Monday, September 21, 2015

Mailbag Monday for 09.21.15

My, how popular Mailbag Monday has become in just a few small installments. Thank you all ever so fondly, gentlepersons -- and welcome back. Pleasantries met, we commence.
"New pipe smoker here, to filter or not to filter?

In my opinion, a filter should be employed only as a solution to an issue, and not at all if there ain’t an issue. In other words, there’s no need for a pipe filter to be part of your ‘factory setting.” If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

As an explanation and for argument's sake, let’s look at the three kinds of pipe filters available today:

Absorpative Filters
These, as you hopefully already assumed, absorb. These filters reduce moisture, but too and generally equally, reduce flavor. A good way to reduce moisture and keep flavor -- AKA have yer cake and smoke it, too -- is to become a better smoker. Slow your pace, smooth your draw, and prior to that: load a better bowl. These actions will greatly reduce the amount of water in your smokestream.

In this case then, you may think of a pipe filter as training wheels that are placed on a bicycle after you learn to ride. Doesn’t make a whole lotta sense, huh? Just be a better cyclist. Side note: if you are a pipe smoking cyclist -- Hipster. Or in my case -- Heebster.

Pass-Through Filters
Using activated charcoal or silica crystals, these filters reduce both tars and nicotine -- something that might mean a heckuva lot more if you inhaled your smoke. Do not inhale your smoke. Since you aren’t going to inhale, this filter will mainly reduce flavors and moisture. In that order. (See ways to more properly cut down on moisture above.)

Condenser Filters
I recommend this type to anyone married to the filter approach. Probably because they aren’t exactly filters at all. You might better know them as “stingers,” and what they do is essentially be a colder than their environment piece of metal which attracts a greater amount of moisture to it, than does your smoke-hole. These ‘filters’ tend to detract from flavors the least (none), and also reduce the least amount of wet. Think of them as training wheels, but training wheels that are way up high off the ground. You’re growing up so fast!

Now, with strains of Harry Chapin’s "Cat’s in the Cradle" playing all around us -- I’ll leave you with the advice to do whatever makes you smile. That, and take yer dad to a ballgame, ya lousy ingrate.
"I’m a new smoker who loves full-bodied cigars. Can you recommend a few?"

What’s this, AMATEUR HOUR? I kid -- I am ever so glad that people are picking up our wonderful hobby of premium tobacco decadent staycationing.

That stated, before I send you off with a handful of full-bodied recommendations, let’s examine what is now our shared situation. You are a nascent cigar smoker who(m?) prefers full bodied cigars. Let’s first distinguish body from strength from flavor.

Body: 
A way to describe how a cigar lays on your palate in a physical sense, AKA: mouthfeel. Think texture, weight, richness, etc.

Strength: 
Can simply be called the “buzz.” The wonderful effect which nicotine has on your body -- like making your hair feel as though it is sweating. This effect is rated on the aforementioned light to full scale.

Flavor: 
Simply, how a cigar tastes. This can be divided into firstly “magnitude,” Light to medium and all points in-between re: intensity. Secondly, there are “distinctive” tastes which are the familiar four types of tastes: sweet, sour, salty and bitter. I myself add in umami and fat to make six -- but that’s another topic entirely.

Now, let’s make certain that each of us is, in fact, smoking properly -- Please to read my lesson HERE on breathing.

If you are still in the market for a full-bodied offering, hit me up privately. I simply cannot think of a cigar whose manufacturer is paying me to publicly endorse their full-flavored product.
"Handmade vs Hand Rolled. Is there a difference?"

Yes there is indeed a difference. Handmade means that only hands (of the human variety) have been privy and part of the making of that particular offering which is labeled as such.

Hand rolled, on the other hand, well -- “made” and “rolled” -- that second one is a whole heckuva lot more precise, ain’t it? I smell lawyer. In short, offerings touted as “hand rolled” are just that. Rolled by hand. Machines are used to assemble these specimen up to the point of human contact, that being a torcedore rolling on the wrapper.
"How can I get the chemical plastic stink out of my Tupperware before I turn it into a tupperdor?"

Do I look like Martha Stewart, sir?

On the off chance that I do:
in many cases a simple “airing out” will suffice. Failing that, the next step is a washing out either by hand or machine, and then another “airing out.” Thirdly, and this is in the event of the worst case scenario, soak container (and lid) in the sink in a mixture of boiled water, baking soda, and white vinegar. For about a day.

It’s worth noting that the popularity of tupperdors is on the rise, and that stated, you can lay waste to your collection of stogies by mindlessly throwing them in an unexamined stank-filled container. Be careful out there, gentlepersons.

A note: in my experience, I’ve noticed that Tupperware proper, stinks a lot less to high heaven than do some of the cheap-o alternatives. This is a low budget option, as is -- no sense in squeezing more blood out of your nickel and spite your own face by destroying yer sticks.

Try a coolidor.
"What exactly does Maduro mean? I’ve heard it used seemingly different ways."

Maduro is Spanish for a whale’s vagina. No wait -- that’s not right at all. I believe it’s an old, old wooden ship used in the Civil War era -- although that doesn’t make a whole lotta sense, either. I do tend to hear Maduro mentioned in certain circles and in certain ways that would lead to some confusion. Thus stated, let’s leave Ron Burgundy be, and tackle the question at hand.

Maduro: A Spanish term meaning “mature” or “ripe” which applies to a wrapper leaf that is medium or dark brown.

There are several methods used to achieve this complexion, normally dependant upon the hybrid of plant. Some are fermented for longer periods of time, while others are simply left on the plant unpicked until the end of the growing cycle.

Then we see that Maduro is not a type of wrapper per se, nor is it a particular leaf. Almost any tobacco leaf can be processed via fermentation, or allowed become Maduro, when the natural oils within the leaf come to its surface -- causing the color to darken.

Another misconception, which I’ve poked fun at, is that a Maduro wrapper makes for a ‘strong smoke.’ While the process we’ve discussed can and often does enhance the flavors of the smoke, the leaf actually tends toward becoming more mellow. Because of this characteristic, there are many Maduro-wrapped, mild-bodied cigars on the market.

I can only hope, dear gentleperson reader, that you enjoy my A as much as I am grateful for yer Q. You can tweet me your premium tobacco related query @iamkap DMs work, too.