Sunday, March 31, 2019

On CBD Oil Infused Cigars | Cigar View by Kaplowitz

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"


"Fuck this CBD snake oil bullshit. I swear people have lost their damn minds." - my special lady friend.

To a large & even vast extent, she's right. Probably. I'm not just saying that because she lets me touch her butt. Probably. Much of the CBD hype smacks of vague quasi-science -- if not fully 'snake oil' sales. It seems to cure everything. Except I've also talked to a good deal of folks who got bupkis relief from what ails them via the stuff. Also, Bob Marley died of cancer.

Is it fuck all worthless? Is it transcendent gold? I don't care. My guess is it sits somewhere in the middle of WWII era doctors recommending walking a mile for smooth-smoking Camel & a good strong cup of your yoga instructor's chamomile tea. Was it G. Carlin who said much of the marijuana high is expecting and being open to getting high? It was someone. So, that. I know, I know - no one's talking THC here.


Cigars, tho -- we're talking/I'm writing re: cigars... of the newly intro'd CBD oil varietal. I skirted the question on the latest Kaplowitz Television ep ((( link ))) "Are CBD oil cigars "gimmick sticks?"" Too, I wrote about 'gimmick sticks' in last week's editorial ((( link ))) 

Yes. They are gimmick sticks. Before you jump down my throat about this, I am on the record at the afore-posted link as being pro gimmick stick. #TeamGimmick if ya will. So there. With a caveat here: please don't sell these things as a cure for everything 'tween A & Z and beyond. I realize that is an integral if not inherent part of the gimmick -- but maybe soft-sell the cure-for-everything bit.

What do we have thus far on the CBD oil cigar market? Jas Sum Kral Nuggs & Traficante El Patron, to my understanding. JSK's is a very mild tobacco blend, so as to highlight the oil. So is it a gimmick stick or gimmick CBD delivery system? Or is it both? Gosh, I do-so hope it's both. Double gimmicks make me cry even more happy tears than do double rainbows.

Speaking of rainbows, I saw a midget while shopping at WinCo yesterday evening. So I'm expecting great fortune today. That. however, is neither here nor there. It is SOMEWHERE, tho. I mean everything is somewhere.

As to the Traficante stick, I know virtually nada about the brand. Although they do seem to market to the anti-hero if not straight riff-raff brigade. So I s'pose CBD fits. Bad boy therapy, maybe. Dunno. For the record, I find their marketing quite interesting. Also, I haven't ever smoked one, which begs the Q; interesting how, exactly?

"You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown?" Ah, the limit-full stylings of Mr. Joe Pesci. [replace funny with interesting there]


Does this fully explain my response to the question? Mostly, I'm sure. It's spring-time & I'm distracted by the weather. One thing more -- a thing with which to arm yerself lest you fall prey to snake-oil salesmanship (none of which I've seen yet in cigars, but just in case and maybe to the whole CBD oil shebang)... cocaine, opioids, booze, and my good G-d garsh 'even' tobacco, have all in the past been touted as cure-alls to varying extents. 

Coca-Cola went fairly mainstream even post coke zetz. Anyone taking action on whether or not the CBD oil fad/craze/enlightening takes its infused cigars with it back into the good graces of the general public? It seems these days drugstores are pulling 'baccy & placing Cannabidiol. I mean, they're called drug stores for a reason, perhaps. 


Anything tobacco is demonized & anything pot is lauded. Such strange times. Circling back: "Pharmacy (n.) late 14c., "a medicine," from Old French farmacie "a purgative" (13c.), from Medieval Latin pharmacia, from Greek pharmakeia "use of drugs, medicines, potions, or spells; poisoning, witchcraft; remedy, cure," from pharmakeus" - www.etymonline.com 

My first tobacco industry job was running to the corner drugstore and buying cigarettes for my elderly neighbors. They'd drop socks full of bills and sometimes (end of the month) coins from their apartment windows. I'd scoop them up, run to the store and then throw a sock full of Benson & Hedges back up to them in it. I kept the change. I forget now what I used to buy with it. I know I stole my candy -- so it wasn't that.

Now, I tell people what I do to make dough dough (bread money) (a "living") and they look at me like I'm the fucking devil. I imagine I'd be a hero in their eyes if I worked at one of the 45 trillion weed dispensaries in my lil PNW town. Oh well. You're welcome for my sharing my thoughts and a little story to boot. Although I do feel not much was accomplished here. #infotainment


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