Deep in flavor. Deep in your mind.

Friday, September 30, 2016

18 Sabbaths - My Father Le Bijou 1922 - 10th Sabbath

THE CIGAR
My Father Cigars
Le Bijou 1922
6 1/8 x 52 torpedo box-press
w. Nicaraguan Habano Oscuro (Pelo De Oro)
b./f. Nicaraguan

A full review of this offering can be read HERE.
A K A P L O W I T Z Scale review can be read HERE.
All 18 Sabbaths (& more re: the project) can be read HERE.

This offering and the remaining are courtesy of Cigars City and my mad March Madness skills.
I
Over the hump and into the second half of these 18 Sabbaths, gentlepersons. I must say, I am always surprised whenst I exhibit stick-to-it-ivness. Lotsa black pepper with an accompanying heavily toasted black bread note. Nice chocolate bread type stuff too and separately so. First thing I notice other than taste is that the top-leaf seems a bit loose on the binder. A fitted bed-sheet, post-romp. Overall, the packing is softer than is usual. Draw is fairly open and line is correcting on its lonesome off an out-doors Bic torching. I cut with a Xikar Xi2 prior. Chocolate is deserting up and a darkly toasted cream is setting in. Wood. Sarsaparilla. Toasted cream is pushing up the wood-cum-cedar, seasoned. Under-belly is a rich compost doused with syrupy espresso. I taste nuts (that's what she said). A tick of that somewhat loose top-leaf needs a lick of Bic flame; betters.

Chewy mouth-feel sets in. Finish is long chocolate cream with a black pepper niceness. A lilt of citrus is on the immediate draw. A vibe of tropical fruit and flower stuffs find the start of finish. Ash is a hair flaky sheath and marbled palest grey/silver. Chocolate and a softening black bread breed decadence. Lettuce say full-bodied. Medium+ flavored. Medium strength'd. Sarsaparilla is a sweet syrup with an added molasses. Draw tightens a tick but is still in the medium realm of resistance and still more open than per usual. Burn is almost perfected.

II
Black cherry. A muling spice which is coarsely ground in rustic fashion and the citrus therein, as before, is wet. A wedge of 'range. Espresso is a mocha latte. Chocolate, dark and rich remains a separate note entirely. Black bread is further away and the profile is quite a wide landcape, gentlepersons. Sometimes folks ask if I really sense all these things. I reply, "Always great to hear from a fan."

"Keep checking into www.kaplowitz.xyz, your home on the web for this sorta thing."

"Have you Kaplowitz'd today?"

Creme brulee and the French chef is a firebug. The entirety of the first and some of the second act, dumps on my Chromebook keyboard. The room-not is a bit alkaline. It's on my tongue, too. Not bad, jut notable, thus noted and therefore notated. Packing density ain't dense by a long-shot. Rather spongy, actually. More crust on the bread. Woods: cedar and oak... seasoned and creamy, respectively. Nuts are not distinguishing themselves. My sources notify me that Tom Cruise detects that same alkaline bit on the room-note. He's a super-hero now, ya know. He can smell stuff from miles away. Seems he just leveled up his Scientology. Good for him. My smoke must be blowing south-bound to LA. I wish I was.

Grain! Barley, to be meticulously accurate... toasted. Compost is sweetening with that molasses going there. Combustion is a bit odd here; the leaves seem loosely packed and the new burnt offerings are aerated. A seam loosens at char-point. Draw becomes a tick less satiating. Black pepper really picks up here, and with it the strength. Full profile and a medium + strength. Leather is upon us. As the secondary band looms nigh, the burn is as straight as it ever was -- a slight ribbon. Red pepper now. Tingle heightens on me smoke-hole. My sources tell me that Tom tells them that the peppers can be sniffed on the room-note now, in a slight sharpening. I tell my sources to tell Mr. Cruise he is indeed correct.

Here we sit as the second act winds down and thus begins --

III
Sharp sharpening of sharpness. A tick diesel-y. Ash darkens precisely four (4) ticks. Flavors are hidden by bite. Was this cigar ever a box-press? My tongue hurts. Throaty like a bullfrog looking for a mate. I'm getting a bit of carbonation vibe from the sarsaparilla -- 'cept it's cola now. Nuts are almond, burnt. Leather is crisp on account of being held over a cedar fire. Cayenne joins the peppers. Black bread is burning in an oaken (sans cream) oven. Charred, scorched, what gives? Ever leave a frozen pepperoni pizza in the oven too long? Me too. Don't tell my Rabbi. At least not now, the High Holy Days are here and she's terribly busy.

Sharp peppers, charred wood, and bubbly cola. I can't wait for the band. Now there's something you never hear at a KISS concert these days. Body is thinning and is now a medium+. Flavors, as they were, are a -full. Strength is a medium+? Mouth-feel is like sucking on a hot pre-'82 penny (copper). Seams and draw hold, but the shaft is squish. Smoke heats up.

I'm a pilot. There is severe turbulence. I look over to my co-pilot. He's gone! "Where'd Sully go?" I ask the stewardess. "Honey, I don't now." He answers, snaps his fingers three times in a sassy Z formation. Oh, here's the band. I ease up on the controls. Weird. The band sorta looks like the side of a mountain...
EDITOR'S NOTE
Written prior to the Sabbath, automatically posted during. Gut Shabbos, gentlepersons... happy Saturday, goyim.

L'shalom

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Flores y Rodriguez Reserva Limitado - Blind Cigar Review

B"H
Offering #9 Serie III

THE CIGAR
Flores y Rodriguez Reserva Limitado
6 x 54 Grand Toro
w. Ecuadorian Habano
b. Dominican Olor
f. Piloto Cubano, Nicaraguan
K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K least, Z most
Construction W
Combustion O
Flavors O
Body O
Strength L
&
Sweet O
Sour O
Salty A
Bitter L
Umami P
&
Complexity P
Nuance P
Transition P
Balance O
Smoothness I
&
Animal K
Spicy P
Woody W
Vegetal O
Earthy O
Chemical K
SUMMATION
Mildly and pleasantly sweet, not desert-like -- braced softly by an acidic lilt. Not salty much, but toasted un-sharply when it doth appear. Minimal bitter notes delivered sans bite. Very smooth texture. Mouth-feel benefits from a relaxed peppery cleansing and very excellent moisture. Finish is medium length and an uncomplicated easy sweetness. Well balanced and rounded but doesn't display an awful amount of complexity and/or nuance. Rich 'nuff in a mellow fashion. An occasional retro-hale is mandated to add a bit of extra peppery zetz.

Peppers, white and black, slight green. Fruit, dried apple/apple core. Spices, yellow-orange. Apple butter. Sugar. Woods, cedar, crisp & oak, shavings (fleeting). Dirt/earth. Citrus, pith. Hay, creamy. Cream. Cardboard. Coffee, medium roast.

Draw tension doth wiggle, don't it? It doth. Satiation less so, but still. Combustion never perfects its line, but the pacing is quite nice. One small re-touch at the start of the 3/3 is needed. Construction is solid, to say the least, until some top-leaf cracking at the nub -though smoke stays cool to the toothpick. Never softens an iota insofar as packing. Room-note is very pleasant, and a big selling point. Verily, a decent smoke out-put. Verily an attainable stick to shut yer brain off with.
SMOKE TIME
125mins

FINAL GRADE
****B****
L'shalom

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

On the Next Cigars City Podcast...

Top Ten Memorable Corona Cigar Offerings

With www.kaplowitz.xyz hovering around its one year vastly cigar-centric anniversary, I figured I'd hit ya genetlepersons with a buncha celebratory lists. Lists are great, folks like 'em and they come together easy-peasy. Happy Shemptember!

We're all happy. L'chaim!

Please to enjoy, and thank-you for a truly wonderful and meaningful year. Now without further schmaltz...
TOP TEN MEMORABLE CORONA CIGAR OFFERINGS
(or, read post title)
My Father Cedros Deluxe Eminentes

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Ave Maria Morning Star - Cigar Review

B”H
INTRO
My candidate made your candidate look like a real schlemiel in last night's debate. To celebrate, gentlepersons, an Ave Maria. A brand that I find peachy keen. Particularly with some age on it. Incidentally, your candidate is an alter cocker. 

THE CIGAR
Ave Maria 
Morning Star 5 x 58 Perfecto
w. Ecuadorian Habano
b. Nicaraguan Habano
f. Honduran and Nicaraguan
PRE-LIGHT
A tick more vein than expected and a couple loose seams. Well affixed cap. Medium+ density of pack on a Charmin squeeze test. "You got peanut butter in my chocolate," "You got chocolate in my peanut butter" complected, and evenly so. Silky slight peach fuzz hand-feel. Good heft and nigh curiously superior balance in my paw, given the format. Lotsa tobacco; mousy brown stuff, judging by what's peeking out of the Perfecto nipple.

Cocoa butter nose, verily. A cold pull offers up some soft mulling spices in a milk chocolate note. Buttery cedar. Medium+ draw tension. Finish is sweet with a half-zetz of spice and white pepper. Some graham influence.

LIGHT
White pepper, graham, then a heartier black pepper. Cocoa. Finishes in a coffee and cream. That there is the numero uno hot draw. Numero dos, por favor? Well, that one is retro-haled to more white and black peppers, a thicker chocolate note, and mulling spices. Coffee and cream muscles up at the far-end. Third hottie is an introduction of cocoa butter'd cedar. Some sunny dirt and hay under-belly with a suede attachment. 

Draw is nearing a -full tension'd affair. Still, me smoke-hole is mainly satiated and building. With the nipple now a white and heather-grey burnt offering of ash, the line settles into even on a -medium thickness. Packing hath softened not against my toast and light. Smoke out-put mounts and the room-note is a cedar suede sweetness.
ACT I
Car-a-mel, mah brutha. Honey graham crackers. Coffee and cream. Cocoa butter. Sunny yet muscular earthiness under it all. Nice. Mulling spice stays and laces. Draw loosens to a pre-light medium+ and a more open one, at that. At a hair shy of an inch, a dollop of cream doth arrive. Texture is quite smooth with a slight and kind white pepper zing which cleanses. Long legs that finish, finally, cleanly. For a moment I though I detected a mineral aspect vibing in, but no. I get delicate white flowers now. Lightly roasted cashews, salted. 

The smoke around me gets more weighted. An aromatic tobacco note flits into it. Construction and combustion chug along in a well-orchestrated performance. Very smooth pacing. A bit of sugary lemon comes in on the end of draw.

ACT II
Cashew butter. Profile is a well-balanced medium+ with a medium strength. Top-leaf is bugabooing, humsoever. A slight crack has become slightly less slight and is up to under the large and ornate band. We shall see. Performance has not been hindered by this thus far. Big coffee and cream. I remove the band sans issue and no greater cracking is revealed. My guess is the crack will be smoked through like a Whitney Houston party. Even more cream with an upping of sugar lemon bits. Floral notes are a tick heartier. 

The entire ash is intact, which means it should dump on my lap any second, now that I made mention of it. I got a shcmatta at the ready, gentlepersons. Don't worry 'bout ol' Kap. Man, this feel good in my lips. Leaves a nice sweet saltiness on them. Ash hits the deck of my cement porch and don't break. I pick it up and toss it in my $0.99 Walmart tray and it don't break. Suede goes to leather and a new wood comes in, an oak. Toasty. Those new notes firm up the under-belly and raise it a few ticks. More honey graham, less car-a-mel. A nougat thing tries. Crack is a burnt offering memory.

Profile stays put. A new peanut note comes in. Mouth-feel is a tick damp now, but nice. I'm missing the floral stuff. Toasty toasts to a greater toastiness. Leather is pale and worked to a softness. Hay is gone. Good.

ACT III
Say thou wilt about me, my son Snack Tray, and my dachshund Ruby Vondella -- but knock Ave Maria -- and a bit of fisticuffs may ensue, gentlepersons. Be forewarned: I am a pacifist, but too, I have a lot of pent up agression. I'm grinding my teeth as I type.

All is on cruise control, but not sedate. Strength is a medium+ now, to match the profile. Well rounded notes on a smooth texture with a neat-o zing. Superb balance. What's not to like? Cashew butter and boiled peanuts soar. Coffee and cream. Cocoa butter. Honey graham crackers. Sugary lemon. I repeat myself because I am impressed. Yummy. Bittersweet finish is flexing in bitter, but nicely. Coffee is an Americano and now with raw sugar. Black pepper is only shown on a retro-hale. White pepper stays and softens; leave a tingle on the tip a me tongue with a lemon aid. See what I did there? Oy vey, the brilliance. If you like that sorta thing, keep coming back to www.kaplowitz.xyz: yer home on the web for that sorta thing.

Nub is soft, but seams and draw hold. Smoke is as cool as my entire bedroom pillow... for I sleep downstairs on the couch.
PAIRINGS
Loganberry Manischewitz.

SMOKE TIME
80mins

FINAL GRADE
****B+****

OUTRO

L’shalom

Top Ten Memorable Churchill Cigar Offerings

With www.kaplowitz.xyz hovering around its one year vastly cigar-centric anniversary, I figured I'd hit ya genetlepersons with a buncha celebratory lists. Lists are great, folks like 'em and they come together easy-peasy. Happy Shemptember!

We're all happy. L'chaim!

Please to enjoy, and thank-you for a truly wonderful and meaningful year. Now without further schmaltz...
TOP TEN MEMORABLE CHURCHILL CIGAR OFFERINGS
(or, read post title)

Monday, September 26, 2016

House of Chaliceg-d CG13 Two Perfectos One Day

B"H
INTRO
I'm just a sucker for the Perfecto format, gentlepersons.
THE CIGAR
House of Chaliceg-d CG13
6 x 46 Perfecto
w. Nicaraguan
b./f. Dominican

KAPLOWITZ SCALE
(K least, Z most)
Construction L
Combustion O
Flavors O
Body O
Strength O
Favor notes: Red spiced hardwoods and leathery cocoa. Chicken broth.

FINAL GRADE
****B****
PORTLAND MEADOWS
(9/27/16, noon post)
1. 7
2. 3
3. 8
4. 5
5. 3
6. 4
7. 6
8. 10
9. 5
10. 9
THE CIGAR
House of Chaliceg-d CG13
4 x 43 Perfecto
w. Mexican San Andres
b./f. Dominican
KAPLOWITZ SCALE
(K least, Z most)
Construction W
Combustion O
Flavors W
Body O
Strength W
Primary flavor notes: Charred peppery compost. Toasted hickory. Lucky Charms.

FINAL GRADE
****B****
MLB 9/29/16
(more from me crystal ball)
Arizona WASHINGTON
CLEVELAND Detroit
Chicago PITTSBURGH
RED SOX New York
BALTIMORE Toronto
PHILADELPHIA Atlanta
Minnesota KANSAS CITY
Cincinnati SAINT LOUIS
Tampa Bay CHICAGO
 Los Angeles SAN DIEGO
Oakland SEATTLE
Colorado SAN FRANCISCO

OUTRO
Entertainment purposes only. Wager responsibly. Brush teeth twice daily. Take vitamins. Say prayers. Void where prohibited. 

L'shalom

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Cigars City Podcast - Alec Bradley Family Blend

September 25, 2016

Gentlepersons, please press play below to peruse:


We taste an Alec Bradley Family Blend offering and go over the Kaplowitz list of Best Cigars Shemptember to Shemptember 2015-16.

As always, thanks so well, for the lending of yer attentions.

Best Cigars Shemptember to Shemptember 2015-16

1. Crowned Heads Tennessee Waltz (December 2015)
2. Matilde Oscura (April 2016)
3. Alec Bradley Prensado (September 2016)
4. Master Blends Cuban Crown (May 2016)
5. Black Works Studio (BLK WKS) NBK (February 2016)
6. Fallen Angel (August 2016)

A Review of Recent Grade A Cigar Offerings

"Keep on the sunny side,
always on the sunny side,
keep on the sunny side of life;"
-Ada Blenkhorn
Gentlepersons, here's a list as shallow and pedantic as Lois Griffin's meatloaf. It is a list of recent cigar offerings I found to be worthy of A (A- to A+) review ratings.

[Names are links to full review.]
Well, that's a year's worth of these monthly 'A Review of Recent Grade A Cigar Offerings' posts now; and a happy Shemptember to you all. Thank you all so verily much for the kind and extended loaning of yer attentions. I am humbled. I am thankful. Here's to another year! L'chaim!

Friday, September 23, 2016

18 Sabbaths - My Father Le Bijou 1922 - 9th Sabbath

THE CIGAR
My Father Cigars
Le Bijou 1922
6 1/8 x 52 torpedo box-press
w. Nicaraguan Habano Oscuro (Pelo De Oro)
b./f. Nicaraguan

A full review of this offering can be read HERE.
A K A P L O W I T Z Scale review can be read HERE.
All 18 Sabbaths (& more re: the project) can be read HERE.

This offering and the remaining are courtesy of Cigars City and my mad March Madness skills.
I
The Cadbury Fruit and Nut milk chocolate bar hits first, on a thick toasted cream. Then, three puffs in -- BOOM -- black pepper blast. Two puffs later, a rich espresso enters. Chocolate darkens. Mouth-feel is peppery tingle. Texture of smoke is silky. A chew develops and a meatiness doth loom nigh. All that, gentlepersons, plus I just picked an '87 Topps Lee Mazzilli out of a Dollar Store mixed pack of baseball cards. It strikes me, life, or at least baseball cards and cigars -- only appears a crap-shoot. There is a hedging of bets. I know that I won't be finding a Willie Mays rookie card in these Dollar Store packs... but I stand a fine chance of finding a wonderful smoke in this box of Le Bijou. Although I had to walk away from two of the thus far nine...

Maybe it is all a crap-shoot, and we each have our own treasure. Our own pay-out. Lee Mazzilli went to my High school. Bread note, dark and toasty sidle up to a pipe tobacco note of great headiness. Abraham Lincoln HS. Brooklyn. Two alternate universes and a few lives ago. Fruits ramp up in purple juices. They leave the chocolate to morph on its lonesome to a fudge brownie goo. I feel I'm all over the place here, gentlepersons. I taste prune hamentashen.

Sweet, sweet fruits. Ripe and fresh. Eat them this minute or: over-ripe. Burn is a slight ribbon off an out-doors light, so we shall allow a settling and self-correcting. Some cedar is trying to try. There's a touch of oak shavings, seared. Pack hath softened off light and about 3/4" ahead of burn. Corners begin rounding less than an inch in. Draw is even so far. Medium+ tension'd. Something like a ruby red grapefruit is cleansing under the sweet syrups of the heavier fruits. Ash is a thinly-cracked silver sheath with a tick of flake. Texture is a half bite above smooth. A tick throaty. Tingly, yeah. Smoke out-put is fairly mild and smells of leathery compost from the draw's under-belly. Like that under-belly, there is fruitiness in the room-note. Spices. Black pepper, some red, and a bright red spice-rack. Retro-hale is a schnoz-burner, but drops to the palate in chocolate woodiness. As Act II looms ever-so nigh, the line thins to a razor's edge and is almost as straight.

II
Leafing through the cards. Some kid from the Mariners on a '97 Topps Stadium Club, utility infielder. Must be representative of my Pacific Northwest now. Jeff Schaeffer. Feh. Chocolate is a bit thinner, though at the same height... sharpens a tick. Ya know what don't sharpen? The burn. I'll need a re-light to ward off a potential canoe and lagging bit of top-leaf. I taste banana. Seams loosen. Throaty. Re-light works until it doesn't, which happens quickly. Corners are round. Draw gets a bit hollow-sided. 

Verily compost. Pack gets spongy, but it straightens out the draw and somewhat the burn. Lots of aromatic tobacco on draw and room-note. Fruity... a new papaya. Brown sugar. Leather up the wazoo, gentlepersons. All told, the second third is a transition to more earthen notes. Profile is a -full and strength is a medium+. Nicely robust. Excellent smoke-hole satiation. Excellent moisture level therein. Nuts are walnut now, darkly roasted and somewhat of a paste in the compost high-up under-belly. They attract some chocolate wrap-around from up-top.

Construction and combustion are all good as the third act is almost upon us. Nice draw, big, big smoke off each end. Tobacco, dark rich toasted, like I like mah wiminz. A little sweet, too. Like I dislike mah wiminz.

III
Much the same as the second act, and I ain't complaining. I'll tell a quick story. There's a sticker card in this grab-bag Dollar Store pack. Chicago Cubs. I was about ten years-old.  My dad had done his pal and mishpucha Benny a favor. Benny cashed bad checks; he did some time, but funny -- even after -- the banks wanted their moolah. Benny's mom died and left him 30 grand from years of her work as a seamstress. He couldn't leave a trail, Benny. So on paper, his mom left my dad the 30 grand. Savvy? Good. Well, my dad then forked it all over to Benny. As a thank-ya, Benny took my dad and ten year-old me to a Mets game. They were playing the Cubbies. Our seats were so high-up that birds were flying under us. I got dizzy looking down toward the ants on the field who were curiousl 'nuff, wearing blue caps. At the seventh inning stretch, my dad stood up and pretended to get a nose bleed on account of the altitude. Benny, whatta guy.

I still love him and look him up on occasion. Can't find him. My mom says I remind her of Benny. I don't talk to my mom.

Woodsy earth corralled in leather, barely. A few bold notes churning out from that core now, at the band. Chocolate, nuts, espresso. Fruits weave in and out, as doth a smoked meat vibe back from the stick's nigh onset. A floral addition, hibiscus, is at the start of the long finish. Black pepper tingles. Nice. Lovely and masculine. Gut Shabbos, gentlepersons.
EDITOR'S NOTE
Written prior to the Sabbath, automatically posted during. Gut Shabbos, gentlepersons... happy Saturday, goyim.

L'shalom

Top Ten Memorable San Andres Cigar Offerings

With www.kaplowitz.xyz hovering around its one year vastly cigar-centric anniversary, I figured I'd hit ya genetlepersons with a buncha celebratory lists. Lists are great, folks like 'em and they come together easy-peasy. Happy Shemptember!

We're all happy. L'chaim!

Please to enjoy, and thank-you for a truly wonderful and meaningful year. Now without further schmaltz...
TOP TEN MEMORABLE SAN ANDRES CIGAR OFFERINGS
(or, read post title)

Thursday, September 22, 2016

On the Next Cigars City Podcast...

La Herencia Cubana The Core - Cigar Review

THE CIGAR
La Herencia Cubana The Core
5 x 52 Robusto Box-pressed
w. Ecuadorian Sungrown
b. Nicaraguan
f. Nicaraguan, PA Broadleaf


KAPLOWITZ Scale
(K least, Z most)
Construction I
Combustion O
Flavors I
Body I
Strength W
FINAL GRADE
****B+****

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Lavida Habana (LH) Maduro - Cigar Review

B"H
INTRO
Lettuce see, gentlepersons, what my Mishpucha over at Cigars City had to say re: this offering --
"Lavida Habana's beloved maduro in a convenient corona package.
Dressed in a beautiful Ecuadorian Criollo wrapper, LH Premium's maduro line-up is simply the perfect cigar for the beach or wherever you choose to spend your lazy, relaxing days. You're going to notice cocoa with a strong hint of cherry in the cold, pre-light draw. Once lit, this maduro corona starts spewing a complex array of notes and flavors with a bit of spice that develop into a chocolately/peppery mix that's going to delight your senses.
Hand-rolled in Costa Rica, you'll enjoy the blend of Brazilian, Peruvian and Nicaraguan premium long-filler tobaccos. At 5.6" x 44, the corona offers a great 30-45 minute smoke that won't occupy your whole day but once you taste these - you'll wish it did!"
Use of the word "spewing" aside, do go grab this up HERE at Cigars City. This is my first go-around with the blend in Corona, but HERE, look what I've said in regards to the same blend in Robusto some time ago HERE.

THE CIGAR
(Lavida Habana)
5.6 x 54 Corona, closed foot
w. Ecuadorian Criollo
b./f. Nicaraguan, Peruvian, & Brazilian
K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K least, Z most
Construction O
Combustion P
Flavors W
Body W
Strength O
&
Sweet W
Sour L
Salty A
Bitter W
Umami L
&
Complexity W
Nuance O
Transition L
Balance O
Smoothness I
&
Animal K
Spicy O
Woody O
Vegetal L
Earthy W
Chemical K
SUMMATION
Never a trace of acidic nature nor of salty bits. Bitter but softly so and well-delivered into a quite balanced flavor profile. No bite whatsoever and a creamy texture. Sweet in a well fermented Maduro manner. Balanced, as stated, but somewhat too, lacking in sour meanderings... a neat bittersweet forward balance, fair 'nuff, gentlepersons? Not heavy, but well satiating. Rich and relaxing. Finish is a complex bittersweet that lingers and then-some, ending in a clean sweetness. Draw is less complex, though well nuanced. Transitions are simply not the show intended here.

Flavors, as they doth arose: Pepper, white and black on a creamy cloud. Spices, luke-warm orange to red and darkly sweet. Earth, rich and sweetened w/ -- Fruit juices. Chocolate, dark cocoa,softly. Black cherry. Wood, olive. Olives (a note practically particular to this blend). Anise. Rye bread (marbled) and malt. Toast. Apple orchard vibe. Compost. 

Combustion needs a bit of guiding by way of three re-touches in the first half, then another quarter dozen in the second. Burn never sharpens past a ribbon, but works twixt finaglings. Construction is nice but an occasional draw dips in satiation; too there is some softening of pack density in the second half. Draw resistance there goes from a medium to medium+. Smoke out-put wiggles 'round in the average range throughout. I can't help but think I "pulled a bad one" as to performance woes. In no other LH offering I've had, and boy, I've had -- have I experienced this ilk of stuffs. Humsoever, my grade here reflects this stick right here at hand.

OUTRO
SMOKE TIME
60mins

FINAL GRADE
****B****
L'shalom

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Alec Bradley Tempus - Cigar Review

B"H
INTRO
Re: above picture. I have a zit. Smack 'twixt the eyes. Here, look at my hipster (Heebster) shoe instead, while I look at --

THE CIGAR
Alec Bradley Tempus
Creo 7 1/2 x 41 Gran Panetela*
w. Honduran
b. Honduran
f. Honduran, Nicaraguan
I
Smoky chocolate behind a black pepper front. Meat. Latte. Woods growing outta a crisp compost underbelly; hardwoods and cedar. Dark. Nutty mix of walnuts and pecans, roasted. Bittersweet, verily. Robust weight of creamy smoke. Hello, and thanks for visiting www.kaplowitz.xyz. Your home on the web for this sorta thing. Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?

Burn happens a tick wobbly, nothing egregious. OK, nigh egregious. A bucket of potpourri just arrived. Some red fruits. Chewy, gentlepersons. Packing starts at a medium+ density and remains there after torching. Draw is a tick of a hollow lag at its immediate start, but then satiates the ol' smoke-hole. Leather, supple and oily is on the draw and room-note; also on the room-note is a slight but definite ashy quality. Smoke out-put is a tick over average. Rest of room-note is bitter sweet aromatic tobacco with a certain juiciness. Cola, sans carbonation comes into draw. Some red tea, too.

Ash is Honduran, (read: dark). Holds to a Panetela inch, which I find impressive. A bit of a ribbon is at the line. Espresso goes full-on Cuban coffee. BIG wood. BIG nuts. Get yer mind outta the gutter, gentlepersons. Chocolate fudges, dense. Some black pepper, finely ground to a powder, sits on top a' the cream on my tongue-tip. Palate is that Cuban coffee, mainly. Mouth-feel is a chewy goodness of exceptional moisture content. Finish is a bittersweet classic of memorable legs. Rich lady perfumes are on the end of draw, fading to and through the finish. I see a small bedside lamp with a red velvet shade. I believe I am in a house of ill repute, gentlepersons. This Tempus is a vixen! ... and me, just a lil Jew kid from Brooklyn. My Rabbi warned me about this!

II
Wood note/s sharpen/s against the profile, but still not very delineated amongst it/themself. I've read that previous sentence half a dozen times now, and I just don't know. Hardwoods lead with a big bit of cedar and smaller bit of mesquite. Nuts too are a melange of darkly roasted almonds, walnuts, pecans -- in that order. Almond note dries the under-side of my tongue a tick. Compost under-belly is perfume infused. Draw remains a tick hollow at first tug and more so. Middling is Cuban coffee and house of ill repute. Also, some brownie... I think... Can't fully recall... I haven't tasted a Brownie since I was a Cub Scout. Don't forget to pre-order yer Kaplowitz T-shirts to-day!

Draw hesitates a bit more and a canoe threat threatens the burn. Re-touch mainly fixes. Medium+ profile across-the-board. Pack softens exactly three (3) ticks. A fairly brilliant and flavorful blend, this Alec Bradley Tempus -- hampered by issues oft germane to the Panetela plot. A little bit, I feel as though there's a slight split in the straw I'm sucking chocolate soda through. I type that, then VOOM rush of smoke to smoke-hole. Heavy and smooth. Nice. The next few puffs to current, too. Leather thickens in supple fashion. All told, not a ton of transitions, not even a thousand pounds of 'em -- but that ain't what this is apparently about. Tons of nuances. Excellent consistency of flavor with well 'nuff happenings to stave off boredom. Strength stays at medium+ as the rest of profile ups to -full. Heavy grains come in, toasted barley. Hard cider comes into woods. Ash aerates a bissel.

III
An interesting bit of action here, though no new additions, per se. We start with an extension of the second act's close. Then at about halfway through the final act, we return to Act I. Then it's Panatela issues as far as he eye can see. Just shy of band, we go out. Whatta ride, gentlepersons! All via performance and not so much notes. Fercoct, on might rightly say. Meshuga to say the very least. I haven't had a sip of Manischewitz in to weeks. I'd pair this AB with Blackberry.

On a re-light, there's a heady chocolate blast and woods get the grains. Under-belly of earth is huge and bulges up to middlings, has some herbs now. Dark rye and caraway seeds are the final addition. I never expected to end up in a Jewish Delicatessen. I shoulda seen it coming, generally speaking. Good to have a nosh after a whorehouse visit. L'chaim!

The Avenue Z Delicatessen of my Brooklyn youth. My dad and I would order buttered kaiser rolls. The schmear knife used was the same used for each spreadable offering offered. The butter tasted of chopped liver, of cream cheese, of chive, of herbs, and of lox spread. Of more, too. Yum. This Tempus is actually somewhat reminiscent of that in some ways. Methinks, nay know, in another vitola I'd be looking at a quite solid A grade smoke.
SMOKE TIME
80mins

FINAL GRADE
****B+****

OUTRO
EDITOR'S NOTES
*I've seen this offering called a Panetela and/or Lancero. At over 7 inches in length, it's a Gran Panetela.

L'shalom

Top Ten Memorable Habano Cigar Offerings

With www.kaplowitz.xyz hovering around its one year vastly cigar-centric anniversary, I figured I'd hit ya genetlepersons with a buncha celebratory lists. Lists are great, folks like 'em and they come together easy-peasy. Happy Shemptember! L'chaim!

Please to enjoy, and thank-you for a truly wonderful and meaningful year. Now without further schmaltz...
TOP TEN MEMORABLE HABANO OFFERINGS
(or, see post title)

Monday, September 19, 2016

El Galan Reserva Especial - Blind Cigar Review

B"H
Offering #8 Serie III

THE CIGAR
El Galan Reserva Especial
Airosos 5 x 52 Robusto Box-press
w. Nicaraguan Habano Oscuro
b./f. Nicaraguan
K A P L O W I T Z SCALE
K least, Z most
Construction O
Combustion L
Flavors I
Body W
Strength L
&
Sweet W
Sour P
Salty L
Bitter W
Umami O
&
Complexity W
Nuance I
Transition L
Balance W
Smoothness W
&
Animal W
Spicy W
Woody W
Vegetal O
Earthy O
Chemical K
SUMMATION
Non-acidic, slightly+ salty, and barely sour. Quite bitter in perfect balance with sweetness. Excellent umami savoriness. Smooth for such a muscular bunch of flavor notes. Richly robust medium profile, with just 'nuff strength and low nicotine. Notes are well balanced, tho some in (purposeful) absentia. All told, an excellent look at bittersweet. It's there in spades on a long-legged and pleasing finish which ends cleanly.

Black pepper. Oak, charred and seasoned. Earth, top-soil. Cream, toasted. Espresso. White pepper. Molasses. Nuts, dark roasted walnut. Manure. Caramelized sugar. Meat, smoked. Fruit, pale dried. Cinnamon. Chocolate, dark. Cocoa butter. Rum, spiced. Mesquite, fleeting. Salt. Cloves. Apple, green. Grain, mash. Toast, dark sweet bread. Wine cask. Compost.

I once had a '77 Pontiac. Passed everything on the road but a gas station. I'd floor it and watch the gauge drop. I toke on this and watch the burnt offerings grow. That ash is dense, thick, and ugly. Dark. Me, in the summer. Performance is average insofar as construction/combustion. A single re-touch is needed on an other-wise ribbon'd affair of a self-correcting tho not perfecting nature. Box-press holds but rounds almost immediately. Squishy. Seams hold and top-leaf is quite thick. Draw wiggles around in Medium+vile tension. Satiation of smoke-hole doth the same. Draw tightens up at the somewhat squishy nub, smoke lessens but stays cool, Daddy-O... I mean gentlepersons.
SMOKE TIME
60mins

FINAL GRADE
****B+****

EDITOR'S NOTE
About a year's humi-time on this 'un.

L'shalom