or off?” sees its one definitively right or wrong across the board answer here… it is ‘cello off’ for aging. Although there are people who adamantly do not agree.

I'm gonna go take a nap.

::: FONT GUIDE :::

Excerpt from the work-in-progress book (UCD).
My thoughts on the work-in-progress book (UCD).
Italics within definitions are recommendations to see that entry.

::: WHAT DID I JUST READ? :::

As you Gentlepersons hopefully know or are at the ::: very ::: least now FINALLY aware of under that rock of yours, I am constructing a Cigar Dictionary. A book. It is yet to have been named. Its working title is "Unnamed Cigar Dictionary" (UCD). I will change that "As soon as possible" (ASAP). Nevertheless, the idea of the whole thing, the game plan, is that I will blog the process of creating & assembling the UCD on a non-scheduled basis.

Included in these blog posts will be my italicized thoughts regarding said creating & assembling process--and as we get closer to it being a book proper, the process of that, as well. THESE WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FINISHED BOOK. Please note that not everything, including the whole or part of definitions, will appear in the finished book.

To read other excerpts, search Unnamed Cigar Dictionary or UCD, in the Search Kaplowitz Media. field to the right of your screen.

I need you Gentlepersons to get excited about this and not be able to wait to purchase it--whenever it finally is completed and available for said purchasing.   

@kaplowitzmedia
Twitter | Instagram

::: very :::