Monday, June 19, 2017

The Cigar Smoking World Championship (CSWC)

Gentlepersons, there is no lull in World Championships twixt Ward vs. Kovalev having been decided in a punctuation to their first meeting and the looming nigh Canelo vs. Golovkin come September 16th. For during the first weekend in September, we shall bear witness to the crowning of a tuxedo'd gentleperson as The World Champion Cigar Smoker in Split, Croatia.

The gala event's official program hath been released; its finale set to be finalized in closing satellite tourneys held from the 24th of June thru 1st of July in Paris, Amsterdam, Athens, and something/place called Bad Ragaz (which my sources state is not the street-name of an up-and-coming Hip-Hop artist). This finishes up a world-wide whirl-wind tour including but not limited to exotic and cosmopolitan locales such as: Bangkok, Dusseldorf, Barcelona, London, Rome, Copenhagen, and Nashville(?!).
All participants of the spectacle, each a winner already of the aforementioned qualifying trials, shall compete to see whom can smoke their personally picked Macanudo Inspirado Mareva the slowest. Each is given two long matches and a minute to light. If the Macanudo goes out, you lose -- which is somewhat the opposite of many a smoker's experience to-date.

Kick-off occurs Friday, September 1st with a Welcome Reception at 6pm followed by what is surely not a soup and sammich supper. The event's closure is a sailing trip then beach hosted "Havana Party."

In closing, Kovalev gassed because there is a limit to what training can accomplish, on an individual-by-individual basis. Also, he hath no plan B, and Ward hath plans A-Z. I love when brains will out over brawn, particularly brawn in its bullying sense. As an aside, if you find yerself in contractual negotiations -- turn down any offers of aide from one Mrs. Kathy Duva, whom secured Kovalev a guaranteed $0.00. Instead settling for part of the gate/PPV of a fight which Ward opted to vastly not hype. Brilliance abounds, and smoke 'em (slowly) if ya got 'em.