Thursday, January 23, 2020

Kaplowitz Media. Social Media News

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"
Then I was like. "WTF, a press release fresh out of nowhere?!"
I demand press releases of forthcoming press releases.
& w/ that began a bit of Twitter fun I indulged in yesterday. A couple notes as to this post: I'm not editing the tweets (much), just moving them here. I tweeted all this shit pre-coffee after a night of insomnia. Also, follow Kaplowitz Media. on Twitter >>> twitter.com/KaplowitzMedia

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Kaplowitz Media. protocol clearly states that three business days prior to receipt of press release, a press release pertaining to said press release be sent. Please format all press releases in a manner easy for Kaplowitz Media. to copy/paste & pass off as actual content. -Mgmt

ADDENDUM failure to do so will see any forthcoming related reviews 'dinged' in their final grade. This will mean a 143 rating for an average cigar (using a 100 scale) will be officially deemed a sub-par 126.

ADDENDUM to ADDENDUM in the interest of fair grading, numbers can be added back to said final grade for reasons such as cool hats. At times, these extra numbers will be in the form of letters, crude sketches, or stories about the 1970s.

The exact query protocol will be outlined in a press release I am drafting currently. Expect a press release shortly pertaining to that future press release's release. Make sure to email kaplowitzmedia@mail.com for inclusion.

When emailing, please send request in the form of a Google Doc & include "Kaplowitz Media. Press Release Inclusion" in the subject line.

Responses will only be drafted to media entities who attend trade shows.

Ever the critic, I deem this thread a 163 on a 100 point scale. Some points being deducted for lack of complexity & occasional soft spots. However, the wet fence post note in the 2/3 was quite intriguing.

Please ignore "points points" NEW GRADE: 159.

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Thanks for checking out how clever I am. But there's more to this than that. Be sure to follow Kaplowitz Media. on Twitter. Again:

twitter.com/KaplowitzMedia Why, because LOOK AT THAT FUCKING CONTENT and also, Kaplowitz Radio will shortly be stepping away from Facebook & its kin, including Instagram. thx

::: very :::